I am so so so so so so so incredibly sorry. I know it's been a while since I've updated, but we've been given some essays to do, and also this chapter was just really annoying and not easy to write. But be grateful I have bad sleeping patterns- I woke up about 2 hours early, and so got to thinking about this! In between daydreaming about this new guy…

This may well go up to M for the next chapter. Nothing too graphic, I promise, but it'll need the rating. So look for this in there, or stick it on your alerts (hint) so as not to miss the next instalment!

Lily perspective. Wow, I learnt a new word in psychology.

The slate will soon be clean
I'll erase the memories
To start again with somebody new

It's quite a warm day for the time of year. Well, not particularly warm, but the sun is shining down on us. And the fact that it's a Saturday, and therefore no lessons today, really makes the day. We can lie around doing nothing, which is in actual fact what we are doing.

I lie in James' arms, my head pillowed on his chest. I can feel his heart thumping as he pulls his fingers through my hair. It's midmorning, and we're lying under one of the trees that dot the grounds. We've been out here for a few hours now. I'm almost asleep, lulled by both the gentle breeze and the steady rhythm of James' heartbeat.

"Lily," he says distractedly. "Promise me something?"

"Sure. What?"

"Will you always love me?"

I smile and snuggle closer. "Of course. I love you now, and I'll love you when we leave school, and I'll love you when you're old and all your hair and teeth have fallen out."

He still doesn't seem content, pushing me for more. "What if I do something really horribly bad? And part of you hates me for it, and you can't bear to be near me? Will you still love me then?"

I sit up and stare down at him. His face is troubled, his eyes worried behind his glasses. "James, what have you done?"

He looks confused for a moment, then shakes his head vigorously, making his hair even untidier than it had been. "No, not me. I haven't done anything. It's just hypothetical. I'm still the James Potter you fell in love with."

I lie back down again. "I haven't said I love you yet. Getting slightly arrogant there, Mr Potter."

"Well, I just assumed my godlike looks and winning personality spoke for themselves." His tone is lightly teasing.

I hit him softly. "Prat." We lie there in silence for a few moments. But I can't leave his comment alone. "James… what you said. Was it something to do with Remus and Black?"

He sits up suddenly, pushing me off. He seizes my chin and forces me to look at him. "What do you know about that?" he rasps. His eyes are wide and alarmed.

I pull away, slightly shocked by his reaction. "Not much. What the hell was that for?"

"Lily, tell me what you meant by that. Please." He leans forward, closer to me.

I shrug, scared by him. "Just that they've fallen out. A few weeks ago they were always together, you couldn't talk to one without the other being there. Now they can barely stand to be in the same room."

He sighs, and sits back. "I'm sorry Lils. It's just… I'm uptight at the moment."

"It was Black, wasn't it?" He doesn't respond, just shutting his eyes and bowing his head. He runs a hand through his hair, an unconscious action rather than the normal annoying egotistical gesture. "Remus is too nice, and he used to glare at Black across the room. Now that he's dating Stromboli he seems better…"

James snorts. "Stromboli's… Stromboli's a prat, but he's better than some of the others Remus could have chosen. I suppose."

"I never knew Remus was gay."

James shrugs. "Neither did I until a few months ago. Everything's… complicated."

I sit closer to him, leaning my body against his legs. "Was it Black?"

He grimaces, as though the words are painful. "Yeah. He did something really stupid, something totally and utterly stupid. And it hurt Remus a lot. Now he's punishing him."

"What did he do?"

"I can't tell you."

"James…"

"No, Lily. It's not my secret."

I nod, and place my hand on top of his, intertwining our fingers. "Are you punishing Black too? I know you're not talking to him."

"Correction: I wasn't talking to him. I am now. Last night… he was out on our balcony."

"Doing what?"

He leans forward and places his head on my shoulder. "Don't tell anyone Lils. He was crying."

"Why?"

"Lots of things."

"Was he drunk?"

James shakes his head. "No. I feel sorry for him. Nothing's gone right for him."

"James! He's got everything going for him! He looks great, he's in the Quidditch team, he's popular, he's clever… he has no right to be miserable."

"Who's this?" I jump and turn my head. Black is stood right behind me, his hands stuck in his pockets and his hair loose around his shoulders. He smirks at me and sits down, his knees close to his chest. It's strange. I've never seen him sit like that before. Normally he stretches out into all available space, almost like a big floppy dog with no concept of personal space. Now he's sitting… like Remus, in a way.

James pulls away from me slightly. "Hey Padfoot."

"Prongs." He nods curtly. "Sweet Lily."

"Why're you here, Black? Is it the studmuffin's day off?"

He winces. "Don't."

I raise an eyebrow. "Don't what?"

"Don't call me a studmuffin."

I laugh. "Ok." Strange thing to wince about.

James lies down so that he can see Black's face. He props his head up with one elbow. "You ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Black picks up one of the fallen sticks and begins to twirl it in his hand.

I spin myself around so that I don't have to keep twisting my neck. "Black…"

"Evans…"

I take a deep breath. "What happened between you and Remus?"

