Apocalypse Wow
"You seriously expect us to take out thirteen Apocalypses by ourselves?" Scott yelled at the Timebroker. "You're crazy!"
"Actually I'm the one that's crazy," Bender pointed out.
"You'll be working with the Exiles," Timebroker said. "They have had experience in fighting Apocalypse too. And don't forget Bishop and Bender."
"You're still crazy," Scott told him.
"No I'm crazy!" Bender mocked. "Try to keep up will you?"
"But thirteen of them?" Kitty asked. "How are we gonna do that?"
"Well for starters it's not really thirteen," Morph shrugged. "See the Apocalypse from Universe F-O-X 25 is pretty lame. All he does is scream a lot. And the one from Universe 45-SI7 is a complete idiot. So it's more like you have to take out eleven of them."
"Oh yeah that makes a big difference!" Wanda threw up her hands.
"And you won't exactly be alone," Timebroker punched in something on his keypads. "I've called in some backup."
Appearing before them was a tall man in battle armor with white hair. His right arm and hand appeared to be made of some kind of metal. His right eye glowed brightly. He also carried a huge gun. "Okay he's got a really big gun, that's a good thing," Todd remarked.
"This is Cable. He's from another alternate timeline in your future," Timebroker explained. "He's been able to go back and forth from the Nexus from time to time to assist us in other matters. Don't ask what. Those are even longer stories."
"How come he can go back home but I can't?" Bishop yelled. "And don't tell me it's complicated!"
"It's complicated," Timebroker groaned.
"I told you not to tell me that!" Bishop snapped.
"Hey Lance," Todd whispered while Bishop was ranting and the Timebroker was trying to explain. "Remember way back on the first Asteroid M? When Magneto tricked Summers and his brother into mutating? Is it just me or does this guy look a lot like…?"
"Yeah I see it too Toad," Lance said. "Gotta be a coincidence."
"Look as much as I'd love to continue to watch Bishop's mental breakdown here," Scott finally interrupted. "But I don't see how one guy is going to help us fight off all those Apocalypses!"
"I've fought Apocalypse in our future many times before," Cable told them. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
"Good are there forty or fifty more of you?" Todd asked.
"Let's just say I'm counting on someone else showing up later," Cable remarked.
"Oh that makes me feel much better," Pietro said sarcastically.
"Wait a minute why did you just send all those other Scarlet Witches home?" Lance asked. "We could have used their help!"
"You're not that bright are you?" Bender gave him a look and rapped Lance on the skull. "HELLO! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE CENTER OF ALL REALITES HERE! THE CENTER OF ALL POSSIBILITES AND PROBABILITES THAT HAVE EXISTED OR EVER COULD EXIST!"
"Do you really think sending dozens of mutants with reality altering powers into the Nexus is a good thing?" Cable folded his arms. "One is more than enough!"
"You have a point," Lance rubbed his head.
"YES! HE CAN BE TAUGHT!" Bender raised his hands.
"I think what we should do first is come up with a plan to distract them," Scott thought aloud.
"Actually they're already pretty distracted," Timebroker winced as the ground shook. "That's the heart of the problem."
"What do you mean?" Jean asked.
"Think about it Red," Magnus gave her a look. "You have 13 very powerful megalomaniacs that all think exactly alike. They are all in the same place in an area that is responsible for the fabric of reality. This can literally make someone a god. However the problem is only one person can operate and control the center of the Nexus. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
BOOM!
KA-BOOM!
RRRUUMMMMBLE! BOOM! THUD! BAM!
"They're all fighting for control aren't they?" Scott guessed what was happening.
"Bingo," Blink sighed. "Give the man a Kewpie Doll."
"I'd settle for some alcohol right now," Scott groaned.
"You don't drink," Jean looked at him.
"No, but I've been thinking of starting," Scott told her.
"I don't suppose you could just let them kill each other and then we could just take out the last guy standing huh?" Todd asked.
"Can't because of two minor problems," The Timebroker explained. "Most of these Apocalypses have the ability to siphon off mutant energy and powers. The more they drain each other, the more powerful some of them will get."
"Until there's just one really big and really powerful Apocalypse," Althea guessed. "Who would be impossible to take down!"
"Exactly," Timebroker nodded.
"What's the other reason?" Lance asked.
BOOOM!
RUMBLE!
CRACK!
Pieces of matter and crystal fell from the ceiling. "If don't stop them soon they're going to literally tear the fabric of reality apart!" Mimic groaned. "There will be nothing left to put together!"
