Purrfectly Normal Behavior Chapter 2: You Asked for It, a ranma fanfic

Purr-fectly Normal Behavior – Part 2
by Juliet Carnell
based on Ranma ½ by Takahashi Rumiko & Aishiteruze Baby by Maki Youko

"Satsuki," said his father in an agitated voice, "exactly where is this restaurant anyway? We've been walking a very long time. I think we must be in Furinkan already."

The entire Katakura family was walking together with Satsuki in the lead. His grandparents were at a weekly Mahjong game, so they had not joined in this trek across Nerima in search of ramen, but there was one addition. Kippei had talked his latest girlfriend Kokoro into coming along.

"It's not much further, I promise." Satsuki said with a grin. His older sister had been bugging him about this place ever since he let slip that Yuzuyu's cat friend Shampoo belonged to a waitress. So he had agreed to show her where it was and the rest of the family had insisted on coming along. If his suspicions were correct, this family outing would soon turn into something very interesting indeed.

Yuzuyu seemed to be enjoying the walk. Her eyes darting from one bright neon sign to another as they all strolled down the unfamiliar shopping street. When they passed one shop in particular the little girl shouted excitedly, "Ice cream! Yuzuyu wants ice cream!"

Kippei, who had been walking with Yuzuyu on one side and Kokoro on the other, looked down and said, "Not yet Yuzuyu, first we have dinner. Then maybe we can get ice cream. Okay?"

"No!" Yuzuyu said defiantly, "I want ice cream!"

"But don't you want to see where Shampoo-chan lives first?" Kippei said with a grin.

"Shampoo-chan! Yeah! Yuzuyu wants to see Shampoo-chan!"

Suzuko looked at her mother and smiled, "You've got to love the attention span of a five-year old."

Her mother laughed, "Yes, but it so rarely works to an adult's advantage."

Satsuki stopped and turned to face everyone, "Okay, this is it." He pointed to the sign over the doors of a small shop in the middle of the block.

"The Cat Café," Suzuko read the sign aloud.

"Do you think they named it for of Shampoo-chan?" asked her mother.

"Let's hope so," her father said as he scrutinized the menu taped to the window.

o o o

Shampoo was cleaning off a table with her back to the door when she heard the bell ring announcing the arrival of more customers. "Nihou, welcome to…" was as far as she got through her usual greeting before she turned to find Satsuki holding the door open for a thin girl with light brown hair. Coming through the door right behind the girl was Kippei, Suzuko and the whole Katakura family.

Using every speed technique in the Amazon arsenal, Shampoo disappeared from the dining room and plastered herself against the wall of the kitchen. Mousse looked up from his cooking and seeing a white blob topped with a purple blob rightly guessed who it was.

"Shampoo? Didn't a customer just come in? Cologne's going to throw a fit if you don't get them seated right away."

Shampoo just shook her head violently back and forth. What in the world was the whole family doing here? "Shampoo not do. Mousse go out, tell them Cat Café closed!"

"I can't do that! There'd be duck ramen on tomorrow's menu for sure if I told a customer to go away."

"Don't worry about it Mousse," Cologne said hopping in from the dinning room. She faced Shampoo from the doorway, "That's the whole family, isn't it great-granddaughter?"

Shampoo nodded her head slowly.

"What will the little girl do when she sees you?"

Shampoo shook her head, "Not know what Yuzuyu will do, but that only half problem great-grandmother." She told Cologne about all the pictures Yuzuyu had been drawing of her in both cat and human form. Then she told about Satsuki's comments the first night she had stayed at their house.

"You say the boy's intelligent? Then it is likely that he won't give up if you just hide and let Mousse serve them."

Mousse flinched visibly at this, he would do anything for his Shampoo, but waiting on a table full of people was risking everyone's life.

"Well great-granddaughter, I see no alternative but to let them find out about your curse. Goodness knows everyone in Furinkan knows about it by now." Cologne glanced out into the dinning room and looked at the little girl being settled into a booster seat by her blond haired cousin. "Of course the girl's family will not likely let you back into their home once they know the truth."

