p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fab51858b35625d16bfe67ba351e50e8"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"What If Series Ten: I Never Have... (Last Part)/em/span/p
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9966ca6dcc0401cd6dcf0e5d74d3c125"./p
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="08e93b057d461bb8771b6b0c2fb78614"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="56daf6553ecd08d299d463a5d5622ebb"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="67c32d5cacc1c1e4ec68be4580e12879"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d02a8fc9c34af24b24aa13d627230ebf"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="6f4cdcb79df3abe38f06f41029bcabce"The flower that bloomed in the spring fell in love.../p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="68d82c73ac2dc6b5882f3e4e7c26d633"I wish to remember only laughter and smiles in the streets./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="516769f2f10491b3e0e4e5ab9b4cfac6"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"We... used to be in love.../em until happiness lasted only that part./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="241ad33b88df47266986380bf98948ae"The flower looked up so desperately and laughed./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9346aeb500a619af06ba0e1133952f72"... had turned to be that flower which smells like em style="box-sizing: border-box;"gunpowder./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d681f4c727d6e2143c6e3d7afa348cbb"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Me.../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="8a7ab20ec0ab3262ce329c7dcb399a4e"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"***/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1bfec59813a0321f033d1169d6307f0c"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""They say, I am special. The truth is... there's nothing special to have led a common life which I used to share it with someone I loved. There will be no one to remember the vast feelings that I still feel for her. It's still right there... buried deep inside my heart... and now I can say... the years that I've spent, seems so clearly small to my desire of wanting to meet her again. And so, everyone has already forgotten about it, they also lead their common life... and I know, somehow... my name will never cross to your lips... but I have been keeping that promise. I will love you with all of my heart."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="66f5bb4c16beb0dd21896047ccdb8d9d"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"***/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ab76b6fe703ef8cd40322450693a6673"The sun has come down as I decided to take another stroll for just the time being. Thoughts of the past came back to me when the glorious sunshine touches my skin. I smiled, for it reminded me that I am still alive and reliving those memories in my mind. The breeze is getting cold... but I feel so warm like I used to. I walked myself in a small patio towards the house, facing the sunflowers that I never forget to water this morning. Well, it's been twenty years since I bought this house. With all nothing that I have, which is, my everything had almost turned to nothing, I never forget to keep my promise. It made me feel like I... still have the words... I still remember those times when we planned to have it someday and just... just the right moment, fate forbade it. It's not that I am against fate... the strong will of life, it's just that... I know, there is still something I can do with my life. Maybe, it's impossible but maybe I can change the direction of the wind./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ed77064cdf9b2116ad23258aee86e1ca"My life is not easy to explain. It's not boring... it's also not spectacular. To have been people around you who give you only troubles and excitement, I think it's just the right taste. The sweetness is still in my lips whilst, it tasted very bitter now. I have been resenting my life for such it was a big failure, for such it's unlawful to take something so perfect that I settled myself with... But I realized, it's just so immature to resent it without knowing that somehow I made that to happen. I made this cycle. To add, it's not that bad to think from someone else's mind... they always said that I have been too successful for all of my life, I made much money enough... I can love anyone I want. I can always get everything I need for a lifetime but they don't know that there is still something I want to have but couldn't. And maybe, if they knew what it was, they can always say that I am still too young... and it's never been too late to try again, to search again but for all of my life, I've seen so many disastrous and wonderful sceneries in just one experience, in just one touch, in just one person. And I can't just start again... because for it will never be the same, there's nothing that can make me replace it... it's still there... she's still there in my heart... and no matter how long could I keep on searching for her... well, she's gone... she's not gone literally... because I know I saved a little part of her in my chest but now, I could conclude that there's no more searching... em style="box-sizing: border-box;"because the search is finally over./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="97612133b36ce75e1c9af23a65952416"The phone rang; I grabbed it inside my pocket. I simply washed those thoughts away for a moment. I answered it and I figured out it is my father-in-law. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Aihara Shigeo. /emHe's more than eighty years old now and he's more likely to spend his remaining time in their hometown, Akita... and possibly, want to share his wife's grave if ever he dies. Well, he kind of made a promise. And I think it's just that right to have someone to be buried with... and that's the one you truly loved./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="092e870a7b5090c99c50b319fa3f5271"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Oto-san. How are you?"/span I said./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="29a3614052974101e56ef690c4ddddac"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Naoki-kun, I know I'm a little bit annoying but... there's something I need to talk to you. But I can't say it on the phone."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="20c83f635796c917e1282844807e2030"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""It's okay. I can visit you anytime. Well, let me just look into my schedule, and then we'll go."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="dc40e3dc266746659568a50ef5990b94"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I'm sorry, Naoki-kun. I'm sorry for disturbing you... you know I'm old and sick... I still call for you. How are you now?"