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Author's Note:Time to meet the inlaws
Mixed Signals - part 29
Late June was a haze of long hot days and heady summer evenings. Joseph had cleared his calendar for the summer and now spent the majority of his days enjoying the freedom that came with his new life. He took himself off into the extensive grounds, whether it be horse riding or simply a long walk. Settled down by the river and painted whatever captured his imagination. Sometimes Clarisse would join him but she was renowned for being an incredibly bad artist and usually gave up with her efforts and simply relaxed in the sunshine reading.
He'd also given up much of his time to assisting Anna in the planning of her upcoming wedding. Well his role had been minor in the grand scheme of things but still somehow he felt he was helping by easily sorting out the flights and hotels for the guests. It would be good to see Anna's father Jorge again, they'd been inseparable friends whilst at school, along with Jorge's wife Carmen, who just happened to be Joe's second cousin. There was a time he longed for those school days when he was travelling the world alone, he would call them, write, send postcards. Yet somehow when their children came along he felt out of the loop, he supposed somehow he'd felt like that his entire life until he met Clarisse. As if he would never be part of a family, never meet somebody with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life like Jorge had.
Things appeared to have come full circle now though. He had that commitment and belonging, his everything. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror as he straightened his tie; this was going to be a good day. Watching his goddaughter marry was a moment of joy and having his wife by his side to share it with him was only going to bring more joy. It was time Clarisse met his friends, time she became part of his entire life.
"What are you thinking about?"
He turned at the sound of her voice; she was leant on the doorframe between the dressing room and the bedroom.
"You're smiling to yourself, what's on your mind?"
"Just happy, incredibly happy." His smile widened. "You look very beautiful. That dress, the colour is perfect on you." He stepped towards her.
"Not too much for today? I don't wish to stand out."
"Honey you'd stand out if you were wearing black in the darkest night." He kissed her lightly on the forehead.
She reached up to his tie and fiddled with the knot he had just tied.
"I just did that." He said stroking her chin with his index finger.
"I know but I like to." She kissed the tip of his finger. "You seem different this morning… just, well, a little different."
"I'm just strangely excited at the prospect of watching little Anna marry, and you meeting my family and friends."
"Hmm, I'm surprised they don't all hate me."
"What?" his voice sounded oddly stretched as he caught her hands. "Why on earth would they hate you?"
She shrugged. "A wedding where none of your friends are invited, we've been married almost a year and I haven't met them, not even a drink or an invite to stay here… and the mess with Anna."
"Hey only three people know about this and two of them are here. And they don't blame you for the impromptu wedding, they're happy for me; happy we finally found each other. This year has hardly been normal darling; we've been through a hell of a lot, what with my new job… they'll just be happy you're there today. I'm happy to have you with me today."
"Thank you." She lifted their entwined hands and kissed his fingers. "But we shall see how it goes…"
She moved past him to glance in the mirror. "You really think the dress will pass?" She had chosen a pale blue wraparound dress, the skirt loose and floaty, the colour a perfect accentuate of summer.
"Beautiful." He rested his hands on her shoulders and kissed her head. "Now please relax Clarisse, I want you to enjoy today not to spend it worrying, come on, you've attended more political events than I care to count, this is for enjoyment."
"I know, I know. I'll just get my scarf and I'm ready. This is an outdoor wedding right."
"It was, they had a last minute change, worried about Carmen's allergies playing up, personally I think exchanging vows by the river would be perfect."
"Hmm, indeed."
Swirling the wine in her glass Clarisse marvelled at the way the sunlight caught the crystal and cast rainbow like sparkles in the air. She took another sip of the rich liquid and glanced across the river. Joseph was right, exchanging vows here would have been perfect, it's a shame they didn't stick to their original plan, though she couldn't deny the ceremony was beautiful. Initially she had felt rather out of place, like everyone was staring at her but as the room filled the pointed stares began to disappear. She clung onto Joseph's hand for the first hour, then as she was introduced to more of his friends she began to relax.
They were warm, they were friendly, they welcomed her and she was exceptionally grateful for that. However the more she got to know about them and of them, the more time she spent in their company, the more guilty she felt about ignoring this part of Joseph's life for so long.