Shampoo hung her head, "Shampoo know. Is there no other way great-grandmother?"

"Not that I can think…" At that moment the front door bell rang again and Cologne watched Ranma walk in alone. "Son-in-law you have a remarkable sense of timing."

A minute later a dripping wet redhead was standing in the middle of the kitchen. Cologne put down the empty ice water pitcher and smiled at Shampoo. For once the young Amazon had caught on right away and was even now stripping out of her waitress outfit.

"What'd ya do that for ya old ghoul!"

"Son-in-law, I have a favor to ask you. I need you to fill in for Shampoo waiting on tables for the next hour."

Ranma's attention was totally on the now nearly naked Shampoo, "Sure… whatever… Hey, wait just a minute! I came here to get something to eat, not work my butt off for you."

"I am prepared to pay you for your time son-in-law." Cologne bit her lip. The things she sacrificed for her great-granddaughter!

"Yeah? How much?"

"How about ramen for one week." Cologne waited as Ranma matched her gaze in silence. She knew what he was waiting for, but she was loath to say the words. Finally she caved in for Shampoo's sake, "All you can eat."

"Deal! Mousse I'll start with three bowls of pork and keep 'em comin'"

"That can wait son-in-law, right now there are customers in the dining room."

"But great-grandmother," Shampoo said, "Airen not look like Shampoo. Satsuki-chan surely come looking for Shampoo…"

"Yes, he'll be looking for the girl in the pictures…"

"Yes, girl with purple hair…"

Cologne and Shampoo thought for a moment and then smiled at one another. Producing a hairbrush and a bottle of dye out of thin air, the Amazons descended on the hapless redhead.

In the dining room the Katakura's had settled in and were looking over the menu when an uproar from the kitchen caught their attention. They all looked up in time to see a buxom purple haired girl in a skimpy white Chinese dress come flying into the room backwards. After skidding to a stop, glaring back into the kitchen and muttering something under her breath she turned to the table, smiled sweetly and said, "Nee-how, what'd ya all want?"

o o o

Ranma worked her way around the table taking everyone's order. When she came to the little girl in the booster seat she squatted down, revealing just enough thigh through the slit in her dress to catch the interest of Mr. Katakura who in turn caught an elbow in the ribs from his wife.

The little girl had been watching Ranma closely the whole time. She seemed to have come to some sort of decision by the time Ranma asked her, "What da you want kiddo?"

"Yuzuyu want Shampoo-chan!" the little girl shouted excitedly.

Ranma looked over her shoulder and started to say, "Well, she's in the…" but a stray lock of purple hair fell across her face and she turned back to the little girl saying, "I'm Shampoo, pleased ta meet'cha."

Yuzuyu looked Ranma straight in the eye and said, "You're not Shampoo-chan."

Kippei interrupted to explain, "I'm sorry. She wants to see a cat named Shampoo. She's been playing with it for the last few weeks and we thought it might belong to you."

"My c-c-cat?" Ranma said nervously, glancing once more over her shoulder at the kitchen. Understanding suddenly arrived and her nervous expression changed into a wicked grin. "Yeah, we got a c-c-cat named Shampoo here. I'll go get her for ya."

"Thanks," Kippei said, "and please bring a small order of chicken ramen for Yuzuyu."

"Sure thing! That's three pork, two chicken, one seafood, a small chicken and…" Ranma's grin got even larger, "one c-c-cat."

Ranma returned to the kitchen and handed the order slip over to Mousse who proceeded to squint at the spoon in his other hand.

"Put yer glasses on duck boy!" Ranma shouted in glee, then she turned to Shampoo and Cologne, "They also had a special request."

"We don't do special orders son-in-law, you know that."

