1Pairing: Odd and Sam: duh!
Note: Italicized words are in the past.
Rating: PG-14 I guess...
Warnings: Hints of Prostitution/Incest, Drugs, Alcohol, and Suicide.
Author's Note: Well, it's four pages. So HOPEFULLY it's long enough for you people. Kind of strange. Beware.
Sleep eluded her that night and she sighed as she walked over to the window, leaning on the sill and watching the clouds scud softly over the stars. Lightening flared briefly, a brilliant gold on a black backdrop, somewhere near Paris. She pulled on a robe, wrapping it tightly around her as she turned and walked to her bedroom door.
Her parents were in the living room, entertaining again. She crept to the doorway, looking in. All she saw was dim lights glinting off empty and half-empty bottles. Her mother's laugh seemed to echo through the room and she wrinkled her nose as the scent of cheap booze filtered into the hallway.
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She's a good daughter..."
She stiffened and backed away from the door, hurrying back to her room and dressing quickly in warm clothes. She stuffed her backpack full of clothes and flung open the window, climbing out.
"Sam? There's someone here to see you. Sam?"
She ran down the street, as fast as she could, jumping from shadow to shadow, trying to avoid the street lights. She heard them calling her name, but she ignored them, running as fast as she could. She knew somewhere safe. Somewhere they'd never look...
The music was loud and the atmosphere hot. She rented a locker, stuffing her bag in it and then made her way down into the Pit. She was already losing herself in the music. Already losing herself.
"Here."
She looked up, seeing the drink offered her and took it. She didn't care anymore. Didn't care about anything. She felt the liquid sear her throat and burn her stomach. Her eyes watered but after a moment it felt good and she got more.
Numbness was the best medicine.
Sam laid outside in the park, her eyes half-closed watching the wind in the leaves above her head. Her wrists hurt as did her head and entire body, but that didn't matter at the moment. She was outside, in the fresh air, CD player playing, blaring music into her ears. Cloudless blue sky played hide-and-seek behind emerald leaves and sienna wood. She sighed contentedly, stretching in the dappled light.
"Hey Sam."
She sat up, pulling the headphones off and smiled at Odd. "Hey Odd," she said. She stuffed the headphones into her bag and looked at him. "What's up?"
"Nothing, just wanted to see you," he replied, sitting down next to her. She leaned against him as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, you?" she asked. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and he reached out, taking her hands gently.
"You should stop. This isn't good," he murmured. He lightly traced the skin next to a thin crust of dried blood. She shrugged a bit and he pulled her closer. "This won't do. This won't help you at all."
"I know...but...it...un-numbs me," she whispered softly. She swallowed as he reached out, running his fingers through her hair softly. "I just...like to, you know, feel..."
"I know," he whispered. He tilted her chin so that she was looking him in the eyes. "But you need to stop," he murmured. She gave a small smile and closed her eyes as he kissed her gently.
"What're you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you...I needed to see you..." She shifted from one foot to the other, biting her lip as she stood in the school courtyard, looking at him.
"Go away Sam," he said coldly. He turned to go but she grabbed his arm.
"Please Odd, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, just...listen to me!" she cried out, grabbing his arm. He was aware of the eyes of other students on him, on them. On her ragged appearance, the way her hair was tangled and clothes muddy. The bloody cuts and the black eyes.
"I've listened to you enough. Go away."
"Odd!"
He pulled away, spying Ulrich and Yumi in the scattered students and making his way over to them. Ulrich watched her with an indifferent face but Yumi looked furious. And not at her, at him. "Come on guys," he said.
Ulrich nodded, walking with him but Yumi stayed fixed to her spot, glaring at them both. "How can you?" she demanded. They exchanged glances as she shoved past students, knocking Sissi into a wall, and went over to Sam, talking to her.
She never told him what they had said.
Sam looked at him, her eyes wide. "Why? You told me you never wanted to see me again."
"I was wrong. I regretted it."
"You moved on. Elizabeth, that was her name, right?"
"Right..." He trailed off, swallowing a bit. "Yeah, that was her name. But she was...nothing compared to you." He saw her smile and a warm sense of happiness spread through his chest. He rested his head against hers and they sat together, watching the river roll slowly by in front of them.
"Odd...I'm sorry. For all the crap I've put you through."
"It's okay. I'm just glad that I can be here for you. I'm just glad that your still okay."
She flashed him a smile, tilting her head. "I'm always okay Odd. Always." He rolled his eyes, but gave her a small smile.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "Come on, there's a carnival in town, want to go?"
"Now?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Isn't it better at night? When it's all lit up?" she asked.
"True...okay, then tonight?"
"Yeah, that's perfect."
It was snowing.
