Alone

When Abe appeared at the door at the end of the day, no one batted an eyelash.

"Kana, your boy is here," Hattori announced.

"He's not my boy," I muttered, but no one would meet my eyes as I stood up and walked across the room.

There was a random gasp when Abe reached for my hand, but I pulled him out of the room before I could figure out who it was. It was probably Kuma to be honest. He was probably the only one not mad at me for what I said earlier.

The moment we were out, I yanked my hand from his grip.

"Don't touch me," I warned as we walked down the hallway.

"It's a date though," he said, chuckling, but he didn't argue. "I thought your class would give me more issues."

When I didn't reply, he continued. "Oh well. It's better that they're mad at us than find out what we've really been doing."

"We haven't been doing anything!" I shouted at him.

"That's not what this picture says," Abe grinned.

I picked up my pace.

You can do this, Kana. A couple of hours with this scumbag won't hurt you. You've had to deal with way, way worse.

A few guys began to follow us out the school gate but they soon left when Abe glared at them.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"I thought I'd let you pick the first place," he said. "Or would you prefer that I plan everything?"

We were going to more than one place?

"I know a place," I said. At least we were off to a good start. I knew it would stress me out if I stayed angry at him the entire time, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Who knew? Maybe Abe wasn't so terrible outside of school. And he couldn't be that much harder to handle than the 3-D guys, right?

He followed me to the local athletics center.

"Seriously?" he asked as we approached the batting cages.

"You said I could pick," I retorted, picking up a bat.

"I figured you'd pick something a little more suited for a girl…"

I wordlessly walked up to the front desk.

"How long do you plan to bat?" Abe asked me.

"45 minutes," I said.

He raised a brow at me but stepped ahead and paid for my station.

"Aren't you going to do it too?"

"Maybe later," he said.

I shrugged and stepped into my station.

The first ball came flying and I swung as hard as I could. PING! The sound was music to my ears.

"Gosh, Kana-chan. You make it so hard for a guy to impress you," Abe said.

"Shut up and pick up a bat," I snapped, getting into position for the next ball.

I lost track of time as I gave every ball my full attention. I imagined each and every hit to represent me punching Abe in the face and taking back that photo.

Forty minutes later, I found myself too tired to continue. I turned around to see Abe sitting on a bench right behind my station. Had he been sitting there the entire time?

"Are you done now?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"You were amazing!" he said. I gave him a look. It was probably the first time he actually sounded genuine. "Ah, I bet you wondered if that was a true compliment," he said with a grin, and I immediately took it back. Fake fake fake.

"Let's go eat!" he said, pulling on my arm.

"I said not to touch me," I growled. My arms were aching and extremely sensitive now. Maybe batting for that long had been a stupid idea.

We walked for a little while before Abe led us into a small restaurant. When we were led to our seats, the waitress handed us a special "couple" menu, and I almost got up and left.

"They actually think we're a couple!" Abe had said gleefully.

I had dreaded this part because I knew there was nothing to distract us from actually having to talk to each other. But I soon found I had worried for nothing because Abe was more than happy to fill up the silence with useless chatter about himself and his accomplishments. I ate quietly, sitting there as he droned on and on and on. He talked about how he had played basketball in middle school and how he was actually quite good, but he was way too good to be on the Shirokin team so he quit playing. (What was that logic?) He talked about how his class was so lucky to have beautiful Fujiyama as their homeroom teacher instead of Iwamoto or Yankumi. And then he started talking about he was so popular with the ladies but wasn't I so lucky that he had decided to pick me? I rolled my eyes.

"Is there anything else you want to know about me?" he asked.

"You said you used to be friend with Minami," I began.

"Wow, you remember so much of what I say!" he said. This guy…

"Just tell me," I said, stabbing at my salad. At this point, I was only mildly annoyed with him for the date itself, and I was hoping that he wouldn't say anything that would make that worse. But a part of me knew that that was asking for too much.

"It was him and me and Kuma, all in class 2-B last year," he said. "We hung out a lot together. Kuma didn't use to be such a huge softie, and Minami didn't use to be so pathetic."

I smirked, thinking that if Kuma and Minami could hear him, Abe wouldn't be sitting here acting so brave.

"And then they got grouped into 3-D this year and they started acting like they were better than I was."

"I see," was all I said. I couldn't imagine Kuma and Minami hanging out with this guy. But maybe that was why they were so insistent that I didn't spend time with Abe.

