Mint On The Pillow
Part Eleven - Unfinished Business
Miss Parker's mind was a whirl of feelings and anxieties as she hurried into the Psychiatric Ward reception area.
"Can I help you, ma'am?" Parker was snapped out of her preoccupation by Nurse Wight's crisp tone, "Visiting hours don't actually start 'till 9.30..."
"There's a man here - Jarod, he's, err, in a coma...?" Parker kept it vague, as she had no idea what story Sydney had told the nurse.
"Oh, yeah, the doctor said there were relatives coming in... so, you'd be his...?"
Miss Parker floundered for an answer to that.
"...Wife? Girlfriend?" The nurse prompted.
"Something like that. Look, can I see him? I need to see him."
Of course it was against the rules to allow visitors before time, but then, the man shouldn't even be in her ward in the first place. The comatose patient was certainly at death's door, and there was no way Erin was going to be the one who kept someone from saying a last goodbye to their lover. She smiled gently and beckoned the woman to follow her along the corridor to room twelve. At the door, she turned to the lady.
"Go on honey. Let him hear your voice."
Parker nodded her thanks and stepped into the dim room.
- - - - - - - - - -
Sydney was not a person who usually felt stressed; that was more Miss Parker's department, but if anything was going to give him a stomach ulcer it was this: right now, standing helpless out in the corridor waiting to see if his ruse to throw Raines off Jarod's scent had worked, and at the same time wondering if Jarod was still alive to benefit from it.
He could only pray that Miss Parker was up to the task. She could hold her own in most matters of her job, but matters of the heart were a distinct weakness for her. Having stifled her feelings for so long, would she now be able to open up to Jarod, to give him that vital reason to fight his way back to life?
His anxious speculation was interrupted as Lyle stepped out of the waiting room, glaring with undisguised hatred at Sydney. Brigitte's look was equally sour, and Raines, the last to emerge, fixed his fellow scientist with a contemptuous glare.
"Two opportunities to catch Jarod in the same place and you failed at both. This is a new record, Sydney. Rest assured, the Tower will be notified of this latest incompetence."
Sydney made no attempt to dispute the reprimand. "Do you think the students know anything more that could help us track him?"
"They're useless, like everything else here," Lyle moaned angrily. He looked up and down the corridor, "Where's Miss Parker?"
"She was sick of waiting," Sydney replied delicately, "She went back to the guesthouse Jarod stayed at looking for clues--"
"Your never-ending search for clues, for those damn red books, is probably what's keeping you from catching him! Did you ever think he's probably misdirecting you on purpose?" Lyle snapped.
"Jarod is a creature of habit, Lyle. You forget that I raised him, and his journals have been the only constant in his life outside the Centre. He leaves them behind to keep me close--"
"Very touching," Raines cut him off, glowering scornfully, "But this connection will fade over time, and if Jarod disappears for good it's likely you will too."
Raines left the threat hanging and marched away, Brigitte and Lyle following. Sydney heard Raines bark at his aide to go ahead and ready the jet.
Sydney waited till they were completely out of sight, releasing his breath at last. He looked into the waiting room to see Suzie and Karl waiting there nervously, and beckoned them out with a smile of reassurance.
"I'm afraid to ask...?" Karl began as he stepped out.
"They believed you. They've returned to the Centre."
The students sighed their relief together.
"Thank you both for your help. Jarod owes you his life, and so do Miss Parker and I most likely. But we need to get upstairs at once: he isn't out of danger yet."
- - - - - - - - - -
Miss Parker stood in the corner of the murky little room, arms folded. She had paced round Jarod's bed about ten times already, trying to begin the impossibly one-sided conversation. After several false-starts, usually involving some sarcastic quip in keeping with their usual banter, she was suddenly struck by the stupidity of trying to argue with an unconsciousness person. Somehow there was just no point in speaking if he couldn't reply; it was like fencing without an opponent.
Damn it! This would be so much easier if he would just wake up, give her one of those taunting smiles which made her blood boil with frustration...
"You make me so angry I could scream, Jarod!" she hissed at him from her corner. "I chase you all over the damn country, miss you by inches every time, and yet now here you are..."
She stepped over to him, looking at his face, cuts on his cheeks and chin, bandages round his head and on his arms, "...And still you've beaten me! God knows how you do it, but you always win, don't you?" She gestured emphatically around at the heart-monitor beside him and the crash-cart at the ready on the other side of the room like he could see her, "This isn't playing fair, Jarod. How can I compete with this?"
She paced back towards the door, feeling the lump in her throat grow, unsure whether she was upset or simply furious. It didn't matter. Sydney had always counselled her to voice her feelings, not keep them bottled up as she always had done, but until now there had always been a degree of decorum to maintain, even, and especially, with Jarod. But for once he couldn't answer back, couldn't judge her. As long as he was gonna lie here and take it, she was going to let loose her pent up frustrations.
"Why couldn't we just leave it like it was before? You run, I chase... I wouldn't have thought twice about dragging your ass back to the Centre right now. Suddenly we have this--" she didn't even know what to call it, "This thing between us."
Her mind flew back once again to ten days ago, to the night and the morning that had changed her life. She threw up her hands in utter frustration. "God! I hate feeling like this! You remember when you told me my worst fear was being out of control? As much as I hate to admit it, you were right, Jarod. I don't know how to behave anymore. When I woke up and you were gone, I was so angry I could've killed you! I thought you of all people would never hurt me."
