Am I Missing?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. That includes Gilmore Girls, Luke and Lorelai, and especially Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: Lorelai gives Luke back the ring when she realizes she can't handle the lies anymore. It's up to Luke to fix what he broke.
Authors Note: I am a total Java Junkie. Well junkie. I intend for this to be happy, and it's insured, don't you worry about that. I am just playing around with them for a little bit, I will put them back where they were, and don't you worry!
Thank guys, for all the great reviews and the support. I didn't know if anyone else would read this, I just kept on thinking that she would have to leave at the end of last Tuesday's episode. Thanks again, and keep on reading and reviewing.
It was ridiculous that she was here. The Cheshire cat was full of memories of her escape from marrying Max, and here she was, after she had done something that any other people would think was crazy. She stared at her 'one' in the face and walked away from marrying him.
Her whole body ached from missing him. It wasn't easy but she knew that if she stayed, she would end up being miserable and bitter. She couldn't sleep and she would think back to see if she could figure out exactly where she went wrong.
She knew she couldn't stay in that ostentatiously floral room for much longer, so she went out. Just like last time there was an eclectic group of people that she would normally mock. They were kind to her and suddenly; she didn't think that this place was so kitschy.
At night was the worst, she would close her eyes and she would think he was there and she would open her eyes and he was gone. But she had to learn how to deal.
Days went by slowly, but soon she helped out the owners at the Inn to occupy her mind. Rory had come and gone, trying to convince her to talk to Luke, but when she had told Rory the pain she felt being around him, Rory's tune was changed.
'Being around him is painful Rory, you got to understand that. Knowing that he doesn't quite feel the same way, and that one of these days he would realize that maybe he was wrong all those years. You always want something that you can't have, and now.. I think he see that.'
I had said to her and she had looked at me in the same way she used to when she found out that her father had forgotten to call her on her birthday, or when he didn't show up. It took me awhile to get used at how quiet being on your own really was.
I had somehow involved myself in serious relationships the minute Rory left my house and went to college. I didn't know if maybe I was incapable of being alone, but this was my time to explore that. So every time I yearned to call Luke, I thought of the pain he inflicted and suddenly, I knew I could do this.
Luke Danes had gotten over a lot of things, but nothing quite felt the same as when Lorelai handed him back the ring. He never thought that she would ever even think about it, but here he was, sitting in their empty house, with the ring and no Lorelai.
In fact he had no idea where she was, and no one was telling him anything. He didn't understand why she would do this. She was the one to propose, she was the one who made the idea ok, and she just took it away with no discussion. Shouldn't he even get the right to make that decision?
He knew that not telling her right away was a bad thing, but his life was on cue and then all of a sudden his life changes in this unalterable way, and how is he supposed to tell her that?
He should have probably told her right after he talked to Anna, but he was bombarded with memories of the past and to be suddenly assaulted with the past, present and future, made him do and say things he now regrets.
He still can't get over her face when she heard the words from April's mouth. 'He's my father.' It was like the light of her eyes and her whole self just immediately dimmed, and nothing he could say could change that.
After they had decided to postpone the wedding, he noticed that she was quieter, not quite the same zany person he loved. She would shy away from his touch and she would keep to herself. Even going to the lengths of staying with Rory in New Haven and Sookie's to avoid him, but at the time he didn't notice.
He was too caught up in his own mind and his own future responsibilities that he didn't notice that Lorelai was disappearing right in front of his eyes. He had stupidly thought she would understand, but who was he kidding, she didn't even know what was going through his mind.
Luke sighed and took another sip of his full glass of scotch. He hadn't really left the house since he got home from the diner that night and he planned on not leaving until she came back and demanded he leave, so he would sit here with Paul Anka, waiting for Lorelai to come home.