All New Really Different Realities

"I am really getting sick of not knowing where we are all the time," Kitty rubbed her sore behind as she stood up.

"Good news, we're back at Bayville High again," Althea quipped. They were on the student quad outside. "Looks like we get another chance to out our alternates."

"We are not doing that again," Scott growled at her.

"Says the guy who wrecked not one, but two buildings so far this trip," Pietro quipped.

"Hey look over there," Kitty pointed. Walking to the school were slightly older versions of Sam, Tabitha, Jubilee, Jamie, Amara, Roberto, Ray and Rahne. They looked like any typical seniors in high school.

"Hi there!" A cheerful voice surprised them. They turned around and saw Duncan Matthews dressed in a preppy outfit. "Are you guys new students from the Xavier Institute?"

"Uh how did you…?" Althea began when they noticed that neither Kurt nor Hank had their image inducers turned on. (Well Hank didn't have one in the first place.) "Oh yeah…Right."

"I heard the X-Men were supposed to get new students," Duncan shrugged. "I kind of figured you were with that group."

"You mean, those are the X-Men?" Jean pointed. "You know about them?"

"Everybody knows about them," Duncan said. "They're really cool. Hey would you like me to show you guys around?"

"Wow a reality where Duncan isn't a jerk," Kitty whispered to Jean.

"I guess it had to happen sometime," Jean shrugged.

"So in this reality the New Mutants are the original X-Men," Althea put it together.

"Reality?" Duncan asked.

"It's a long story," Hank sighed.

"Are you a new teacher?" Duncan asked. "Cool. We finally get another mutant teacher besides Mrs. Darkholme."

"You mean people don't mind mutants here?" Wanda asked.

"Hell no," Duncan shrugged. "I mean compared to the giant robots…"

"Giant robots?" Lance asked. "What giant robots?"

BRANNNGG! BRANNNGG!

An alarm sounded all over the school as several giant robots appeared in the sky. "Oh those giant robots," Lance gulped.

"Shall we run for our lives?" Todd asked.

"Yes!" Kurt said. "Let's do!"

"BATTLE STATIONS!" They heard Tabitha cry out.

"Battle stations?" Jean asked.

Before their eyes they saw the school transform into a fortress with laser cannons and blast shields. "Well it's quite obvious the faculty lounge is more up to date than most schools," Hank blinked.

"Stay with me," Duncan told them as he grabbed a helmet out and a large weapon out of his backpack. "We can team up with the X-Men!"

"This is definitely a new experience," Scott admitted as he blasted the nearest Sentinel with his optic blasts.

The New X-Men were soon fighting beside them. "You guys are new," Roberto commented. He was impressed as Wanda used her hex bolts to blast open a Sentinel. "And you're good!"

"You have no idea how good," Althea grinned as she noticed a fire hydrant. "Cyke! Hydrant at three o'clock!"

"Gotcha!" Scott blasted it open.

Althea used the streaming water to knock several Sentinels back. "Avalanche! Ready to do our special combo?"

"Ready to rock and roll!" Lance called out.

"EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI!" Both of them shouted as they focused both of their powers together to create a powerful force that tore through the Sentinels that landed.

"Whoa…" Tabitha blinked. "And I thought I created a lot of destruction!"

"You think that was fun watch this," Todd grinned. "Wanda…"

"Just get ready…" Wanda nodded. "NOW!"

Todd took a deep breath and spat out a huge amount of slime. Wanda focused her powers on the slime so that it hit and covered a Sentinel, making it unable to move. "We still haven't come up with a name for that one," Todd admitted. "I was thinking Ultimate Goop Attack."

"Not catchy enough," Wanda remarked. "I was thinking Slime Tsunami but it's kind of similar to Wavedancer's and Avalanche's."

"You also practiced that move on Quicksilver didn't you?" Scott asked.

"How did you ever guess?" Pietro grumbled. "More Sentinels coming!" Sure enough several more were seen in the air and landed for a fight.

"Uh you're going to think this is a really strange question, but where the hell did those things come from?" Kitty asked. "And why are they attacking the school?"

"Oh about twenty years ago this nutcase of a scientist named Trask decided to create the Sentinels to eliminate mutants," Roberto said. "He had the brilliant idea of making them able to think for themselves in order to fight better and also be able to manufacture themselves."

