Disclaimer: Own none of the Princess Diaries characters, blah blah blah... just enjoying myself!

Author's Note: Has Clarisse stumbled into phone sex?

Mixed Signals
by Posh & Stoneygem

Part 24

Kissing in the backseat of a car had something magical, she thought. With a blush, she had to admit, that making love in the backseat of a car was extremely exciting. She still couldn't believe they had done just that mere weeks before, it still sent a rush over her.

Outside the window her beautiful Genovia was gliding by. The hills were green, sprinkled with the yellow dots of the wild flowers, the trees sprucing bright green leaves, the cherry trees in full bloom.

A song came unbidden into her mind and she found herself humming along. May, a lusty month indeed. Joseph and she had certainly made use of it.

The thought of her husband darkened her mood immediately. With a sigh, Clarisse threw a look at the seat beside her. The empty seat beside her.

Yet at the same time, a warm feeling spread through her body. She missed him so much already. They had parted at the airport less than four hours ago, but she felt as if it had been weeks already.

She had never imagined herself being one for emotional goodbye-scenes. Nevertheless, the picture they had given interested onlookers in Vienna airport certainly must have looked like it. Waiting until the last minute for her to go through the security check to board her plane, because they couldn't leave each other's arms. Clarisse sighed. If she really tried she could still feel his arms holding her in a tight embrace, his hands moving tenderly over her back and arms, his lips kissing her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks and her mouth. She had been so unwilling to leave his embrace.

It was a hard battle and the idea of postponing her return and actually accompany him to Sweden had more than once almost won out. In the end, it was him who reminded her that she had to go. Reluctantly, they had parted, sharing one last kiss…

And then another.

And another.

Finally, the young flight attendant had cleared her throat next to them and with an apologizing smile reminded them that she needed to board. They might have parted physically, with great reluctance, but their eyes stayed locked until a solid wall obscured their sight.

Almost disappearing in her seat, she had kept her face firmly turned towards the window, so that nobody would see the tears slipping down her cheeks. Even now, she felt them burning in her throat. God, she missed him so much already. How would she be able to get through this night, alone again in their bed?

Thankfully, Shades had not said anything upon the fact that she returned alone. She was confident though that he had not only registered but connected the dots. Wrongly. Her marriage was not floundering even more, her husband was merely delayed by an unexpected business meeting.

Still, he hadn't asked and she didn't supply the information. Shall they believe what they want. She would not be able to convince them without Joseph by her side and he would not be home until Monday.

Suddenly, she felt an irrepressible urge to be near to him, to feel his arms around her, his breath on her skin and his voice in her ear. With a sigh, Clarisse once again shifted in the seat and kept her gaze locked onto the woods rolling by outside. Today she would have nothing of this, he had yet to arrive in Stockholm and then would be deep in meetings that would have him tied up until late in the evening. Hopefully, he would at least have a chance to place the short phone call to say "Good Night." to her.

"Your Majesty, we will reach the palace in two minutes." Shades said over his shoulders. His was quite glad that the trip would be over soon. The ride had been more than uncomfortable from the beginning. They could at least have warned him that she would be returning alone.

After the surprising impromptu trip to Vienna, he had all but expected the couple to come back together, the privacy screen up and a few unarticulated groans from the backseat. Rolling his eyes, Shades thought better of it. Definitely no groans…

The heavy limousine stopped at the winding stairs leading directly to the ballroom and before Shades could jump out, a guard had approached and opened the rear door.

The young queen came rushing down the stairs, having still not learned the 'hastening'-rule. "Grandma! Grandma!"

Clarisse carefully stepped out of the car and then embraced her granddaughter tightly. It had taken her a long time to feel comfortable doing this, but now she was glad to be able to hug her granddaughter. Despite all the happiness she had felt alone with Joseph, she still had missed the young woman.

With Mia's arm around her waist, Clarisse happily started to ascend the stairs. There was almost nothing like home. Stepping inside the palace, she was happy to note the slight coolness inside. The temperatures in Genovia had apparently risen over the last few days.

Mia's excited chatter kept her entertained on the way to her suite. Without it, Clarisse was positive it would have been a dreary road. She could still not imagine coming home and not finding him there, not having him with her.

"Where is Joe, by the way, grandma? Didn't the conference go well?" Mia's inquiry shook her out of her musings.

"No, no, it went very well. He was, how would you say? Cool."

The young queen giggled at her grandmother's use of jargon. It sounded so funny coming from this refined woman.

Clarisse grinned mischievously as well. "He was very impressive. Those people didn't know what was happening to them. They were practically eating out of his hand."

Mia's grin broadened. "That sounds as if he was really good."