"How did they all manage to get in there in the first place?" Cable asked.
"You can thank Reality 616 for that!" Mimic told him. "Again when the mutant's powers were wiped out for the second time and the energy released escaped into the entire multiverse it created cracks in the center of reality. And guess who fell through the cracks?"
"Wait, second time?" Wanda asked. "Did you say second time?"
"Yes and believe me it was stupid enough the first time!" Magnus groaned.
"But thirteen of them?" Cable grumbled. "I know it's supposed to be an unlucky number but come on…"
"Which one's ours?" Kurt asked as he looked at the monitors covering the battle in the Nexus. "They all look alike. Well except that one in clown makeup."
"And the female one," Lance pointed out.
"I AM SUPREME! I AM MIGHTY!" One Apocalypse shouted. "ALL SHALL BOW TO MY WILL! YOU SHALL ALL BE CRUSHED LIKE ANTS AGAINST…AAGGGHHHH!"
"Boy that one really is lame," Kurt admitted as another Apocalypse cleaned the ranting Apocalypse's clock. "That's the FOX one right?"
"Bingo," Morph nodded.
"Well that explains why that other Apocalypse is kicking his butt so easily," Althea remarked as another Apocalypse attacked the FOX one.
"The one doing the butt kicking is your Apocalypse," Timebroker told them.
"Figures…" Lance groaned.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" The FOX Apocalypse screamed as his strength was absorbed bytheir Apocalypse and then turned to dust.
"Looks like one less Apocalypse to worry about," Todd blinked.
"Yeah now all we have to worry about is taking down twelve…" Kitty began.
RRRRUMMBLE!
"PERISH!"
"AAAAHHHHHH!"
"Eleven of them," Kitty finished.
"Told you," Morph said. "I was sure the one in the clown outfit would lose in that fight!"
"I still think it's impossible to destroy eleven Apocalypses at once," Hank shook his head.
"That's why we're not going to destroy them," Cable told him. "We're going to have to force them back into the cracks of reality they fell through."
"Okay and how do we do that?" Pietro blinked.
"Even though the Nexus is the heart of operations here I can do something from this room," Timebroker explained. He focused and a strange looking computer appeared right out of the wall. "I can redirect some of the excess energy to widen and open a portal in one reality at a time. Once we get an Apocalypse through to the correct portal I can shut down the portal and use the temporal flux to heal the special anomalies by synchronizing the bio rhythms…"
He stopped and looked at the confused mutants. "I can open a portal and once you shove an Apocalypse through to his correct dimension I can close the rift."
"How are we going to know which is which?" Lance asked. "What if we shove the wrong Apocalypse in the wrong portal?"
"In the first place since each Apocalypse created the rift combined with it's own unique energy signature that's impossible. Only the right Apocalypse will be able to go through and no one else. Besides, I'll know which Apocalypse goes where by watching your progress on the monitors," Timebroker showed them.
"What about the ones that were turned to dust?" Althea asked.
"I can always use some other temporal energy to take care of those holes," Timebroker worked on the computer. "I'm doing it right now."
"So basically all we have to do is make the Apocalypses fall down into the right holes?" Kurt asked. "That doesn't sound so hard."
RUMMBLE! THUD! SMASH! THUNDER! CRACK!
"You were saying?" Cable gave him a look.
"Timebroker we have got to talk about our medical benefits once this is all over," Sunfire groaned.
RUMMMBLE! CRASH! BANG!
"I suggest you hurry," Timebroker grumbled as another crystal fell from the ceiling.
"Time to lock and load people," Cable readied his weapon. "We focus on one Apocalypse at a time! Just attack that one head on and when it's down we move to the next! MOVE OUT!"
"Uh can we discuss this for a moment?" Kurt gulped. Suddenly he found himself with the rest of the team in the Nexus. "Apparently not."
"BLAST TARGET NUMBER ONE!" Cable blasted the nearest Apocalypse. He stumbled backwards for a moment. Scott, Wanda, Jean and Lance used their powers on a combined push to make him fall back even further. Suddenly a green glowing hole appeared and the Apocalypse fell through.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" The Apocalypse screamed as the portal closed after him.
"Well that one wasn't so tough," Pietro said.
"Don't get cocky," Cable snapped as he dodged an energy blast. "Now that they realize we're here the others won't go down so easily!"
"What are those insects doing here?" The Female Apocalypse snarled as the team took on another Apocalypse.