/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="14d4721dd1bcd8b6533b70b74cefa472"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Well... busy at the hospital. I saved so many lives. Just that. My reputation for being a doctor seems to start building up. I can settle this for a while."/span I smiled for a bit. I remember someone from the operating room... in the halls of the hospital... everywhere I go, it seems like I got the habit of keeping her somewhere with me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="470ec6fea05d944425e40ec064aa0b40"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I miss talking like this with you..."/span his old voice somehow broke it off./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="db71bca3f08c9de9bb82a6853a55bc71"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Me too, I'm sorry if I rarely visit you these last days. I never intended to put more workloads in my schedule this month... I can't just decline another patient who needs my help."/span and then her words came across my mind... how could I resist it? I just remember the words in urgent. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I see... you're a good doctor, Naoki-kun,"/span he said. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Well, I'm not. I'm just..."/span I can't seem to expound it in words. My heart tightened for a bit. The pain wants to come back... but... span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I still believe in you. You're the best son-in-law that I have... well, I have only one daughter so... let's say I have nothing to compare with you, so you're incomparable."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="35f9e638ca16394667257f2e32e7f320"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Thanks for complimenting me again, Oto-san. I really hope you could hate me all you want."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1cf883f95bad434d8bfaee20882dbe85"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Common, I'm eighty years old now... how could I keep hatred in my heart? I'm almost going to die... but I'll wait for you to come here, Naoki-kun. Please see me right away."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="62a0f87f5bb22b9377ead3173ba0c27f"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I will."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="7e3a257000596fa3ecfc82030c5e0652"I kind of know what he would want me to say... and I can't just go there and promise him that I am going to do that... for him... I put the phone back to my pocket. I crossed my fingers... a single tear had escaped from my eye. I wiped it. So this is life huh? What more do I need to expect? Where would I go now? Where would I start now? But... I just can't start it without her. I still love her so much... my feelings haven't changed... it's still there... and it will never last... it will just to continue counting until my last breath./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4d0ec46e3c7a30a0bacc26bfbb9e4111"I walked my life over in a vast understanding of science, but science doesn't want me to own it. My expertise somehow lies in the middle of unreachable... but I didn't lose hope, I fully embraced the miracles above... waiting for it finally occurs./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="74ee71937f9c92d699c46c2d4a265cfa"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5ba38cdc39ac4aed83151ea0e4087e4d"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="39ae7d6efdb2b3581b105a6426c8f524"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="574aa7a1136f21567cea7cfb14ad4a86"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"The words I remembered draw me back to the time./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="8724836c402c06c9428beb85170461f8"It was storming of chaos deep inside... I was thrown to the other side of insanity... when I heard her saying those lines... it turned to be a magic knife that cut deep through me... I didn't see blood in my chest... it's not coming out... but it truly hurts... it does... and every time I took a breath... I can't... it feels like I am already dying./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="391523e88a5afb02101c5dbb8ca121c4"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""But I don't want to hurt us... if I let this again, this will come too deep that we can't save ourselves from the pain. You don't only have me... you might find things left in you."/span she pushed me away... and it startled me... for this is the first time that she did that. She got past at me... while I'm thinking of ways to pull her back but she successfully got past at me. I watched her back... her curly hair... and then the distance of us were getting far... I gave up, I put down my hands./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="45d6736ae308ea9a3863bfc7b90c3f7f"I pulled my hair... I don't know... I don't know anymore... I don't what to do with this pain. But I just can't let her go... I can't let her go... I can't... there's no way she can run away... there's no way that she has the strength to leave me. But now she's gone... she's gone... she's just left. I sat at the side; against the bed... my mind was filled with blank./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9288c0ade024cc8891489dcc3f539195"Kotoko... she's Kotoko... I want to believe that she's still the Kotoko who promised never to leave me... who will always love me no matter what happens... who will always be there with me... who will always do everything for me... but who I am now? Do I still feel like myself? Am I still Irie Naoki the cold-blooded bastard? What are the words that I have said to her? What did I promise to her? None. Because I was still so sure before that she will definitely be there... and keep her promise... I thought it was like simple as it could be... but it's not what's happening right now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4d0a6cd54f0ad89f179bae7426aaeeba"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Shall I let her go? Shall I give her the chance? But I am not fine with it. I really do./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="41bd724db304841aaf5c8063b5798e2f"At this time, to give her up is the hardest thing to do. In just a second, all I remember was... those memories back when we were happy. She's smiling... while I secretly adore her with all of my heart. She keeps saying those three magical words to me... while I am kind of having uncontrollable feelings in my heart. Those days... those days were the good days. I'm always having a direction with her... I didn't mean to but I always follow her wherever she goes... I can't just set my own pace and turn back and leave her em style="box-sizing: border-box;"no.../em but... she's gone. She already did what I didn't expect. I know