Host Club Realities

Author's note: I apologize for the three year gap in posting. My new job in Japan took a lot out of me, and I couldn't even think about writing for fun for a long time. But I've missed writing and I want to start again. I'm a bit rusty, so please forgive me! If you've been reading for a while, thank you so much for your patience. If you're new, I hope you can enjoy my story about Gokusen, which is still such a good drama even if it's been 16 years since it came out!

Recap of this past arc
*3-D wants to do a host club for their school festival, and Kana is put in charge, despite her displeasure and insecurity
*The vice principal Sawatari asks Kana to represent the female students of Shirokin and talk to potentially interested junior high school girls at the festival
*Kana angers Sho by making a remark that host clubs are easy and don't require much work
*Sho turns up at Shirokin the next day to take her to a host club

While I stood in shock in front of the host club, Sho had already gone and knocked on the door. Moments later, a man with unnaturally bright red hair opened the door.

"Sho!" he said with a grin, clasping Sho on the shoulder while shaking his hand.

"Hey Akagi," Sho greeted warmly, "thanks for doing this for us on short notice."

"Anything for a former number one host*!" Akagi said enthusiastically, to which I managed to squeak out a shocked "Number one?!"

Akagi glanced over at me before looking back at Sho. "Is this the girl?" to which Sho nodded. "This is Kana. Kana, this is Akagi, the owner of this business." Akagi walked over to me and slung an arm around my shoulder, a little too close for comfort. "That guy you know simply as Sho was once known as the prince of the night around these parts," he said. "He had ladies falling at his feet every night if you know what I mean."

"Knock it off," Sho said embarrassedly, pulling me towards himself, away from Akagi.

Akagi held up his arms feigning innocence. "I'm just telling her the truth."

I stared up at Sho in disbelief as he stared at his shoes. Sho, a number one host?

"Alright, come inside you two," Akagi said after a pause. He seemed to realize that whatever the reason we were here, it wasn't all fun and games. I was still trying to figure out why we were here. Akagi held open the door and Sho nudged me forwards. A feeling of apprehension suddenly washed over me, not knowing what I was going to see behind the door, and I couldn't will myself to move. Sho suddenly came beside me and offered his hand. I couldn't read the expression on his face, but it was comforting to know that he was here too. I took his hand and he gripped it tightly as we began to walk inside.

At first, the hallway was dark, with small bright blue spotlights leading the way. But suddenly we turned a corner and were hit with bright white lights. We found ourselves in a large room with mirrored walls, black leather couches, and small glass tables. I spotted a huge bar at the end of the room with shelves filled with different colored bottles of all shapes and sizes.

A guy with bright orange hair to rival Minami's was walking up to us. His eyes widened when he saw Sho. "Sho-san!" he exclaimed in awe.

"Hey Tatsu," Sho said warmly. "Sorry I didn't tell you I was coming by."

Tatsu shook his head before looking at me questioningly.

"This is Kana," Sho said. "She's doing a host club for her school festival. I wanted to show her what a real host club was like."

Oh. So that was what we were doing here.

Akagi put a hand on Tatsu's shoulder. "Tatsu here is the number one host at this club. He would be the best person to follow around throughout his routine. Tatsu, you don't mind, do you?"

"No problem!" Tatsu said with a smile.

"I'll be in the office if you need me," Akagi said, leaving us with a wave.

"Tatsu used to be one of the trainees when I was working as a host," Sho said to me. "And look where he is now."

"I had the best teacher," Tatsu insisted without missing a beat. Sho just laughed and shook his head. "So some of the preparation is done already," Tatsu began, walking through the middle of the room and motioning us to follow. "We all chip in to help clean the room before and after every work day. It keeps us feeling responsible for our own workspace." As he spoke, I saw some other host-like guys walking around the room, wiping down tables.

The rest of the preparations flew by in a blur. After watching the men set up for the night, we sat in on a couple of meetings between Akagi-san and the rest of the staff who ran everything behind the scenes, and the hosts themselves. Akagi-san explained that all communication had to be perfect between all members at the club if they were to make the customers happy. We were then taken by Tatsu to a special boutique where he picked out his clothes for the night, before going to a designated salon to get his hair styled and even have some makeup applied. I was stunned at how much work went into just preparing for the night, and it was only eight o'clock when Tatsu said goodbye to us so Sho and I could have dinner.