James hits me, and Black's eyes narrow before he bows his head. His hair acts like a curtain, hiding all emotions on his face from me. "I did something, and now he hates me. That's all there is to it."

"James said he was punishing you."

Black shakes his head. "No. He just hates me. He's getting on with his life, dating Matt Stromboli." He looks up, his grey eyes unreadable. He begins to strip the stick of its bark, concentrating solely on that. "You can barely walk along the corridor without bumping into them. They're always stood around, seeing who can stick their tongue furthest down the other's throat. Or they're spread out on the couch in the common room. You can't tell whose legs are where."

"You dated Stromboli, didn't you?"

He shrugs. "For a bit. He was ok. Slightly clingy."

I look down at my watch. "James, didn't you say you had Quidditch practice?"

"Yeah, at eleven."

"It's quarter past."

"Shit." He jumps up, and pauses to look down at Black. "Padfoot, are you coming?"

He begins to shake his head, but then stops to stare beyond me. James turns to follow his eyeline, as do I. It's Remus and Stromboli. They're walking along very closely, their arms around each other. Black throws his stick to the ground and stands.

"I'd rather do exercise than sit around with those two."

I click my tongue disapprovingly. "Black, just because you're unhappy doesn't mean everyone else has to be."

He stares at them, approaching us slowly. "I don't want everyone else to be," he whispers. "Just one person." With that, he leaves, James shooting me an apologetic glance as he follows.

I lie back down, considering Black's words. It seems very selfish for him to want Remus unhappy. After all, James said that it was Black's fault in the first place. He should be happy for Remus. Remus has never had anyone in his life before, and he always seems so unhappy. Well, there was a period of time when he seemed really happy. A while ago, after he fell off the tower and woke up from his coma. He didn't blame Black for that, although I know he was involved somehow. Then Remus got really miserable again, but now that he's with Stromboli he smiles. Sometimes.

"Hey Lily." Remus is stood over me, smiling.

I smile too, brushing some of my hair away from my eyes. "Hey Remus. Matt."

They sit down, and I put my head on one side in order to see them. "No James, Lily?" Stromboli asks.

"He was here a minute ago, but he has Quidditch practice. He forgot about it."

Remus smiles. "Prongs is a forgetful idiot."

"Tell me about it. I have to rely on him remembering my birthday, and our anniversary." I decide to try something. "Sirius was here with him."

Remus' face tightens, only for a second, and Stromboli's arms wrap around him. Then it's gone, and Remus smiles nonchalantly. "Didn't know they were talking again."

"Since last night." Remus shrugs and leans back into Stromboli's embrace. "What happened between you two?"

"Nothing. I'm better off without him in my life."

Stromboli nuzzles Remus' neck. "He's got me now, anyway."

That puzzles me. That makes it sound like Remus used to have Black… and they would never make a good couple. Remus is far better than Black deserves. I don't think Remus would ever stand to be… with Black. Maybe, though. It would explain why Black seemed upset. Maybe he's regretting hurting Remus. In which case I hope he suffers.

I stand. "I'm gonna go watch James. I always promise him I will, but never get round to it." I walk away, leaving the two of them entwined on the ground.

PerfectlySirius- Ta for being proud, and can I have Love Hearts? freakanature- Confusing is good. It means my twists are actually working. Ms. Lykaios- I will try to make your days better, with lots of goodness from my stories. There you go. foreverandever- Hmm. I can't really say… There should be another two chapters after this, and an epilogue. Lady of Faerie-You should write a story for Sev. You seem to have a slight obsession… IssaLee- Sixth form… I have no idea about grades. I'm in Lower Sixth, which is the equivalent of Sixth Year, and I'm sixteen going on seventeen. Nice long review, btw. I am obsessed with checking my inbox, yes. It's quite sad in a way. QFan- I feel better that someone cares. I get no sympathy from my parents, none at all! EsScaper- Close, mon ami. Closer than most people. butterflywings32- I'm trying to think, honestly. FlamencoPenguin- Another nice long review. The end to angst is in sight, I promise. Quite scary really. What am I gonna do after this? (Finish all the other fics I've started!) cerasi1- The stumpedness will end, I promise. thequeeneb- Yes, the review came through. I am a twisted person- my fav movie is Die Hard coz it makes me laugh. Shaggy Dog- Thank you, so much. Yeah, I'm female. Soz about Rem. I do know guys like that, though, so I was writing about them kinda. Icy Sapphire15- No one'll tell me, so I'm ignoring the 'no reviews' thing. Ethereal Dawn- Woo! I'm trying to set up a slash forum, so maybe that could have the anti-Tonk society on it. Onigami Nanashi- Which friend? I'm nosy. The Italian saying came from a song- dunno which, nox just told me it- and the second song is Save Me. Yay! carpe-nox-sulum-nox- I haven't got any of the series- well, I have the last episode on tape. 'A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet'. I have that picture as my background!
Thanks to elsie777, aishteru, Silverwitch07, Versipellis, Lil-Riter, SlashyKitty, SLC, KawaiiMegami86, decaydancexx, Karamela, suckers love, Tim, marina-potter and TE-Bag.