Ehards29: What up homies? Ed/Pete angsty, one-shot time. Enjoy!
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Sin and Peace
There were times when he was reminded of his sins. There was no real rhyme or reason to it, there were just fleeting moments that passed as quickly as a cold winter's gust, as quickly as a the feeling of the witch's swipe upon his cheek. He was safe now, it was all in the past, but there were times at night, when he was accompanied by nothing more than the shadows the moon graced his chamber with, that he would wake in a cold sweat, his feet frozen with the feeling of metal chains, his heart heavy with the feeling of grief.
So many meals he would revel in the wondrous taste of fish, sweet smashed potatoes and the finest Narnian wine. But there were times when all these grand foods tasted of Turkish Delights, and now matter how his taste buds fought, his heart could not be fooled. He would excuse himself, and running far from his siblings watchful eyes, would purge his stomach of the horrid taste.
So many times he would watch with awe and admiration as Peter commanded the respect of his Narnian subjects, as he waltz with grace with that many ladies of the court, when he closed his eyes, burying himself deep in thought before making any decision. But there were times when the shine of Peter's great golden crown reminded him of the sun shining in Peter's azure orbs that day he was returned to Aslan's camp. Those azure eyes that toyed with forgiving his brother for being a traitor, a sinner.
When the sky grew dark, he saw her vapid eyes. When Lucy cried, he saw the frozen figure of the faun Tumnus, his face frozen in an eternal grimace of pain. When he grew angry, he was remind of his hatred, his longing, so powerful it nearly made him a murderer. When his skin accidentally brushed against the silk of the drapes of the library, he was reminded of the softness of her fur shawl.
God, how he hated himself, how bitter the realization of his past was! How awful it was to remember her sweet promises, him standing proudly next to the Queen of Narnia, his crown tall and erect as Peter shinned his shoes.
So many times, Edumnd would walk the halls of the Cair alone in the dim hours of the morn. So many times his mind fought for a method to this madness, and so many times his heart would respond that he deserved to suffer. So many times, the great Castle of the Four Thrones would be empty; their walls would hear no gossip, its air stagnant. But this morning a golden haired boy waits for his brother. And as Peter hold Edmund close, his strong arms like an all powerful shield, Edmund can smell the salt of sea, and he is not reminded of the salt of his tears. He can smell the sweat perfume of Narnian blooms and not be reminded of the tree spirits who told of Aslan's death for his sins. So many times he would flee from his brother's embrace, but not this morning. This morning he is learning from his mistakes, he is accepting his past; he is repenting for his sins. And as Edmund's tears stain his brother's tunic, he has found peace at last.
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