"Yes," Clarisse's face took on a dreamy expression and her voice turned tender, "I was, no, I am very proud of him. I never thought that this was what he should have been doing for years. He has so many ideas and he makes them see the reason behind it. He mediates the conflicts as if he has been doing it for years. It was so incredible to watch him, Mia. I always knew that there was so much more to this man than he let on, but I never knew how much."

The young woman had become quiet and serious during those words. "You really love him, don't you grandma?"

Clarisse stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to face her heir. "Yes, Mia. Actually, love doesn't come close to what I feel for Joseph. But yes, I love him and I am very proud of him."

Mia nodded. "So, where is he?" she asked suddenly, as if to dispel the gloomy mood.

Her grandmother's face turned wistful. "In Sweden." She said with an air of dejection.

"What's he doing there?"

"Apparently, some official managed to make rather a blunder over some agreement they had reached with the Swedish government, when Joseph was on that meeting in Brussels. He had to go and calm down boiling tempers. He'll be home on Monday."

"Bugger. So, he'll not be here to go with you to the party tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid not."

"I'm so sorry grandma."

Clarisse smiled tremulously. "Me too."

They had reached the doors to Clarisse's suite by then. As the footmen opened the doors, Mia made her excuse. "I'll leave you alone so you can rest a bit, besides I think Charlotte has probably placed a pile of letters on my desk. I'll…"

Her words were interrupted by Charlotte clearing her throat. "Your Majesty, there are no letters yet, but Lord Jerome is waiting for you."

"Did we have an appointment scheduled for today?"

"Yes, your Majesty."

Then the aide bowed to her former monarch. "Welcome home, Your Highness. Did you have a pleasant flight?"

Clarisse smiled gently at her former aide. Charlotte was not only not good at lying, but she was not very good at disguising her concern. Surely she must have heard already that Clarisse had come home alone and was worried to see in what state this would have left the former queen.

"It was uneventful, thank you. Did my husband call already?"

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. "Erm…no," she stammered, "not yet, your highness."

Clarisse checked her watch. "Yes, you are right. He's probably just landed in Stockholm. I believe, I'm just impatient."

"Very well, your highness." The younger employee bowed out, leaving with Mia, but not before Clarisse saw a look exchanged between them that left her wondering if they knew something she didn't.

Closing the doors behind her, Clarisse noted quite gratefully that neither of her ladies' maids were in the suite. She really needed some time to herself. Priscilla and Olivia could unpack her suitcases later. She wouldn't need any of the clothes now. Crossing through the parlour to their bedroom, she tiredly ran a hand over her face. As beautiful as those last days had been, they had exhausted her. Then their sad goodbye at the airport and the flight back, it had tired her. Maybe she could take a nap until somebody had the idea that her presence was needed.

When she opened the door to their bedroom, revealing the inside to her view, she felt as if the breath had been forcefully removed from her lungs. Her limbs wouldn't function, neither would her brain. She could not believe what she saw.

"Joseph…" his name was merely a breath on her lips. "Oh my darling…"

They were everywhere. Dozens of bouquets of all sizes and colours were placed around the bedroom. Red, pink, yellow, white, orange and mauve. It was breathtaking, just like their scent. Yet, Clarisse's gaze was inevitably drawn to the bed. It was completely covered with rose petals.

The scent was overwhelming and almost involuntarily she moved forward, shaking her head in disbelief. Oh what a sweet and wonderful man her husband was. How thoughtful and inventive. How incredible and loving. How she loved him.

She found the card, half hidden under the petals as she ran her hand over them, delighting in the softness of them.

"Since, I cannot be there to bathe you in my love, my darling, I wanted you to bathe in something that you love so much. I will count the minutes until I can feel what those petals will feel now, – the utter sweetness of you."

She couldn't help it. Reading those words, the tears came and this time she did nothing to stop them.

It took her only a few seconds to strip off her clothes. Then Clarisse carefully climbed onto the bed, mindful not to crush too many of the delicate leaves. With a sigh she lowered herself onto the mattress, happily inhaling the scent. Closing her eyes, exhaustion quickly claimed her and whispering her husband's name, she quickly drifted off to sleep.

She was dreaming. Dreaming of a warm summer day upon a cliff overlooking the ocean. The waves were crashing against the rocks, but up here they only made the sound of a gentle rolling. The wind was ruffling her hair and the sun blinding her eyes, but she didn't see, didn't feel any of this. The only thing she could focus on was his warmth, the strength of his arms around her waist, his delightful hard body pressed against her back. The words he whispered in her ear. She leant closer against him, turning her head slightly so that she could tell…

All of a sudden, there was a ringing in her ear. It didn't fit in her fantasy and it annoyed her. There was no need for a telephone in her dream. The ringing came again and again. With a groan of annoyance, Clarisse opened her eyes and clumsily searched for the origin of the offending noise. Finally her hand encountered the telephone and picking up the receiver, the ringing finally stopped.

