Chapter 5:

"They… they made me sleep on the floor," Cody told him, blankly, as if he was repeating something from a textbook. "Only, it was really cold, Tapeworm. It was really cold." He paused, as if remembering. He looked up at Zack, who had joined them. "It was hard, Zack. It was hard. Hard and cold. And… and they hit me. They hit me all the time, sometimes so hard that I couldn't remember anymore. I couldn't… I couldn't remember what hurt and what didn't. I couldn't remember when they last hit me. All the days… they mixed together. They… they hit me when I looked into their eyes," he said, trying to bring up his eyes to Zack's level. They immediately flashed down again. "They hit me hard all the time. They told me I was worthless. They told me I was nothing."

"They," he continued, "they told me that nobody would ever love me. They told me that you didn't love me—that Mom didn't love me. I hurt inside, Zack—I hurt inside all the time. I hurt on the outside too, but more on the inside. Because you hurt. I could feel it all the time… and I hated myself for making you hurt. I hated myself."

Zack felt a sob catch in his throat. Cody didn't deserve this. He hadn't deserved any of it. Zack glanced over at Tapeworm who had tears spilling from his eyes.

"I hurt you Tapeworm," Cody whispered. "I hurt you. I'm sorry."

Tapeworm rubbed at the scratch on his cheek. "It's nothing, Cody. Don't worry about it."

"I don't deserve you," Cody whimpered softly. "I don't deserve any of you. I'm nothing."

"No Cody," Zack managed to whisper. "We don't deserve you."

xxx

About a week passed, and Carey decided that Cody was now stable enough to go to school. Cody had revealed everything to her, taking his own time. Carey was aware that Cody was extremely behind. In math, he was at an ok range, because he had almost finished Geometry in Seventh Grade before his disappearance. It was only the matter of how much he actually remembered.

Cody took a couple of tests, and it seemed that he was pretty much ok, since when he'd disappeared, he'd been taking freshman level material.

How had he remembered all of it? Only Cody knew. He had had nothing else to hang onto, so he hung onto all his memories: his family, his friends, school even. He hung onto everything so he wouldn't lose himself. He wouldn't become nothing.

Zack promised Carey he'd help Cody catch up. Cody had to smile faintly at that. Three years before he had been the ideal student, he had been the caring and kind one. Strangely, Cody didn't feel jealous at all. He loved his brother for who he was, whoever he would ever become.

And so it was with this trust that he started high school. For the first time.

xxx

Zack walked in front of Cody, leading him down the halls. They'd always seemed open and welcoming to Zack, but now they felt intimidating and dangerous. Zack glanced back at his brother every once in awhile. Cody looked pale and white—the way he'd looked for days.

"Come on Cody," he said, pulling his brother up next to him. He felt better when he could see his brother all the time.

"Here's your locker," he said, reaching a locker next to his. It had been empty ever since Maura Markren moved to Utah. "Umm… we have math first."

He led his brother down the hallway to the math classroom, disregarding the gasps and stares of disbelief.

"Is that Cody Martin?"

"My God, it is."

"I thought he was dead."

"Well, he sure looks alive to me."

"He's still skinnier than his twin, you know."

"Well Zack's not as fat as he used to be. He is the captain of the basketball team."

"Yeah, that's true. But my God, I thought that kid was a goner."

"Looks like they found him."

"I never knew that there were two of them."

"They don't really look alike."

"Oh, trust me, when they were smaller, they were almost identical."

"Yeah, he was kidnapped at a Red Sox game. Zack never went to one again."

The whispers bubbled around them, and Zack flinched, but Cody seemed not to notice. He seemed to turn stone deaf at some times. Cody had told Zack that sometimes he had hurt so much, he just didn't want to hear anything anymore.

So he didn't listen.

"We're here," Zack stepped into the math room, followed by his twin.

The math teacher, Miss Evans, a young blonde lady, smiled. "Oh, you must be Cody," she said, standing up to shake his hand.

Cody brought his eyes away from her and looked at the ground. He didn't take her hand.

Miss Evans shot a look of pity at Zack and told him to sit down. Zack pulled out another desk for Cody.

Miss Evans started talking about linear functions, but Zack wasn't listening. Which was odd.

He was too busy glancing over at Cody, making sure he was ok. Cody was staring intently at the board, as if trying to make sense of it all.

When Miss Evans asked a question, Zack was surprised to see Cody raise his hand. But he got the question right.

Maybe the old Cody wasn't so lost after all.

xxx

It was P.E., and Zack watched as Cody flinched every single time a ball came at him—afraid to be hurt. Coach Petersen took Cody out after watching Zack go through obvious pain.

Zack had to watch his brother sit on the sidelines. The period was almost over but he realized he had to use the bathroom.

Really bad.

"Tapeworm?" he asked, watching as his friend's curly brown head turned to face him.

"Yeah Zack?"

"Watch Cody for me, ok? I have to go use the bathroom."

"Sure Zack."

Zack ran off for the bathroom, used it as fast as he could, and ran back, just a few minutes after the period ended, trying to keep the pounding of his heart to stop. He'll be alright. It's ok.

He clambered to the door of empty gym—Coach had left, and saw a limp figure on the floor, lying next to the door. A figure with long, tousled brown hair.

"Oh God," he whispered, bending down to where Tapeworm was lying motionless on the ground. "Tape," he gasped, shaking his friend and flipping him over.

Tapeworm let out a small groan, and looked up at him with glassy eyes. "It hurts," he whispered, a trickle of blood coming from his mouth. He grabbed his stomach and let out a strangled moan of agony.

"Where's Cody?"

"They took him," Tapeworm whimpered in audible pain. "They took him."

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