A/N: Thanks for your reviews, guys! I appreciate them! Clayre, great to hear from you again ;)
Mother Superior woke up the next morning at dawn feeling utterly well rested. For a few seconds she lay there with her eyes closed, savoring the feeling of being completely rested. Then her eyes shot open as a flash from what seemed to be a dream came back to her. She sat up abruptly and tried to cover her gasp with her hands.
"Please tell me it was a dream," she whispered feverishly to herself as she walked down the corridors to her office. She came to an abrupt halt right as she entered her domain. In her chair sat her friend, Monsignor O'Hara.
"Monsignor," she smiled.
"Good morning, Mother," she replied. "I trust you slept well?" He willed himself not to blush as the image of her asking him to kiss her flashed through his mind.
"Very well, thank you. What are you doing in here?"
"Oh, just thought I'd take care of a bit of your paperwork. I know you have a lot on your mind and I figured I might as well…" he trailed off.
"Thank you, Monsignor. You are too kind to me. I guess you were the one who helped me to bed yesterday?"
"Yes, that was me."
"Did you… did you stay or did you leave immediately?" she asked cautiously. He seemed to hesitate before answering, "I stayed for a while. Just making sure you wouldn't wake up and go back to work."
They were silent for a while before O'Hara asked, "Is there a special reason you ask?"
"I had a… a dream… where I did something that I shouldn't have done and I… I just wanted to make sure it actually was a dream," she explained, avoiding his eyes.
"And what did you do, my dear?"
"Believe me, Monsignor, you do not wish to know," she whispered. She felt a stinging behind her eyes and tried to keep back the tears. O'Hara nodded and stood.
"I shall leave you to work then. Don't overexert yourself."
"I won't," she smiled weakly.
The last she heard before he left her office was him mumbling, "I don't know, Margaret. I don't know."
"You don't know what?" she asked, curiosity taking over. Her question stopped him in his tracks. As he turned around, he looked at her intensely.
"I don't know if sharing a kiss would be breaking the vow of chastity. I don't know if falling in love would either. I don't know."
With those words, he turned again and left, leaving Mother Superior to herself. She stood there, mouth slightly agape, not believing her ears. Her cheeks were adorned by a pink tinge as she realized that it hadn't been a dream.
The next week passed slowly for Mother Superior. She was lost in her own thoughts most of the time and even the sisters had noticed. She knew that they were whispering among themselves that she hadn't been herself since the concert. She knew that they only did it because they cared for her and were worried about her. But she had made her decision.
More resolute than she had been for a long time, she sat down at her desk and pulled out a piece of paper. She could hear her own words in her mind.
"I have submitted my resignation to Monsignor O'Hara privately."
"We can't both of us leave."
She sighed. O'Hara hadn't been happy when she had told him, she resigned. He certainly wouldn't be happy when she resigned again. 'For good, this time,' she told herself. Without warning, a sentence she hadn't thought about for years popped into her head. Monsignor O'Hara had asked her to join him one evening and they had watched the Sound of Music.
"Just because you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less."
She hadn't really thought about it then but now, she almost cried. Putting her pen to the paper, she wrote the words that would open the doors to her escape. Had it been one of her sisters, she would have told her to face her problems, not run away but she didn't practice what she preached. Never before had running away seemed so tempting.
A quiet knock upon his door made Bishop O'Hara look up from his papers. He hadn't really been paying attention anyway and the visitor was a welcome distraction from the somewhat disturbing thoughts that he was having trouble keeping track of. Most of the day he had been trying to tell himself that she had never actually said his name when he asked him to kiss her – she could have spoken of and to anyone. However, the object of his thoughts stepped into the room per his request and he inwardly sighed, not really knowing what how a simple request from a woman not quite awake could change the friendly relationship he had with the Reverend Mother so much.
"Good afternoon, Mother," he greeted her with a smile. The smile faltered when he realized that she was paler than usual, with dark circles underneath her eyes. "Is something the matter?"
"I…" her voice broke and she looked at her hands, wringing them as she looked up again and once more tried to speak. "I have something for you, Monsignor."
"Indeed?"
She handed him the paper. He never looked at it as he took it from her hands.
"What is this?"
"My resignation." She said this with a calm and collected voice, which betrayed the turmoil her mind was in. She took in his expression; she registered the shock and the hurt that shone from his face.
"You want to be transferred again?"
"I think that might be the best, yes."
"The best… for whom? You? The sisters?"
"For me," she responded, looking down. "And you."
With those words, she turned and walked out of the office, tears stinging her eyes.
"Margaret!"
Several sisters turned to stare after the bishop, wondering who he was calling to. Mother Superior stopped and stood with her back to him in the middle of the corridor. Her hands were gathered in front of her and she was wringing them nervously. She knew that he was standing close to her but she didn't turn around. Both were silent for a few moments and the sisters in the vicinity all scampered out of sight – stopping when they could no longer be seen but still within hearing distance.
"Margaret…"
"I'm sorry, Joseph, but I..." she trailed off, never finishing the sentence.
"You what?"
"Nothing. Please forget I said anything," she whispered and resumed the brisk walk to her cell. She could hear the Monsignor's foot steps following her. She knew that she wasn't going to get rid of him until she told him the truth. She finally reached her cell and went inside, closing the door in her old friend's face.
Leaning against the hard wood, she slid to the floor, hiding her face in her arms. A gentle knock upon her door caused her to look up. She knew who it was and she did not particularly want to talk to him. She shook her head, realizing that she was acting like a fifteen year old.
"Margaret," he called through the door in a soft voice. She got up and opened the door with her best 'Mother Superior' expression. She then stalked past him and to her office where she promptly sat down behind her desk and gestured for him to take a seat in one of the guest chairs. He sat down with a frown.
"I would really appreciate it," she began with a toneless voice. "If you would just accept my request and be done with it."
"What I don't understand is why you want this," he said as if she hadn't spoken at all. She sighed and hid her face in with her hands.
"Why can't you just understand that this is something I must do? Please, I would rather not talk about it, if you don't already know," she said, finally looking at him again. He looked back at her with intense eyes.
"Does it have something to do with your… request?" he asked, always discreet. Her eyes avoided his, thereby giving away the truth: yes, it was in fact because of that particular request.
"Monsignor, for the love of God, accept my request and let's be done with it." Mother Superior was tired and she wanted to be alone, rid of this man that was her best friend. She wanted him to grant her request to resign, preferably immediately. She tugged on her habit. The room was quiet; neither spoke or dared to breathe. Looking down at the hands that were fumbling with the hem of her habit, she heard him get out of his chair. Footsteps sounded across the floor to the office door. She heard it click shut and buried her face in her hands. The sobs came quickly, dry and shallow.
When a pair of arms lifted her out of the chair, she didn't resist. One of God's angels had come for her, she was sure. She was dead – she was sure of it. She had died from heartbreak.
Still sobbing and shaking violently, she kept her eyes closed. She felt her chin be lifted and light shone on her eyelids. Her sobs subsided and she gave in to the warmth of the angel's arms.
TBC...