The next day, Carth and Marisu went down to the Lower City cantina, where they ran into a blue-skinned Twi'lek girl with a big Wookiee by her side. "Hi!" she said chirpily. "I'm Mission Vao, and this is my friend Zaalbar. Say hello, Zaalbar!"

"Grrroowarrrrgh!" growled Zaalbar, and promptly vanished from the story, never to be mentioned again.

The others went off to see local swoop gang leader Gadon Thek, who listened carefully as they explained about Bitchila. "Oh dear," he said at last. "I'm sorry to say that your friend has been captured by Brejik, the leader of the Black Vulkars."

Everyone groaned. Trust Bitchila to get herself captured!

"Still," went on Gadon, "he's offering her up as a prize in the annual swoop-racing contest. If you could get back our new prototype engine which was stolen by the Vulkars, maybe one of you could enter the race."

Carth looked worried. "But none of us know how to race swoop bikes!"

"Well..." Marisu blushed daintily. "Now that you mention it, I did do a bit of swoop racing when I was younger."

"A bit?"

"Well, I did win the Pan-Galactic All-Star Junior Swoop Racing Championship a few times. Five, in fact. When I was three. But I wasn't that good," she added hastily, in case anyone thought she was boasting.

Carth shook his head in amazement. "Is there anything you can't do, Marisu?"

"Er..."

While Marisu was vainly attempting to think of something she couldn't do, the party went off to the Undercity to look for the secret entrance to the Vulkar base. Over the next few hours, they battled the rakghouls and got the serum for Zelka and saved the Outcasts and found the Promised Land journals and fought through the sewers and rescued that Wookiee whose name I've forgotten already and killed every Vulkar in the base and liberated the swoop engine (pants heavily), not to mention a whole lot of other boring stuff which I'm sure none of you want to hear about. After all that, Carth and Marisu rushed back to the apartment, where they jumped straight into bed and made sweet, sweet love for six hours straight.

"Oh, Carth," murmured Marisu as she lay with her satin-smooth body pressed against his magnificent six-pack, nibbling delicately at his ear. "I wish we could do this all day."

"So do I," he said regretfully. "But we still have to go and rescue Bitchila." (A/N: That bitch!)

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Down at the swoop racing track, Marisu took a look around. Bitchila was mooching around in a cage, dressed in a slutty cantina-dancer outfit which was totally unflattering, whilst a load of boring aliens milled about the place. Marisu smirked as she glanced down at her own specially-chosen 'Saving the Galaxy from Eeeevil' outfit – an electric-pink tank top and three-quarter-length faded denim jeans, complemented by her diamond navel stud, mithril charm bracelet, and silver high-heeled thongs – secure in the knowledge that she was by far the best-looking person in the Lower City (and probably the entire galactic sector). As if to prove it, all the Boring Aliens turned their heads to goggle at her as she strutted past.

As the announcer began to call out the racers' names to summon them to the track, she opened her purse to look at a picture of her dear, departed goldfish (who had drunk herself to death not long after the Sith attack). "I'm going to win this for you, Goldie," she whispered, and kissed the photo for luck before slipping it back into her purse. "That'll show those Sith!"

Marisu's name was called at last, and she felt a surge of energy and confidence as she ran over to her swoop. Of course she was going to win! After all, she had her lucky charm bracelet and her lucky goldfish picture (not that she really needed them, as she always won any competition she took part in, but it was nice to know they were there).

The minute the race started, Marisu knew she was going to win (as if there had ever been any doubt!) Her swoop swooped across the swoop track like a beautiful Raven swooping down from the sky (A/N: Hehe. 'Raven', geddit?), tearing around the course faster than anyone had ever seen before. The astonished onlookers heard a resounding boom as she broke the sound barrier, and another one as she broke the light barrier. There was a chorus of gasps as she smashed through a piece of debris and shot across the finish line, arriving back at the start very slightly earlier than she had set off.

The sound of cheering was deafening as Marisu climbed out of the swoop. The Vulkars had completely forgotten their own champion in the excitement of watching her race, and whooped with delight as she ran down the street towards them. "MA-RI-SU! MA-RI-SU!" they shrieked, rushing up and crowding around her in hopes of getting her autograph.

"We have a winner!" announced the announcer. "Marisu Arianna Raven Skywalker! With a time of 4.1 seconds." Another gang member whispered something to him, and he checked his scoresheet. "Sorry... make that 0.41 seconds."

But Brejik, the evil leader of the Vulkars, was scowling angrily. "She cheated!" he yelled. "I'm withdrawing our share of the victory prize!"

Everyone stared at him in shock. "You can't do that, Brejik!" shouted one of the Beks. "It goes against all our most sacred traditions!"

Brejik laughed scornfully. "You old fool! Your traditions are nothing to me. If I want to sell this woman on the slave market myself, no one can stop me!"

"I think I might have something to say about that, Brejik," said an arrogant English voice. It was Bitchila! With a wave of her hand she sent the guards flying backwards and stepped out of the cage, an arrogant expression on her face.

Brejik looked horrified. "What?" he gasped. "Impossible! You were restrained by a neural disruptor collar!"

"You underestimate the strength of a Jedi's mind, Brejik," said Bitchila arrogantly. "A mistake you won't live to regret!"

"Vulkars, to me!" screeched Brejik. "Kill this woman! Kill the swoop racer! Kill them all!"