After dinner there had been several speeches, she had drunk too much wine and now needed the air. The space for a moment. She hadn't said anything to Joseph, simply slipped away when she had the chance. Now alone away from the other guests she had a chance to reflect on the day gone by.
It struck her as odd that despite everything she was still unable to look Anna in the eye, the last time she had been in the same room as the young lady she had ranted and raved about her husband having an affair. The memory still made her blush and she physically had to shake her head to clear the flood of embarrassment that swam into her stomach.
Deciding to walk a little Clarisse wandered around the side of the river until she reached the small bridge, she crossed to the middle and leant on the railing staring into the water. She lifted her head quickly when she heard voices approaching and was surprised to find the bride and groom heading towards her.
She watched as they stopped by the water edge and Adrian looped his arms around Anna's waist before kissing her lightly on the mouth. They looked so perfect together, so beautiful. It struck Clarisse that she was intruding observing this moment, perhaps the first quiet time that the newly married couple had managed to secure the entire day. Without reason she found herself crying, she turned her face away from the couple and back towards the water. It was the footsteps behind her that forced her to wipe her face dry a few moments later, heels clicking on the wooden bridge. She looked up slowly trying to bring her usual cool, calm demeanour into place.
"Hello, are you enjoying the view?" Anna's voice was rich, almost overflowing with joy as she approached Clarisse.
"Oh, I am, very much so. You look very beautiful my dear. The entire day has been beautiful. I'm not sure I told you congratulations."
"You did but thank you again." She leant on the railing next to Clarisse. "I'm a little overwhelmed."
"I can understand that, where is your husband?"
"Adrian has gone back inside, I just wanted a word with you."
"Oh?" She felt her body stiffen, her throat tighten.
"I know we didn't exactly meet under usual circumstances, I know it's awkward… for both of us, but I really don't want it to be. I love Joe to bits, he's always been so close to the family, so good to me."
"I know that, he told me that. Goodness, you're right this is awkward. I'm usually quite reserved and polite you know, not hurling abuse at strangers."
Anna laughed. "Yes, I know that, I've lived in Genovia for a number of years now, you're loved, and respected. I was so happy when Joe finally… well, that the two of you finally found your way."
"I wonder why we never met before, I've never really met any of his family." She shrugged. "It isn't right."
Anna stared at the older woman for a few moments mulling over just what information she should share with her. Deciding that it was time some walls were brought down she reached out and rested her hand over Clarisse's.
"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to talk to you about this or what Joe has said but you know over the years he always found it so difficult to merge his two lives. That he was in love with you seemed quite obvious to all of us about two years after he began working at the palace. He's always had girlfriends, odd relationships that always seemed to fizzle out. Everyone thought he was incapable of settling down, then it stopped altogether. No dates, no bringing women home to family occasions, we teased him at first. Then after ten years you kinda realise this isn't some silly crush, and then after all those years, all that time without a word, he marries you in a snap ceremony and we were shocked. All of us."
"I understand that, and I am sorry, I really never meant…"
"I know that, we all know that. It's been surreal, all this press interest all of sudden, all the negativity about Joe and then suddenly he's the toast of the town when his career takes a new direction. Who would have ever thought the dowager Queen would be attending my wedding. It's ridiculous, an odd reality." She took a breath awaiting Clarisse's reaction. "He loved you for so long, you know that."
"Yes, and I loved him. It has been so very difficult for both of us, and somehow I stupidly believed we would marry and all would be perfect, but of course it doesn't work that way. It doesn't help that we did rush the wedding, that we never had the chance to build up to it and plan it together, to invite you, Joseph's family. I somehow wish that I had the chance to go back and redo it."
"No, no, you have no reason to. We don't hold it against you, Clarisse, may I call you Clarisse?"
"Of course you can my dear, ohh… I'm really not such a dragon."
"You're lovely, really you are! Everyone likes you, they were all afraid you would be some stuck up aloof woman, you're not, you're actually quite normal."
This time Clarisse laughed. "I can be, at times."