"And what about you?" Abe asked. "Why were you expelled? And why did you start school a week late?"

I was impressed that he actually asked about me. Such low standards I set for him…

"I don't want to talk about my expulsions," I said firmly. "As for that first week at school, I was in the hospital for part of it. I started a fight with a guy from Ara High and he called his friends."

"What were you fighting about?"

"…does it matter?"

"I guess not," he said. "But when you're my girlfriend, I won't let you get into meaningless fights."

Almost instinctively, I stood up. Now I was pissed. He was so close to making it safely to the end of the date too.

"Oh, did I get ahead of myself and call you my girlfriend?" Abe laughed, pulling out his phone. "But remember, we still have the rest of the date left before I delete this photo. At this point, I hate that I even have to remind you. We were getting along so well."

I sat back down with a huff, fists clenched under the table.

I couldn't believe I was using my day off of work from this. When Shun had asked me what I would be doing, I couldn't even answer him. How could I tell him that I would be giving in to blackmail from some punk? But at the end of the day, as long as that photo was deleted…

"You swear you'll delete it?" I asked, teeth clenched.

"Of course," he said.

At least he paid for the food. The sky was getting dark now, and I wondered how much longer I had to endure this arrogant ass.

"Let's just walk around," he said. He reached for my hand and I flinched.

For the picture, I repeated over and over in my head. I kept my eyes to ground so I didn't have to see his smirk.

Bad idea. The next time I looked up, we had wandered into the seedy part of the business district.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Well, you seemed a little tired so I thought we might take a break," he said.

We had stopped in front of a hotel. Was this guy serious?

I began to laugh. "There's no way I'm going in there," I said, turning around to start walking back.

"Come on, Kana-chan, it's just to rest for a little while," he said, grabbing my arm. I instantly regretted having put so much of my energy into batting earlier as I struggled to break free from his grasp.

I didn't want to make a scene. The moment the police came and questioned us, we would most definitely be reported to Sawatari for having been in this area in the first place. But Abe was crazy if he thought that by buying me dinner, I would agree to this, not over some lousy photo. And I was furious at myself for having let my guard down even a little bit.

I was seriously about to try biting his arm when I saw something that I never thought I'd be so relieved to see in my life. Iwamoto and Ando turned the corner and were walking toward us. They were still a ways away but they would soon be close enough to look up and see us.

"It's Iwamoto and Ando!" I hissed. "The teachers are patrolling again tonight. You run that way and I'll go this way!"

"But…"

"Are you an idiot?! Do you want to get caught here? GO!" I said, using the opportunity to yank my arm free from his grip and start running.

I didn't even look behind me to see if Abe had managed to get going. I was too busy turning into small alleyways and trying to get out of this part of town.

I finally managed to make my way to the very end of the street where the hotels started when I turned a corner and crashed into someone.

"Nakajima-san?" Kawashima gasped, as shocked as I was when we had both regained our balance.

Crap.

"I was on my way home and some pervert came after me but I'm fine now and I'm going to go straight home!" I managed to ramble out before taking off.

I didn't stop running until I got to the house. Maybe I shouldn't have run away from her, but there had been no time to think. I crossed my fingers and hoped she didn't assume anything, or even worse, report me for being in that area. I doubted that Abe would back me up, not after I had basically ditched him.

When I finally composed myself and walked inside, I found Shun and Chiba talking about something.

"Welcome home," Shun said.

"What's up?" I asked, as I poured myself some water, avoiding looking at Chiba.

"Chiba has a lead on the metal stick incidents that are going on," Shun explained to me. "Police are speculating that it's a group of local high school students, and Chiba's been narrowing down who they could be."

"Huh. I thought you would have figured it out by now," I said nonchalantly. Chiba was usually really quick about these kinds of things. I don't know how he did it, but he was really resourceful about getting information.

"Shut up!" Chiba hissed and stormed off.

"Really, Kana? Was that necessary?" Shun said angrily. "He just broke up with his girlfriend, remember?"

"Crap, I didn't mean it to sound like it did," I said, actually feeling bad. "It wasn't supposed to sound mocking at all…I'll go talk to him."

"You probably shouldn't," Shun warned, turning to leave the room. "He's already mad. Just leave him alone for a while. And seriously, watch what you say. I'm surprised I even have to remind you at this point."