"Oh, but this is really special. The little girl out there wants a c-c-cat named Shampoo." The look of triumph on Ranma's face would have been frightening if it had lasted more than one second, because that is all the time it took for Shampoo's face to light up in delight.

The mostly unclothed Chinese girl grabbed a pitcher of ice water off the counter and prepared to up end it over herself, but Cologne stopped her. "You might want to put this on before you do that great-granddaughter." Cologne produced a black elastic band with a silver pendant dangling from it. She shared a knowing smile with her great-granddaughter before Shampoo slipped the nametag over her head and then doused herself with the water.

"Hey, wait a minute!" cried out Ranma in shock, "Not while I'm here!" Taking one look at the wet cat now standing not one meter in front of her, Ranma squealed in fright and dashed from the kitchen. She crossed the dining room in record time and ran straight to the men's room where Mr. Katakura was just finishing washing his hands.

Moments later a rather shocked Mr. Katakura returned to the dining room and sat down.

"What is it dear?" asked Mrs. Katakura.

"Oh nothing," he responded shakily, "but I'm starting to like this place."

Suddenly Yuzuyu cried out in delight, "Shampoo-chan!" Jumping out of her booster seat she ran across the room to where Shampoo was just sauntering out of the kitchen.

"Just as I expected," Satsuki mumbled.

Suzuko looked at her little brother suspiciously, "What was that Satsuki?"

"Nothing Nee-chan."

"Don't 'nothing' me," she growled as she pinched his cheek hard, "Out with it! What are you up to?"

Making sure that the rest of the family was busy watching Yuzuyu and the cat, Satsuki whispered, "Did you notice that the waitress disappeared before the cat arrived?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"My guess is that you won't see that waitress again as long is the cat is out here."

Suzuko looked at her brother and then at the cat in Yuzuyu's arms, "I don't get it Satsuki, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying the girl and the cat can't be in the same place at the same time."

"Little brother," Suzuko said, "you are one seriously weird kid."

"Just wait and see if I'm wrong Nee-chan."

o o o

Cologne stuck her head into the kitchen, "Are those orders ready Mousse?"

"Almost," said the near-sighted cook, "I just need to find some bowls."

"Try the shelf right in front of yer face duck brain." Ranma said between gulps of ramen.

"Son-in-law, stop feeding your own face and take out these orders."

Ranma suddenly stopped eating and all the color drained from her face, "B-but, I can't go out there now. Shampoo's out there and she's a c-c-cat!"

Cologne laughed, "You're perfectly safe son-in-law, because at this very moment that frightening feline is safely in the arms of a five-year old girl!"

Yuzuyu had been resettled into her booster seat with Shampoo sitting on the bench between her and Kippei. All conversation at the table stopped as their waitress reappeared in the kitchen doorway juggling seven bowls in the air at once.

Ranma gritted her teeth and tried not to actually look at the table where she new Shampoo would be sitting. She glided across the room and began depositing bowls in front of the Katakura's at lightening speed. When she was done not a single drop had been spilled.

Then she spotted Shampoo sitting on the bench rubbing her head against the little girl's elbow. Even though Ranma was beginning to freak out, she couldn't help but wonder what Shampoo was up to. Who were these people anyway? Through clenched teeth she asked, "Can I get ya anythin' else?"

Mr. Katakura spoke for everyone saying, "This looks wonderful, could we have some more tea and juice?"

"Sure, comin' right up," Ranma's eyes were beginning to bulge as she turned and ran for the kitchen.

"The service here is really amazing, isn't it?" said Mr. Katakura.

"Really dear," Mrs. Katakura said, "don't embarrass yourself. Just because you like the waitress…"

Suzuko glanced at Satsuki, he looked about ready to explode. "Well little brother? Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the same waitress?"

"Yes," he said gloomily.

"And Shampoo-chan is still sitting here with Yuzuyu?"

"Yes!" he said bowing his head in defeat, "I just don't understand it. I was certain they had to be the same. Unless…" He looked up just as Ranma appeared in the kitchen doorway holding a pot of tea in one hand and a pitcher of apple juice in the other. A smile spread across Satsuki's face as an idea came to him.