I already ruined this relationship but I'm trying to win it back, to fix it up... but she does not want to do that anymore. She's totally different... I know she's not the stupid and clumsy wife that I had... she may have good brains right now... or she might be so over thinking about her movements and keep it low... but why? Even though things have drastically changed in her, I still love her... I still love her that much... and even though she doesn't have that feeling anymore... she doesn't remember me as the em style="box-sizing: border-box;"'Irie-kun'/em whom she loves since high school, I still love her. My feelings never changed... up until now, even though she ran away from me... and I don't know where she might be heading to... or who the hell the person she's with right now, I still her love her so much that it's even okay for me if got death into it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9ec7dd2f49836ba389e66737de907349"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I still love her so much that it's okay for me to get hurt./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a339fd96cf88757bc9053a00a9c6f48c"Those words cleared my mind and made me stop crying./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="6b6c6aedbe3212a93fc9b43004aeab73"That's all I know./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="b9377d642c93b87b1a2bc5e704d7fa37"And I don't know how to get her back to me again... but I certainly don't have enough plans for my life to start without her. I just realized that I really changed... and she made me be this person that will never let her go./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a0653b9ac0169f97382297b356f71b27"I stood up... I immediately dashed myself in towards the staircase. I got my coat and rushed everything down until I'm at the door. My mom had just arrived from her errands today. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Ni-chan? What's the rush? And hey, are you crying? Where's Kotoko-chan?"/span she followed up another series of questions as a mom. "span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"I'm going to look for Kotoko,"/span I said and made a past at her. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Hey... the neighborhood is not safe right now... there's a serial killer right across from the 18th block and the police are trying to catch him but they are in the middle of the operation right now... they are shooting bullets at him now. We are advised to stay here in our houses and prepare if the killer broke into our house..."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c58cd43d0457f5a86421f28b88df6d48"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko!"/span I realized she's out there... in the danger. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I need to find Kotoko as soon as possible, Mom!"/span I held my mother's shoulder. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Get everyone to find her too... or just contact the police about the situation!"/span I was panicking the whole time and I know... I got my mother scared. She's been tired too for adjusting and she neither does know what to act in front of Kotoko. Kotoko... as her loving child before, is a complete stranger now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="037e5a7313f1e046dcbde968187ed4bb"Dammit! I should have never made this situation worst, if I hadn't freaked out, she won't run away.../p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c867c03ac29b1f602c79df3ea650e2f1"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="053aa5b274b5680e9f7587eab6359c15"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1d4ce5b51c7b245dd479bb04351814b6"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="15939c0eeb1c0ae8b891b818fe79d7eb"The Tokyo night sky was filled with twinkling stars but it is dangerous. I hadn't brought something that could fight against the Serial Killer if I happen to encounter him. I stared eagerly at the front, clutching the flashlight... looking at everywhere... tracing her location. My throat has been dried up and I just need a bottle of water right now... but I can't stop shouting, nor I have the desire to sit over there for a few seconds./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c968930ff61a55e761bfd2031731b69d"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko!"/span I called her./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a225f4a2470020fe869a0b511e7c3a88"She's not familiar in the neighborhood, the streets, and the blocks and it might take time for her to go right into the exit gate but... I believe the police might be there to guard it. Oh fuck, I was raging inside, but I couldn't let it show. I need to be strong for the time being./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="8ee23d6bcc6c57f52ab30001de6739ee"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko!"/span I was rounding the streets for the second time and I still didn't even see her... I was running and running until my limbs got in the worst pain./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="651cb91bf334da1b48c9152acc5e961a"My voice rippled through the quiet neighborhood, praying that she'll hear it... that she'll hear a response. For this time being, I wanted her to keep inside my arms, protect her all I want. Please... let me find her. I stared eagerly at the night sky and wished for a shooting star to pass by... and give me miracles. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Miracles./em It's been a long time since I had one. Please... em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Kami-sama,/em if you are truly hearing me pray, please... let me find her... or please keep her safe. And I still have faith in you... and this suffering has not knocked me down. I almost encountered death in my life... and I still believe that good things are waiting for me. I can't die without ensuring that Kotoko is safe. For now... I need to think of ways of how to get past at him. If I had to fight him... I have to win so that I could get Kotoko out of here./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c0b332042614426c2816580ee2f5314b"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Looking for someone, boy?"/span a stranger came across with me. In my peripheral vision, I saw him having a knife in his pocket. He might be... he might be the killer. I looked straight into his eyes as he approached. I gulped... I was having this total fear all over me but I need to calm down... or else, I might ruin this up. For now, surely, Kotoko is out there... and somehow safe on her own. It's a good thing that I encountered this killer first./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="014b2b7bf404fc57e7a60f8279c7315e"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I was looking for my wife,"/span I told honestly./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="df91d2b6c6f05bdf6185a9a61df3f659"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Your wife?"