She looked back at him lying there, and again her breath caught in her throat as she tried to stifle the threatening storm of tears. She breathed deep and sat down in the hard plastic chair by the bed, placing a hand tentatively on his chest.
"Maybe I deserved it, huh? How could you trust that I would let you go, even after we-- You always have an escape route. Maybe I should get into the habit too. Raines is probably on his way up right now and we'll wind up in adjacent cells back at the Centre."
Jarod did not seem at all concerned by the prospect of capture, Parker noted. There was not even a flicker of recognition in him. Sydney had been so adamant that she could save him... once again the shrink gave her more credit than she deserved. She was no miracle-worker. Hell, her pessimistic ranting would probably push him further into the dark.
She thought of his many late-night phone calls over the years, how his words always touched a nerve, told her something about herself she didn't want to hear and encouraged her to change. Just like Sydney, Jarod never gave up on her, never stopped trying to reach the little girl he knew.
She reached up to brush an errant strand of dark hair away from his closed eyes. "I suppose I forgive you for not calling me, but we will have strong words about the handcuffs when you wake up," she tried to smile, to joke when all she felt was a suffocating sorrow.
"But you do have to wake up! Please, Jarod. You have to do this. You know Sydney would be an absolute wreck if you died; he's practically your father and I know he loves you. Then there's all those plebs out there you seem moved to help. Who would the pathetic and downtrodden turn to if not you?"
She wiped a hand across her eyes, suddenly, alarmingly, realising that she had started crying. "And you have to come back for me. Like it or not you're the only reason I get up in the morning: to chase you. What would I do if I didn't have that? I need a purpose, Jarod, and you're it. I..." She was afraid, so very afraid to say it. Everyone she had said those three words to had died. But right now she knew that it had to be said, that Jarod would come back from the brink for no less.
"I need you, damn it. Jarod, I love you." She laid her head down on his chest, sobbing out the painful truth over and over.
- - - - - - - - - -
In the elevator trip up to the Psychiatric Ward, Sydney had told Karl and Suzie of that sim so many years ago, and the revelation it had prompted last night.
The three of them strode quickly past the Reception desk, nodding a greeting to Nurse Wight.
"We saw Miss Parker when she was young," Karl mentioned, "Her mother's murder really drove her into a shell. Do you think she'll be able to break it?"
They came to room twelve, and looked in.
"It looks like it," Sydney breathed, smiling with relief as he saw the moving scene within.
- - - - - - - - - -
Miss Parker's tears dampened the sheet as she buried her face into his chest. With the admission of her feelings had come a clarity she had never felt before: she simply knew that Jarod was the one person in the whole world that could breach her cynicism, her anger at the world, and make her feel human again. He had the patience and the optimism to see the woman she might have been if her mother had not died, if she had not been poisoned by the Centre.
And now she cried with the knowledge that this person, this saviour, was gone from her life. She remembered every touch he had ever given her, especially the most recent... just ten days ago she had been in his arms, listening to his smooth deep voice assuring her that everything would be okay, that he loved her, too.
A whisper of a touch on her hair... it must have been the wind, or the memory of his tenderness.
The gentlest caress... just her imagination, her heart refusing to let go.
"I love you," a breath on her neck. She looked up to his face. Jarod's bright brown eyes looked back.
"Oh my god!" she gasped.
"No, Miss Parker, it's just me." His smile, though weak, lit up the dim room. No answering quip, no rebuttal... she could only sob once more.
"I thought--" she began breathlessly.
Again his hand came up to her hair, moved to cup her cheek.
"Shhhhh. You think too much."
She moved in to kiss his contented smile, tenderly, desperately. He was awake, he came back... for her.
- - - - - - - - - -
Sydney watched, tears of joy brimming in his own eyes as they kissed. It had been a long time coming, and there had been times Sydney believed that not even Jarod could save Miss Parker from her own despair. But in the end, she had saved him.
After a decent interval, he knocked politely and entered.
"Hello Sydney," Jarod croaked.
"Welcome back, Jarod," the scientist smiled. Miss Parker turned to him, suddenly anxious.
"Raines--" she began. Sydney held up his hands in a calming gesture.
"He's gone. His belief in our incompetence has grown, but that's all."
The door swished slowly open and Karl and Suzie stepped in.
"Professor!" They exclaimed with relief, and ran over to clasp his hand in turn. Jarod nodded his thanks to the students.
Sydney coughed delicately and stepped over to Miss Parker.
"We should return to the Centre quickly. They're already suspicious enough as it is…"
Miss Parker looked back into Jarod's eyes, and he nodded his agreement. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Go." He squeezed her hand gently and then released it. He looked to Sydney.
"I'll get better, I'll… take my time." Sydney smiled again. He reached down to place a hand on Jarod's forehead, just as he had done when the Pretender was a boy. Knowing there was nothing to be said that Jarod hadn't already heard, he turned away and strode quietly out of the room. Miss Parker leant in for a last, gentle kiss, strangely uncaring that Karl and Suzie were there to witness this softness in her character.
As she got up to leave, Karl winked at her. "We'll look after him, Miss Parker. The chase will be on again in no time."
At the door, she turned. "I can't wait."
End of Part Eleven