Early Evening – Intern Locker Room

Cristina's lying on the bench eating a bag of chips when Meredith walks over towards her locker. "Hey, why aren't you in the gallery watching Burke's surgery?"

"I'm eating. Why aren't you watching Burke's surgery?"

"Date with Finn. Why are you upset today?"

"What's with all of the questions?"

"I think they call it conversation" Meredith continues to look through her things not even looking up at Cristina.

Cristina sits up and begins getting riled up again as Meredith changes for her date "I presented that case perfectly this morning and Burke should have picked me to scrub into Dr. Henderson's surgery. Not George. I had all of the answers. I earned that surgery. Did you tell your friend McDreamy about Finn?"

"No. Friends don't tell friends everything. You should know that." Cristina rolled her eyes understanding that Meredith was talking about her and her need to keep things private.

"Maybe you and Finn could double date with McDreamy and She-Sheppard?"

Meredith, used to Cristina's tactics, won't let her off the hook so easily "Stop changing the subject. You were upset at lunch and it's not about Burke choosing George because you were fine during rounds then by lunch you're completely freaking out."

"I was not freaking out. I was complaining. You should wear the other shirt."

"Uhhuh. That's why you're eating stale chips in the locker room instead of watching a cool surgery in the gallery."

"I'm on-call I've got all night to watch surgeries." Meredith turns and shoots a suspicious look.

Cristina's staring into the empty bag of chips "Do you think I've lost my edge?"

Meredith laughs "Seriously?"

Cristina is very serious now "Yes Do you think I don't work as hard or try to get into surgeries just because I'm…because Burke and I are…"

"In love?" Meredith can't help but smile. She loved taking advantage of every opportunity she had to point that out to Cristina. "Definitely not." Meredith sits down next to Cristina. It's not like her friend to question herself or, more accurately, share her insecurities so she knows Cristina really is not just complaining "Why?"

"The visiting attending from Mercy lectured me this morning about how she knows about my relationship with Burke and expects that I will be prepared and work to the beyond the proper professional standard." Meredith eyes are wide as Cristina continues "That I should stop expecting to be handed good surgeries just because Burke is an attending and I need to start working just as hard as everyone else. And my behavior and poor judgment is a disgrace to female med school graduates everywhere. Oh yeah and that I should forget about any dream I had of being the best because I'll never be taken seriously while I am with him."

"Ouch! Today's her first day and she's leaving in a week, I can't believe she said all that to you."

Cristina fidgets with her hair clip "How does she even know about me and Burke? Are we Seattle gossip? Mer, you're my best friend do you think any of what she said is true?"

Meredith can actually hear desperation in Cristina's voice "No. Look, Bailey would be riding you if she thought any of it was true. You're not a slacker and you haven't lost your edge but you are different." Cristina looks up in fear "In a good way"

"I knew it! Crap McMercy is right!" and with this statement Cristina jumps off of the bench and begins pacing.

"No, forget about McMercy! She's not right! You're very competitive, definitely not soft but you're happier. You're happy with life not just surgery. That's the difference. It's a good thing." It is now that Meredith remembers how hard it is to give Cristina a compliment.

The volume of Cristina's voice continues to rise "Says you! That was my edge. How am I going to be the best if I can't get in on the surgeries of the best cardio-thoracic surgeon at Seattle Grace? A surgeon's life has to be surgery!"

"This is exactly why people think you're freaking out."

Cristina stubbornly returns to her spot on the bench "Fine"

"We tell ourselves that our lives are surgery but that isn't true. Life is friends, life is the way that you can't help yourself but look at Burke for a few seconds longer when you see him, life is cuddling, and life is finding that person that you feel safe with."

"Great, I'm gonna puke"

"Your life isn't surgery anymore Cristina. You know that and you know that you like it better this way. Just admit it."

"Whatever, I've got a surgery to see. Have fun with your Vet!" Cristina puts her book and the empty chip bag in her locker and walks out.

"See you tomorrow" Meredith smiled and finished getting ready her date.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------OR Viewing Gallery

As Cristina walks into the Gallery, she passes several doctors leaving including Izzy and Alex. She takes a seat in the front row and sees that Dr. Bailey is the only other person sitting in the surgical viewing room. Burke and O'Malley are finishing Mr. Henderson's procedure.

"Yang, surgery's almost over. Where have you been?" The tone in Bailey's voice and the look she's giving Cristina makes it clear that she is not happy with the intern.

"Uh, I was just finishing something."

"You are here to learn. When you are on duty and you have no patients to see you need to be watching as many surgeries as you can. You should have been in here observing. There's no excuse."

"Right, sorry." From her seat Cristina looks down at Burke realizing for the first time that she hadn't spoken to him since rounds this morning. Finding it hard to focus on the surgery, she lifts her head up to look at the monitor. This always worked better for her when she was distracted.

Several minutes pass as they watch the surgery and listen to the OR conversation when Bailey starts to walk out of the Gallery.

"He can't pick you."

Cristina looks up "Excuse me?"

"The surgery assignments" Bailey pauses and Cristina is feeling panicked. Cristina realizes that Bailey overheard more than just the end of her lunchtime rant. The two stare at each other for a moment.

"You knew there would be sacrifices and sacrifices are not fair or painless. That's why they're called sacrifices. Yours is that you he can't pick you even when you're the best choice. We can assign you but when he has to pick he can't pick you. And if he did pick you each time, everyone would be watching, waiting for both of you to screw up. Waiting to say how Dr. Yang uses her hotshot surgeon boyfriend to get the best cases and skip out on scut duty. And deep down you would wonder too. Wonder if you were good enough to scrub in on these surgeries or if you were assigned surgeries because you were sleeping together."

Cristina was speechless and a bit embarrassed. Her mind was racing. She and Bailey had very few conversations about her relationship with Burke and certainly none as candid as this. Before she had time to respond, Bailey started speaking again.

"His sacrifice is that he might not get the one thing he wants almost as much as he wants you and that is being named chief at Seattle Grace. He knew that a long time ago. Can't have the Chief's judgment clouded by his girlfriend the intern. There are few things people love more than good gossip. The two of you are on display and you handle it well, both work hard, try to follow the rules and when you break a rule you take your lumps. You don't ask for favors and he's not handing them out, have good boundaries, keep your personal and work separate but even that is a sacrifice."

Bailey pauses, smiles and looks down into the OR as she continues.

"You need to remember that at the end of the day he's more important to you than a surgery and you're more important to him than chief." She glances back at Cristina "You'll get your surgeries and you'll earn your reputation."

Cristina smiles feeling more reassured than she had all day "Thank you"

Bailey walks out

"Oh and you're right...everyone's got their guy even me. Don't make me wish I picked someone else."

Cristina leans back and smiles.