Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT, or any related characters (much to their relief, I'm sure!) If there is anything else in this story you recognise from somewhere else, then I don't own that either.

------- -------

The lair was unusually peaceful this Sunday afternoon. It was the last day of summer, everyone in the city looking forward to the cool change of autumn after the second hottest August on record.

Leo's gaze wandered away from the shogi board, waiting for Splinter to make his move. He would have preferred to continue with his katas. However, his Sensei had started to insist that he take a break each day from his physical training to exercise his mind. He used to enjoy spending quiet time like this with his father, such opportunities sometimes few and far between. Lately though he always felt restless. Channelling his excess energy into training seemed to help clear his head and left him exhausted enough to sleep at night. The wait whilst Splinter considered his strategy gave Leo time, too much time, to contemplate the real enemies that were still out there. Those that already had an agenda to tear his family apart and those they weren't even aware of yet.

At first Leo had thought the feeling was the result of the suicide pact they had almost completed in order to destroy the Shredder. But the notion of his family dying together really didn't faze him at all. What truly concerned him was the more likely possibility of losing them one by one; or being lost, no longer able to protect them. He glanced around, an instinctive reflex to check on his kin.

Don was immersed in his computer. The steady 'tak, tik' tak' of the keyboard a background noise they had gotten used to years ago. No more intrusive than a clock ticking, and almost as regular. Leo's eyes darkened as he spotted the bandage on his brother's leg; a wound from a recent scuffle with some street punks. A surge of guilt forced Leo to look away from what he considered evidence of his failure to protect his brother.

Mike had recovered well since his ordeal at Huns' hands almost two months ago. The only reminders he bore now were a small crooked scar by his right eye, usually covered by his bandana; and some extra scratches and nicks in his shell, although these were getting harder to discern from the older marks and dents. Now he was lounging on the floor demolishing a huge bowl of chips whilst watching a cartoon where a gang of punks that seemed to be half dragon were wrecking San-Francisco. He was way to close to the flickering screens in Leo's opinion. But since he had the excuse that the headphone cord wouldn't quite stretch to the couch Leo had let it slide, preferring the peaceful option.

From his vantage point at the dining table Leo perused the rest of the lair, already knowing he wouldn't catch sight of his third brother. 'Click'. With a light sigh Leo returned his attention to the board to assess Splinter's move.
"My win is not assured yet, my son." Splinter's voice was gentle, his eyes carrying his unspoken question.
"It's just quiet." Leo answered softly.
"Too quiet?"
"No, it's nice in a way."
"What, then, is your concern?" Leo was silent for a minute, lost in deliberation whilst Splinter waited with infinite patience.

"I think its Raph. I dunno, but I can't help thinking there's more to this 'one night out a week' business than he's letting on. I know you've made an agreement with him over it, and he hasn't just stormed out since then. But I wish he would tell us what he is up to. Casey thinks he's got a new friend, but he doesn't know anything more than that. I just hope that he's not…" Leo shook his head, unsure of just what he was trying to express "that he doesn't get into any trouble, that's all."

Splinter gave a slow nod, processing his son's statement for a moment.
"I understand your concerns Leonardo. I share many of them myself. However, I believe that Raphael suggested this arrangement as a way for him to improve his self control. Allowing him one night a week to do as he wishes, no questions asked, does seem to have given him an outlet for his restlessness. He also doesn't seem to be provoked to temper quite as easily. Would you begrudge your brother his attempt at self improvement to ease your own mind?"
"No Sensei, of course not. But 'self improvement' has never been a goal of Raphs' before, not on an emotional level anyway, so why now? And I'm not that sure it is helping his temper, he did smash the remote again yesterday. He just spends a lot more time hanging out in his room. He doesn't seem to be doing much in there, every time I check on him he's either doing weights or listening to music."

Splinter gave Leo a reassuring smile.
"Growth is not easy, particularly emotional growth. I am pleased that Raphael has asked for this opportunity, even if I am not completely comfortable with every aspect of it. If we give him some time and space I have faith that he will come to realise there is little he can gain on the streets that he cannot find here at home. I do not believe it will be a tranquil journey for him, but we are always here to help with any troubles that arise." With a resigned nod Leo moved his counter.

---------- ----------

Raph was sitting at the small desk in his room, flipping through the battered old exercise book he used to jot down his favourite song lyrics. Reading through them often helped him to sort out his own feelings, assured him he wasn't alone in his frustration with this world. Today, however, nothing written in there seemed to relate. He wasn't feeling angry, just edgy. As if there was something else he should be doing, or another place he should be. But he had no idea what or where.

He flipped to the back of the book where there was a section dominated by the tattered remnants of torn out pages. A few had survived, sporting great scars of ink where he had attempted to write some lyrics of his own. Opening to a fresh page he started filling the top corner with stabs from his pen, waiting for inspiration. Nothing came. With a frustrated sigh he decided to try something different;

Keep havin this dream. Dont know what it means. Stood in an orchard like the one near the farm. The trees are hangin down with fruit. Big granny smiths. The smell is fantastic! Then the smell starts to fade like its runnin away an I start chasin it. Runnin through the friggin trees like I can catch a damn smell? Sometimes it gets stronger like Im getting close to it. Then it disappears away again. Maybe Im just goin nuts.