A tremendous fight broke out. Marisu threw herself into the fray, slaughtering Vulkars by the dozen, while Bitchila just stood to one side and occasionally poked at people with her lightsaber. When Marisu had finally killed everyone, thus wiping out pretty much the entire Vulkar population of Taris in one fell swoop, she noticed the Jedi hiding in a corner.

"Well?" she asked. "Aren't you going to thank me for rescuing you?"

Bitchila threw back her head and laughed. "Rescuing me?" she said scornfully. "You did nothing of the sort! I rescued you, so there!"

"What?" Marisu was incensed. "Now just you listen here, Missy: I'm getting a bit tired of your attitude! If you don't start showing me some respect, I might just leave you here for the Sith to find!"

Bitchila immediately quietened down and nodded meekly, terrified at the thought of being left by herself in the Undercity. She remained that way for the entire journey back; unfortunately, the minute they walked through the door of the apartment, she was her usual bitchy self again. "Haven't you thought of a plan to get off the planet yet?" she demanded. "You idiots! What have you been doing all this time?"

"We were searching for you, remember, Bitchila?" said Carth angrily.

"That's 'Commander Shan' to you, Onasi!" snapped Bitchila, flinging a hand out imperiously (and knocking over a small table in the process). "I'm the one in charge of this mission, so you all have to do exactly what I say! Now kneel down before me and kiss my foot, flunkies!"

Carth was too outraged to reply, but Marisu did it for him. "We most certainly will not!" she said furiously. "And who said you were in charge anyway? I'm Marisu Arianna Raven Skywalker, and I take orders from one person only: me!"

Bitchila's face turned bright red, and she stamped her foot angrily. "Waaaaaaaah! she howled. "I wanted to be the leader! You're all ruining my mission, and it's not faaaaair! Daddy, I want a golden goose!"

Marisu couldn't take any more of this. "How dare you talk to us like that, you ungrateful bitch!" she yelled, and slapped Bitchila hard across the face. (This was quite a challenge, given that she barely came up to the other woman's chest, but she managed it.) Bitchila went flying across the room, and landed on the floor in a tearful, cowering heap.

"Oooooowww!" she wailed, sniffling piteously (and naturally making no attempt to fight back in any way). "You hit me!"

"Serves you right," smirked Carth, and everyone had a good laugh at Bitchila's expense.

"Well done, Marisu," said Carth at last, wiping his eyes. "Anyway, how do you suggest that we get off the planet?"

Marisu smiled a mysterious smile. "Well," she said conspiratorially, "I hear that Davik Kang, the head of the Exchange, has a ship fast enough to break the Sith blockade."

Carth stared at her in astonishment. "How do you know that?

"Oh, I have my contacts," she said airily. "Such as Davik's right-hand man, Canderous Ordo."

Mission gasped. "Canderous Ordo, the famous Mandalorian warrior?"

"Yup." Marisu smiled loftily. "We've been pals for years, regardless of the fact that this creates an enormous plot-hole which the author will never bother to explain." (A/N: It's AU, all right? AU!)

"Well, I think it's too dangerous," said Bitchila, folding her arms and pouting. But no one cared what Bitchila thought, so they all left to find Canderous in the Lower City Cantina.

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As they walked through the Lower City, the author suddenly remembered that Mission existed. "So, Bitchila," said the young girl chirpily, her eyes wide with innocuous innocence. "How about that Force, huh? Do you ever use it for fun?"

Bitchila's face went beetroot-red. "FUN?" she roared. "HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT QUESTION! BITCHILA SMAAAAASH!" And with that, she Force-smashed Mission straight into the nearest wall.

Everyone else was horrified. "Bitchila!" shouted Marisu. "How can you do that to poor little Mission? Pick on someone your own size, you big bully!" She ran over to comfort the sobbing Mission, shooting a furious glance at Bitchila, who merely tossed her head and stuck her nose in the air.

They set off again at last, Mission hiding behind Marisu whenever Bitchila came near her. Everyone was in a bad mood by the time they reached the cantina, but Marisu forgot to be annoyed when she saw a tall, hunky Mandalorian standing in a corner. "Yo, Canderous!" she yelled, shoving her way through the crowd. "Remember me, you old war criminal, you?"

Canderous spun round, and then his face lit up. "Well, if it ain't Marisu Arianna Raven Skywalker!" Much to Carth's annoyance, he lifted the tiny woman clean off the floor and swung her round so that her long raven-black hair streamed around her face. "How could I forget the woman who saved my life sp many times! So what are you doing here on Taris?"

"We were caught by the Sith blockade," said Marisu, switching effortlessly from Basic to utterly flawless Mandalorian. "Any chance you could get us off the planet, Candy?"

"Hmm." Canderous thought for a minute. "Well, if you could break into the Sith base and get us their launch codes, I might be able to find you a ship..."

"Sounds good to me," said Marisu. "What do you guys think?"

"Fine by me," said Carth with a shrug. Mission nodded eagerly, but Bitchila was determined to be contrary as usual. "It's a terrible plan," she said snottily, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "I think we should – "

But no one else was interested in her opinion. "So that's settled then," said Marisu gaily, ignoring Bitchila's indignant squeaks. "Canderous, you're on! We'll be back with those codes in a few hours."

"See ya," said Canderous, with a grin and a wink at the scowling Bitchila. And so the party left to find the Sith codes which could be their ticket out of Taris.