Groggily, Clarisse put the receiver close to her ear. "Yes?"

"Hello…" a deep voice came across the line. "How are you my darling?"

The voice gave her a jolt and she already felt a smile spreading over her face, despite her numbness. Trying to raise herself up, she mumbled drowsily: "Sleepy..."

"Hmm, you sound wonderful..." he paused resting back on the couch, kicking off his shoes. "You sound, warm, and comfortable... I can just visualise you."

Her eyes were still heavy and she gave up on trying to raise herself into a sitting position, but instead turned around to lie on her back. Stretching she asked half-teasing, half-tired "What do you see me doing then?"

He chuckled lightly closing his eyes. "You're lying in bed, snuggled up… ohhh did you like the gift my dear?"

By now she was actually fully awake. The sound of his voice was like a warming blanket in the slightly chilly room. With surprise she realized that it was dark outside already. Without the sun to shine through the windows the high-ceilinged room had become quite cold and the slightly damp...rose petals...Gods, rose petals... did not help against the chill. Making a grab for the end of the comforter, Clarisse pulled it halfway over her body, thus bathing in the rose petals for real. A coy smile crossed her face at the feel of the soft leaves. "Gift, my darling? You haven given me a gift? Anything I should know about?"

"You know very well what I'm talking about you tease…" he sighed deeply. "Your voice sounds so good, I've missed you," he laughed. "we've only been apart for a few hours and I've missed you. I want to touch you." He added as an afterthought loosening his tie and throwing it to the coffee table.

"Oh Joseph, I want to touch you too."

He smiled, at the sound of her voice, husky, sleepy, clouded with emotion. "Mmm, tell me what you're wearing, and where exactly you are, I want to imagine you."

A wide grin spread over her face. "Imagine me? My, my Sir Joseph are you planning to entertain improper thoughts about your queen?" she asked in a mock-stern voice.

He laughed stretching out on the couch. "It's not improper my darling, it's highly proper... you're my wife." He twisted his body getting comfortable, kicking his socks off. "My wife is utterly divine, and I want to go to bed tonight with the image of you... lying in our bed, smelling so good, feeling soooo good."

He heard her giggle, her muffled response. "What? Surely you aren't embarrassed my dear Clarisse."

Giggling Clarisse drew patterns through the rose petals beside her contemplating an answer. Oh, she wanted to give him a proper image to go to bed with. Though 'proper' might not have been the most fitting word. "Well, I can tell you, my good sir that I don't need to go to bed anymore. I am there already."

"Ohhh you are," his eyes shot open. "Well then, perhaps I should be there too." He reached for his whisky glass and took a sip. "I wish I were there too, what are you wearing? If that's not too personal a question of course your majesty…" He drawled the last word out, teasing her.

Her grin turned wider. "You have claimed to be my husband, so it should be a question you might be allowed to ask." When he didn't respond, she frowned. "Joseph? What is it?"

He groaned. "You're too much… I miss you too much." He turned on the couch burying his face in the pillow then taking a deep breath. "I miss hearing your voice, burying my face in your hair at night."

He was silent for a while; they both were, just listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Then he closed his eyes again and said gently "Whatever you're wearing take it off."

"Who says I'm still wearing anything?"

"Oh don't do that to me." He swallowed clumsily reaching for his glass again and spilling a little. "I want you too badly."

She drew a deep breath at the timbre of his voice. "Oh, I want you too, my love. But two can play that game. If I take off what I am still wearing then you need to do that too."

He coughed raising himself a little on the couch. "Alright, then I'll take off my shirt. It is getting rather warm in here…"

"Yes, please." was her husky reply. Swallowing convulsively, she closed her eyes, half frightened half delighted by the image of him taking his shirt off. Of his bare chest. The itch in her fingers to run her hands over it, to feel the skin and those well-defined muscles ripple under her touch.

He held the phone in one hand as he unbuttoned his shirt and lifted it over his head tossing it to the floor. "Okay, then the shirt is off…" he breathed deeply settling back down. He heard her sharp intake of breath, imagined her lying in bed cradling the receiver to her ear.

This desire became stronger and stronger, almost overwhelming her and she croaked into the phone: "But the shirt is not enough, love. You are still overdressed."

He smiled licking his lips. "Clarisse my love, have you ever done this before?"

"Done what?" came her innocent reply.

He smiled settling back on the couch, she really was so endearingly innocent at times. Alright, so she hadn't done this, he could tell in her voice, he didn't really expect her too. "Nothing..." he said gently. "Nothing. Just sharing like this, being comfortable enough with each other to do this." He shook his head to dispel the heady moment. "So... how was your day?" He asked simply.

