Chapter VI: Sex and Carvings
Flesh on flesh, breath on breath, stroke for stroke, moan for moan. Beneath him, he could clearly feel every movement, relish every enjoyable caress, hear every tantalizing groan.
Well I'm a man of many wishes
She parted her ruby lips, whispering incoherent mumurings at every movement he made. Liquid fire seemed to rush through their veins as they fell deeper and deeper in the abyss. Both had their eyes glazed, she because she was long since lost in the heightened emotions, and he because he wanted... to forget.
Hope my premonition misses
Silence filled his world as he suddenly heard the rush of waves crashing as he prepared himself. Eyes glazing over, he could not help but stifle the whimper that almost broke out. It's been so long since he's had a woman under him that it almost seemed like a new experience. Almost... until she whispered.
But what I really feel my eyes won't let me hide
Jerking up as though splashed with cold water, he pushed her away, stumbling off the bed.
"What did you just say?" Enishi snarled, grabbing his head as though a headache descended upon him.
Cause they always start to cry
Confused, she merely stared at him dumbly, infuriating him all the more as he rushed up to her grabbing her left arm in a vice-like grip.
"What. did. you. say!" He demanded, refusing to back down.
Staring up at him with fear written in her eyes, she clutched the blankets to her breasts, afraid of the demon that seemed to be showing its face to her. She had heard the rumours of him and his diabolical side, but she never believed them, thinking that the perfect albeit a little too cool gentleman was merely being maligned. Now she saw the truth in those words.
"I said your name."
Cause this time could mean goodbye
~
"Hey! Did you hear me!"
There she stood in front of him in all her glory - eyes blazing, arms akimbo with the fiercest glare she could ever muster. But he knew that the angel in her would never hurt him or reprimand him... well, at least not that badly, he hoped.
"Yes? What did you say, ma'am?" He answered languidly, merely tilting his head up to match her irritated gaze. It was probably the lazy feel of the afternoon, or the heat of the day that made his reflexes slower than they used to be, because he was not fast enough to dodge her hand as she smacked the back of his head.
"I asked you where your homework is!" Stopping the smack, she turned, instead, to pulling his ear. She was fortunate that they were both in the corner of the gardens, hidden by the massive willow tree as its graceful hanging limbs shelter the two forbidden lovers.
Grimacing with a chuckle, he turned his head slightly, and grabbed her vengeful hand, kissing her palm.
"If you asked nicely, I'll tell you..." The twinkle in his eyes were not missed, definitely not when she was in such close proximity to them.
"Tell me where it is, mister!" She growled out the last words refusing to back down. How could she? Not when she was carrying two roles, the girlfriend, but more importantly, the teacher.
"Ah-ah!" He pulled her down as she tried to move away from him. "I only want one thing from you..."
Futilely wrestling herself from his grasp, she stopped struggling when she realised that he had no intention on letting her win. Too determined, too stubborn, the bull-headed teacher has finally met her match. Mournfully sighing, she bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
Smirking up at her, he whispered into her ear so she felt his warm breaths puffing on her lobe.
"I merely wanted you to stop calling me 'mister' and call me by my name, but this is much better."
Outrage at his trickery, she wrenched her hand from his grip, huffing indignantly.
"How would I know that? You were acting so perverted! 'Sides, you hate it when others call you by name!"
Seeing her turn from annoyed to angry, he could not help but feel the burst of affection blossoming from his heart, threatening to break free from his lips. But no. He was not a man of words. So he pulled her into his arms, crushing him with the intensity of the moment more than his strength.
"No, no one else can say it but you. Because my name is who I am, and only you understand."
Feeling her arms quietly, gently, softly snake around him, he suddenly had a strange sense of completion. Yes, all that he needed was in that moment, was in his arms.
"I... I never knew... Enishi."
And from that moment on, she never called him anything else.
~
Lying back down on the bed, he stared out the window. This was not the same bed where he nearly had his sexual romp. No, he always brought the women to the other room. That room was reserved for such a purpose, to satiate his needs, but never intruding upon himself. This room that he was in was the one where he work, he relaxed, he slept, he was himself. And only one woman would ever have the chance to enter it. Strangely enough, the other room never fulfilled its purpose. Because even while he was filled with the urge, the need, the want, his heart was never fooled by his head.
Dating girls with the same stature, the same coloured hair, the same shade of blue in their eyes, no matter what he did, he could never pull the wool over his weary heart. It could always tell the difference between those younger girls who was after him, and that one woman who already had him. So no matter how inebriated or tired he was, he never managed to complete the act.
Cursing his irrational heart, he raked his hand through his hair. If only that half-witted girl did not say his name! He was that close to doing the deed, that close to doing the one act that would forever break him away from her.