/span he repeated./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9e90f56f131cee50b5e3acf874beca5b"A silence stretched between me and that killer, who stood there staring at me for so long I wanted to scream for the assistance of the police. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Yes... she might be strolling around the neighborhood to catch our cat and maybe she's just got home and wanted to play pranks on me."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="165c5be99a0aba4e478b1e39236a3d14"I felt huge wet circles under my arms. I composed myself... trying to think clearly, forgetting about the pain in my limbs. He started saying something, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Do you know what's going on to this neighborhood?"/span he said, spiteful with his every breath. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""No,"/span I answered as possibly as I could./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2b62e9f6d2382bcf4c922a874f56a108"He went closer to me, probably now a meter apart, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This neighborhood sucks."/span he said, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""A bunch of rich people! They are arrogant and cheap! They get all the ways to get into the top! And now... they don't even give a fucking care for the people that they had against! They don't know how to apologize and even give respect! I totally hate them." /spanhe paused, a visible grin was shone into this darkness, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Huh!"/span he mockingly let out air and spit on the ground, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This? A fancy neighborhood? They all can think that they'll be safe here? Well no... because I got successfully infiltrated in! And since the police are trying to chase me now, I can't afford to linger anymore... I need to get done of my revenge!"/span and he chuckled. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""If my life ended in bitterness... I will drag others to hell too. I can't be rich as them but hey, I can do something else." /spanand know for sure, there's something wrong inside his mind, a psychotic maybe... I don't have a hint of his past but... by the way, he smells of cigarettes and beer, the problem must start there./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="6c14be8705750b84c5a3d3e6b3dbb448"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Do you also live in this fancy and yet... boring neighborhood?"/span he asked me. I balled my fist into the fire. I was literally shaken by the way he would flip the events and place my life in danger. He might bury that knife inside me... I took a quick glance at it. My peripheral vision was looking a sign for police backing up on me but... I even only saw one, fifteen meters apart. I knew that the killer will surely place the knife on me. That slime. I took all my courage to park my face in neutral and act calmly as I was facing the dangerous stranger who infiltrated the security of this neighborhood./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="40f2a0ffaa8dfa8e645992db282bf555"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""What do you want?" /spanI directly asked, putting all my courage on a stake./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="7c9f1231145162666cdc855a583883ed"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""What do I want? Are you asking me what do you want? Damn,"/span he hissed again, spit again on the cold ground, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You don't even know what do I want... and I tell you... you might not even like it." /spanhe said. He stepped a little bit closer to me, enough for me to memorize the features of his face. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"This criminal./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4adaf75375b7ebcff7860e9b74ca7839"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Will you be able to give me what I want?"/span he threatened me. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I can't promise... it depends,"/span I said... the night breeze chills me out and this fear always raging up. But I have to be so smart about this. I can talk to him... until the police are ready on set to capture him. I can do it. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"For Kotoko./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ade6200b5bb5936b0a81a31be497bff0"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""There are so many poor things in this world because you existed... rich people existed! And we thought that the laws can take a side on us... but hell... they pushed us to the ground... making us do what we weren't supposed to do! em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Irony, isn't it?/em Well... you all never know how hard it is to drink our own bitterness because you are always on the top but... you wouldn't be there if it wasn't for us!"/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f86a672d4ea777515f1095efe9f91035"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""So what are you implying? Are you taking all the blame on us? I don't know your story but you lead your own life... and this world is a bunch of full strangers... we didn't do anything about it... it's just that you misdirected your life. And do you think rampaging like this will give you the benefit? No. You're only making it worst."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fd6028171e98a2b223480f77fc59b9bd"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""How cruel!" /spanhe said through his angry breath. He raised his knife up against me and I was taken back... took two steps backward. I anticipated this. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I will definitely kill all of you!"/span he seethed and I can feel his anger rising above me. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I will definitely kill all of you!"/span he repeated and tried to jab me with his knife but I already anticipated his move. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Do you think it will be all the same? You're doing this for yourself! You are ruining your life! This isn't the right way!"/span I talked back as I held his upper arm, trying to take his knife away. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please... please don't do this."