LE: Um, guys, we're starting the next chapter.
(Camera moves to left to see DMB shooting some sort of ray gun at Yami. Yami is screaming bloody murder and running for his life)
DMB: Oh Yami. I've got a present for ya. (One might note that DMB sounds as if he's on the verge of insanity. DMB shoots ray gun again and finally hits Yami. Yami is frozen in a red light, hovering above the floor. All he can move is his mouth, and eyes.)
Yugi: What's going on?!?
DMB: One of my favorite little gadgets. The truth ray.
LE: (A wide evil grin spreads across her face and she stares at Yami with a look of payback in her eyes)
Yami: (Laughs nervously) What did I ever do to you?
DMB: Well, you cost me my Exodia prop and I'm going to have to buy another one thanks to the stupid rare hunter in the sequel who summons it in his duel with Joey.
LE: And you wouldn't stop annoying the heck out of me in my other fic, Mirror of the Soul. (Pauses for a moment and then stares at DMB) Say, didn't I kill you in that fic?
DMB: Well, ya got me. (Pulls down chart and scene replays. DMB is shown dangling with his friends in cheap looking costumes above a mutated sea bass pit. An explosion of anger suddenly sends them into the pit, and the water turns red.) By all accounts, it doesn't make sense. (Chart suddenly falls from the sky, and they look up to see that they're still in the Kaiba vs. Yami arena which is outside, and realize that the chart was connected to the sky.)
LE: That was……. odd. Oh well, back to business.
DMB: First question. (Turns to Yami) Was that intentional when your tunic disappeared in that speech to all of Egypt?
Yami: No. Ha, it looks like your truth ray doesn't work!
DMB: That's because it's on low. (Cranks dial on laser gun, and Yami starts spasming)
Yami: YES, IT WAS INTENTIONAL!!!! (Closes mouth and stares at it as if it isn't even his)
LE: Next question. What is your favorite T.V. show?
Yami: (Mouth opens without control) Teletubbies.
DMB: What's your deepest darkest secret?
Yami: Oh please, no! (Loses control again) I sneak into Luthien Eowyn's closet and try on her clothes!
LE: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
DMB: My, that was shocking! Well, my sister will get to pummel Yami later. We need to get started. (DMB whacks the laser gun and Yami is free. LE is ready to strangle Yami, but DMB snaps fingers and everybody is in place for Yugi's first duel with Pegasus.) Man, we skipped a lot!
(Stage lights up and Grandpa walks in with a package)
Solomon: Time for your lethon.
Joey: What lethon?
Solomon: Ecthuthe me, I have thomething in my teeth. (Turnsth around for a quick sthecond and then turnsth around with normal voice)
Solomon: Sorry about that. Oh and Yugi, you got this package.
T.V.: Hey, shut up gramps, it's my line! Anyway, Rex and Weevil are dueling to their last wits with incredible strategy. Let's shut up and watch.
(Okay, this is getting dull already. I'm going to fast forward.)
Joey: Who da heck was that?
(Suddenly, everything fast forwards to Yugi opening the package. Nobody even notices this time)
Tea: I noticed.
(I said nobody noticed, ok?)
Tea: Ok.
Joey: What's in it?
Tristan: Well how bout you let him open it.
Joey: Ya wanna make something of it?
Tristan: Ladies first.
Tea: Oh, no thanks.
Tristan: Not you, Joey.
Tea: But why would you call him a…… oh, I get it.
(Mental Note: One who laughs last thinks slowest)
Yugi: (Opens package and sees the dueling glove, star chips, and video tape) Mmmm, star chips, one of my favorites! (Grabs the two star chips and stuffs them in his mouth)
DMB: Okay, you can suck on them, but just don't… (Yugi swallows) swallow them.
Yugi: But aren't star chips the new candy that's sweeping the nation?
BMB: First of all, it's called "Starbursts." And second of all, you just ate the limited edition gold ones.
Yugi: Are they peach flavored or something?
DMB: No, they're gold flavored. And really made of gold.
Yugi: (Grabs throat and turns as red as the outline of his star shaped hair and faints.)
LE: Hospital!
(Paramedics burst through the door and take Yugi away)
DMB: Good thinking! We need to get him healed as soon as possible!
LE: Okay, first of all, Fan fiction authors need to be as heartless to their characters as possible when they are actually taking a role in their own story. Second of all, I accidentally called the hospital. I actually meant to call the pizza place to tell them that they had gotten the pizza wrong. The only reason I had said "Hospital" was when I saw Yugi, that's the first thing that popped into my mind. Anywho, moving on, Yami will have to fill in for Yugi.
Yami: Ohhhhhh, do I have to?