She closed her eyes and smiled. He was endearingly protective giving her a way out before she did something she would certainly be embarrassed about later. It was true, she probably would be. What had she done to deserve…

His cough brought her back and her smile became even wider. "Oh, my day started out quite lovely. I woke up in the arms of a wonderful man and we made love just as the sun came peeking onto our bed. It was wonderful, but then the day deteriorated I'm afraid. My wonderful man and I had to part at the airport in a faraway town, yet I didn't want to let him go. Still, I had to. Then I had a quiet flight, which I spent alternately missing this wonderful man and dreaming of him. Then I arrived here and my day became better again, because my wonderful man had the most wonderful surprise prepared for me."

She took a deep breath. "Thank you my love. The roses are so beautiful. I love my surprise. I can't tell you, how much."

He laughed. "Well I'm certainly glad you had this wonderful man to keep you happy… waking in his arms, making love to him in the morning, surprise gifts… sounds like perfection to me." He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and began to pace around the room, stopping in front of the large mirror above the fireplace and staring at his face. He looked tired.

"Yes, he is perfection to me. We are perfection. I miss him though. Gifts cannot compete with the reality of him holding me." She sighed

"If you start that again we won't ever get to sleep tonight." He placed his hand on the fireplace and twisted his wedding ring with his thumb. "God I love you Clarisse," his voice was rich and warm as he closed his eyes. "You have no idea…" his voice faded away and for a few seconds he listened to the sound of her breathing on the other end of the phone.

The tenderness which overcame her made her heart swell. "Oh, I have a very good idea, Joseph. I do have an idea. And I love you too." Turning onto her side, so she could run her free hand over his side of the bed, she suddenly became anxious. "Joseph, how much longer do you have to stay? I miss you so." She paused again. "And you sound tired. Are there problems?"

"No," he said earnestly. "No there are no problems. I miss you too… say you love me again."

She giggled. "I love you."

"And again."

"Joseph…" she sighed.

"Okay, well are you prepared for tomorrow, do you have a 'killer' outfit planned? Ready to stun everybody there with your beauty."

Even through the phone he could hear her blush. "Joseph... I really don't think, I…"

"Oh but you do, my love." He smiled. "You always do. Whenever I think you couldn't be any more beautiful, you prove me wrong again. So," he tried to lighten her embarrassment, "do you have a 'killer' outfit ready?"

This time, she smiled as well. "Of course not. Can't you see the headlines? 'Dowager Queen kills party guests through dress choice' the press would love it."

"They would certainly." He chuckled. The idea was too funny, even more so since it had come from Clarisse.

"No, I think, I will wear something rather casual. Not too ostentatious. It is going to be a garden party. They requested to forgo evening wear and dress according to the weather. I think, I'll go for it. Besides," she paused momentarily, "Mia should shine the brightest. She is queen now."

"Yes she is, but you'll always be the first to catch my eye. I wish I could be there…" He sighed rubbing his forehead. "It's getting late my love, have you eaten?"

"Eaten? Eaten? Erm…no, not since the plane and not very much then." She scrunched her face in a slight grimace. That was the downside of using a normal flight. Plane food. However, his question stopped her cold. She had not even registered that she had more or less skipped lunch, then tea and finally dinner. "And after arriving here, I have forgotten." She blushed embarrassedly.

"Forgotten, conveniently." He laughed. "Actually I can't berate you too badly, I haven't had time either. And whisky on an empty stomach… I'm exhausted."

For a second she had to chuckle. "Whisky on an empty stomach, you should know better." Then she became serious. "I slept all afternoon. I came in and just fell asleep on those beautiful rose petals. And," again she blushed, "I dreamt of you."

"Flatterer… I'm sure I'll be doing the same, though I have a few notes to go through before bed." He padded barefoot across the lounge towards the bathroom. "I was going to take a bath but compared to the luxurious one we shared… well let's just say I'd be let down."

Moving back across the room he fell down onto the bed. "I might just shower, climb into bed & work there then try and sleep."

"And eat?" She said gently.

"Perhaps… perhaps I'll order tea and crumpets."

She giggled. "That sounds nice."

"And eat in bed as I work."

"Even better." She yawned then covered her mouth.

"You're still tired?"

"Must be the flying… I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm exhausted too. I don't want to stop talking to you though darling."

"Oh Joseph, I want to talk to you too. All night, if I could. Though I would fall asleep on you at some point, I'm afraid."

He chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone. "Or I on you. Not my idea of a perfect night with you, my darling."

She sighed. "No, not perfect."

There was a long pause, during which they listened to each other's breathing. Knowing that she should end the call, yet unwilling to break the contact.

Finally, Clarisse heaved another sigh. "Come home to me soon, my love. I miss you."

"I miss you too, enjoy tomorrow, I'll call you…"

"I'll try…"

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight." She breathed.

He held the phone close to his face closing his eyes. "Goodnight."

She smiled. "Goodnight Joseph."

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