"Unfortunately the genius didn't realize that sooner or later the Sentinels would come to the conclusion that the only way to destroy all mutants was to destroy the entire human race as well!" Duncan snapped as he fired his bazooka. "So for the past fifteen years or so both humans and mutants have been fighting a war against the machines."

"Oh," Todd gulped as he saw a Sentinel explode. "And how's it going?"

"Not that bad actually," Duncan reloaded. "Although it does kind of cut in on your social life."

Twenty minutes and several destroyed Sentinels later…

"Well I learned something from that last reality," Lance remarked as they emerged from the portal. "I learned that humans and mutants can work together to blow stuff up."

"You've been in the Misfits how long and you're just learning that now?" Wanda snapped.

"I learned that in a pinch Duncan Matthews isn't that bad a shot," Kurt admitted.

"Oh yeah that's a handy lesson to learn," Scott groaned.

"At least in that last reality nobody minded when we blew stuff up," Todd shrugged. "So where are we this time?"

"It looks like the girls' locker room," Jean looked around.

"OOH!" Pietro zoomed around and took out a bra from a locker.

"Cut it out Pietro!" Kitty snapped.

"Why this one's obviously not yours," Pietro showed him the C cup bra.

"Wanda…" Kitty sighed. Wanda zapped her brother and threw him into the lockerthen slammed it shut. "Thank you."

"Let me out! Let me out!" Pietro banged on the door.

"I should leave him in there…" Jean sighed. She opened the door. "Do that again and we will leave you in there!"

"Leaving Pietro in a girl's locker? Not a smart idea," Todd snickered.

"I'm not exactly that crazy having you in here," Jean told him. "We'd better get out of here before someone sees us."

A roar outside could be heard. "Sounds like there's a game going on," Scott said.

"Let's check it out," Lance suggested.

"I don't know," Scott thought.

"Come on, Summers," Todd hopped towards the game. "It'll be fun, as long as you don't blow up the stands!"

"Yeah well you'd better keep your pick pocketing under control!" Scott warned him as they went towards the field.

"You know very well that I'm in therapy for that," Todd sniffed. "I've made a lot of progress!"

"You have?" Kurt looked at him. "Where did you get that ipod in your pocket? You didn't have it when we started this trip!"

"Oh this?" Todd blinked as he stared at the protruding object. "I uh, found it in Duncan Matthew's locker a couple of realties back." Everyone looked at him. "What? I didn't take it from the nice one!"

"Yeah those sessions are really helping," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S MUTANT BALL GAME!" The voice of Principal Kelly could be heard. "Tonight Bayville High's X-Men take on Sheldon Falls' Brotherhood in a rock 'em sock 'em bash!"

"Mutant Ball?" Kurt blinked. "You don't think…?"

"Come on! This I gotta see!" Lance said. They made their way to the bleachers. But it was not a football field they saw. It looked like a huge battlefield complete with cannons, barbed wire and mutant powers running amok. On one side of the field was the X-Men bench with Hank as a coach wearing a Bayville High red jacket and hat over his blue fur. On the other side was Mystique wearing a black and red coaches outfit.

The teams were playing a bizarre version of football only they used weapons as well as their mutant powers.

"AVALANCHE YOU CALL THAT AN EARTHQUAKE! COME ON! I'VE SEEN FEATHERS MAKE MORE OF AN IMPACT THAN THAT!" Coach Mystique shouted. "THAT'S IT TOLENSKY! SLIME HIM! SLIME HIM!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Coach McCoy shouted. "CYCLOPS I TOLD YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR THE SLIME! YOU CALL THAT A PASS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? YOU'RE KILLING ME! YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

"Can you believe this?" Kitty blinked.

"It appears in this reality mutants are not only accepted, they are prized for their athletic abilities," Hank remarked. He winced as a snowball barely missed him and hit a wall. "And encouraged to create as much destruction as possible."

"OFFSIDES? HOW THE HELL CAN A SNOWBALL BE OFFSIDES YOU STUPID REFEREE?" Coach McCoy screamed at the official.

"Look I call 'em like I see 'em!" Bolivar Trask was dressed as a referee. "So back off!"

"Don't forget to visit your concession stand!" Kelly's voice was heard. "Whether it's quenching your thirst with a soda, satisfying your hunger with a hot dog or fixing up that migraine with some powerful drugs! We have what you need! Try the blue ones! They're really good!"

