Chapter 7: Chilli

***Content Warning***

Discussions of mental health, anger, depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts are present in this chapter. There will also be reference to-but no depictions of-sexual content. You have been warned.

***ST***

As the green pickup crested the horizon the group in the camp held their breath. It was an unfamiliar vehicle, which meant potential danger. It slowed to a stop outside the camp and Bandit stepped out waving his hands. "It's just us! We have a different vehicle now, but we're all okay!"

The camp group excitedly poured out of the camp and ran to check on their loved ones.

"Thank God you're all okay!" Trixie said, hugging each of the scavengers-including Jeff.

Stripe pulled both of his older brothers into a bear-hug, the stockiest Heeler using his weight to keep the two held by his side a moment before releasing them. "Mates, don't you ever do that again! From now on at least one o' ya stays here! I had a nightmare I was the last Heeler left, no way in hell I can handle that much fucking pressure!"

Bandit and Rad both chuckled.

"Well, we're here." Rad rolled his eyes as he scruffed Stripe's forehead.

"Though we appreciate the worry." Bandit commented.

It was at that moment that Mary squealed in Wendy's arm. The spitz had been holding the one twin, Chilli the other. Frisky and Rad's faces lit up as they went over to their tots. Rad gently took Chris, and Frisky Mary. They greeted their babes, then switched again saying hello.

Chris immediately tried to latch onto his mother's chest as she held him.

"Oh!" Frisky said, adjusting the tot. "Someone's hungry."

Chilli nodded, "I don't know how you do it, the little buggers are milk monsters."

Frisky grinned sheepishly. "Thanks again for looking after them."

"You're welcome. You'd've done the same." After a moment she looked at the truck,"Where's the 4x4?" Chilli asked.

Bandit frowned, "We had to abandon it in a hurry to leave Darwin. We couldn't go back for it."

"Oh." She replied.

"But we got all the supplies we need for the vaccine!" Frisky said, gesturing to the pile of devices in the truck's bed.

"That's fantastic!" Nate said, looking up at the steel contraptions.

"How long until a vaccine?" Lucky asked, looking at Nate.

"We don't know, it might take a while." Frisky admitted.

"Oh, okay." Lucky nodded.

"Here, let's get this stuff unloaded." Stripe said.

Over the next hour Nate and Stripe set up supplies with Trixie and Frisky's oversight. Rad went to take a well-earned nap (he'd been driving for nearly a day straight and was exhausted as a result), and Jeff was going to relax and read a little before he went to meditate. Wendy was busy corralling the children. Chilli and Bandit were left alone in the center of camp; with Bluey hesitantly standing by the edge as well (the other kids are either excitedly helping get the stuff unloaded or busy playing). After a minute he spoke.

"I need to be honest with you two. Right now, I'm feeling pretty broken. I know I've been acting fine, but that's what it is. It's an act. I feel absolutely knackered and like there's still a gaping hole in my chest. Bluey, Chilli, I love you both, but I really miss Bingo. Not a day goes by, hell, not a minute goes by, where I don't think of her. I was talking with Rad and he told me I couldn't keep bottling this all up. For being a drongo he has good advice sometimes. I want us to talk, really talk, about how we feel. I know it's gonna be painful, and I know it's not going to be fun… But I think it's the best thing for us-to get this all in the open so we can deal with it, then figure out what to do."

So they did. They talked. Bandit, Chilli, and Bluey all shared their emotions and grief. The three cried and hugged, and laughed at some good memories. It was painful, admitting the loss and the grief they felt. Learning just how much Bandit had wanted to die. How much Chilli had been afraid to confront the truth and had thrown herself into her work. And how Bluey had been trying to figure out how to handle it on her own because she thought it was a problem that was only she was having. By the end of it they felt better, they weren't perfect, but they knew they could talk to each other.

"From now on we share about this. Or anything else. Like we did back in Brisbane. Now more than ever we need to have each other, and I'm sorry I cut myself off and made you both do the same by proxy." Bandit apologized.

"Well, it isn't exactly totally your fault." Chilli said. "I could've said something."

"Or me." Bluey added. "But I was afraid that you guys wouldn't listen."

Bandit and Chilli were both taken back a moment, Bandit spoke first. "Bluey, I want you to know that you always have a right to ask to talk to us. Even if it's for something small. I, I made a mistake and tried to bottle up my feelings. I blamed myself for something that wasn't my fault and then I let it fester instead of talking about it. It wasn't healthy, and as a result it hurt both of you."

"And I felt like I didn't want to drag anyone down into what I was feeling so I tried to bury it by keeping busy, but that wasn't good either." Chilli admitted, looking at her husband and daughter, "Both of us are sorry we did that. We never want you to feel like you can't talk to us."

"We love you, and we always want to hear what you have to say." Bandit added.

"Even if sometimes we don't want to say what we need to." Chilli admitted, a small sad smile on her face as she looked at Bandit. He nodded knowingly in agreement.

Bluey ran forward the few steps and jumped to hug her parents. Bandit and Chilli happily embraced their daughter, lifting her up into a shared hug. They stood in silence, happy tears streaming down their faces a moment before the youngest blue heeler spoke. "I love you. And I miss Bingo. We all do. But I think I miss her a little less now. I'll never stop missing her, but… I feel a bit better now."