"Who cares?" The Clown Apocalypse chortled as they sent another surprised Apocalypse staggering into another portal. "They're taking care of the competition!"
"That is their plan you fool!" Another Apocalypse snarled. "ATTACK!"
"Here they come!" Lance shouted as he sent out a huge seismic wave at them.
RRUMMMBLE! One Apocalypse was caught in the cross fire and knocked to his knees. Not to mention a lot of the crystalline walls started to get cracks in them.
"Avalanche the plan is to stop the Apocalypses from tearing the Nexus apart!" Cable snapped. "Not do the job for them!"
"Hey batta, batta, batta…" Bender appeared with a huge baseball bat. "Hey batta, batta, batta…" One Apocalypse ran towards him. "SWING BATTA!"
With a surprising amount of strength Bender knocked that Apocalypse backwards and he fell right into another portal. "The little weirdo is stronger than he looks," Bishop grumbled as he blasted his weapon.
"Three down, eight to go!" Bender yelled. "Or wait is it really five down, eight to go? Does it count if an Apocalypse takes out another Apocalypse? If an Apocalypse falls in the woods and no one hears him does he really make sound? And how much applesauce could an Apocalypse eat if an Apocalypse could eat applesauce?"
"JUST SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" Bishop yelled.
The battle was fierce and unrelenting. So fierce and terrifying it was beyond the writing skill of any fan fiction writer. Slowly but surely Apocalypse after Apocalypse fell into their respective portals. But the team had casualties of their own.
"Wavedancer, Shadowcat and Nightcrawler are out cold!" Morph dragged Nightcrawler behind a broken series of strange crystals for safety. "And Blink's down for the count!"
Nocturne was injured as well and watching over the others. "That energy blast the clown sent out was really powerful."
"HEY!" Bender snapped. "It wasn't my fault! I was nowhere near…"
"Not you!" Bishop snapped. "The other clown! The Clown Apocalypse!"
"Oh that clown!" Bender remembered.
Just then Todd collided with Bender from behind. "Ooh! Look at the pretty birdies…" Bender said in a funny voice. "Let's count them! One! One little birdie! Two…Two little…Oh forget it I'm going to pass out now." Which he did.
"Toad!" Pietro yelled. He ran and grabbed both Todd and Bender and managed to get them to the area where the other injured parties were. "This is not good! We're falling pretty fast! Even I'm starting to get tired!"
Hank and Sunfire were knocked down next. "This is so not good people!" Bishop shouted as he blasted away. But his weapons had little or no effect on the remaining mutant warlords.
"Where's Trinity when you need them?" Pietro yelled.
"YEAAAAAAAA!" Trinity flew by zapping one Apocalypse backwards into a portal.
"Oh there they are…" Pietro blinked.
BOOM!
To everyone's shock Trinity was blasted backwards. They were knocked unconscious. "Okay now I am starting to get worried," Pietro gulped.
"Just keep firing!" Scott shouted. "Keep…" He was blasted into a crystal wall by an Apocalypse.
"Scott!" Jean shouted. "NO!"
"Out cold!" Pietro shouted as he looked him over.
"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEAAAAA!" Jean screamed, a huge Phoenix image surrounding her. She created a telekinetic blast so powerful it knocked two of the Apocalypses backwards and one fell into a portal.
Then she turned on the other Apocalypse, the one who knocked out Scott. "You're going to pay you monster!" She snarled. Telekinetically she backhanded him into a wall several times before the portal opened up to return him to his home world.
"Whoa! She just wiped out two of them without even trying!" Lance's jaw dropped.
"Yeah," Cable noticed something. He fiddled with his weapon. "Which means it's time for me to do this!" He aimed his weapon and fired. It hit its target.
Jean jolted in shock as she plummeted to the ground. Cable ran up and managed to catch her just in time. "Don't worry she's just stunned," He explained.
"SHE'S STUNNED?" Pietro yelled.
"What did you do that for?" Lance shouted. "Whose side are you on?"
"The side that doesn't want all reality to blast into oblivion!" Cable snapped. "Take a look at your friend over there!"
To their shock the unconscious Todd began to shift and convulse and start to grow. "Uh oh…" Pietro gulped. "Tell me we're not going to get a little visit from Toad's not that much better half!"
"We are," Cable said.
"I told you not to tell me!" Pietro shouted as Tetsukaeru emerged before their eyes. "But why? I mean with his power combined with the Phoenix's…"
"NO!" Cable shouted. "That's a very bad idea!"