"Okay I can learn something from this," Lance thought. "Mutant powers in sports can be profitable…and Trask looks pretty good in stripes."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? ICEMAN HOW COULD YOU FREEZE YOUR OWN FEET?" Coach McCoy shouted. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"WAY TO GO DUKES! THAT'S IT BABY!" Coach Mystique shouted. "DUKES! DUKES WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU NUTS? DUKES GET YOUR BIG BEHIND OVER HERE!"

Fred lumbered over wearing an ill fitting uniform. "Yeah Coach?"

"Dukes what the hell are you doing? I told you before the game to make at least sixteen sacks to keep up the point spread!" Coach Mystique snapped.

"Sorry, I thought you said sixty five," Fred shrugged.

"For crying out loud do you realize how much that's going to annoy the bookies?" Coach Mystique groaned.

"But we're still ahead," Fred told her. "The score is 154 to 25."

"I SAID FIFTY FOUR TO TWENTY FIVE!" Mystique shouted at him. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THE SCORE FIFTY FOUR TO TWENTY FIVE! THERE GOES THE FREAKING POINT SPREAD!"

"This is just plain nuts," Scott blinked as he watched.

"Yeah but they got some great hot dogs," Pietro had zipped back. He had taken off to get a snack and had a Brotherhood Hat on as well as two chili dogs and a soda.

"You know I could go for a snack," Kurt thought aloud.

"Oh I can't stand this…" Scott groaned.

They watched the game and Pietro sneaked snacks for them. He also grabbed a playbook. "Hey did you know the X-Men are 3-0 this season?" Pietro read. "That's three losses actually. While the Brotherhood is having another splendid year. Looks like they might win the championship, again!"

"You're going to keep that playbook just to rub it in our faces aren't you?" Scott glared at him.

"Can you blame me?" Pietro chuckled as he stuffed it into his back pocket.

"Are the thirty minutes up yet?" Scott asked.

"OFFSIDE SNOWBALL! X-MEN! FIVE YARD PENALTY!" Trask shouted.

"KILL THE REF! KILL THE REF!" Coach McCoy screamed as he tackled Referee Trask.

"And I thought our Mutant Ball games drove the adults nuts," Kurt blinked as the two men wrestled on the field.

"Okay times up! Let's go!" Scott looked at his watch. "I've seen enough!"

"But I wanna see the halftime show!" Todd whined.

"Just get over here!" Kurt grabbed him and dragged him over to the rest of the group to teleport away.

The next thing the gang knew they materialized into the middle of a huge lush jungle. "This different enough for you?" Todd asked.

"It's very…" Hank blinked. "Green."

"Well duh," Pietro mocked. "We are in a jungle."

"That makes no sense," Kitty said. "Unless we see a whole bunch of us in Tarzan or caveman outfits."

"I don't think so," Wanda pointed. "Look."

Surrounding them were dozens of cat sized snails with big googly eyes and multi-colored shells. "Tell me this is not us," Scott groaned.

ZAP! One snail shot a laser from its eyes in order to knock down some strange looking fruit.

"I think the odds that they are have just jumped a bit," Kurt remarked. "By I dunno, a hundred percent!"

"Snails…" Kitty looked around. The snails were making a friendly purring sound. "We're in a dimension filled with giant purring snails."

"Snails don't purr!" Pietro snapped. Then he thought for a second. "Do they?"

"Well these ones certainly do," Hank looked at the curious group around his feet. "Fascinating!"

"Not to self, never eat escargot," Jean said. "Ever!"

"Great we end up in one of Spongebob Squarepants' fantasies," Althea quipped.

"Okay this reality is even weirder than the unicorn one," Kurt remarked. "And I thought that one would be pretty hard to top."

"Well at least we can catch our breath," Kitty said. "So to speak. Right Lance? Lance?"

"I have to watch and learn," Lance repeated to himself. "I have to watch and learn."

"Mrowwww," A pink giant snail slunk onto his shoulder and started to purr.

"Although I have no idea what I can possibly learn from this!" Lance groaned.

Next: I finally do a comic based chapter, but which comic? I guarantee most of you will never guess which version of the X-Men I do next! It's gonna be weird…Very weird.