AN: I know it's been so long. Uni was really really busy for the last few weeks. I'm also away on holidays. But I know you don't want excuses just the next chapter. So enjoy…hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: Yes I own Harry Potter :wakes up: Nooooo, it was just a dream. In case that wasn't clear enough, I don't own Harry Potter.

Everything's So Wrong and That Is Real

Physically Hermione improved dramatically over the next few days due to Madam Pomfrey's mediwitch skills. Mentally however, Hermione was plagued with nightmares and during the day often suffered from flashbacks. While she tried to hide the effect this was having on her, everyone could see that Hermione looked constantly tired and that she was withdrawing from other people.

To combat her sleepiness and to try and escape from the nightmares that haunted her, Hermione did what she does best, read. Once everyone in Headquarters were asleep Hermione would creep down to the library and read, she would read anything that was in the library, whatever would keep her awake. She even started reading the Encyclopedia of the Wizarding World just so she would not have to sleep.

One night, Hermione made her regular journey down to the library, and closed the door and turned to see Remus sitting on the couch reading. He looked up at the sound of the door closing and smiled when he saw Hermione. Hermione gave a small smile in reply and pulled out a book to read, settling on the other side of the couch Remus was sitting in. The two read in silence, Remus knowing that Hermione would talk when she wanted to and Hermione trying to hard to stay awake to speak.

After about an hour Hermione had unwillingly fallen asleep, her nightmares were all the same, the dead, deformed faces of her parents mocking her, insulting her, making her relive the pain of when she first woke that fateful day.

Remus looked up from his book when he heard Hermione's whimper. Her face was contorted in pain. She started whispering,

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean."

Then she started thrashing about, lashing out at invisible hands that poked her, covering her face. Remus leant over and shook Hermione.

"Hermione, wake up," he said. Hermione suddenly awoke, looking into Remus' eyes. Remus could see the pain Hermione tried to hide. Hermione looking into the warm eyes that Remus possessed burst into tears and flung her arms around him. Remus was surprised to say the least however moved Hermione and himself into a more comfortable position and rubbed her back to calm her down.

"I killed them Remus, I killed them,"

"Shhhhh, killed who Hermione?"

"My parents."

(Now I thought I might be evil and leave it here, but I'm not that mean )

"Please don't hate me," whimpered Hermione as she buried her face into Remus' shirt.

"Hermione, I wouldn't, couldn't hate you. But you've got to tell me what happened. It's obviously eating you up inside."

Hermione sobbed and looked up at Remus.

"You'll hate me if I do."

"Hermione, I won't hate you," Remus said patiently.

"You'll think I'm a monster."

"Hermione," Remus said pointedly.

Hermione swallowed a sob and then began.

"When I first was taken. I was tortured with the Cruciatus curse and other physical torture."

"Hermione," Remus interrupted, "they didn't…ah…"

Hermione realised what Remus was trying to say, "No, they didn't rape, just beat me."

Remus sighed with relief, at least they didn't take that away from his Hermione, wait…his Hermione? Where did that come from? Remus inwardly shook himself and continued listening to Hermione's story, trying to concentrate on her words not her lips.

"Then Lucius brought this man in. He was evil and dangerous, I could feel it. I was bitten the next night. I went though another month of torture when my parent were thrown in. I realised it was the full moon. I screamed at the Death Eaters. Lucius performed the Cruciatus curse on me but lifted it before I passed out. I tried to restrain myself…I swear I did Remus."

"I know you would have Hermione," soothed Remus, stroking Hermione's hair.

"I remember pain,"

"The transformation is painful," said Remus.

Hermione nodded, "then nothing. I woke up, feeling cold and sticky, then saw my parents' bodies. I don't really remember anything else."

"When Bill and I entered you were cradling your parents. You fought to stay next to them but passed out."

"The nightmares are of my parents. Their dead bodies are poking me and pulling me. Telling me it's my fault over and over again that they are dead," whispered Hermione.

"It's not your fault. Hermione, you know the research, warewolves don't recognise people close to them. You didn't have wolfsbane so you were not in control. The only ones to blame are the Death Eaters and Voldemort," said Remus.

"But I should have done more. Warned them or something!"

"Even if you had Hermione, it would have still happened."

Hermione looked up into Remus' eyes. She reached a hand up to brush his cheek.

"I didn't know you had flecks of amber in your eyes."

Remus nodded, he didn't trust himself to speak. Hermione noticed what she had done with her hand and quickly withdrew it blushing with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm just not used to being touched like that," Remus said finding his voice.

"Really? I would have thought that you would have plenty of admirers."

Remus was torn now, he was relived that Hermione had perked up a little but wasn't sure if he wanted to discuss his love life…or lack of a love life with her.

"Ah…no."

Hermione giggled slightly, then lay her head back down on Remus' chest, trying to time her breathing with his.

"Please don't leave me alone if I fall asleep," she murmured sleepily.

"I won't leave if you don't want me to," Remus replied.

"I don't want you to leave me."

Hermione's breathing became steady as she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Awwww, sugaryness…wah! I need to clean my teeth after that much sugar. I know I'm moving slowly but I want the relationship to gradually build up. Not be like Wham! Bam! Thank you mam. So please stick with me I promise they will eventually get together. Review please. No flames!