DMB: You heard the lady, get into a less sharp version of what you're wearing, make your eyes look like bambie eyes, make sure your yellow hair spikes stay down, not stick up, and cut a few inches off of your height.
Yami: Just one question. How do I get shorter?
LE: I'll take care of that. (Pulls out a giant pair of scissors that are labeled "Height Whacker")
Yami: But how will I get the height back?
DMB: A very painful process that does not have any needed pain. We just put the pain in the surgery for the surgeon's personal entertainment while they work away using the elevation tools.
Yami: Oh no.
DMB: (Pulls out cell phone and dials a number) Hello? So Good, They're Scary Contacts? Mack, it's DMB. I need a special order.
Mack: What kinda special order.
DMB: Bambie-Eyes.
Mack: You got it.
(Suddenly, the doorbell to Kaiba Corp rings and a delivery man walks in and tosses a package to Yami. Yami opens package and pulls out a pair of contacts that oddly resemble Yugi's eyes and a video that is labeled "How to put contacts in in less than 5 seconds")
LE: (Pulls out a much cooler looking cell phone (Nokia) and dials a number) Hello? Anime Costume Store? I need a Yugi school uniform.
(Doorbell rings and a 2nd delivery person walks in with a replicant of Yugi's clothes and tosses them to Yami)
DMB: Now all we need to change is his yellow spikes. Does anyone have any hair spray?
Joey: I got some? (Tosses a can of hair spray to Yami)
DMB: Thanks Joey. (Pauses for a quick second) Hey wait a minute, why are you carrying around hair spray?
Joey: Cause'
DMB: Oh, who gives a crap. (Walks over to Yami and drags him into the boy's bathroom)
(One can hear construction going under work. Literally! Chainsaws and bulldozers are heard. A saw sawing away at a log can also be heard. And also constant beeps and booms. The door then opens and reveals a taller version of Yugi)
LE: My turn. (Drags out the Height Whacker and begins whacking Yami with it until he looks exactly like Yugi)
DMB: One last thing. (Pulls out a bottle of perfume that is labeled "Essence of Yugi's voice" and sprayed some of it into Yami's throat. Yami coughs for a few seconds until finally, he is exactly like Yugi.)
Yami: Can we get this over with already?
DMB: Well how bout ya get into spot so we can continue, huh?
Yami: Fine. (Runs to the spot Yugi was in and starts off) I wonder what this stuff is.
Joey: How bout ya pop that video in the T.V. and find out.
Yami: Ok. (Gets the tape out of the package and puts it into the VCR)
(T.V. begins crackling and suddenly, Teletubbies comes on)
DMB: What the heck?
Yami: How did that get in there? (Ejects video, tosses it off screen and puts the correct video into the T.V. Suddenly, Pegasus appears.)
Pegasus: Greetings, Little Yugi.
Yami: Who's that?
Solomon: I think it's Maximillion Pegasus.
Pegasus: No, really. Anyway, moving on. I've arranged a special little duel, right here, right…… I'm sorry, I can't see that.
(Camera turns around to reveal some random guy holding up Pegasus's lines.)
DMB: WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY WANT TO MEMORIZE THEIR LINES, HUH?!?
I'M GONNA WANNA PUNCH SOMEONE IF NOBODY COOPERATES!!!!!!!!
(Camera turns back around to show Pegasus)
Pegasus: Oh, that's what it says. Now.
Yami: You want me to go inside the box?
DMB: Yes, Yami, he wants you to go into the box.
Yami: How?
DMB: Stand up, stick your rear in the air, and squawk like a chicken.
Yami: Ok. (Follows DMB's instruction's and suddenly gets sucked into the T.V.)
DMB: I DIDN'T ACTUALLY EXPECT IT TO WORK!!!!
LE: Well; he's in there, so let's get ready for the next scene.
(Joey, Tea. Tristan, and Solomon are painted blue and a pink bulb drops over the scene.)
DMB: Who worked on the props huh? I remember ordering Shadow-Realm, not Candy-Land!
LE: Well guess what, we can't continue to the next chapter till specific things are taken care of.
DMB: What specific things?
LE: Well, Yami needs to have his surgery since he's in the next scene, and we'll need to find a Shadow-Realm Bulb Repairer while people are reviewing.
DMB: (Throws hands into the air into fists) WHAT'S IT TAKE, HUH?
(Suddenly, a rain cloud appears above DMB's head)
LE: Apparently that. Anywho, I gotta go beat up Yami. I said I would in the beginning of the chapter. (Snaps her fingers and ends up in the television)
DMB: Well, all I can say is, the faster you review, the faster I get rid of this rain cloud and update.