The first snow that year and it was falling lightly, yet covering everything in a fresh new blanket. Everything looked so clean and magical, like out of those winter-wonderland books. She grabbed a hat, cramming it on her head and wrapped a scarf tightly around her neck, heading outside.
It wasn't exactly cold yet, not at first anyway. It was the kind of cold that crept up on you, the kind that infiltrated your body slowly. The Trojan Horse of coldness, a sneak attack that could leave you breathless and numb.
The kind of cold she loved.
She walked down the street carefully, watching as everything became distorted and took on a new shape. Millions of snowflakes, all perfect, all unique, came from the sky, landing on her jacket, the street, catching on the bare branches of hibernating trees. She twirled around, laughing as she caught a few on her tongue.
Her coat flapped in the wind, but she was hurrying along, trying to get somewhere, somewhere fast. Her mind wobbled, trying to focus but she ignored it, focusing instead on moving. Moving forward, never back.. Around the bend carnival lights lit up the sky, glowing brightly in the white whirlwind.
She paused at the gate, looking up at the massive ferris wheel. She heard laughter and saw people running, drinking hot drinks. There was something...about...the carnival. What was it? Someone grabbed her arm, called her name.
A familiar face, a smile. She returned it, letting them lead her off. Farther from the lights, the laughter, the warmth. Towards a back alley, also familiar. Another voice, also familiar, calling her name.
Never go back.
"I promise I'll be there...this time."
Hot lights and sultry music, blaring through the loudspeakers, rocking her body. She let him take her coat and put it...somewhere. She let him lead her out to the dance floor. Let him slide his arms wrap around her waist, hands touching her bare back.
Bare back? Why? It was winter...
Her mind couldn't focus. She was losing control. He handed her another drink, she took a sip. It was hot and burning and it seared her throat, making her eyes water. Whispers in her ear, people bumping in to her. Thoughts churning, more liquid.
The fire isn't so bad now.
Lips against her neck, she tried to shove him away but her arms wouldn't move. Her mouth wouldn't work either. A new song, electric chords ringing through the din, people yelling, screaming, bouncing off the walls. A hand slid up her skirt and she tried to shove him away.
Why wasn't anyone helping her? Couldn't they see that she wasn't having fun anymore? That she wasn't enjoying this? Strong arms encased her, pulling her to him and she looked up at the face, as though seeing it for the first time.
"I'm so glad you came with me Sam."
Her eyes watered and she looked away, trying to find an exit, trying to make her body move. Her head spun and she felt the liquid burning its way back up her throat, trying to find an escape.
Her lips cracked as she whispered quietly. He tilted her chin up so he could hear her words better. "Wasn't last night good enough dad?"
Odd grabbed her, shaking her as she fell back. "Sam? Sam!" he shouted.
Her eyes closed and he laid her down carefully on the grass. A lock of hair fell in her face and he reached out, gently brushing it back from her eyes. He looked around, but they were still alone.
"Sammie..." he whispered softly. He grabbed his jacket, going down to the river and dunking it in, then wrung it out. He walked back up the slope and sat next to her again, lightly pressing the wet cloth to her face.
She wandered the streets for awhile, it was so cold. Her body throbbed, yet felt numb at the same time. Vaguely she could hear her teeth chattering. She walked by Kadic, letting her hand brush against the frozen fence, feeling the cold shoot up her nerves. It was nice to feel.
The house was quiet when she entered. The parents gone. She walked into her room, turning on the CD player, not caring what was playing as long as it was loud and rock. Her reflection stared back at her through the bathroom mirror and she walked over to it. A perfect Samantha-replica. Mirror-image bruises, cuts, and scrapes. She reached up with a finger, lightly tracing her face.
Finally seeing herself as she was. She grabbed a hairbrush, screaming as she hit the glass with it. A small crack formed as the hairbrush broke in two. Still screaming, she pounded the glass with her fists, willing it to break. Cracks formed everywhere, splitting her image again, and again, and again.
She sank to the ground, not looking at her reflection, instead pulling her knees up and letting tears fall. They stung as they hit open wounds or hit sensitive areas. Finally she stood up and undressed, entering the shower.
Her razor sat on the ledge. It was new, never-before-used. Carefully she picked it up and then she made the first slice. Red liquid ran down her legs in streams, entering the drain. Instant warmth filled her body, crying out in pain, crying out for more. A small smile formed on her lips as she moved the razor to her arms, letting it scrape away the skin, the dirt, the grime. Blood cleansed the wounds, pooling at her feet and then in the drain.
She tilted her head back, letting the water hit her in the face. Like a thousand tiny needles they hit sharply. Her body ached and her head swam but she had to continue. Had to get rid of all the dirt. All the filth. All that she was.
She pulled the skin that was caught in the blades free and started again.
Author's Note: O.o Wow...that turned out...different then what I was going for. I hope you guys liked it nevertheless. Let me know, k?