"Bad?" Pietro blinked.
"Bad," Cable grunted as he watched an enraged Tetsukaeru take on the remaining Apocalypses. "I'm talking putting nitroglycerin together with even more nitroglycerin and a nuclear reactor bad."
"The Power of the Phoenix and the Spirit Power from the Destiny Stone are both polar opposites," Magnus explained. "At least that's how Timebroker explained it to us."
"But how is that possible?" Lance asked.
"Less talking more fighting!" Cable snarled as he blasted his laser at the nearest Apocalypse. "There's three left and we're gonna need all the power we can get to take 'em down!"
"And it looks like Ol' TK has got enough to spare," Lance pointed as Tetsukaeru blasted another Apocalypse into another portal with a great telekinetic power.
Only the female Apocalypse and the one from their world were left. "How could these insignificant insects get the better of us?" The Female one snarled.
"There is only one option left," Apocalypse snarled. "Take my hand! We must combine our powers to drive them off!"
"Agreed!" She took his hand and they focused. Soon a strange purple energy was emitting from them.
"TAKE COVER!" Cable yelled. Most of them did. Except for Tetsukaeru who was caught in the massive energy blast. He was flung savagely backwards. The ground rumbled beneath the energy and more of the Nexus crumbled around them.
"This is not good people," Cable said.
"NO KIDDING?" Bishop snapped. "It can't get much worse than this!"
"Hey! I'm back!" Bender popped up behind him.
"I had to say that…" Bishop groaned.
"Whoa! A whole lot of shaking going on! Did I miss anything?" Bender asked.
"No you're just about to see the end of the universe as we know it," Pietro told him.
"Great! I didn't miss the good part!" Bender said excitedly. He saw Tetsukaeru struggling to get up from the massive energy blast. "Hey Dragon Boy! Let me give you a hand!"
"Scarlet Witch! Use your powers now! Hit them with everything you've got!" Cable yelled.
Wanda did so blasting the shield with her powers. Combined with Bender and Tetsukaeru's abilities it broke with a huge rumble. It sent Tetsukaeru and the Apocalypses flying backwards. The female Apocalypse fell through a portal.
"Last one standing," Cable grunted as he managed to get to his feet. "And it's the one I want!"
"So close…" Apocalypse snarled as he struggled to get to his feet. "I was so close to complete immortality and perfection…"
"You know what they say," Cable fired on him. "Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!"
Apocalypse was worn out from the attack but still managed to create a small shield after the first blast. "I will not be defeated by nameless rabble such as you…"
"Well then let me fix that," Cable shouted as he hit another setting on his weapon. "The name's Cable! Remember it! Because I'm the one who's going to kick your blue ass all over time and space for as long as you remember!"
Suddenly Apocalypse lifted into the air, but not of his own accord. He winced in pain. "So a telekinetic and a telepath…," Apocalypse hissed. "And a formidable one at that. I'll remember this, mutant."
"GOOD!" Cable used his powers to toss Apocalypse into the final portal. The mutants that were awake cheered.
"We did it!" Lance staggered. "Barely." He saw Tetsukaeru revert back to Todd. "And Toad's back! Yippee…"
"We did it! We did it!" Bender danced around Bishop. "Give me a hug big guy!" He jumped up and hugged Bishop.
"Now if we could only put you through a hole!" Bishop glared at Bender.
"Good job," Timebroker appeared. "And even with the Phoenix and Tetsukaeru in the same place we averted a disaster of epic proportions."
"Okay could you explain the whole thing with Tetsukaeru and the Phoenix together not being a good thing?" Pietro asked. "I'm confused!"
"And for once it's not just him," Wanda agreed. "What's going on?"
The Timebroker sighed. "I'm only telling you this so you'll understand. To put it simply as I can both the Phoenix Force and the Spirit Power emerged from the creation of the time and space. However while the Phoenix Force draws its power from the stars, the power within Toad resides within the heart of every planet ever created. Both are equally infinite and yet limited to a particular universe. In your world that power resided inside what you call the Destiny Stone."
"Yeah until Toad got his mitts on it somehow and it sucked into his body," Pietro said. "That we get. Okay they're opposites. Jean's Miss Perfect and Toad is a perfect disaster. That's pretty obvious."
"It is?" Lance asked.