/span I tried to ounce him back but the color of his eyes never subsided... it was all painted black. He punched me at the lower abdomen and that made me clutch back, trying to balance on my feet. There's one thing I am telling myself now... I will endure this pain and I have to... for Kotoko./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="b547c69e96e9558c90c4acfc0d92043b"When he was about to punch me again on the same spot, I immediately reflexed and made a surprising move. I threw him to the gutter... he was down on the ground. But he immediately recovered another uprising energy on his veins. He raised his arms up and attacked me, trying to pin me down. The knife was not in his reach and if I could take it first before him, then it would have been better./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="91bbe862cfdbb47f74059c7739e9b411"He smirked, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You're quite good,"/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f31b6283942d7029951b2f8a76815427"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You have the chance to surrender," /spanI style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;" "You can't do this forever. If you really wanted to change your lives, then... you still have time to do that. This isn't the right way."/span I told him, catching my every single breath. I watched him, close as I did as I walked to pick up the knife. It was one meter away from me, it's between the range of my advantage./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1d545621524cf5bd0f7d4a197b7205b1"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Do you think I only have the knife?"/span he said, mockingly. I turned to him and my eyes got bigger, he was now holding a gun and he's ready to fire that on me. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please... put the gun down."/span I pleaded. I can't die... no, I can't... I need to see her... I need to have a chance to talk to her. Not now, please.../p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="34dba45c6879835feaf5a42b5ffcc50a"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""If I was to die here... then I'd take you with me!"/span he yelled like a psychotic mobster./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c0ab519250d8cc49470189bce4c1b89a"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Then he shot it... he shot it.../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9d29050bfa389bad90617ccfe61d821f"I flinched, turning sideways as I felt bullet's hard to my left shoulder. Then another shot slammed into my thigh. Even as I struggled to understand, my legs buckled and I fell to the ground. The police, just in the late of time, responded when I fell down. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""One civilian down! Three criminals left, keep responding!"/span so there are three criminals here? No... Kotoko... please someone save her!/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="de1fa660ea3dd847a968dd9aeabc69c0"Hearing that I need to see her and make her safe... the pain lasted... I said to myself that I can still stand up, I can still run away. I can still fight and I can still save her. I don't know how we got through all of this mess but... I surely don't want her to be in danger and as I long as live, I will save her. I didn't lose consciousness. I saw the man shoot back to the police, he was screaming of pain as the shooting goes em style="box-sizing: border-box;"blam-blam-blam./em Then he ran away... even though he got a series of shots on his body. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This is for my family..."/span he yelled... the consecutive shots lingered in the entire environment and I knew, it scared the whole neighborhood. I stood up... putting it in my mind that I felt no pain, just rage./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="44f207ae2d0964a7dae10a7bd0d29dbd"I ran away thinking that there are two criminals left and they might be having a hostage by now. I smell of blood... and it was dripping out of my body. I tore a part of my clothes and tied it against on my thigh, my shoulder shot was covered by the coat I am wearing... that's right. I need to act fine. I have to go strong to find her and make her safe./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="df2e7c0a66a1c1d417d15ef4da1484c8"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko!"/span I shouted... my throat was dried up but that doesn't hinder me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fd03a61ff61c5472900273ac2211804a"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko! Answer me!"/span I was pacing back and forth, still believing that I can find her./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="15bd0659a5d791af5d0b991bd42d1d77"I walked ahead... still my eyes were looking everywhere. I know that my body was losing all of my remaining strength but I need to find her. I can't go down unless I made sure that she's safe and out of this./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="b194970e12b209660168ad8b5e1b1933"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Kotoko!"/span I called her when I saw her familiar back. She faced me, eyes bewildered and confused but still, it was covered with tears. I pulled her for a tight hug, relieved to see her untouched. I kissed her hair, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Thank God, you're unharmed..."/span I tried not to shake my voice. She immediately pulled me away, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;""Naoki-san."/em/span she called me, I'm still not used to it hearing her calling me that. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I thought we made it clear."/span she continued, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I want to break up with you..." /spanshe coldly said. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please... don't make it hard for us,"/span she said. I gulped... as I was staggering and sweating. The pain came back and it was the worst that I could ever handle. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I..."/span I tried to say something against the bullets in my body. I was shot twice... twice and if I ever won't make it through again, I want to tell her for the last chance, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I want to say it again... I have to say it again."/span my voice subsided. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please... listen to everything that I am going to say." /spanI continued, I was now in panting in front of her and she looked at me suspiciously, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You're not feeling well... are you okay?" /spanI hushed her down. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""No. I'm okay. I just want to tell you for the last time before I will send you off. Will you hear my last request?"