Heyla to all you readers…. No, I have not abandoned you! Really, I swear. I'm still writing, I just got rather bogged down with homework and our trip to Texas. Poor excuse, I know, but there it is. Put down the tomatoes.

So, finally, I give you the chapter in which Kurama commences with teaching. You have no idea how many people have been threatening to murder me if I didn't do this now. I have come to realize that reviewers are, in fact, quite vicious. And descriptive in torture methods.

Disclaimer: Ha. Ha-ha-ha-HA. I wish. I only own the random characters, and I don't really even own them, because they're modeled after friends. And myself. Which I suppose I sort of own, though my parents beg to differ on that point. I realize I'm rambling, and coming close to annoying y'all. (Speaking of which, how the hell do Texan people manage to say 'Y'all'all're frum Minnesoooooota?' without getting tongue-tied? I've been trying all week and have only succeeded in creeping out my cat, who now avoids me like I've grown an extra head.)

Oh, right. /Blah/ is Ryou to Bakura/Blah/ is Bakura to Ryou, and 'Blah' is the thoughts of whichever poor character I'm giving lines.

Enjoy!

Crimson Blood on White Hair

Harry tapped his quill impatiently on the table he stood near, impatient for the lesson to begin. They had Herbology with the Ravenclaws, he noticed, as a blonde and a redhead strolled through the door wearing the appropriate gold and blue scarves.

"So, like, when are you totally going to set me up with that blind date?"

"Um, like, as soon as I get Daine's depression issues sorted out, I think."

"Oh, that's right, she's having a horrible day, isn't she?"

"Totally! I mean, she's riding the cri–"

A large crash interrupted their conversation, and they both screamed as glass shards rained down from a windowpane directly above them and slightly to the left. Harry whipped out his wand, pointing it at a white-haired stranger who had just landed in the middle of their classroom.

Wait. That's Professor Bakura! Where'd he come from? Slightly embarrassed, he pointed his wand from the glass shards on the floor to the pane of broken glass above them and muttered a quick, "Reparo!" to cover his folly. He backed away, standing near a large (Ten feet if it's an inch, he thought) plant – it formed an upside down bell shape, with colorful red insides and vibrantly green outsides, dripping what seemed to be a thick, purple sap.

Bakura, ignoring Harry altogether, came out of his landing position and growled, shaking leaves out of his hair. "Kurama!" he barked. "Where is that blasted pseudo-thief?"

The plant beside Harry began to wriggle, until finally the top split just far enough to reveal his Herbology Professor, who climbed out, covered in yet more sap. "Well," he said, looking at his hands in disgust, "I think we've determined that one's carnivorous. Scourgify." He appeared clean again and sighed slightly in what seemed to be relief. Students edged away from the plant, looking as if it would swallow them at any time. "And Bakura, I'd prefer you not call me a thief, pseudo or otherwise, inside my classroom, if you will."

The white-haired thief waved a hand impatiently. "Fine, fine, whatever you say. I'm just here to observe – and get away from those creepy suits of armor. You realize they never stop singing? Never!" He shook his head in disgust and glared as a few overdue Gryffindors (to include Hermione, Mokuba and Ron) entered the greenhouse. "But I don't think they can come out of the main building, so I'll just hang out here."

Kurama rolled his eyes in a less-than-discreet manner. "Alright, stay put. And no sarcastic comments, please."

Bakura smirked, tossing his white hair as he did so. He then jumped into a branch of a nearby, harmless tree, which caused a great many of the students to gasp. Harry, less surprised than the others because of the performance the thief had put on for his Divination class, motioned for Hermione, Ron and Mokuba to join him at the table as Bakura gave a mock salute to the red-haired professor.

It seemed Professor Kurama was the only one to have kept the design of his former teacher's room. A long, wooden table big enough for all the students in the class to be seated around had been scrubbed clean of dirt, though no lacquer had been put on it. The center was hollowed out, a tree growing from its center. The edges of the room housed plants of all kinds, including the one Kurama had been inside as class started.

A bell tolled in the distant castle, signaling the beginning of class. Kurama scanned the room as the students took their seats, staring back at him expectantly. As the silence between teacher and pupils extended, Kurama finally took two steps forward, bending to be nose and nose with the student nearest him, which happened to be Ron.

Ron looked a bit startled, but, true to Gryffindor nature, stared right back until Kurama drew away and nodded to himself.

"How long," he said softly, "Have you all been taking this class, Mr. Weasely?"