"He just said the Phoenix Force and this thing inside Toad are opposites! And you can't find two more opposite mutants than those two," Wanda groaned. "So naturally because they're opposites they wouldn't get along."
"Correct," Timebroker nodded. "The Phoenix is the embodiment of Destruction and Creation, while the Spirit is the embodiment of Chaos and Order."
"Wait a minute," Lance held up his hand. "Chaos, order? Destruction, creation? Aren't those the same things?"
"Not necessarily," Timebroker said. "It's very complicated."
"Everything is complicated around here," Bishop grumbled.
Timebroker ignored him. "Basically the Phoenix lives to devour and create worlds while Tetsukaeru's prime objective is to protect it's host world and family…"
"While destroying everything else in it's path," Pietro finished.
"Well…Yes," Timebroker coughed.
"Wait you said destroy worlds," Wanda thought. "Are you telling me Jean…? Why the hell aren't you telling the X-Men this? I think this is something that they should know about!"
"Some of them already do," Timebroker explained. "In their own way."
"Don't get me wrong," Pietro said. "As much as I'd love to be in on a secret that the X-Geeks don't know about, something tells me this one's a little too big for us!"
"Yeah at least let Mr. McCoy or Al in on this!" Lance said.
"Althea has her own part to play in this," Timebroker told them. "It's just not time yet."
"Oh no…" Realization hit Wanda. "She's somehow tied into this Spirit thing too isn't she?"
"Uh huh," Timebroker nodded. "She is the variable that may give you the chance you need once the battle begins."
"Why not tell her…?" Pietro asked.
"She must discover the power within herself," Timebroker said. "And without aid or knowledge. It is the only way."
"Oh boy…"Wanda winced. "I'm starting to get a big headache!"
"But what about the X-Men?" Lance asked. "Shouldn't they kind of be warned about this?"
"It's too soon," Timebroker sighed. "Trust me, it's safer this way if only the three of you and your caretakers know about this. For now. I've seen this story play out a million different variations a billion times. And it always ends in a showdown between the two forces. But sometimes the destruction caused can be diminished if not averted and the dark future can be altered."
"In English," Lance folded his arms.
"Keep your mouths shut around those two and the X-Men," Cable grunted. "That clear enough for you?"
"Just trust me on this one," Timebroker sighed. "Please?"
"All right," Lance sighed. "We'll do it. But we gotta tell Roadblock and the other adults back at the Pit at least."
"Understood," Timebroker nodded. "It's time to wake the others now. Then I can send you all back to your own proper dimension."
"And that way you won't wreck any more," Magnus snorted.
"Bender if you don't mind…" Timebroker sighed.
"Of course, arise! Arise!" Bender squealed as he brought out a wand and waved it over the unconscious mutants. Nothing happened. He shook it. "I SAID ARISE ALREADY! Come on! I just changed its batteries five centuries ago!"
He shook it but nothing happened. "Okay let's try this," Bender thought. He bonked Scott on the head. "WAKE UP!"
"OW!" Scott shouted as he sat up.
"So that's how it works!" Bender grinned. "Okay! Here we go!" He happily began to bonk the others.
"Oh what hit me?" Jean moaned as she revived along with the others.
"He did," Bishop pointed to Bender.
"Oh sure blame the guy with the wand singing the Bonking Song!" Bender snapped. "This is the way we bonk the people on the head! On the head! On the head! This is the way we bonk people on the head early in the morning!"
"OW! OW! OW!" Scott shouted. "STOP HITTING ME ALREADY!"
"Is it over?" Kurt looked at the mayhem around him. "I mean is it really over?"
"Yes and with all the surviving Apocalypses returned back to their proper realties things can finally quiet down here," Timebroker nodded.
"Now the real work can begin," Bender said cheerfully as he made some carpenter's tools appear. "I can redecorate! Oh I've always wanted a sun roof there!"
"Wait did he just say what I think he said?" Kurt blinked. "About Apocalypse?"
"Yup," Scott groaned.
"When you say proper realties that means…?" Kitty asked.
"That your Apocalypse has just returned to your Earth and is probably free by now," Timebroker said.
"Oh…Goody…" Hank winced.
"The others back home are not going to be happy…" Scott sighed.
"I'm not exactly thrilled about this myself," Lance moaned.
"Rogue said this was trip a bad idea," Jean moaned. "Why didn't we listen to her?"
For those of you wondering there was a character named Bender in the Fox cartoon of the 90's! I liked him. Then again I like all the weird ones. Next the trip ends in more ways than one!