/span through my shaking my hands, I tried to hold her shoulders down firmly. She's all that I need, she's all my strength. I want her to look at me while I say this, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I... I love you very much, Kotoko. More than you know. And if we go back to the past... probably you don't know that I truly love you. In the past, I never made it clear how I love you. It's probably too late to say this... I am hoping that you give me another chance again... another time to prove it to you how good we are in the past but since... you said you don't want to start over with me again... I have no choice but to let you go. I want the best for you... and I realized... loving you this much would mean that I have to do what you want, even if that's something... hurts for me." /spanmy tears were mixed of sadness and pain. I don't want her to see me crying... because this might be the last time for her to see me. I want her to remember me that I am strong and sincere enough even though I was so weak right now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="805f6346c4c9f8a3aa56daa549c1e2dc"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Naoki-san... thank you for understanding me... and I'm sorry if I can't be the same Kotoko that you loved in the past. I just can't be... things are really different now."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="83549f771039a6f437dda709b504b45e"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;""I will love you whatever who you'll be, Kotoko./em I didn't stop loving you. And it's not a hindrance for me to stay by your side. I married you with that in my mind." /spanI repeated once again. I really want her to know how much I love her... I know she heard it already... but I want her to remember that I'm still going to love her until my death comes. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I want you to know that I am always right here... waiting for you... and loving you with all of my heart." /spanand I can't talk that much anymore, I need to save my strength to send her off and make her safe. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Common, let's go. I will take you somewhere else. I will call Dr. Senjou to fetch you and let you decide what you are going to do with your life."/span I said and grasped her hand. This might be going to be the last time that I'm going to touch her so I will surely save it my mind how it is good to know that how our hands perfectly fit with each other./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9c1cfd535c8a5dcba93c3a3e43a21384"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Thank you for understanding me, Naoki-san,"/span she mumbled./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="0aea261238c2bcf51bc3d08b99d8d5b8"We successfully got past at the south exit of the neighborhood. I have seen police waiting at the gate and I asked him, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Was it over?"/span and he shook his head, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""We found out that they were many of them but my colleagues traced their location now. It will probably be over soon."/span he said and I have kind of relief in my chest, at least my family is safe now. I just need to send Kotoko off and then, it would be the last. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Thanks,"/span I replied and pulled Kotoko towards the exit gate./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2a115caa2da7c00c8439eb97eb4a49ee"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This is all the money I have in my wallet,"/span I gave her the cash that I only have about me. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This is my credit card, the password is Kotoko930. You can get the money all you want. It's yours now. And please, make sure you eat on the train. Make sure you live your life well... please make yourself safe... that's the only way I could think that you are always fine. And please call your dad, you need to tell him everything."/span I took a step back for the pain was reminding me again that I was about to lose my whole consciousness. I blinked... trying to be on my feet once again for the last time. I am pushing myself way past at my limit... and I probably won't be able to do it any longer. I'm going down... and I need to keep it until she got into the train. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I will call him to fetch you at the station. He's your doctor so he knows your c-condition very well. And kindly please, listen to him."/span I gulped... I was losing too much blood. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Goodbye, Naoki-san."/span she waved me goodbye and went inside the train./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="3793aae5b70611713a05d6f0dfeae159"I quickly dialed the phone, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Samuel, Kotoko is heading to your place. Please help her..."/span I faded. Before I knew it, everything goes black. I collapsed in the train station and though, not many people were here now, I was hoping that somebody could find and help me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a56929b857f603f31108957a2aa843bb"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I wish she could come back to me.../em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5409222457b90df06cf106f16f157107"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fca016afc3bef1a13ea7841ae197c347"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1501be3e7150ca4440cfba349cd65624"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="646c5a39ad39f67858f00627699208b8"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Onii-chan! You're awake!"/span my mom thanked heaven when I woke up. I didn't forget what had happened to me. The first thing that came into my mind was I was wounded and shot twice. The last thing I saw before I collapsed was Kotoko. Right, she's gone... she's probably somewhere else. I tried to sit on the bed, Yuki guided me for I was adjusting myself from the pain. Both of my wounded limbs and shoulder were wrapped with bandages. I can still feel the pain... span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You have been shot twice." /spanMy dad mentioned it. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I know... I'm sorry that I made you all worry."/span I apologized. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Good thing right now is everything is all right, the criminals were caught and the neighborhood security was tightening up with strong protocols. We can't let this happen once again." /spanI sighed, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Well, that's good."/span My mind was crazy about thinking about her... I just can't believe that I let her go... after all this time, I let her go. I can't believe that I let her do what she wants, well it's probably for her best... and I need to understand and accept it now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="60b566f980521cd1c26b8dfbd9deac18"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Where's Kotoko?"