Disclaimer: Did you hear about Brittany Spears? She had a baby. This wouldn't have happened if she just said she didn't own Kingdom Hearts...poor Brittany.

Authors Note: Thanks for the positive reviews ...but I'd like to make this note (I always seem to have to make it when I get this sort of comment). It isn't my fault things are misspelled. I type really fast and sometimes don't catch the mistakes...and neither does spell check. And it isn't my fault they stop teaching you how to spell things after the fourth grade.
Yes, I believe in Santa
Chapter Two: Baka-Chan

"Would you like orange or grape soda?"

He asks me this question every year. And every year I politely tell the train assistant:

"Oh," with a smile of course. "I'll just take a water. I don't fancy soda."

And then he nods and usually goes away to Scotland, or in this case, the back of the train. But this year 'Cid' (I know this via name tag) happened to stick around. "So are you visiting your family again this year?"

I nodded and replied, "Yep." What could I say? 'No Cid. I am not going to visit my family. I'm actually secretly an Elf for Santa. You may ask me why I'm not skipping around his workshop in tights? That's because it doesn't work that way, bud. Oh, who are the men in the white coats? Can you please kindly tell them to get me that water? I am ever so thirsty.'

Please.

"That's good," Cid mumbled. "They live in northern Japan, right?" This was followed by my nod. I also couldn't tell him that I was visiting Hokkaido just to become Santa's slave. I've learned to keep my mouth shut about these things.

Now Mr/Mrs/Ms. Cheeto eater, let me tell you this. Santa living in the north pole? Total bull shit. Us 'elves' use a lot of electricity. Don't you think electric companies would be a little suspicious to see that 20 of the energy is going to a deserted snow land up north? No, we aren't stupid. The 'north pole' of which you speak is just a small island off the coast of Hokkaido. And if anyone ask we are a 'toy company'. Which isn't exactly lying if you think about it.

I should tell you this now. The things you read in your picture books are complete lies. Santa isn't fat and old and neither is Ms. Claus. I already told you about that family business thing. Yes, we have reindeer. I should know, I clean their stables. Let me tell you, Rudolph is a complete bitch. Or bastard. Do reindeer have genders? I'll check that out later.

Going back to the Santa and Mrs. Claus thing, they aren't fat. They are actually very good looking (if I do say so myself). The current Santa's name is actually Cloud. Hard to believe, right? The fact that their names aren't Santa I mean. He's very well built (all the girl elves notice this a lot) and he has gorgeous blonde spiky hair. If he weren't my boss and already married, I'd say he was pretty...

Well...hot!

Now Aerith, Cloud's wife obviously, is Mrs. Claus and is the sweetest person you'd ever meet. That they didn't lie about in your children books. She's almost as tall as her husband and has curves that most girls (sadly, including me) pawn over and guys sigh over. And I will admit that she's even more beautiful then my adoptive mother.

Speaking of which, us elves aren't born with this magical power and are called to work for Santa for all of their lives. We kind of mate between ourselves and our children go to orphanages. Then someone adopts us. Around our seventh Christmas we get a letter in our 'language'. Our adoptive parents will read it and it says "Mikomi Orphanage is hosting a camp for all the children who have been adopted!" Thus, giving our excuse to go to Hokkaido every Christmas.

"Here's your water," Cid interrupted my thoughts. I blinked and realized I was starring out the window. I probably looked like an idiot too. It was dark as it ever could be and all that I could see was the lights in my train compartment reflecting off of the window.

So I got out of my baka like state and took the water. "Arigatou," I mumbled as I took the water. How much time did I have before we reached Hokkaido? I always hated the train ride up. It takes way to long. And these seats are the most uncomfortable pieces of-

"Anything else I can get you?" Cid asked in his work voice. You know what I mean. That voice that's always cheerful and helpful. I wish I could hear what his regular voice sounded. I can imagine he mumbled a lot. He also sounds like a smoker. Probably cusses a lot too. This guy seems like someone with a lot of hidden anger, more or less.

Stop spacing out Kairi! "Hmm," I thought a moment. "Do pretzels cost anything?"

"Nope," Cid smiled. "Everything is free. But I was suggesting you'd maybe want a warm meal."

"That's alright," I answered with a hidden smile as I thought about the feast that was going to await me upon arrival. It is, after all, the first official day of the break. "I'm going to eat with my family."

A.K.A. My fellow elves and the big cheese. Cheese ...hmm...I wonder if there'd be cheese in the meal. Not a lot of the elves like cheese. It's the one dairy product we can't stand.

