Disclaimer: I still do not own Azumanga Daioh or any of the intellectual property therein.
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"Aieeeeeeee!" Chiyo shrieked.
"Oh my heart! Oh my heart!" Osaka uttered as she clung to her.
"That was awesome, Yukari baby!" Tomo's eyes glazed over with excitement.
" I'll protect you Miss Sakaki!" Kaorin was perched on the tall girl's lap in the frontpassenger seat, as five occupants had crammed into the back seat.
"You elbowed me in the face, baka!" Kagura snarled at Tomo.
"You got in the way so you're the baka!" She retorted. Yomi slumped against the window, too nauseous toreact toher friends' inanity.
A few minutes later, the battered vehicle bumped against the wall of a parking garage. The rumble of the engine ceased, the airbags activated, and sighs emanated from most of the students except for Kaorin, who squealed as the airbag pressed her against Sakaki. After the people stumbled out of the car, Yukari commented, "Americans suck at driving!"
Chiyo gained enough composure to speak. "Miss Yukari? In America, people usually drive on the right side of the street."
"Left, right, middle… It's all good. By American standards, I'm a kickass driver!" Yukari shrugged and stretched out her arms. "We're in New York City! Smell that American air." The language teacher grinned.
"It smells like MacDo and farts", Osaka sniffed.
"My butt hurts!" Tomo whined.
Rubbing the red spot on her forehead, Kagura glared, "you didn't have to take this car!"
"Are you serious? The alternative is much worse."
A titanic SUV parked beside the dented automobile. Mr. Kimura stepped out and distributed everyone's luggage. He looked at the girls and said, "There iss plenty of room for you all to fit in here! There's even an X-box module.. Hello?" Kimura suddenly noticed that he was the only one in the garage. Undaunted, he threw on his backpack and headed to the hotel.
Inside the palatial lobby, Osaka and Chiyo shuffled through a crowd toward the registration desk. The girl's eyes swept over the environs with awe. "Hey, Chiyo?"
"Yes, Miss Osaka?"
"This place is called the Hilton, right?"
"That's correct."
"Does that mean there's a Cruise? Or a Pitt? Or an Eminem?"
"I don't think it works that way." The two girls approached the counter. A clerk looked down at them with a cordial smile. "Good evening, how may I help you?"
As the counter nearly obscured her, Chiyo stood on her toes. "We have a reservation." She replied.
"Under what name."
"Chiyo Mihama and Ayumu Kasuga."
The attendant searched through some computer records. "I can't find an Ayumu in here, but your room is ready, Miss Mihama."
A bellhop carried the pair's luggage to the designated room. Upon arrival he began to explain the accommodations in detail. After this expatiation, he stated, "Ladies, I carried your bags."
Osaka gave him a quizzical expression, and then smiled. "Good job!" She moved to pat him on the head, but Chiyo intervened, whispering in her ear. Osaka searched her pockets then gave the man a quarter. "There ya go!" The bellhop vanished, disconcerted.
In the next room, Kaorin looked at the monolithic mattress in the center of the room and addressed Sakaki in a wavering voice. "Miss Sakaki! They accidentally put us in a room with one bed. What do we do?" Her blushing cheeks illuminated an anxiety-laden smile.
"Well, I guess we could share…"
"Boom! I call the middle half!" Tomo raced in and bounced repeatedly on the bed until she lost her equilibrium and caromed off the window. Kaorin growled with an unchanracteristic ferocity as Tomo sat up, disoriented on the balcony.
"Sounds like Tomo destroyed another hotel room. Is ten minutes a record for her?" Yomi contemplated as she passed in the hall, munching some ice from a standard-issue container. She opened her room and found her roommate talking excitedly on the phone. "And I want two pizzas, an ice cream sundae, and a side of spare ribs! Hey, Yomi, you want anything" Kagura looked up at the girl who had just entered the room.
"What?"
"Never mind… that's all." Kagura hung up the phone. "What are you doing with the ice container?"
"Eating ice is a proven weight loss strategy." Yomi said with an air of indignation. She continued, "Who were you addressing?"
"That's room service."
"Service for a room?"
"If you want anything at any time, you order it and pa-kow!"
At that point, a server wheeled in a cart piled with shrimp and lobster. Kagura began rapaciously popping the crustaceans into her mouth.
Yomi suddenly glowered, "Well, isn't that convenient!"
"What's her problem?" Yukari Tanizaki hissed in the adjoining room. She pounded against the adjacent wall with her fist and shouted, "Keep it down you bonkuras! People are trying to sleep in this building!"
"Please excuse her. Irony eludes my colleague." Mr. Kimura apologized to the beleaguered attendant and gave him a twenty dollar bill. Content to allow Yukari to scream all night with such a gratuity, he left the two teachers alone. Yukari proceeded to scoot the beds against the opposite walls.
"I'm right here." Kimura said with furrowed eyebrows.
"I've got my eye on you, sleazebag! We might have to share a room tonight, but don't you get tempted by my pert breasts and supple waist."
"I dare not to dream about it," Kimura adjusted his glasses and sat on his bed, reading an annotated volume of the works of Basho. Yukari sat on the other bed, engrossed in a video game she purchased at an airport. Twenty minutes later, Kimura turned around in response to an importunate tugging at his right arm.
"Come on, Nyamo, let's get hammered!" Yukari was wearing a strapless, diaphanous garment.
"Miss Tanizaki, my name is…"
"Idiotic PE teachers aren't admitted to prestigious symposia like this one. So tonight you're Nyamo! Now, off to the karaoke bar!"
"Are you not the apotheosis of insanity? I must lecture tomorrow!" Kimura's jaw gaped wider than usual.
Yukari winked, "You know, on Friday nights, the waitresses are dressed like schoolgirls."
Kimura virtually teleported to the door with his hat and coat on. "Why did not you say so? Let's party!" The two headed to the bar.