"Th-the entire time we've been at school. This'll be our sixth year," said Ron in a stumbling voice, still unnerved by seeing Kurama so up-close. The clarity of the green eyes flecked with gold seemed to have shaken him slightly.

Kurama nodded again, taking steps around the table to a more frontal position of the classroom. "And," he said in a louder voice, "How many of you are here because you truthfully enjoy this class?" He smiled as almost the entire room raised its hands. "Come now – I won't be offended. And I specified that you liked the subject, not," he cast a glance at a small group of girls that had been staring at him with lustful looks since they'd gotten here, "The people inside it."

Hands slowly lowered, leaving only about a third still with raised hands. Neville, Hermione, and Mokuba were among those whose hands stretched upwards, while Harry and Ron's stayed on the table – they'd agreed long ago that Herbology was not something to be contended with.

"Thank you. You may put your hands down. How many of you have an aversion to this subject because you believe plants are not, shall we say, exciting?"

Several students raised their hands again, cautiously, as though suspecting a trap. Kurama smiled – Harry immediately drew parallels to Dumbledore's expression – and said in a soft voice, "Then I believe a field trip is in order. Outside, please."

The students filed quickly out the door, whispering the whole way.

"Harry, where are we going?" whispered Ron apprehensively. "It looks like we're heading towards….but he wouldn't let us, would he?"

"I don't know….maybe we're just observing?" replied Harry. "I mean, it's not like he can just throw us at it and expect us to come out alive."

"We're still heading towards it…" warned Hermione. "This is so not good."

"What are you all worried about?" asked Mokuba quizzically. "It's just a tree."

Ron looked to Mokuba as if he'd grown an extra head. "It's an evil tree! It's hits people! It's….it's…."

"The Whomping Willow, I believe you call this tree, am I correct?" The four's attention snapped back to Professor Kurama as he stopped a good twenty feet from the branches' reach – which was still far too close for most students. "Does anyone see how I'm going to convince you that Herbology is exciting?" He looked around, and the students stared back blankly, though Harry saw a smile growing on Mokuba's face.

"No one?" Kurama sighed, nearing exasperation at the student's lack of confidence. "Fine." He stared into the crowd, searching for a head of white hair. "Bakura, would you care to assist me?"

"Definitely." Several students jumped – they'd somehow missed the teacher standing in the middle of them.

/Bakura…./

/What?/ Called Bakura back through the mind link, teeth clenched. /I'm going to show that damned kitsune who's the better thief if it's the last thing I do./

/I…oh, nevermind./ Ryou sighed and made a mental shooing motion. /Don't show off too much./

/Good answer./

"Alright, fox-boy. What're we doing?" Bakura sneered as he faced Kurama.

"Proving Herbology is exciting," whispered Kurama so only Bakura was within hearing distance.

"Meaning?" Bakura mumbled back.

"You get your wish. We'll spar in the tree branches."

Bakura snorted. "We will not. Thieves do not spar. Thieves steal. It's a cute little hobby of ours – you may have tried it a time or two?"

Kurama sighed, then faced the class. "Does anyone have a small object we can use? I won't guarantee you'll get it back."

Nearly every girl in the class immediately dived for their bags, pulling out lipstick containers, mascara tubes, and candies. Bakura looked as though he was holding back the urge to laugh as Kurama sweat dropped.

Neville, however, saved the day by offering up his long-abused Remembrall. "Um, will this work, sir?" he asked cautiously, holding the glass ball up, which immediately turned red.

Kurama sighed in relief. "Perfectly, Mr. Longbottom. Thank you. Throw it here, if you will." The throw went off course – not surprising considering Neville's lack of coordination – and Bakura ended up catching deftly in his left hand.

"Now what?" Bakura looked at Kurama levelly. "You've got a ball and tree that hits things. Got a plan to go with this, baka?"

Kurama plucked the small sphere from Bakura's hands. "Yes," he intoned, and threw the ball into the air, where it was caught in the tree's branches, "I do. First one to get the ball from the tree without hitting the ground wins."

"Wins what?"

Kurama's eye twitched slightly. "I don't care. Bragging rights."

Bakura grinned. "Good enough for me! But none of your damn plant-master crap. Wits and agility alone, fox-boy."

"Agreed."

"They're not serious, are they?" asked Hermione, her face showing extreme anxiety.

Mokuba shook his head in remorse. "Sadly enough, they are. Now watch, will you? 'Kura's been dying to do this since we first got here."

