Please, please don't kill me. Lykaios at least knows kinda where I'm going- I promise Rem will be ok eventually! Bear with me, Sirius' behaviour will be properly explained in time. And he is a bastard in this chapter as well, so sorry! Please keep reading. There will be about seven more chapters of this story. And to think it was only going to be seven chapters long…

I have been called evil! Four times!

The years of care and loyalty
Were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie

I turn away, tears of rage in my eyes. I control myself and walk up the stairs, my shaking a combination of the anger inside and the effort it takes not to run away or hit him. James places a hand on my arm as I walk past him. "Rem…"

"Don't call me that," I murmur. "He calls me that."

He releases me, his eyes wide with worry. I carry on up the stairs, hearing him yell behind me. "Black!"

I slam the dorm door open against the wall when I reach it. With that one simple act all my controls break. I howl as I rush across the room to his bed. Reaching up, I wrench down the hangings around his bed, the ripping sound acting as an incentive to my destruction. I can't think coherently. My anger is drowning out every sane thought, consuming my mind. I want to destroy everything that is his, just as he has destroyed everything that is me.

I throw his bedclothes onto the floor- a useless gesture, but one that helps me. I pull his drawer from the cabinet and tip it up, allowing the items to scatter onto the floor, some rolling beneath our beds. I take each article from the top of the cabinet and throw it individually onto the floor.

His voice stops me. "Re. You're back." I whirl around to see him. He's standing in the doorway, looking at me with no discernible expression in his eyes. He steps into the room.

"Don't you dare come near me," I hiss, holding his hairbrush in front of me as though it were a shield.

He stops, and his stance changes. He folds his arms and places all of his weight on one hip. His eyes narrow, and he raises one eyebrow. Looking around, he smirks slightly. "Taking part in a little wanton destruction of my things?"

"It's making me feel better," I snarl.

He sighs condescendingly. "Ah well. Whatever turns you on." He sits on the chair next to the door, his legs stretched out in front of him and his arms still folded.

I stare at him. "How can you just sit there?"

"Quite easily."

"You bastard! You fucking, fucking bastard!" My voice rises. I snatch up the photo he keeps of us in his bed and throw it at him. He gestures with his wand so that the frame smashes on the wall next to him. "Do you realise what you've done to me?"

"Turned you into a raving lunatic? No, sorry, that had already started."

I hit the bedpost in exasperation. "I hate you, and I hate this goddamn room, and I hate this stupid makeup!" I scrub my hand across my eyes, blurring the eyeshadow and eyeliner into one another.

He stays seated, merely blinking in minor irritation. "Stop being so melodramatic and tell me what's up, or I'll just leave until you're ready."

"What? You git! You just had your tongue stuck down some girl's throat!"

He cocks his head. "Oh, that's what's up. What's your problem with it?"

I laugh in disbelief. "My problem? We were going to go public tonight!"

"And? I wanted something. She was available and up for it."

"Fancied having a slapper?"

"Better than a frigid guy."

I freeze. "What?"

"You heard me."

"You said that didn't matter, that you loved me anyway." I'm shaking again, this time with compressed tears.

"I lied." He stands and comes towards me.

I try to change the subject. "Why did it have to be a girl? Did I disgust you so much that you turned straight?"

"Oh, no. I'll still do anyone. Just not you."

I cry out, more with desperation than anything else, and run at him. I lift my fists to strike him, but he captures my wrists with his hands and looks down at me dispassionately. I struggle ineffectively in his grasp. "You're such a whore," I spit. "I don't know what I ever saw in you."

"I think the more puzzling question is what did I ever see in you." He stares into my eyes. "A snivelling goody two shoes who wouldn't let me put a toe out of line. Putting all the blame for your problems on me. You think you have no other friends because I won't let anyone near? No, Rem. It's because no one likes you."

I shake my head; unable to believe his words, yet compelled to listen. "No, you're just drunk, you shouldn't have been drinking, you don't mean this-"

"Oh, but I do." His voice is vicious, and I flinch away, but he still holds my wrists. "Think drink plays a part against you, Remmie? Think again. Your dad looks at you and sees the monster inside of you, your true form. He drinks to get away from it. Same here. I drink so that I can get away from you."

"Why?" I must really be masochistic, wanting to hear these words out loud. "What do you hate about me?"

"Everything." He releases my hands, but we stay close together. Even from here, I can smell the alcohol on his breath. "The way you control everything I do. Telling me what I can and can't do to you, when I can do pranks, if I'm allowed to talk to my own friends. I'm not your puppet, Remmie!" His voice rises. "And the way you've been acting as though every action is too difficult, and causes you pain. Yes, Rem, I'm sorry for what happened on the tower. Now would you mind not reminding me every two minutes?"

"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have fallen!" I gasp as I finish speaking. Those word should never have been spoken, and I don't mean them.

He smiles bitterly. "Knew it was in there. It was in the way you looked at me."

"No, Siri, I don't mean that-"

He shakes his head. "I don't care any more. I really don't care about you."

Tears are falling silently down my cheeks. "You said you loved me," I breath.

"Nice lie, wasn't it? You were about to chuck yourself off a tower. I would have said anything to stop you. And why have I told you since then? Guilt. Do you like that, Rem? I was only staying with you out of guilt."

I fall to my knees, drained of everything. I look up at him. From his words I'd expect his eyes to be stormy, but instead they're clearer, almost blue in colour. "Did it mean nothing to you?" I plead for an answer.

"Nothing." He turns away and leaves the room.

I break down, surrounded by the remains of both his belongings, and my life.

This took me quite a while to write- it's been through about seven rewrites. Y/N?

elsie777- I'm sorry! Blame the songs I'm listening to! SlashyKitty- Wigtown Wanderers. All will be explained, in time ;) Scarlet Snow- I'm afraid someone's already married my fic (Nox, you know you're there). checkmarks- The good looking ones are normally bastards. girl-in-the-moon- You want to marry him? After what he's done? carpe-nox-sulum-nox- Without the letters it would have been a drabble, not a chapter. My computer is also stupid. If I told you what was up with Sirius I'd spoil the story… but please keep on reading. IssaLee- I am honoured! Hope you're having a good time! Raichuu- Of course I update, I just say that to get more reviews… doesn't it hurt, not blinking? Silverwitch07- I have continued. More sniffles on the way? Lady of Faerie- I think the getting down on his knees will have to wait. Dirty mind! butterflywings32- I'm sorry :hides head in shame: Well done, Edgbaston is a cricket ground- and England won by two runs! Glad I made your day. It's strange- I'm at home doing nowt and you're at school. I've got till September to write all day! Hurry up with your next chapter, or I'll start emailing you threats! EsScaper- Does that explain about the sexuality? The next update shall be around shortly, if I remember to write the thing. Lykaios Nyx- Yeah, James knew. He is kinda like 'Lily'. We're having about twenty conversations here… Icy Sapphire15- Giggle? I'm worried. QFan- Only person to get Carter- congrats. I'm sorry! And ta for all the reviews. BenevolenceinViolet- I cried writing it. dempi- I have no idea about html. Wow. I think I am psychic. Seducer of the Night- Step away from the plushie, and put the matches down. sesshomaruhasafluffytail- All will be revealed. Not even flattery will move my lips. dancing in daydreams- I do update rather a lot. You have to pay attention, or I'll finish the story while you're not looking!
With muchos thanks to Sunshine Pie, Aussie Munchkin, KawaiiMegami86, Aimee and jessicagreen