/span Yuki asked me. I turned to my father-in-law, who might probably know what happened, surely Kotoko has called her after she got into the train. I told her to call him so that he knows the entire situation between us. But instead, father-in-law turned around and took the exit. I sighed... tears were welling up again and I can't cry right now. I made my decision, there's no turning back again. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""We... about Kotoko and I... we broke up."/span I managed to finish the whole sentence. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""We will sign the divorce papers soon... and... we'll be facing our own different lives."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="07474c5e4f08da0d0601645e1fd66410"My mom cried... she cried for me. I just took my silence... and prepared myself to listen to them, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""W-what? Ni-chan! What did you say?! How could you let her go? How could you make a decision like that?! Ni-chan! Tell me... that's not true! That you are only lying..."/span and she breakdown in my father's chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="cff70ba904fc4b6e37a177677556c651"Yuki's turn to ask, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Is it really true, Ni-chan?"/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="052f861ac6277012d77bdbc3f15e9ba6"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Yes. I am not kidding."/span I told the truth clean./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="01257e20a5fd187e5ea21a007cfa9ba8"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Why? Where is she now? When did it happen? How could the two of you make a decision like that? Y-you, love her, Ni-chan! You love her!" /spanhe freaked out. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You got shot twice... and you let her go... how could you let this happen to yourself? How could you let everything go? Ni-chan, wake up!"/span he tried to shake me down./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="621f4a4e0ccfb938cc2b90de4f15948e"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""That's what she wants, Yuki."/span my voice mellowed. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""What can I do? I want to win her back... I want her to remember me... as the person, she was in love with in the past but... it's no good... I can't force her... I can't force you to love me again. If she demands freedom... it's me who can give her that... because I love her so much that I am willing to do everything I can just to make her happy. I don't want to lose her... that's right..."/span and I don't know what to say... I just took the silence. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""All I know is I love her." /spanI ended it all. And I will not try to explain any further because those are enough of a reason for me to let her go. It's not easy... it's hard... and if I haven't been wounded right now, maybe I will try to run and go to her. I looked at them, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I want to be alone... could you... just please leave me for a while? I need to have space right now."/span I need to rearrange my life and count all the things that are still left in me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="7a550610ae73cd12f30a50ce6a895510"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I already lost Kotomi... and now it's Kotoko./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ad0f6cb5f360d5432d4fbd2071c2b876"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d2baa5f5d496ac19db05e2d606b7010c"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c96806428b9725499d2e0ecaa9ec015a"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="759d65c8513b3255767db548b6af8dde"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Naoki-san."/span someone familiar open the door after my family went gone, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I can't believe that it's you. When I heard that I have a new patient named Irie, I don't think it's you... but here you are."/span Nurse Jane came near to the hospital bed. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I'm sorry about what happened to you."/span she was sincere to say that. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I know, thanks for coming,"/span I replied back. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I heard what happened to Kotoko from Dr. Senjou. She... did cut ties with you. I'm sorry about that."/span I gave her a sign that she should stop talking about that because that's what I'm tiring to clear up in my mind. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""It's not your fault."/span I reclined back myself to the bed and shifted my eyes to the open window. Thinking about the past... if I hadn't left them alone, then this wouldn't happen. I brought it all upon myself./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="55f3e75d11bf35b433f978e9aaeb8144"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I'm still here, Naoki-san."/span she sat down beside me, hands were caressing my chest, the entire room was filled with complete silence. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You may lose everything you have now... but you can still have new things... that means, including me." /spanand I smelled how strong her perfume is. She pulled my head to face her. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Nurse Jane... I don't think that way."/span I want to push her but I have no exact strength to get rid of her. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Naoki-san, I can make you happy... she's not the Kotoko that you love any more! You will only get hurt if you won't stop loving her! She left you... and she might start her new life with Dr. Senjou. Don't you think she's happy right now and you... you are here... wounded with shots and sulking like that? It's not fair for you!" /spanI tried to move my head but she held it tight, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I can make you forget everything about her... you can start with me!"/span and she tried to put her lips on mine... but I just tried to avert it in anyways I could. Her lips could not compare to Kotoko./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="42be04aaea8419643e7bfdc16b4e45cb"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please stop!"/span I shouted style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;" "Please stop... you are only going to be hard for yourself... don't hurt yourself too. I am in pain... I am in a lot of pain but I never considered myself putting it on others too." /spanI told her. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please leave me alone. I don't have any idea how could I bring my life back to my feet but I certainly won't have an idea to start it with you. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I only love Kotoko. I will never love someone else."