Mental slap! Space out one more time and I will-

"That sounds pleasant," Cid nodded in an almost jealous tone of voice. "I'll come right back with your pretzels."

"Alright," I mumbled as he once more left my compartment. I looked around the room Cid just left. It almost seemed like it jumped out of the Harry Potter books. Kind of relaxing.

"Here you go ma'am," Cid came back and handed me my pretzels. I thanked him and looked down at the bag. Cid seemed to notice that I was starring at the bag with ever-so-shining eyes. "Anything wrong?"

"No," I smiled almost too much up at him. "It's nothing. Thank you Cid."

"See you later Kairi..." he bowed before leaving me to myself once more. I took the time to smile at what was in my hands.

"This is his favorite brand," I smiled to myself. I could tell too well that I was blushing like a fat kid looking at porn. Oh my, oh my Kairi is in love.

"Arigatou!" I exclaimed happily as I skipped off the train. With my suitcase in my hands, I made my way into the station. Once inside I looked around the mass crowd to see if my ride had come to pick me up yet. I saved the bag of pretzels just for him you know. Riku was going to marry me and I'll bear his children when he takes a look at these pretzels. More or less. I looked around once more to see if my ride was there to pick me up yet. Once I found them I gasped in shock.

"NANI!" I yelled out loud for the entire station to hear. There holding a sign that said Kairi-chan with a little smiley face on the side was the person I hated most. I stomped right up to him and gave him one of my famous glares. "What the heck are you doing here Sora?" (A/N: "What?")

"Picking you up," he smiled. This guys name is Sora, AKA Santa's son. And by the way, he is most irritating person you'll ever meet in your life. "Anything wrong?"

"Yes there is!" I continued screaming at him. Can't blame me for being a bitch. After all, I was expecting someone else! "How dare you call me by my first name? AND CHAN? WHO SAID YOU COULD-"

"Hold your horses!" he exclaimed as he coolly put his index finger on my lips. "Your precious Riku was going to come but he got caught up in business."

I felt my face go red at 'precious Riku'. Was it that obvious? Before I could talk back Sora said, "Fine. I won't call you Kairi-chan anymore. Would you like that?"

I blinked at the surprise. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Then the brunette smirked. "I'll call you Baka-chan instead." (A/N: "Idiot")

"NANI?" I screamed once more. See what I mean? Total jerk. I groaned rather loudly when Sora motioned for me to follow him. Like I'd want to follow this jack ass after he called me Baka-chan.

"Come on Baka-chan," he continued smirking as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Tidus and Namine are already waiting in the car."

I know. 'GASP! A CAR!' ...There are many things you don't know about Christmas World. Like how everyone stops believing in Santa? That's because that whole naughty and nice list actually exist. And the nice kids usually only ask for a gift or two. So gradually your parents buy you more and more gifts. Then one day, BAM! You realize your parents are the ones putting half of thoughs gifts under the tree.

And we don't give gifts to non-believers. We aren't going to waste our time.

"Alright I'm coming," I grumbled as I picked up my suit case. Wait. I picked up my suitcase? Lazy ass Santa's son. Whenever Riku picks me up he always offers to carry my stuff.

Reminds me to put that on my list of 'Reasons why I hate Sora'.

So I dragged my suitcase along as I followed Jack Ass-kun (HAHA SORA!) to his red BMW where I saw two familiar faces. "Tidus-kun! Namine-chan!" I smiled brightly as I threw my suitcase in the trunk. The sight of these two blondes were a gift from God. Hurray for God! I was safe for a little while longer.

"Hey Kairi," Tidus high-fived me as I hopped into the car. Oh my the leather seats felt nice after being on thoughs uncomfortable train seats for three hours.

I smiled even wider at this. Is it possible to get stretch marks from smiling too widely? Not like I cared at the moment. "Heeeeey Tidus," I imitated the Fonze. And let me tell you. I was the best elf who did the Fonze.

Well, only elf. But I don't take back my statement. "Hey Namine. How have you guys been?" By this time, Sora had pulled out onto the busy highway that led to the boats. Thoughs boats took us to 'DESTINY ISLAND', as us elves like to call it.

"I've been really good," Namine smiled as she took her gaze off of her drawing. I bent over to see what it was.

"Oooh I like that!" I exclaimed and nodded in approval. In unfinished picture, we were all in our elf uniforms (yes, the tights and pointy shoe thing? We sadly still do that. And yes, it sucks very much so) riding reindeer. A little childish but it doesn't really matter. Namine is a pretty kick ass drawer.