As Ranma approached the table Shampoo suddenly jumped up into Yuzuyu's lap. Startled, Ranma tripped and the teapot went flying wildly through the air. She lunged for it just as a stream of steaming hot tea flowed from of the pot. Ranma regained her balance, snatched a tea cub from the table, caught the hot tea in it, then set the tea cup, the tea pot and the pitcher of juice lightly down on the table in front of the stunned customers.

"See what I mean," said Mr. Katakura, "it's very entertaining."

"Shut up and eat your ramen," said Mrs. Katakura as she eyed her husband distrustfully.

Still in female form, Ranma filled Yuzuyu's juice glass while glaring wide eyed at Shampoo sitting in the little girl's lap. This wasn't getting any easier, if anything seeing the cat with the cute little girl was even more distressing than usual.

Ranma was just turning to go when Satsuki cleared his throat, "Excuse me," he said, "are you the same waitress that was working here last month?"

Ranma turned and faced the young teenager. There was something unnerving about him, he had the same look on his face that Nabiki did when it was about to cost Ranma money. "Yeah, I'm Shampoo and Shampoo has worked here since the place opened."

"You look different than when I was in here before, are you sure you're the same person?"

Ranma pointed to the little gold nametag pinned to her dress then held up a lock of purple hair, "Of course I am, who else would be workin' in a dump like this?"

A whistling noise followed the single chopstick as it flew arrow straight from the kitchen to the back of Ranma's head.

"When I was here before, you had a Chinese accent."

Ranma was getting fed up with this, "Look, I've been goin' ta school. Ya got somethin' against a girl improvin' herself?"

"Satsuki!" said Mrs. Katakura sternly, "stop bothering this nice young woman and let her do her job." Turning to Ranma she said sweetly, "I'm sorry, you know what boys are like at 'that' age."

"Yeah," said Ranma eyeing the boy warily, "there's a place I know back in China that can take care of that. Enjoy yer meal folks."

o o o

The Katakura's seemed to be enjoying their meal and for once Shampoo felt a real sense of pride in her little restaurant. Curled up on the bench between Yuzuyu and Kippei, it was easy for her to forget what this place was like most of the time. Even Ranma seemed to be behaving himself for once. Yuzuyu snuck another piece of chicken out of her bowl and held in front of Shampoo, even though her stomach was full she grabbed it happily. She knew that every piece was a gift of love from the little girl.

Kippei on the other hand had hardly paid her any attention all evening. The skinny girl that had come in with them was apparently his new girlfriend. Shampoo tried not to feel jealous. She had long since given up on Yuzuyu's handsome cousin in order to continue her pursuit of Ranma, but to have Kippei so close and not receive any attention from him just rubbed her the wrong way.

She put a paw lightly against his thigh and then slipped her claws ever so gently into his flesh. His hand appeared and sought out her head. She released his leg as he began to massage the space between her ears. "That'll do for now," she thought.

Watching from the kitchen, Ranma felt a pang of something other than jealousy. Six bowls of Mousse's ramen was even more than the Saotome eating machine could stand. She belched loudly and then turned to Cologne who was sitting on the counter.

"What's up with Shampoo anyway? She's been out there this whole time acting like the family c-c-cat. Is this some sort of scheme to make me jealous?"

Cologne shook her head, "This may be hard for you to believe son-in-law, but the entire world does not revolve around you and your curse."

Ranma laughed, "Yeah, I wish!" then he returned to watching Shampoo.

Cologne smiled, "This may work to my advantage after all," she thought. "Take them the bill son-in-law and don't forget to try and sell them dessert."

The Katakura's thanked Ranma, but declined dessert. Yuzuyu had her heart set on ice cream from the store down the street. As Mrs. Katakura settled the bill at the counter with Cologne, Yuzuyu said her goodbyes to Shampoo. The cat sat forlornly in the middle of the empty dining room until everyone had filed out of the front door, then she turned and walked dejectedly back to the kitchen.

