Dead or Alive

"Great just great! We end up in a world populated by zombies!" Kurt yelled as he ran for his life. Several zombie versions of the X-Men chased them in a graveyard.

"Just shut up and run!" Althea snapped.

"I wish Dead Girl had come with us," Kitty grumbled. "She'd have talked some sense into these guys!"

"Well she isn't so just deal with it!" Lance snapped. "Hasn't the thirty minutes been up yet?"

"Two more minutes!" Jean told them.

"Oh goody!" Lance groaned.

"This does not qualify as a fun universe!" Todd yelled. "Forge promised us only fun universes!"

"Yeah like that idiot would ever deliver," Wanda groaned.

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Trinity gleefully flew over them blasting zombies with their powers. "We're blasting zombies in the morning!"

"Of course my sisters would love this!" Althea groaned.

Scott blasted apart a zombie Tabitha only to have her reform. "It's not hard to knock them down! It's getting them to stay down that's the trouble!"

"This is like seriously a bad Danger Room session gone totally out of control!" Kitty screeches as she phased out of the grasp of a zombie Logan.

A zombie Jean popped up out of nowhere and was instantly blasted apart by Wanda. "You've wanted to do that for some time haven't you?" Jean gave her a look.

"How did you ever guess?" Wanda asked sarcastically.

"Hey any reality where you can kill Jean over and over again can't be all bad," Pietro snickered.

"Oh really?" Jean used her telekinesis to impale a zombie Pietro with several metal spikes that were lying on the ground. "I could say the same for you!"

Todd was whacking a zombie Nightcrawler with a board and Kurt was whacking a zombie Toad with a board. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" Todd shouted. "Hey this is kind of fun!"

"DIE! Yah it is," Kurt agreed.

"Good thing our zombies are pretty stupid," Todd said as he whacked his zombie some more."They're barely fighting back!"

"Mine's not that much different than the original," Kurt grumbled underneath his breath.

"Two minutes up! Time to fly!" Trinity cheered as they opened a portal with their machine.

"Finally!" Jean groaned as she opened up a portal of her own. "Come on! Let's get out of here!"

They all went through the portal only to land in a heap in a building of some sort. "Dare I ask where are we now?" Hank sighed.

"We could always ask those guys with the guns," Todd gulped as he pointed to several armed soldiers surrounding them.

One of the soldiers held a device in his hands. "Colonel Fury we have confirmation of alternate positronic emissions left over from the portal!"

A tall bald black man with an eye patch and a SHIELD uniform walked in. "Since when is Fury black?" Todd blinked. "Which is actually a cool thing but I'm just saying…"

"Great more lost inter-dimensional tourists," Fury sighed as he looked at the group. "This is the third group this month! Stand down men! We're obviously not under attack."

"Well wait until my sisters get here," Althea warned him. "Then that could change."

"Okay are you X-Men, Brotherhood or other?" Fury sighed.

"Some of us are X-Men," Jean told him. "Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Beast, Shadowcat and Myself."

"Rest of us are Misfits," Althea said. "I'm Wavedancer and these are my team mates, Toad, Avalanche, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch…"

"I know who you are," Fury said. "Well most of you. Misfits? That's a new one."

"We're military mutants affiliated with GI Joe," Althea explained.

"GI Joe?" Fury blinked. "As in the action figures?"

"The what?" Todd asked.

"Action figures," Another solider said. "You know like Duke, Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Shipwreck…?"

"They're real people in our world," Althea gave him a strange look. "In fact…Shipwreck's my dad."

"You gotta be kidding me," Fury blinked. "Okay this is definitely a new one!"

"And I thought that all monkey X-Men team was weird," One soldier whispered to another.

"I'm sorry about the intrusion," Hank apologized. "We're trying to get back to our home universe. It was really an accident we got into this mess in the first place."

"That device there," Fury pointed at the IM NUTS device. "Did someone named Forge build it?"

"How did you ever guess?" Scott said sarcastically.

"At least we're not the only ones he does it to," Fury sighed. "Come on, I might as well brief you on the situation in this world."

He led them to another room where several familiar mutants were. "Welcome to Freedom Force," He introduced the adult mutants in the room. "Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, Blob, Toad, Pyro…"

"Hello!" Todd waved happily.

"Another group of inter dimensional travelers?" Avalanche asked.

"At least they're not monkeys," Scarlet Witch shrugged. "Although I do see a younger version of Pietro there."

"Where am I?" Pietro looked around.

"Off with our father, the traitor," Scarlet Witch grunted.

"Also in our group are two former X-Men Rogue and…" Fury introduced. The second female with blonde hair and a red and black uniform Jean recognized immediately.