~
When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
~
God, he could not help but implore any deity that existed to bring him out of his misery. Wasn't there any cure for love? Any way of relieving the pain and burdens off from his aching heart?
~
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me
~
And he knew how God could help him. God could return him to his youth. Return him to that moment in time when he was happiest, with her beside him. She would hold his hand, laugh with him, lift his spirits, hug him, teach him more than just things that were in the textbooks. She brought him the knowledge of how beautiful the world could be.
If only...
~
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
~
If only she were here with me.
"You can do it. You have the strength inside of you. Don't ever look back, don't ever think that you don't matter, because more than anything else in the world, you do. So just go..."
He could still hear her words, the ones she said before he left. The only person who ever believed in him.
"... go and make your dreams come true."
~
You raise me up...
To more than I can be
~
Without her, he would have never defied his father, never have started his own gallery presenting his art work. No, without her, he would have been just another crooked business man in the harsh world. He would have been lost in the tide of dollars and cents, forgetting the one true thing that matters - his dreams.
Tomorrow he was going to showcase the new batch of carvings dedicated entirely to her. Despite the heartache that she brought on, he was grateful for the love that she showered on him.
Enishi more than remembered those days while he still felt the intensity of his emotions – love, adoration, admiration, infatuation, jealousy, anger, spite, hatred all rolled into one. Yes. He felt a great deal of anger and hatred. Even once, he believed that he would never love again. Doubting love and its gift, he made himself believe that Kaoru no longer existed, if only to dull the ache in his heart.
~
Sweeping the books and paper off his desk, Enishi screamed in frustration. She just left the house, barely maintaining eye contact with him as she left. But it didn't make him feel any better. He knew how her reaction would be, being the cool and rational person, Enishi had already anticipated the outcome. Yet knowing that something would happen, never quite prepared you for the moment that it did.
The servants ignored him, going about their work and avoiding his room at all costs. They had long since known the consequences of stepping into their Young Master's rage, and none of them were willing to tempt fate once more.
His wrath reached his shelf as he flung his heavy and cumbersome dictionaries, textbooks and autobiographies to join their counterpart on the floor. His anger so great, even the decorative memoribilias that his parents bought for him from their trips overseas were smashed and broken, lying in their grisly demise on the ground.
One by one he methodically destroyed all semblance of neatness and normalcy of his life as he went on a destructive rampage throughout his room. The noise reached the ground floor and even the gardens, yet no one seemed to notice or acknowledge it.
"NO!"
His cry of despair pierced through the storm shocking every person listening on. And just as soon as the hurricane began, it ended as well. More than a little surprised, the servants dared to venture outside Enishi's room. Pushing and jostling each other, they dared Enishi's nursemaid to open the door and take a glimpse into the tiger's lair.
Just as they expected, the room, though quiet, was evidence of Enishi's fury. A war has occurred in the room, between his sanity and his rage. Yet it seemed that his rational side has temporarily won because he was crumpled on the floor surrounded by the debris of the previous storm. Cradled tenderly in his arms was a carving that they saw him working on. The only one that was different.
Witnessing his loving gesture as he held it gently to himself, they could not see the significance behind the action. Neither did they see the art piece break in half from his fury earlier.
And as they closed the door behind them, they missed the two tracks of tears cascading down his cheeks, finding their way from his eyes, straight into his heart.
~
He knew that she merely thought of him as a passerby in her life, a wanderer just waiting for the right moment to return to his travels. Still, he could not help but continue holding a part of his heart for her. A corner that only belonged to her.
And so in the midst of his anger, he learnt the art of burying. It was in that burial that he exhumed his love, trading it for ashes and the remains of his art pieces.
~
You raise me up...
~
Yes, the exhibition is for her. And it would be the final resting place of his heart. Filled with memories of their times together, the wooden blocks that he spent his days whittling away, giving his love some shape and form. Only for her. Only for her.
He would showcase and sell the final pieces of his love for her, and lay them to their eternal slumber there. This was his tribute to the woman who made him who he was. The woman who stole into his heart and removed all pain and loss, replacing it with something uplifting and beautiful. But never again.
Tomorrow... tomorrow was the swan song of his love.
What would she have said, had she heard of this? You did it, I knew it! or What took you so long? or Dreams have always been in your grasp, it's just waiting for you... But it didn't matter, he knew she would be pleased anyway.
~
"'Nishi..."
"Mmm?" He murmured languidly as he leaned against the tree trunk while embracing her loosely.
She turned to him, willing him to open his eyes and regard her seriously. But he didn't, merely continuing his visual trek of the setting sun in the horizon.
"Would you be angry with me if we couldn't be together?"
"That would depend."
"On what?"
"Why you left me."
"What makes you think that I would be the one leaving?"
For the first time, he turned to her, peering into her eyes, straight into her soul.