"Come back inside and mingle, you're so good at it. Better at it than I am."
"Practice."
"I want you to be part of today, you make Joe deliriously happy, it's plain to see. I want the two of you together on my photos."
"Alright, I'll come back inside. Though your grandfather keeps dragging me onto the dance floor."
"Ha, I had noticed that. I'm sure Joe will save you, Adrian is a terrible dancer, I only discovered during rehearsals."
"Oh dear."
"I know, I must send him to Joe for lessons, help him to improve."
The two ladies linked arms and crossed the bridge heading back across the lawn to the party.
Joe guided the bride around the dance floor with the skill and elegance of a long practiced dancer. He was the perfect partner and easily the most popular there. He seemed to have been dancing non-stop all night, or at least it felt that way. Only twice had he managed to share a dance with the woman he really wanted to, and now he had decided he would spent the remaining hour or so of the celebration being partner to only his wife.
She was seated at the edge of the dance floor, a half empty glass of champagne in her hand, watching him walk towards her, smiling at him in that enigmatic way she had.
When he reached her he tilted his head down and kissed her smiling mouth.
"Hello darling." She whispered. "Are you going to dance with me now?"
"Only if you want me too."
"Oh all the time." She took a sip of her champagne before handing the glass to him.
He too took a drink before placing the glass on the table and offering her his hand. She accepted, and slowly stood, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor.
They no longer needed to think about how to hold each other, where to place their hands or move their feet, they fit together perfectly, united in rhythm and timing.
"I noticed you were talking to Jorge." He whispered next to her ear.
"I was indeed, he's very funny, he was sharing with me some of the activities the two of you used to get up to when you were little."
"Ahh, some of my misdemeanours."
"Absolutely, I rather enjoyed hearing about 'little Joe'. I bet he was cute."
He twirled her as he laughed. "Terribly cute."
"I'm sure, your children would be cute."
"Would have been cute my dear, too late now one believes."
She said nothing simply rested her head on his shoulder closing her eyes. "I sometimes wish… but then I don't regret my life, most of it."
"And you shouldn't, too old for regrets. Everything is as it should be."
"You would have made a wonderful father."
"Perhaps, but then I was a very selfish young man who thought solely of himself and his next adventure. I couldn't settle like Jorge." He moved his head slightly so he could see her face. "Until I met you."
Her arms tightened around him as they swayed in time with the music, some jazzy love song that she didn't recognise, but the tune was lovely.
"I'm so glad I have you, so lucky." She whispered. "And your friends are lovely, and your sister is wonderful, she has made me feel so welcome, all of them have."
"No longer so worried?"
She lifted her face to his. "No, no longer worried." She gently kissed his mouth not caring about who saw. "I don't believe I've ever been to such a wonderfully joyous wedding, most of them I attend are so stuffy."
"I know, I had to guard you at most of them."
"So you did." She smiled and straightened his tie as he held her waist and moved the two of them in time with the music as it changed. "You do realise we've almost been married a year."
"Almost."
"We should do something special."
"We will, our first anniversary, a solitary trip somewhere secluded, somewhere without a view so we don't have to leave our room."
She giggled. "Joseph…"
"Well, I think after the year we've had we deserve some fun now don't you think."
"Fun? Are we not too old for having fun?"
"Absolutely not, we should start chasing each other around the palace grounds and acting like children."
"Book ending your life hey… causing mayhem as a child and mayhem as a… gracefully aging gentleman."
"Politely put."
"Why thank you."
"I do love you Clarisse."
"And I love you, you have brought me such happiness."
"One anniversary down, many more to come…"
He must be exhausted after this day full of excitement and joy. Not to forget all the dancing he had to do. She was exhausted as well, but sleep eluded her.
Safely spooned in front of her husband, Clarisse found her unease not abating.
Joseph's friends and family had welcomed her in a friendly way – his sister Louisa, whom she had started to genuinely like, even with open arms – still, Clarisse could not shake this sense of… of…of what actually?