I nodded weakly.

Sho wasn't home that night but I ended up sleeping on his bed again anyway.

Was there seriously any area of my life that I hadn't managed to screw up?

I seriously contemplated skipping school the next day. I would have to see Abe, none of my classmates would want to see me, and Kawashima would probably demand an explanation. It didn't seem worth it. But I didn't want to aggravate Shun any more than I already had last night, so I begrudgingly pulled on my shoes and headed for Shirokin.

Kuma was the only one who greeted me when I walked into class.

"Hey, you give that girl back her handkerchief yesterday?" I asked him as we waited for homeroom to begin.

"Yeah…" he said, but looked dejected. "But her boyfriend showed up. He's some prep from Shinguji."

Poor guy. I patted his arm, unsure of what to say.

"How was your…date?" he asked me slowly.

"Terrible," I said with a grin.

"Seriously though, Kana, that Abe is no good. He has a way of making people do things that they don't want to…you will tell us if that happens to you, right?"

"Of course," I said with a forced smile. Lying to Kuma seemed so wrong. Even though he looked scary, he was always the most caring and honest. "Where's everyone?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Sawada just sent me a text that he overslept. He's heading over right now."

I nodded. "And the others?"

Just then, Uchi, Minami, Yagyu, Oishi and some others dragged in a kid from Class 3-A into the room. The entire class stood up. What was going on?

"This is the kid that ratted us out to the teachers last night," Oishi said, throwing the guy into the center of the room where the desks were cleared.

"What for?" Kuma asked.

"We were smoking at the arcade last night, and he told the teachers on night duty," Yagyu scoffed.

"You rat," Minami said, pushing the guy.

"We don't like snitches," Uchi joined in.

Some of the guys formed a ring and began to push the 3-A guy around, either chanting or taking turns kicking him. They guy had absolutely no chance of defending himself.

Kuma and I stood at the back, staring at this scene. I knew that our class was rowdy, but I never knew that they could be so cruel. Sure, they were pissed, but wasn't it their fault to begin with? Who was stupid enough to smoke where they would get caught?

"Hey…" Kuma called out slowly, but his voice was drowned out by the jeers and chants.

I stared at the poor kid, who was covering his head and jerking from the kicks he received. My hands gripped the edge of my desk, knuckles turning white. For a moment, I felt like it was me in the circle, being beat up by a different gang before Shun and the others would show up.

Yankumi suddenly charged into the room, yelling "What the hell are you guys doing?!"

The class quieted as Yankumi broke up the circle and leaned over the kid, helping him up.

"Hey, you okay? You're in Class 3-A, right? Go back to class for now, okay?" she said, nudging him out the door before she turned to us.

"What is this?" she demanded. "Did you hear me? I want an explanation!"

"That kid ratted us out that we were smoking at the arcade last night to the teachers!" Oishi finally said.

"So you guys all ganged up on him…" Yankumi muttered. "You guys are the worst."

"Last time, you were all into the fight, so why the hell are you changing your mind now?!" Minami demanded.

"So you don't tolerate fighting after all," Noda scoffed.

"You guys don't even know why I'm mad at you! This isn't fighting! This is plain violence! I hate stupid things like this! This isn't even a fair fight. You all ganged up on one person and that's exactly what that group of violent high school punks are out doing! You're no better than they are!" Yankumi shouted at the people standing in the circle. She then turned to the rest of us. "And all of you who just sat and watched without stopping them are just as responsible as the ones beating him up!"

I was just as responsible…

"What's the difference between fighting and violence?" Uchi asked slowly.

"Uchiyama," Yankumi said sharply, "are you asking for real?"

"Who would know that?!" he shouted at her.

"Let's go," Noda said, heading for the door.

"Noda!" Kuma shouted.

"Shut up!" Minami yelled, and Uchi kicked a desk over before all of the people who had been beating up the guy walked out with them.

"Uchi, Minami!" Kuma called after them to no avail. I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration before picking up my stuff.

"What happened?" Sawada asked from the back door of the classroom.

The loudspeakers suddenly came on. "Nakajima Kana-san, please report to the nurse's office immediately."

At this timing?! I cursed under my breath.

"Go on, Kuma," I said, pushing both of them out the door. I glanced back at Yankumi, who stood forlornly in the middle of the room. The rest of the class sat there in awkward silence. Why was everything falling apart all at once? A part of me wondered if it was my fault.