"What, get himself ripped to shreds by a tree?" said Ron, astounded.

"Bakura doesn't – oh, jeez, that could've hurt – see it that way. He doesn't exactly, how would you put it? It's almost as though he enjoys pain. Or the challenge in front of it. I'm not quite sure."

The two thieves had already swung themselves into the branches, keeping their balance with an amazing sense of grace. However, the Whomping Willow seemed less than inclined to let them near the Remembrall – neither had been able to reach it.

The tree was also putting up a great fight of it's own, whacking at the two professors with a great amount of enthusiasm. The two had only gotten in a few spare kicks at each other – most of their attention was diverted to the tree.

And almost rhythmic pattern fell over the two as a light mist came over the grounds. Step, step, jump. Step, step, lunge. Step, step, jump. Step, step, reach. Step, step…

Slip.

Kurama's footing faltered for a split second on the slippery branches, and he grabbed the branch below him for support. 'I will not fall…I will not fall.'

'Got him!' Bakura lunged, aiming for the red-haired demon's midsection, and flew through the air. Kurama would land on the ground below, unscathed but for his pride. The Whomping Willow, it seemed, sensed his intentions, and moved a branch with spearlike twigs underneath the demon. Not to catch him….

To kill him.

/Bakura, no!/ Ryou raged inside his yami's head. /You can't! He'll die!/

/Like hell I can't, hikari!/ snarled Bakura. /I'll -/

But what Bakura would do, no one ever found out. A branch of the Willow took advantage of his inattention, and knocked him viciously in the back of the head. A large crack came from his skull, and a bit of his white hair was stained red. As he fell, unconscious, it came for yet another attack.

And the screaming began as Mokuba dashed forward, aiming for a small knot in the tree.

Ryou's eyes fluttered open, surveying his surroundings. He immediately shut them, thankful for the blackness, though the memories witnessed through his other's eyes came back in a rush. "Eep! Down, down! Go back down!"

"That's how you thank you rescuer?" Ryou heard a feminine voice call from the front of the contraption he was slung across – an oar? 'She must have picked me up before the Willow could reach me…'

"Botan? I…umm….thank you." Ryou cracked his eyes open, and, still finding himself much too high off the ground for his liking, stuttered, "Now can we please go down? I….I don't really like heights."

Botan sighed, and landed near the students. "Fine, take away all my fun. But you really are lucky I was there. That tree almost killed you, you know. Kurama too!"

Kurama stepped towards the two of them, leaving a bewildered class behind. "I'm just fine, Botan. Mostly thanks to Mokuba, though. That knot," he gestured towards the tree, "Apparently freezes the whole thing for a limited amount of time."

Botan turned to him, worry gracing her features. "Speaking of which, you'd better have a good reason for not using your power over plants, Kurama! You almost had the both of you dead!"

A cold look passed over Kurama's eyes. "Botan, you of all people should know a demon's promise is binding. I told him I would not, under any circumstances, use my powers." He smiled again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a class to finish. Would you please take Ryou up to the Hospital Wing? If that headwound isn't taken care of, I believe you'll have to take up your old occupation of Grim Reaper."

"So," questioned Kurama, smirking again, "Who still thinks Herbology is mind-numbing?"

The class shifted restlessly. "If we raise our hands, will you show us how to do that?" queried a girl in the back.

Kurama laughed. "I may just show you how whether you like my class or not."

"Awesome!"

The red-haired demon looked around one more time. "Any other questions?"

Mokuba gained an evil smirk. "What's with the ears, Kurama?"

Kurama glared at the black-haired boy. "A simple practical joke I've come rather attached to," he lied smoothly. "You're dismissed."

They filed out of the room, confused, and Mokuba grabbed Kurama's hand, mumbling something about going up to see Ryou in the Hospital Wing.

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A big thank you to…..

LadyKatsu, Shalaren, Theeternitycode, Akira Tosiyama, Kenmeishouri, Reading Girl, Rosedark, Hikari of the Moon, Darkdaisy, Zina, Yllom21, RainOwl, Ciardra, Kayono, …, ComputerFreak101, Tira's Host, Chelley Angel, The Raging Flame Moon, SamuraiDuck27, Emiko, Bloody Cross, Latin101, CrazyHyperLady, Storm101, Dark Sorceress of Egypt, Dreamer Resurrected, RandomGirl, - Glomps Yuugi -, Starlet36, and Flamethrowerqueen.

Love you all! (Now review again - please?)