Sho and I walked in silence towards Sho's restaurant. There were so many things I wanted to say but didn't know how. The sky was already dark, and the nightlife in Ikebukuro was coming to life. Sho expertly weaved through the alleyways and we finally came to the traditional-looking entrance way that I had gone through a few times in the past.

"Wait here," Sho said before disappearing into the restaurant.

I checked my phone. Texts from the group. One phone call from Uchi. My finger hovered over return call before I quickly tapped a different person.

"Yeah?" Sawada answered.

"Can you tell them I'm alright?"

"You sure you're good?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Thanks."

I hung up. Sawada wouldn't ask questions. I knew that. Questions were the last thing I needed right now when I had so many of my own.

"We're good," Sho said, sticking his head out from the entranceway. "Come in."

"Irasshaimase*!" voices called out as I stepped through the wooden panel doorway.

"Kana-chan, it's been a while!" the head chef, Takada-san, greeted me warmly from where he stood in the center of the open kitchen as I slid the door behind me. I bowed my head in greeting before Sho ushered me to a quieter corner of the counter. We were still surrounded by the sound of cooking and orders being called out and the usual chatter during the busy dinner hour but somehow, it all became background noise and I thought about what I would even say to Sho during dinner.

"I'm sure you have lots of questions," Sho said finally after we had ordered.

I took a breath and bowed my head. "Before that, I want to apologize first. I really had no idea how much effort goes into a host club, and for me to dismiss it as easy and not worth working hard on was unfair of me. I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry for overreacting," Sho said with a sigh. "How were you supposed to know all this anyway? Especially with the kind of reputation host clubs have...I guess it's more of a sensitive topic to me than I was expecting and I couldn't contain my anger. Sorry." As he said this, he patted the top of my head gently, and I let out a sigh of relief.

At that moment, our first appetizer came, and it broke the initial tension from when we came into the restaurant.

"Alright, hit me with your questions," Sho said as we dug into our food.

"Number one host?" I immediately asked.

Sho rolled his eyes. "How did I know that would be first? That Akagi bastard…" he muttered. "What can I say? I am an overachiever."

That he was...I wasn't sure how to approach the next bit. "Then...why did you quit?"

Sho was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "The thing about host clubs is that you make the customer happy by showering them with compliments and spending time with them. If you're good, they'll forget for even just a moment that they're paying you to do this. And I was good. Women started asking more and more for me and I even began to see some of them outside of work hours. But I couldn't shake the feeling that my entire job was built on lies, especially because…" he trailed off.

At first, I didn't get what he was saying until he spoke again.

"To be a host, you have to give one hundred percent of yourself. You can't halfass the job. I told you before how my parents kicked me out and I failed out of school, right? So this was all I had. But the guilt and doubt was already eating away at me, when one night, I saw a host from a different club getting beaten so badly by his own fellow hosts and club staff that he had to go to the hospital. I'll never forget the way he looked, blood covering his face as he tried to protect himself but could only lay there as they stomped on him. I wanted to help him but I couldn't move. That's the thing about society right? They act concerned but they don't actually want to get involved in other people's problems," Sho said, laughing bitterly.

"Why were they beating him up?" I asked hesitantly.

Sho continued, "The official story was that he made unwanted advances toward a woman, but it came out later that it was towards a man. And the host club members had nearly killed the host over it. I began to have nightmares that my own host club would find out that I was questioning my sexuality…"

Oh. That's right...as far as I knew, most if not all patrons of host clubs were women, so if a host were to be gay…

"My anxiety began affecting my behavior at work, and I was constantly being yelled at after work every night for my mistakes. I couldn't even look the other men in the eyes fearing that they would know. One night, I was threatened with being fired, had enough, got super drunk and walked toward an overpass intending to end my life. It was better to off myself first than for others to find out."

I had already been listening quietly, but I was completely stunned into silence. I couldn't imagine the kind and confident man I had grown to trust was someone who had at one point hated himself so much that he wanted to die.

"...what happened?" I half-whispered when the silence continued.

Sho drank some of his beer before answering. "Shun found me, sitting and crying on the overpass. He came and sat next to me, and talked about about random things as I cried. Before I realized it, I had stopped crying and was listening to his voice. And then he held out his hand and asked if I wanted a second chance to turn my life around."

I suddenly had a flashback to me slumped in an alleyway, Shun crouched in front of me, hand extended and saying the same words as he had offered Sho.

