Waiting for Someone Who Never Came (Chapter twelve)
/I really wish Michelle would just crawl back under whatever rock she came from. I have no interest in spending "quality time" with the woman who abandoned me. I would rather eat dirt. I just want things back to the way they were before she showed up. Nathan and I were happy and he wasn't constantly worrying about me. I mean, I'm grateful that he's concerned and cares so much, but I really don't think it's that necessary/
Nathan and Haley were inside of a restaurant. Nathan leaned over and met Haley in a small kiss. "I'll be right back," he said, getting up and leaving.
"Don't be too long," Haley said. Nathan just smiled at her. A few seconds later, Michelle Caine came out of nowhere and sat down in one of the three vacant chairs.
"Do you mind?" Haley demanded. Michelle looked at her pleadingly.
"I just want to talk to you, Haley," she said. "Please just hear me out," she added.
"Fine," Haley said, folding her arms across her chest in annoyance.
"I really want to just be in your life, Haley. I would like for us to get to know each other," Michelle said.
"I'm sorry but I think it's too late for that," Haley said.
"Well, I hope you'll reconsider. Even after all this time, I feel like your mother," Michelle said. Haley frowned.
"Lydia James was my mother," Haley said stiffly.
"I know that. Lydia and Jimmy raised you. But I carried you for nine months and I gave birth to you. Seeing you again has made me realize that I never got over losing you," Michelle said. Haley narrowed her eyes.
"And it took you nineteen years to figure that out?" Haley asked.
"When I realized that I couldn't keep you, I was heartbroken. I knew what I had to do and it was the hardest thing I've ever done," Michelle said. By that time, Nathan had reappeared. He sat down in his seat and was about to tell Michelle to leave when Haley leaned forward and glared at Michelle.
"Let's get one thing straight: You did not lose me. You abandoned me," Haley said. Michelle started to shake her head but Haley nodded. "You did. You threw me away by choice. You're not a martyr. You didn't sacrifice what you wanted and give me to better people. You didn't care about me. You saw me as a problem that needed to be dealt with. You were selfish; plain and simple."
"No. I realized that you were better off without me," Michelle said.
"And I still am," Haley retorted.
"Look, I didn't expect that you would throw your arms around me and call me 'mommy'," Michelle started. Haley snorted. "But I did hope that you would not shut the door. Please don't rule me out of your life."
"You were never in my life to begin with," Haley reminded her.
"Hales, do you want to leave?" Nathan asked.
"No," Haley said. Then she turned to Michelle. "I want you to leave."
"Haley," Michelle began.
"Now," Haley demanded. Michelle sighed and got up and left. A few minutes later, Nathan cleared his throat.
"Maybe you should give her a chance," Nathan said quietly. Haley looked up at him.
/Right away I knew it was the wrong thing to suggest. I just felt so bad for Michelle. She looked so defeated. I can't exactly blame her for wanting to get to know Haley. Haley is a wonderful person. I love her to death and I hate to see her in so much pain. But I think that if she really gave Michelle a chance and started to get to know her, she wouldn't be so miserable./
"She had her chance but she gave me up," Haley said.
"Everyone makes mistake," Nathan offered.
"So I should just forgive and forget, right?" Haley asked.
"Maybe," he said. Haley shook her head. Nathan put his hand on her shoulder. "Why?"
"Because I went through hell at that orphanage," Haley said. Nathan straightened. It was the first time she had opened up about her time at the orphanage. He knew it couldn't have been a picnic there but Haley had usually shrugged it off.
"What happened?" he asked.
"A lot of things," Haley said.
"Haley," he said.
"I can't talk about it here, Nathan," she said, gesturing to the openness of the restaurant. He nodded.
Three hours later…
They were lying in Haley's bed wrapped in each other's arms. Haley rested her head against Nathan's chest. "Please tell me," he said.
"You're going to think its ridiculous," Haley said. Nathan brushed a hand through her hair.
"Haley, if it's got you this upset, it cannot be ridiculous. Please, just let me in," he said.
"Every Sunday at the orphanage, they would make us dress in our best clothes. They would stand us in a line for hours waiting to be chosen by families who had come to adopt," Haley started. She paused for a minute. Nathan kept massaging her back, urging her to continue.
"It's okay. You can tell me," he said. Haley sighed.
"For five years, I wouldn't do it. I'd wear the rattiest clothes I could find and I would always frown. I didn't want to be chosen because I held onto the belief that someday my mom would come back for me," Haley said. Her voice was breaking and Nathan pulled her closer against him.
"What changed?" he asked.
"Nothing. I did it every Sunday. Then, my mom and dad came in one day. My mom stopped at me and smiled. She brought my dad over and they both stared at me while still smiling. Then my mom said, 'She is definitely a James'," Haley said. Nathan laughed. That sounded like a Lydia James thing to do. "And that's when I knew that I was home."
"Even though you still thought Michelle was going to come and get you," he said. Haley scoffed.
"I realized that she would never look at me like my mom did. My mom looked at me as if she'd been searching for me for years," Haley said. Nathan understood what she meant. Lydia had only been searching for a day. Michelle had actually been away from Haley for years and had not once come looking for her.
"I understand," he said.
"Believe me. If I had known it was Michelle I was waiting for, I would have cleaned up. I never will give her a chance," Haley said.
/So I change my mind. I want Michelle to stay away from Haley after realizing how disappointed and hurt Haley must have gotten when Michelle never came those Sundays. I just wish I could take all of Haley's pain away/
"Nathan," Haley said.
"Yeah," he said.
"Thank you," she said. He looked down at her. "For listening to me and being here."
"I love you, Haley," he said, feeling that that explained everything.
"I love you too," Haley said and snuggled closer against him.
The next morning...
Nathan woke up and smiled when he saw Haley still sleeping in his arms. He kissed her lightly on the head and then his cell phone rang. He reached over, careful not to disturb Haley and answered it. "Hello?" he whispered.
"Nathan, come to the hospital now!" Lucas' panicked voice rang out from the other end.
"Lucas, slow down. What's going on?" he asked.
"It's Dad. He had a stroke. You need to get here quickly," Lucas said. Nathan hung up and woke Haley. He got up, took a shower and came back into her room to find her laying a pair of her jeans and shirt on her bed next to the clothes he had taken out of the drawer he had at her apartment.
"Hales, what are you doing?" he asked, looking at her clothes.
"Laying my clothes out for after my shower," Haley replied matter of factly.
"Wh..." he started but Haley just came over and kissed him.
"I'm coming to the hospital with you," she said.
"Haley, that's really nice, but you don't have to..." he began. He wanted her to come but he didn't want her to have to deal with his family situation on top of her own.
"Don't be ridiculous, Nathan. Of course I do. I love you," she said, offering up the same reason he had for being there for her. He kissed her in response.
"I love you too," he said.