"Domo," Namine slightly blushed as she went back to drawing. Namine rarely talks. She mostly expresses herself through her drawings. Which is good, because when she does talk she's annoying as hell. (A/N: "Thanks" and when Domo and Arigatou are put into the same phrase it means "Thank you very much.")

"Does anyone have a cell phone?" I asked the group. Hopefully he didn't answer.

"What do you need it for," Sora, sadly, answered me. Then that twisted smirk formed on his eeeeevil little face. "Baka-chan." Not only did he give me a crude nick name but did he have to pronounce every syllable in that annoying little voice of his? What am I saying, of course he does.

"My friends wanted me to call once my ride picks me up," I replied as I tried to keep my cool. "Since Sanako is out of town and all." Sanako referring to my adoptive mother of course.

"Oh sure," Sora shrugged as he met my gaze. Did he not know to keep his eye on the rode? No, no keep your calm Kairi. Not everything about him is bad. "Wait," he blinked in surprise. "You have friends?"

Oooooh my you could see the anger steaming off of me by this point. "Yes," I gritted my teeth. "I do in fact have friends. Of the elf and human kind." I swear, if his dad wasn't my boss-

"Calm down Baka-chan," he smiled with a smirk. God I hate that smirk. "I'll let you borrow my cell phone." He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. "There you go."

"Arigatou," I mumbled under my breath. What am I going to do when this guy becomes Santa? Oh my I hope I die before that. Save me the misery now. I took the cell phone from him and began dialing a certain sugar happy someone's number.

"Moshi, Moshi?" Selphie answered on the other line. "Who is this?" (A/N: "Hello?"...go to freedict(dot)com)'

"Hey Selphie," I greeted her. "It's Kairi."

"KAIRI-SAN!" Selphie exclaimed. I was glad we were miles apart. I could only imagine the glomp she would have given me. "How are you? Where are you? What are you? When-"

Let's see. I'm peachy, minus the fact that Riku, the guy I'm in love with, didn't pick me up. And Sora did in his place. Who's Sora? Oh it's this guy I hate. He calls me Baka-chan and I'm pretty sure he's gay. He probably makes the male elves become his sex slaves. Where am I? In his BMW. How can this guy afford one I have no clue. What am i? Oh I'm an elf. I work for Santa. Wait! Don't hang up Selphie!

As if.

"Whoa Selphie!" I laughed as in I were handling a galloping horse. "I'm fine. I'm in my...erm..." Think Kairi! Selphie thinks your visiting family. "Cousin's car. He picked me up from the train station." I looked up at the front seat and saw Sora giving me a rather confused look. Well, as the gaming nerds would say.. 'stfu' Sora!

"That's good," Selphie brightly added. "Wakka is over playing video games with my onee-chan." (A/N: "Older sister") I heard her laugh on the other end. "Who could believe Yuffie liked all these guy things?"

I would. I only have to wrap her gifts every year. And let me tell you, she doesn't ask for cell phones like the other girls her age. It's Halo 2, Legend of Zelda, Grand Theft Auto, ect. "Not me," I laughed. Oh if she only knew how much I lied to her.

"Well it's good to know your safe," Selphie yawned. "But I'm tired. You do know it's almost eleven right?"

"Yes," I slumped down in my seat. I will admit, I was a little tired also. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Okay," Selphie yawned once more. "See you later Kairi," was the last thing she said before she hung up. And it was the last thing I heard before I nodded off.

And the next thing I knew, I was being woken up by Jack Ass-kun himself (I hope that never slips out in real life conversation). "Get up Baka-chan." I hate that smirk, I hate that smirk, I hate that smirk! "We're here."

I yawned and looked up. This place had always brought a smile to my face. A red painted cheery warehouse with green painted windows and doors all around. Trimmed with Christmas lights and decorations of all colors.

I was finally home for the holidays.

Authors Note: Oh yeah...don't forget to send in your ideas if you have any :D. And suggestions...whatever. I've decided to put my myspace up in my profile.

Kairi: Secretly one of "Santa's elves" who his son, future Santa, gets picked on by Sora a lot.
Sora: Son of Santa Claus, AKA Cloud. Likes to pick on Kairi.
Riku: Head elf and Kairi's love interest.
Tidus: Another elf and Kairi's friend.
Namine: A fellow elf. Very quiet and likes to draw.
Selphie: A very hyper classmate/friend of Kairi's. She doesn't know about elves.
Wakka: One of Kairi's classmates at school.
Cloud: Santa Claus, Father of Sora.
Aerith: Mrs. Claus, Mother of Sora.
Leon: School stud and member in the band 'SQUFFIE'. Not a major character.
Yuffie: Leon's friend, Selphie's sister, member in his band. Not a major character.