After Kuma and Sawada left, I walked into the nurse's office, bracing myself for the worst.

Kawashima turned to me and smiled.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble," she said. "Just take a seat."

I sat tentatively on one of the beds. The whiteness of the walls was unnerving and I shuddered.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay," she began, fiddling with a back scratcher.

Huh? Oh yeah. I had lied about some pervert. Well, Abe was a pervert but that was beside the point.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said quickly. "I'm sorry I ran away. I was really freaked out."

"I'm glad you're okay," she said. "Are you sure you don't want to report it to the police?"

"It's fine," I said, hoping it didn't sound suspicious. "I didn't see the guy's face anyway."

Kawashima nodded. I was about to thank her and leave when she spoke.

"I actually wanted to use this chance to make sure that you knew about protection."

Protection?

I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about until she pressed some condoms into my hand. What?!

"I don't know if they covered any of this stuff at your last school, but I wanted to be sure," she said. "I am the school nurse after all. I know that I'm supposed to tell you not to have sex at all, but that's pointless. This school is full of adolescent guys so let's be real – your chances have gone up compared to an all girls' school. But I promise you that protection is a million times better than getting pregnant at your age."

I was speechless.

"Do you want me to show you how to use that?" she asked. She was so blunt!

"No!" I squeaked, standing up. I couldn't believe she just said that. I jammed the condoms in my pocket.

"I heard you're going out with Abe. You into those wild types? Your class has plenty of those but I'm guessing you didn't want to pick someone you had to see all the time, right?"

I just stared at her. She wasn't being nosy or intrusive, I knew that. But this wasn't something I talked about with anyone, ever.

"Okay, that's all," she said. "I won't tell the other teachers about last night. If you reconsider and feel like reporting the incident to the police, you should."

"Thank you," I said, before fleeing the room.

After trying to pull myself together after that awkward conversation, I decided that I didn't want to go back to the classroom, not after what had happened earlier. I already had my stuff so I decided to leave.

"Ditching?" Abe said, arms folded as he stood in front of the guys' bathroom.

"Abe, I seriously don't have time for this," I said, pushing past him.

"That photo…I haven't deleted it yet," he said. "When are you going to make it up to me?"

"Tomorrow!" I growled at him, biting back my reply of "Never".

"Fine. Oh and you dropped something," he said, leaning over to pick it up. He raised his eyebrows at me, holding up a condom wrapper. "You should have just told me that this is what you were worried about! Clearly, you are not as innocent as I thought. I am so looking forward to tomorrow."

"I hope you choke on something and die," I muttered as I headed for the school gate.

I knew Shun would kill me for ditching again, so I headed for an internet café.

After paying for the hours I'd be there, I walked into my cubicle and slid into the chair.

I closed my eyes and Yankumi's words came rushing back to me.

I was just as responsible…

I had never seen Yankumi so angry with us. But it wasn't just anger…it was disappointment. It was like she expected better from us. And we had failed her expectations. I had also never seen Uchi and Minami and Noda that angry. I was used to them fighting with Sawatari, but to yell at Yankumi?

There was too much happening. Abe, Chiba, Yankumi was part of the mafia, all of 3-D being mad at me and those stupid kids beating people up…I tried falling asleep, but I found that I was too restless. I ended up leaving the internet café early, after mindlessly browsing the internet, and went to the gym instead. It was the only way I knew how to get rid of stress.

I practiced my boxing strikes on a sandbag, ignoring the pain in my arms, until my knuckles were raw. I ended up running on the treadmill afterwards until I physically couldn't anymore.

"Don't push yourself too hard," the guy running next to me had said kindly.

But pushing myself was the only way I knew how to deal with this. I had screwed up so many things, and I had to fix them on my own. At this point, no one would help me even if I asked anyway, but I wouldn't ask for help either way. These were my mistakes. I could take care of myself.

I found out from Kuma later via text that the guys that were beating up the Class 3-A guy had also skipped school because they were pissed at Yankumi. And Yankumi was probably still really pissed at all of us too. What would happen to our class now?

"Stay away from Shinguji," Shun said to me the next morning as I got ready to leave. "Chiba found out that the guys going around beating up people are from there. They got careless and were spotted running away from the scene. We'll deal with them later today."

Shinguji…where had I heard of that before?