"Lisa Lizer!" Jean gasped.

"You know her?" Scott asked.

"In our world she was one of the captives in Neverland," Jean explained. (Evolution XMJ for those who've forgotten.) "Remember the anti-telepath?"

"That's not all I can do Red," Lisa grinned. "Let's just say I have a few more tricks up my sleeve."

"Wait Lisa Lizer was an X-Man in this world?" Jean asked.

"The key word is was, past tense," Lisa told her. "I turned on them when they decided to attack the government."

"What?" Scott asked. "What happened?"

"Here's the short version of the story," Lisa said. "I went to the X-Men when they outed me as a mutant in front of my parents. Needless to say my folks weren't exactly thrilled and I wasn't happy that the only place I could go was to the Institute."

"Between her anti-telepath abilities and her attitude she didn't make too many friends there," Avalanche explained.

"Except for me," Rogue admitted.

"She was the only reason I didn't run off and join the Brotherhood," Lisa explained. "Well that and they lived in a really sucky house."

"So what did happen?" Kitty asked.

"Well…" Rogue sighed. "You see there was this Mutant Registration Bill being proposed and we learned where they were keeping all the identities of mutants. The Professor wanted us all to go attack the building and delete all the files. Lisa refused to go and talked me out of helping them."

"I didn't like the fact that the so called law abiding X-Men were more than willing to break the rules when it suited them," Lisa explained. "So…I made a call to the Mutant Registration Office and warned them about the attack. I even managed to get the Brotherhood to help me try and stop them. Long story short, the X-Men are now wanted fugitives thanks to me. That's why I'm called Backstab."

"What's left of 'em," Toad snorted. "Several of 'em are either in prison or turned against the X-Geeks. Believe it or not, they all joined up with Magneto! Isn't that a kick in the pants?"

"So the Brotherhood are the good guys and the X-Men are criminals?" Scott asked. "That's hard to believe!"

"It's not that hard to believe if you think about it," Lance pointed out. "I mean you X-Men are still technically vigilantes right?"

"I hate to admit it Avalanche but you do have a valid point," Hank sighed. "Our activities in the X-Men are barely tolerated only because they suit most of the needs of the powers that be in our government."

"In other words if we ever do something to step out of line or if the government gets tired of us they'd send the Misfits after us?" Kurt asked pointing at the Misfits.

"Actually something tells me they might send someone else after you," Althea said. "They might think we'd be too emotionally involved."

"Yeah some of you would be a little too happy to do it!" Scott glared at Lance.

"I know Lance would love a strip search detail if a certain Kitty was involved," Pietro snickered.

"Wanda…" Both Lance and Kitty said.

"I'm on it," Wanda used her hexing abilities to slam Pietro into the wall.

"OW! THAT HURTS!" Pietro cried out in pain.

"You know I miss doing that," Scarlet Witch snickered.

"Well if you want…" Wanda made a motion.

"Really?" Scarlet Witch asked.

"Be my guest!" Wanda grinned.

"Now wait a minute…" Pietro held up his hands. "You can't just…YEOWWW!" He was slammed against the wall again. "OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Now this brings back memories," Scarlet Witch grinned.

"OW! OW! OW!" Pietro yelled. "I MISS THE ZOMBIE UNIVERSE!"

"So are mutants hated here too or what?" Lance casually asked his alternate.

"Not as much since the X-Men became criminals," Avalanche told him. "Ironically since we fought against them more mutants have signed up for government service so…"

CRASH!

BANG!

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"WHERE DID ALL THAT CHOCOLATE PUDDING COME FROM?" Someone screamed.

FOOM!

"THE PUDDING'S ON FIRE! THE PUDDING'S ON FIRE!"

"Speaking of criminals," Althea sighed. "It sounds like my sisters are here."

"What are they some kind of super villains?" Fury asked.

"More like super hyper genius nutcase thirteen year olds," Althea sighed. "Who have their own machine to travel through dimensions."

"Another group of them?" Rogue moaned. "What are we on the alternate reality sightseeing tour or something?"

Just then another portal opened up. Several monkeys in X-Men uniforms showed up. "Oh we're back here again," Said a monkey in a Cyclops costume.

"I told you to ask for directions at that last universe!" A monkey with red hair and a green uniform shook her tail.

"Not the monkeys again…" Fury moaned.

"This trip is getting weirder and weirder…" Scott moaned.

You know I almost wrote a story about Lisa Lizer that happened like that and maybe I will someday. It would be fun to make up another alternate universe! He he…

Speaking of which, there's more fun ahead!