Ending
After I've posted my last chapter, I truly didn't expect there to be so much fuss about it. Perhaps a few reviews or two telling me that they didn't enjoy it. To be honest, I really wasn't expecting flames, although I have gotten one or two before, and chose to ignore them.
To Nakkie, I'd like to explain and let you know that I'm not against flames. I'm not an author who is self-absorbed. I'm trying to be a writer that works and constantly tries to improve herself, though I do occasionally wonder if I'm wasting my time. I don't believe that there is any author who is not more sensitive than the Average Joe. To be writers, don't we have to be? I know I am. But it's this ability of having my heart on my sleeve that allows me to write. It's this ability that keeps me in touch with my emotions and my character's emotions. Hence I'd be truthful and tell you that I am slightly upset, but it's nothing thoroughly devastating. If anything else, you remind me that I can't please everybody, and you did teach me what my objectives of writing was – to express myself. I do believe that I lose touch of it sometimes, but both you and Firuze gave me a lesson I'd never forget. Thank you for that.
I do understand if any of you object to my ending. There are three endings in writing – happy ending, sad ending and no ending. I've chosen to go with the latter in an attempt to embrace the ethereal quality that I've been striving for, and to keep in touch with the theme of the story – realism in a fantasy environment. I've explained it earlier on, but I do feel a need to reemphasize this. My story, The Affair, is a story that is based on fiction and works through a dreamlike quality. Hence, it is through careful consideration that I decided to end off with the scenes in my mind. Unfortunately for the more hopeful readers, the scene that I came out with ended off with Kaoru standing triumphantly with all the confidence and strength in her being shining through. Enishi's reaction wasn't important because this story is about the affair, and the affair, truth be told, has ended in chapter V. The remaining chapters are an epilogue of sorts really.
To those who requested for an Epilogue, I did hit upon one, and was writing it halfway when I realized that couldn't. It's all up there, but it was all wrong. It didn't fit. You see, real life never fits with any epilogue because there's always an epilogue to the epilogue and so on and so forth. Life is never ending and the journey ever continuing, to capture this bit would simply be wrong. So forgive me for only having it half done, maybe one day when I want it, or when I feel it's bursting to be told, how about then?
To my greatest ally and supporter, Firuze, you fight my battles, you encourage me, you boost my morale, really, what would I be without you? I thank you for your lesson, for the knocks on the head. I'm leaving the reviews on because I've decided that every opinion belongs to them. As a writer, I respect their opinions, even though I would probably feel a tiny stab each time I read them. But as a friend, I'll just skip them and head for yours, -grinz- because you've always been my cheerleader throughout this story and beyond, and I can't live without it. Every letter, every review, every comment has touched me deeply. Thank you for going the extra mile, thank you for protecting my fragile psyche, thank you for just being you. It's made all the difference, it really has.
Finally, a great big thanks to all the other reviewers and fellow friends. MissBehavin, Jerjonji (my sister, what would I do without you?), Dustyfall, Wistful-Eyes, BelleDayNight, Tsuki-san, msytal. This story is something dear to me because it was my breakthrough/water shed story. It allowed me to try new things, break new grounds with my style and comfort zone. Thank you for your constant encouragement and opinions. Without you, I think this story would have lost something important to it. You made it something worth looking back on, and I can't express my heartfelt gratitude any better than with a simple: Thank You.
This story has been such a journey, thank you for riding it with me, hope to see you on the next adventure.
Love
Nigihayami Haruko