Cologne was waiting for her with a kettle of hot water and a dry robe. After a liberal dose of hot water the young Amazon thanked her great-grandmother in Chinese and headed off towards the ladies room to dry her hair.

"Hey, save some of that water for me ya old hag," said Ranma indignantly. With Shampoo restored to human form, he was back to being the fearless jerk again.

Cologne smiled and said, "All right son-in-law, but unless you want to be a purple haired boy I suggest you wash that dye out with cold water first."

Ranma scratched the back of her head and laughed, "Oh yeah, forgot 'bout that."

As she turned to follow Shampoo into the ladies room, Mousse leapt at her, "Saotome! Don't you dare…"

His attack was brought to a screeching halt by a crack from Cologne's staff, "Don't interfere Mousse, unless you really want to spend the night wading in a cold tub of water?"

o o o

As Ranma stepped out of the front door of the Cat Café with his freshly washed black hair, he noticed the Katakura family standing on the sidewalk outside of the ice cream shop down the street. The dojo was in the opposite direction, but he paused for a minute just to watch them. They seemed like a perfectly normal family, so how they could have ever become involved with this loony bin of Amazons was beyond him.

Admittedly the young boy was a bit weird… And the older one with the skinny girlfriend had all those earrings… An involuntary shudder ran through Ranma as he contemplated a boy getting his ears pierced, not just once but many times. Still, could Shampoo really be attracted to a guy like that? Knowing her it was unlikely, as she had spent the whole evening without flying into a jealous rage even once.

The blond boy and his girlfriend were standing away from the rest of the family next to the roadway. The boy was leaning on a signpost talking to the girl who was balancing on the edge of the curb. Ranma took a closer look at the girl, "Too skinny," he said to himself, "two of her wouldn't make one Akane."

Satsuki sat on the bench outside the shop staring morosely at his melting ice cream. Suzuko thought he looked for all the world like a child that had just been told that Santa-san did not exist. "What's wrong little brother?" she asked him, "What were you trying to prove tonight anyway?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you Nee-chan. I'm beginning to not believe it myself."

"It's not like you to give up Satsuki. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You were certainly right about this being the place where Shampoo-chan lives. And thanks to you I think Dad has found a ramen place he really likes." She glanced over to where her father stood patiently receiving a lecture from her mother on how not to act in front of small children.

Meanwhile Yuzuyu sat happily on the other end of the bench, her little face covered in smears of chocolate ice cream. As she sucked the last gooey drop from her cone she looked around for Kippei. He had wandered off somewhere with her new friend Onee-chan. She spotted them on the other side of the sidewalk and jumped down from the bench. Launching herself into a dead run, she shouted excitedly, "Kippei-onii-chan!"

Kippei looked over his shoulder just in time to see Yuzuyu's foot catch on a crack in the sidewalk. The five-year old pitched forward and went flying for towards the busy street. Kippei lunged to catch her, but in the process bumped into Kokoro. The girl lost her balance and fell backwards off the curb just as a large truck came barreling down on top of her. Just as Kippei caught Yuzuyu in his arms he felt a blast of wind whip past him.

The driver of the truck blasted his horn and slammed on the brakes, but the truck skid another ten meters down the road before coming to a bumpy stop. The driver leapt from the cab and ran back only to find the street where the girl had fallen completely empty.

On the sidewalk, the entire Katakura family stared at the same empty street, each of their faces frozen into a different mask of shock and horror. No one made a sound. Then Yuzuyu began screaming.

END – Part 2

All characters in this story are a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.

This work is copyright © 2006 by Juliet Carnell, it is not public domain and all rights are reserved. This work is not for publication. This work may not be reproduced, distributed or sold in any format or media. This work may not be included in any collection without the express written permission of the author. The reader may make one printed or electronic copy of this work for personal use.