Raph had never written about stuff like his dreams before. Why bother, they were just imagined crap; same as this one. It did make him feel a little better though. After chewing on the end of the pen for a moment he continued;

Its just a damn dream. Guess I cant really talk to anyone bout this kind of crap though. My bros an Case would tease me like hell if they knew. Splinter would just have some sayin or something to explain it. Not. Ape? Shed probably drag out 1 of those girl mags with some psychic carryin on. An Tau would probably whack me on the head with that damn sword of hers and tell me I AM nuts. Me? Shes nuts.

Cant tell anyone bout her neither. Theyd probably all freak out that Im hangin out with an enemy. Especially Leo. Hes been acting weird for a while. Think hes finally figured out what a fuckin bitch Karai was. Bout time. Tau agreed we did a good thing puttin Saki away. She met him a couple times. Thought he was bad news.

Taus cool though. We get together every Friday now. Spar an talk. Told Sensei I wanted time to myself. He figured I wanted to improve myself. Didnt argue with that. Didnt tell him bout Tau either. She knows how to fight OK. An gettin better. Used my own dragon punch against me the other night. Cow nearly hit me. Its easy to talk to her about a lot of stuff. She knows when to shut up an just wait for me to talk. Shes good at explainin stuff too. Like I can tell her whats pissed me off and she can tell me why. See? Nuts.

She tells me a lot of stuff. Dont think shes got anyone else to talk to. Her Mum and Grandad died in a car wreck at the beginin of the year. Then she got sent to live here with her Dad. I know he hits her sometimes. Arsehole. Hes a damn Purple Dragon too. I dont think she had much choice in joinin. Shes never told me who he is. Thought of askin a couple of times but dont know if she would thank me for doin him in. She goes kinda quiet when it comes up. Dont know why she puts up with it. She should leave or fight back or something. Dunno. Maybe its different when its your Dad. Spose cant really blame her for bein a little nuts. Dunno what Id do if I lost my family.

A pool of ink started to spread on the page under this sentence as Raph repeatedly jabbed his pen into the sheet. The unconscious act helped to distract his mind from the horrid thought. Another surfaced, a memory of the shock at seeing half of Tausha's face mottled with welts. Starting under the small mess he had made he continued to write;

Dont know how anyone could really want to hurt her though. Not once you know her anyway. Shes got a bit of a mouth on her. But shes not really mean and knows when to give it a rest. Could teach Mike a thing or 2. Shes so small too. Shorter than me. Bit of a sore spot that. Makes me laugh. Shes got really long hair. Not quite straight got a bit of a wave in it. Dont know whether to call it blonde or brown. Ape would know. Shes no Liv Tyler. But she looks really nice when she smiles. Her eyes kinda light up. Their nice. Grey with little flecks of green an blue. Like the ocean on a cloudy d

He slammed the book shut at the loud knocking. Half turning on the seat Raph plonked his ankle on his knee, chin resting on his hand, elbow on the book, and failed miserably at looking innocent before Leo poked his head through the door. A little gob-smacked at the ridiculous pose his brother was in Leo quirked an eye ridge, about to ask what Raph had been up to. He quickly thought better of it, since it would probably just end in an argument anyway.
"Mike's bugged us into getting pizza tonight. What topping do you want on yours?"
"Dunno. Let me think and I'll be down in a minute, OK?"
With a dubious look Leo warned.
"OK. But if you're not, it'll be Mikey's choice alright."
"Yeah, cool."

Raph looked away, willing Leo to leave. Taking the cue, his eye ridge still on its high perch, Leo quietly closed the door. Raph waited for a moment to be sure his brother had actually left before he cautiously opened the book again.

Inspecting the page he'd almost filled a small smile of pride played on his lips. He'd never written so much at once before, well not of his own creation anyway. Writing the note seemed to have exorcised some demons. He felt calmer, more in control.

Carefully he completed the work with the missing 'ay'. He read it again, enjoying the strange feeling diffusing his chest at the words. Then, ever so carefully, he tore the page from the book, neatly folded it in half and started to tear it into strips. The strips became pieces of confetti that he dumped in the bin on his way out of the room.

With a huge grin Raph leapt down from the upper level and sauntered over to plop himself down on the couch.
"What's with you, dude?" Mike queried.
"What d'ya mean?" asked Raph nonchalantly. His three brothers exchanged a brief look of concern before Don explained.
"You just look so…er, happy!" Raph scowled slightly.
"So I can't be happy now?" the familiar tone of warning in his voice. Before Leo could speak Splinter interjected.
"Of course you can my son. We are just glad to see it."
There was a moment of silence as Raph decided to accept his Masters' assurance and relaxed back into the couch, a half-smile returning to his face.

Relieved that another potential argument between his siblings had been averted Mike chirped.
"So, it's mega-meat-lovers with double chilli for everyone, right?"
"NO!" chorused all in reply.

------- -------

A/N: I warned ya! The last chapter was really easy, knocked it over in a couple of days. This one I've been tinkering with for almost two weeks. Sorry about the lack of action, get back to that soon, promise! Just wanted to indirectly show the development of Raph & Tau's friendship over the weeks that have passed since the last chapter. Leo's got a few little demons of his own, but not gonna give away any more than that for awhile ; )