"At the time, I had no idea why I accepted," Sho said with a laugh. "But I know now that I wanted to be happy with who I was, and I wasn't. But Shun would ask just the right questions, and living in that house with all those men who were trying and succeeding at starting fresh…it gave me hope. In exchange for staying at the house, Shun asked me to cook a couple nights a week, and I started to enjoy it. So I went back to work at the host club at night while studying at a cooking school during the day. My life was twice as busy, but I was finally feeling more fulfilled. And I still managed to get number one at the host club during that time," he said with a grin. "I really think it's because a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I didn't have to live a lie for the rest of my life, even if I wasn't ready to share it with the rest of the world yet. And I could still listen to customers talk about their problems and offer my support, even if it wasn't really romantic."

"...Wow," was all I could manage to say. I saw Sho's expression light up from the moody and dark one he had shown during the earlier part of his story, and I knew that he had changed. And that I was lucky to know Sho as he was now.

Sho smiled at me. "I know that was a lot. But I'm glad I got to tell you about it."

"Thanks for telling me," I said, knowing that all this information about Sho's background was confidential and private and precious. He didn't have to tell me, yet he brought me all the way out here and he did. A few tears sprang to my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't cry," Sho said, squeezing my shoulder. "Takada-san would grill me alive for making you cry at the restaurant. Besides, the best part is yet to come."

And with that, I was whisked back to the host club which had been transformed into a completely different place in just a couple of hours. The lights were dim, with sparkly floor lights and expertly placed chandeliers and candles glowing around the room. The entranceway was decorated with beautiful flower arrangements, and the music was upbeat but not overpowering, creating an exciting atmosphere. Sho and I sat in one corner observing the hosts work their magic. I could see the staff moving quickly from table to table, ushering both guests and hosts around at a moments notice. The hosts were expertly conversing with their guests, greeting them by name and asking for updates about whatever they had discussed last time. I looked at Sho, wide-eyed that they were remembering so much information about each guest. They were going so far out of their way to make the women comfortable and have a good time, saying compliment after compliment and drinking endlessly.

The women who came in wore gorgeous clothing and seemed to eat up everything the hosts were saying. At first, I felt a bit of pity for them as they were clearly enamored by these men that they had to pay for this kind of attention. But as the night went on, I saw that there was a lot of trust between the women and the hosts, and that both parties seemed to actually both be enjoying it. And if it was an act, I couldn't tell...but surprisingly, I understood that this host club, despite all the negative things about host clubs, was a safe place for these women. And at the very least, these women were grown-ups who were choosing to spend their well-earned money here, and who was I to judge.

Tatsu dropped by our table, giving us a few minutes of his precious number-one status time. Everything he said made me laugh and feel more comfortable, despite how out of place I felt at a place like this. Other hosts dropped by our table to greet Sho and I was called cute more times than I had ever in my life, but luckily Sho put a stop to that when he saw me squirming. But he did embarrass me by having the hosts sing me a song while making a special non-alcoholic cocktail for me.

Sho ended our night early, knowing it was a school day for me the next day. I thanked Tatsu and Akagi-san profusely. Tatsu even gave me his card with a wink, telling me to call him up if I needed more help with our school festival's host club. My head was spinning with ideas and information, and I couldn't even talk to Sho on the way home because of it all.

Back at home, I sat on my bed, staring at the photo pinned to my wall. I wasn't really one for keeping too many sentimental items, but Nomura-san down at the bookstore insisted that he take a photo of us after Sho, Shun and I helped him move some furniture around and reshelve his books last spring. Shun was flashing a cheesy smile while Sho had his arm around my neck in a choke hold while I glared at him. Nomura-san had printed several copies of the photo for us and brought them over. Not knowing what to really do with mine, I had found a random pin lying around and used it to stick the photo on my wall.

As I stared at Sho's mischievous grin, I couldn't help but feel like I didn't know him at all. I knew he kept his past private, but everything that he had revealed to me today was making me question all of the memories I had with him. Mostly how the positive and encouraging guy that I knew could have gone through such a dark time and still smile at the end of it.

I knew I couldn't waste this experience. I would need to commit one-hundred percent to this.

And I was going to start with my hair.

The next morning, I arrived at school extra early and headed straight to the teacher's room.

Even from outside, I could hear Sawatari's loud condescending voice.

"Yamaguchi-sensei, your class is the ONLY one that hasn't submitted their school festival idea!"