/em/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9255f67b484798fcb3ab78574329498c"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="626c9030ca25788eb828091beaba9634"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fa056ce02fadb3399ea6a0a387d224dd"./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="e274296c2bc35bab579808b883eb88b3"Those scenes made a great flashback while I was driving myself to Akita./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f75ca7a1f11dd5890253a09cf5b06fbe"I let the windows down and feel the air. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Love is still in the air, I breathed./em I listened to the music coming from the radio and it feels so good to get back to the past when you are hearing some of your favorite songs got played like a mini-flashback. Somewhat I regret it... I still regret it... but... it's okay now. I am contented with my life. I am contented with loving her. I know she's right there... and I really hope that our paths will cross soon... and I really wanted to say how strong she is to start her new life. I wanted to congratulate her for being the strongest woman in the whole world. She started her life being a teacher in a country village and I didn't hear anything about her... but I hoped years ago that she got herself remarry... I confirmed it with Samuel in the last six months. She married somebody else that she happened to know in the hallway... probably she's okay right now. And that's all I want to hear. The music took me over and I was pounding the steering wheel, feeling the body and soul of the song out to the ends of my hair./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fd085dfd9573b613abc527b9438f5625"A shaft of early-evening sunlight split the clouds as I got out of the driver's seat. The sunset is still making magic in the skies and I have always adored it... for it was making me feel better at the things I am facing right now. It may remind me that I will be getting older when the morning comes... but still, it means much to me that I still have time to do anything I want./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="0b6b69746c2f0390517a6c52ba7a2de5"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Naoki-kun... you're finally here."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fb6bab437d5ab380e019b6c70283ecae"My father in law, Aihara Shigeo was really that old as I remember. His face was all wrinkled up with weary and tiredness but he still smiles at me whenever he sees me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="142e3954950ab03f98d25ca97335f418"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I promised to be here, Oto-san."/span Though it may be awkward for us to call each other as if we're related, I still can't change how good he is to be my father and I can't erase him even though her daughter and I may have been divorced long years ago. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Yeah, and I keep waiting for you," /spanhe replied. He was already bedridden in bed so I sat beside him and let him hold my hand. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You're so kind, Naoki-san," /spanhe said through his breath. "span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"And I want you to remember that..." /spanhe added again, he had trouble speaking continuously and he needs to stop before proceeding. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""You've been so good to everyone you meet... and before I go... please... let yourself be happy." /spanTears were flowing on my face, I don't want to hear this from him. Not now, style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;" "You have always been my son... even though you and my daughter got divorced and she may have remarried someone else but... for me, you are my only son-in-law... even though I already accepted the other one. Can't help it if she's so happy with him."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4906ecd4d9b99ffb5e314b5c07184191"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""Please don't say that... please don't say that..." /spanI simply washed the tears off... span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""This is not the moment to say goodbye," /spanI mumbled. Please don't die.../p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="07b9f0f87306fb2db8a54aac3aabc0db"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I have to go now... please let yourself be happy, Naoki-san. Please let yourself love again... Kotoko is happy now... and of course, you should do the same thing too... even if in the way long back in the past, you two were so perfect for each other... there's still someone you can find that you can spend your whole life with... please let yourself to love again."/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="113b89a84e668848c4adc5702b4dd479"I made up my mind, span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I promised already that I will never love somebody else aside from her. Even if things are really different from what I thought I would be twenty years ago... I still don't want to love anybody else. I promised to you, Oto-san... that I will love her the best as I can... and I'm planning to do that until the day I die. I love her... I love her..."/span I softly mumbled./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a49cc2799c81851ec0f9a54cf7d0f8ed"After that we talked about that, Oto-san and I had a good time. I left Akita with a happy face. Everything is fine with me... seeing her from afar is such a shell of happiness for me. I can't wait for what would happen next. Even if the flower that had finally bloomed smelled like gunpowder... and it will wither enough soon... still, it can't forget that it had once bloomed with love and happiness... at last, it will be thought that once is enough... and when it dies... it will hope with the wind to fly its powdered petals to those who don't know love./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="0d002196be24b3c3f805d472ff124410"My life is special in its own way though I may not have someone with me right now. I can still look forward to happiness... I can still see things beyond me... and I can still plant the pain and turn it as my treasures. What I am right now... is for her. Upon meeting her, she turned me to be the best person as I can be. I am happy right now, crying though, at least... in the middle of lost and bereaving... I can say I am happy now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1cda4ee75a24785049fa5a852ca37245"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"The ability to love, for me, is enough./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;"-/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;"Thank you for reading until the end!br /Come visit me on wattpad: maiamedea/p