The full moonlight cast a silvery glow over half of the room, alighting it as if it were day. They had taken to keeping the drapes half open at night. Clarisse disliked it, Joseph wanted it. With a tender smile Clarisse snuggled deeper into her husband's embrace. Was there anything this man could ask of her and not get?
The thought made her pause. Yes, there was. Too many times. Even the smallest things.
Hence the fact that it had taken a year of marriage until she met his family. Hence the fact that it had taken months until she had even asked, what he was doing in his new job. Hence the fact that despite their more than public wedding, Joseph's family had found out just like millions of other people. From television.
It was not fair. Not to them and certainly not to Joseph. They deserved better. He deserved better….
Closing her eyes, the image of the riverside formed in Clarisse's mind. This particular spot would be etched into her memory forever it seemed. The sound of the gently gurgling water, the trees lining the meadow – forming a dark green background to the light green of the grass; the meadow itself covered with delicate flowers. The chirping birds flying around and filling the air. The entire area was literally summer.
It looked like summer, felt, smelt and sounded like it. It was the perfect spot for a wedding. The perfect…
It was too bad that Anna and Adrian had not made use of it. Anna…
The conversation they had had still stuck in Clarisse's mind with almost eerie clearness. Rarely had she dreaded a conversation as much as this one.
In a way, it had been much easier than Clarisse had feared. In another, it had been much more difficult than expected. Anna's words were not accusing. In fact, Clarisse felt that Anna genuinely liked her and did not blame her for those unpleasant scenes a few months earlier. However, Anna had not sugar coated anything either.
It was this simple stating of facts that made it so painful to Clarisse.
Joseph's family was genuinely happy about their marriage, however they greatly disapproved of the way it was handled. Of course, nobody had said anything, but between the lines they almost shouted it. The family disliked the way their sudden nuptials were handled and they were uneasy about the position Joseph was thrust into.
The family would have preferred a much clearer approach – something that told everybody where he stood. A wedding that was announced and properly planned and that had the entire clan invited.
The gentle snore in her ear brought a broad smile to her face. How she loved things like this – those small things that defined their closeness. Her nightgown lying on the floor half-covered by his shirt. Joseph's feet unconsciously rubbing the soles of hers even as he slept. His arm pillowing her head, while the other held her body in a death grip against his. His nose buried in her hair, his soft snores in her ear. Clarisse had heard many women complain about their partner's snoring – she loved even this. It was so comforting and reassuring to have this reminder of his nearness. She loved his snoring… she loved… him.
They had been so close to losing themselves. So close to loss and yet they had made it through. It was incredible; they had made it simply based on one thing – their love for each other. Their love and their want to be together.
Along the way so much had to be done, had to be learned, to be accepted.
Clarisse now understood this line she once heard in a movie: Love is a two-way street. It was indeed. Love consisted of sharing; and sharing meant taking and giving.
Aware of the warmth Joseph's body provided to hers in this surprisingly cool night, Clarisse realized that among all the giving and taking they had already done, and would do in the future, one more real public declaration of commitment must be made.
Maybe not by that river. Maybe by the stream on the palace grounds. Outdoors? Definitely. They would just have to find a way to make Carmen comfortable.
Carmen and all the others of course – Joseph's entire family would have to be there, his sister Louisa and her husband Martin would simply have to fly in from Washington again. Uncle Ernesto and his wife, along with their six children. Of course, Jorge and Carmen and their two sons would have to come. Maybe even this funny great grandfather of Anna's that Clarisse had danced with at the reception tonight.
They would probably need to charter an entire airplane to fly the clan to Genovia, but they would all be there this time, she would make sure of it.
Their anniversary was just a few short weeks away. Their first year – not always full of happiness, but always full of love. Their special date deserved something special. They deserved something special. Joseph deserved it.
Tilting her head slightly, Clarisse pressed a tender kiss to her husband's arm. The smile that had settled on her face as she hatched her plan, broadened when she felt Joseph's arm tightening around her waist.
So much love. So much possessive tenderness in both of them. They were simply…
Clarisse didn't exactly think out anymore what they were, for all of a sudden sleep caught her and within seconds she knew no more of the world than the warmth and security she felt because of the man holding her.
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