I took a deep breath before I slammed open the door.

"Ms. Nakajima, we're currently in the middle of a meeting!" Washio nearly shrieked.

Yankumi came up to me as I approached the teachers anyway. "Kana, your hair. And your uniform!"

Yes, I had come prepared. I was wearing the full Shirokin female uniform, ribbon and all, minus my usual leggings, had taken out my piercings and dyed my hair completely black.

"Sawatari Vice Principal, I will be the female representative of the school on the day of the festival," I said, staring straight at him.

He broke into his toothy smile. "Why how wonderfu-"

"On one condition," I interrupted. Toothy smile froze.

"What's that?"

"You let 3-D do whatever they wish for their school festival idea."

"What?! Ridiculous!" Washio said as Sawatari seemed to contemplate my proposal.

There was silence in the room as the teachers looked between me and Sawatari.

"Very well," Sawatari said finally.

I looked pointedly at all of the teachers to make sure they all heard.

"3-D will do a host club."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Washio roared as Sawatari's jaw dropped and the teachers around him began exclaiming.

I looked at Fujiyama especially. She had her arms crossed and she was watching me carefully. It was all up to her now.

"I think it's a great idea!" Kawashima exclaimed, causing the male teachers to hush. "3-D always pulls through when they're enthusiastic about something! Remember the English test?" At this point, she slightly elbowed Fujiyama. I shot her an appreciative glance.

"It could be really interesting," Fujiyama began slowly. She clapped her hands together. "The boys will have to be on their absolute best behavior in order to make it succeed anyway! It will clean up the image that people have of Shirokin students!"

Sawatari's eyes twitched.

"If there are ANY problems…"

"Then I will take responsibility!" Yankumi cut in. "I will take 100% responsibility!"

We all looked at her surprised. I knew she was supportive, but this supportive?

"I will not forget those words, Ms. Yamaguchi!" Sawatari said. He turned to me. "I will contact you shortly about your responsibilities on the day of the festival."

"Fine." I said, heading for the door. I couldn't believe that had worked, all thanks to Yankumi.

A hush fell across the room when I slid open the door.

"Your hair!" Noda finally exclaimed.

"And legs!" Minami said, only to be smacked on the head with a magazine by Uchi.

"I have an announcement," I said, ignoring them. The class straightened up. "I got permission from Sawatari to do the host club."

The guys all looked at each other for a moment before bursting into cheers. They crowded around me, patting my head and slapping my shoulder and exclaiming that I was the best.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted, but I couldn't help grinning.

"Alright, alright," Uchi said over the crowd, making them leave me alone.

"We have a lot to do before the day of, so I hope you're willing to put in the work to make this work," I said, pulling out a to-do list from my school bag and pinning it to the blackboard.

"Yes sir!" they all shouted, scrambling to call dibs on jobs.

I headed to my seat as they all shouted over each other. Noda and the others gave me high fives as I sat down.

"Not bad," Sawada said.

"Was that a compliment?" I asked in mock astonishment.

He rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Is everything okay since yesterday?" Uchi asked quietly.

I looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"No problem," he said, but his smile didn't quite meet his eyes.

Before I could say anything, Yankumi burst into the room. "You guys are so amazing! Kana is the greatest leader!" she said, beaming proudly.

They all whooped and started applauding me.

"Let's get to work," Yankumi said.

Author's note:

*number one host: In Host clubs, there's a ranking system. Whoever brings in the most money for their club (eg. getting customers to buy expensive drinks, being chosen specifically by the customers to be their host for the night, etc.) gets the number one title as long as they generate the most profit.

*Irasshaimase: means "welcome to our shop/restaurant". Most shops/restaurants will say this as you enter their establishment, but at restaurants, they often shout it out in unison.

*Cultural note: Host clubs are still a thing in Japan, but is often more popular with women in similar businesses (hostess clubs, late night establishments, etc.) rather than regular women. It seems really glamorous and frivolous, but it's quite a unique and complex industry. For a small taste, VICE has a great documentary called "Boyfriend for Hire in Japan" on Youtube. Another one is "Great happiness space", which shows a more gritty side of it.

Thanks for reading. Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to update. My life has been quite crazy adjusting to life in Japan, but it's been great. And 3 years later, I am still absolutely in love with Gokusen's story. So I hope you enjoy the rest of this story, even if it takes me a while to continue posting. As always, I appreciate any comments/reactions and I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you!

Reisa