I trudged into homeroom, still incredibly sore from working out way too much yesterday, to find that everyone was already there, except for Kuma and Sawada. Everyone was clearly still upset from yesterday. No one spared me a glance.

Suddenly, Yagyu walked in, his arm in a sling and a bandage around his head.

"What happened?!" the class demanded, immediately jumping to their feet.

"I got beat up by that group of with the metal sticks. They're just punks from Shinguji," he said.

I was stunned. Maybe I had been super naive but I never expected that one of my classmates would actually be attacked.

"Those rich preps!" Minami growled.

"Have you told the police about this?" Uchi asked Yagyu, who shook his head. "Alright, then this is our chance to get revenge!" Uchi shouted, raising a fist.

"Wait!" I said, grabbing his arm.

"What?!" he snapped, as the rest were impatient to go.

"You…you can't go," I said.

"So what, are we just going to stand here when our own classmate got beat up?!" Noda demanded.

"What's wrong with getting back at them?!" Minami asked me.

I shook my head. "It isn't right…you can't just all gang up on them…"

There was no way they would be exempt from serious consequences if they went, especially in the name of "getting back" at the guys who hurt Yagyu. And this was a situation I knew too well. It wouldn't end with just one fight. It would lead to another, and another, and another…

But there was no way I could explain to them that Shun would take care of this later.

"Aren't you pissed that a classmate of ours got beat up?!" Shimazu shouted at me.

"Of course I am!" How could they doubt that? "I am…but…"

"She doesn't get it," I heard someone mutter as a ripple of impatient groans went through the class.

"It's because she doesn't consider herself one of us," someone else said, and I froze.

"I mean, she's Abe's girl now," someone agreed. "Why would she associate with us?"

"Besides, it's not like she hangs out with us after school. She has no sense of loyalty to our class."

I was glad I couldn't tell who was making these accusations. I looked helplessly at Uchi, Minami, and Noda. Noda looked at me guiltily, and I realized what he was thinking about. The café…he couldn't tell them…he promised.

"You don't understand!" I shouted at them before Noda could open his mouth.

"No, YOU don't understand!" Uchi said, yanking his arm from my grasp. "I'm sorry, Kana, but this is a guy thing. A girl like you wouldn't understand."

A girl like me…why did everyone insist on pushing onto me their own definitions of what kind of girl I was and should be?

Before I could really think about what I was doing, I grabbed his collar and yanked him towards me.

"What did you say?!" I demanded.

"You don't understand what it's like to be loyal to your friends!" he shouted at me. "You're the one going and sleeping with guys from other classes!"

"What the hell?!" I shouted at him.

"People saw you and Abe in front of a hotel yesterday. Don't even deny it! I can't believe you," he said in disgust. "I thought you were different."

There was a short pause as I looked at him in disbelief before I lunged at him, sure that I had hit him somewhere in the face, before a group of guys held me back. I didn't even have the strength to do anything else. Uchi stared at me from the floor, his skin red from where my fist had grazed his cheek.

"Leave her there!" someone shouted, and I was pushed to the floor before the guys surged out, breaking into a run.

I let my head hit the floor and I closed my eyes, fists still clenched. My knuckles were still smarting, still sensitive from yesterday. Somehow, I knew that it would come to this, when I wouldn't be able to say anything to convince anyone of anything. But I knew that I still had to do something. I reached for my phone.

"Sawada, it's Kana. Yagyu got beat up last night by some Shinguji guys so the class went after them."

"…Kuma did too."

I sat up. "Kuma?"

"He found out that the Shinguji guys' next target is that Ami girl's boyfriend. They're planning to beat the boyfriend up in front of her, so Kuma went to protect her."

At least Kuma's intentions are good, I thought dryly. But I didn't know what to do next.

"I called Yankumi," Sawada's voice cut into my thoughts. "Meet me at the bus stop by the station?"

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure that my being there would help in any way. But if Yankumi could do something...I didn't want to miss it. I couldn't just leave my class, even if none of them trusted me anymore.

Author's Note:

Thank you so much for all of your comments! Even if you're super frustrated with what's happening, it's really helpful for me to read and I really appreciate that feedback!

I was definitely frustrated writing this chapter because it's so much more fun to write about 3-D when they're all getting along and being stupid but having fun together. But all this "conflict" causes people to re-evaluate their relationships and their beliefs, so at least that's interesting.

And the next chapter means Yankumi to the rescue! ^^