"We love you too, mate." Bandit smiled as he pecked her forehead.

"You'll always have the memories, and we'll do our best to talk about things from now on." Chilli said, also kissing her daughter's cornflower hair.

Bluey yawned.

The couple sat her down.

"Why don't we get the little bugalug to bed?" Bandit suggested.

"Carry me?" Bluey lifted her arms to her father.

"Okay mate." Bandit smiled as he picked her up and slowly walked to the caravan to put her down for the night.

A few minutes later he returned and stood by his wife, watching the fire lick at the edges of the pit in the middle of the camp.

"Well, what now?" Chilli asked.

"Whaddya mean?" Bandit said, tilting his head slightly as he looked at his wife.

"Well, Bluey and Lee are tended to, and we're finally feeling a bit more like our old selves. Do you think you'd want to… y'know?" She shrugged slightly as she placed a hand on Bandit's arm.

Bandit blushed; they hadn't been intimate since Bingo's passing. Whether out of grief or guilt he wasn't sure, but neither had touched the other. "Wait, really?"

"We love each other, our daughter is starting to feel better, and we have a plan for what to do next. I think I deserve a little special attention from my special man." Chilli said seductively as she held Bandit's hand. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Bandit said, pulling his wife in for a kiss on the muzzle. He smiled, his tail wagging slightly, "Yeah, I think that could be nice. Just the two of us again."

The two headed to the truck and Bandit opened the back door, revealing the interior. "After you, my love."

"Wackadoo! It's massive in here." Chilli commented, observing the cab's size as she crawled in.

"With heated leather seats…" Bandit said, gesturing to the console.

"Oh… I'm definitely going to be using those later." Chilli said, looking at the switches.

Bandit followed and slid the seats down into a flat surface, revealing a space about the size of a king sized bed of leather. As he did something rolled out of a compartment behind the seats that had been moved. His eyes bulged slightly as he hoped Chilli wouldn't notice. She did.

Chilli looked at the noise and picked up the black cylindrical device. "A flashlight?"

Bandit coughed. "Um, yeah… Almost, just change a letter or two."

Chilli grinned wickedly, "Bandit Heeler! You naughty dog! How did you even manage to get one of these?"

"Believe me, it's a story." He stated, not wanting to reveal how he'd managed to filch it from the basement of a pharmaceutical company-of all places. He'd seen it in a shipment of items for the sperm bank that they'd had as part of the fertility research department, and well, he'd sort of always wanted to try one…

"Well, you aren't the only one keeping secrets." She paused, scooting back toward the door, "I'll be back in a minute." She pointed at him, "Get ready buster, because I've been waiting for months for this!"

She returned a minute later holding a box with a large phallus on it and a few straps that looked like suspenders. Bandit's brow rose as he quickly put two and two together. "Oh!"

She nodded, "Yeah… I know we'd talked about it, and I just happened to ask Janelle to grab one when you all were out scavenging for medications…"

"Wait, you've had that for almost a year?!"

"Bandit, you're not the only one who's had needs!" Chilli remarked.

His ears flattened as he realized that yes, she was right. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault. You've always been cautious when I was expecting, and well, I still had an appetite…" She waved her hands slightly, "Then after Bingo, well, I missed you."

"I guess it wasn't just emotionally that I distanced myself." Bandit admitted reluctantly.

Chilli nodded before placing a hand on his chest. "But if you're ready, we can try again. But only if you want to, I don't want to force it."

Bandit looked at his wife, inhaling a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, I think I am."

***ST***

It was seven when the couple awoke. Everything was cleaned up quickly and the two departed the truck as the other adults were leaving their sleeping quarters.

Bandit had one hand on his back and another on his bum. "I am not the dog I used to be…" He muttered as he slowly walked into camp.

"No, but you're still my silver fox." Chilli smiled as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Not that silver! You're starting to grey too, you know." He shot back.

She spanked him, leading him to yipe. "That's for being cheeky."

"Sorry." He pecked her on the cheek, leading to a slight blush.

"All's forgiven." She smiled, glad that they were mostly back to the way they'd been.

Did you know that it is actually a misconception that it is effective birth control to breastfeed? Given how formula was essentially nonexistent after the global collapse and zed outbreak, the two mothers had been using the method to feed their infants. While Frisky and Rad had decided that he was forbidden from using the 'front door' ever again-Frisky never wanted to experience the joy of having twins again-Bandit and Chilli hadn't been quite as careful in their first union following Bingo's passing. But oh well, what could possibly come of that?

***Author's Note***

Hello everyone! I hope you liked this one. I wanted to bring a bit of healing to the Heelers with everything going on. Coming up: walls, vaccines, felines, and sock-puppets! If you liked this story, please comment and let me know. If you didn't, comment and suggest what you'd rather have instead. I am open for commissions and will be starting my new story "Parenting" (sequel to Motherhood, sequel to Brandy) this week! I am also collaborating with Kodiwolf321 on "Project New Era", we should have a new chapter soon. In any case, thanks for reading!