"Because, Kaoru-koishii, I could never leave you, not even if I tried."
~
Continue starting at the wall, he wondered. Since when did he care about her anyway?
Gulping down the Merlot in his hand, he slammed the glass back on his night table and turned to sleep.
Tomorrow... it would all be over tomorrow.
~
... to more than I can be.
~
Tsuzuku
A/N: Yes, Enishi is trying to forget. For those who have read the little spoiler on my Blog, note: I've added new scenes here! Hope that you like them! And to my reviewers I'm sorry that I couldn't personally email everyone of you, I was much too tired trying to churn this chapter out in time, I hope that this is compensation enough! Blame it on my head, not my heart!
MissBehavin: Yes, thanks to a wonderful reviewer who advised me do d/l Open Office, I got it back! I don't quite believe that a broken heart lasts for such a short time. Because like every loss, you never lose it, it only dulls with time. I love that line, being surrounded with people, yet being lonely. That's what I want to bring across, you're such a wonderful reader that I sometimes don't need to explain so many things out because you understand it all. Another thing is, I'd like to show how people, ordinary people who you never take note of, actually have their own story to tell, all you have to do, is to listen. The ending should be satisfactory, because I'm having a hard time melding realism with my softer side. We'll see who wins in the end!
Wistful Eyes: Have I ever mentioned how much I love your nick? It's strange to be writing it here of all places, but as I typed it, it makes me all the more appreciate it. 5 years apart, that's actually my limit. In real life, I think that if I date a guy who's up to 5 years younger than me, I can take it, anymore and I'd feel like I'm robbing the cradle. ^_^ And KT naughtiness? Well, I don't think I can do that, but there's a little explicit stuff here, hope you don't mind! And whether they'll meet? I'll try to make as many reviews come true as I can!
FHB: Eheheheh I nearly wrote your name as FHM which is (in case you haven't heard of it) a men's magazine. Yeah, something like that kind of magazine. Sorry. Anyway, I loved your story, keep writing, and let me know if there's anything I can do to improve this story!
Randomxthoughts: Thanks for your review! Do you suppose this is a quick enough update? Let me know what you think about this chapter, it's not that difficult to write, but it's decidedly harder than my other ones, cos I'm trying to keep Enishi in character, as in characers as a new era, a new world, a new surrounding can realistically bring about!
Belledaynight: Not much poetry! Actually the bold and italicised words are song lyrics. I'm just too lazy to write who it was done by, cos more often than not, I'm using more than one song. However, if you're interested, drop me a note so I'll email you the names of the songs and the singers as well. Hope that you enjoyed this chapter as much as you did my previous one!
Firuze Kharume: Wow, what does your name mean? It's so unique! Thank you so much for your kind words, it's really touched me a great deal. Being the person that I am, what I crave more than anything else, is confirmation that I'm doing something right. Writing on ffnet where there are so many other brilliant writers makes me nervous and anxious as well, but having you, you, tell me that I have something going, is a wonderful compliment, I'm grateful for your stamp of approval. I hope that you find this chapter still amusing after so many reads on my LJ! Have you spotted the new scenes? Let me know if it reeks of Enishi, because that was the idea!
Kimiko5: I love that story a great deal, but actually, no. It's not based on Majo no Jouken, though I must say the tv drama was what piqued my interest in teacher-student relationships. But I haven't even watched a single episode, though I do know the story. If any of the scenes do match, it would be a great surprise, do let me know if that has happened!
[Unnamed]: No, I don't think that Enishi would search for her. Despite the fact that there was quite a lot of fics done like that, the Enishi in my mind has left her, and he believes that she wanted him to leave her, so he won't put himself back in that situation anymore. But whether they'll bump into each other...? It's anybody's guess.
Dustyfall: I think you're the only one who says 'Happy Writing' and that's the closest to the truth that you can ever get! It's true, I love writing this story, and it's such a joy to see it posted up. This one is not as emotional as the previous one, though the outburst is quite close to it. It's actually one of my favourite scenes to write and read. What do you think? Which would you think is your favourite scene? Drop me a note and let me know!
Monou Hakkai: Nah, you're not slow. It's just that I always have this way of writing where I think that everyone's thinking the same thing as me, so I always assume that they understand what I'm writing, so I don't have to concentrate on making them understand what I'm writing, and concentrate on the style of writing as well as my plot development. Sorry. I'll try to think more of the readers the next time I write! I personally like the idea of hand raking through a person's hair. Mostly because I like it when someone does that, to himself, or when someone does that to me. I have to stop myself from purring like a cat! And it's most definitely a reminder of him. Kaoru never allows herself to forget, be it 5 or 10 years, she doesn't really want to forget those wonderful months she spent with him. Hopefully there'll be a happy ending!
~Haruko