Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
A/N: To prevent you from being confused, allow me a second to explain what's going on in this chapter: These are Rei's thoughts while in her coma. Ok, read on.
Chapter 9: Corinthians II
Am I dead?...
Rei couldn't tell--not from wherever she was right now. The last thing she remembered was Shinji's face, then pulling the self-destruct lever--after that, she had awoken in this strange place.
It reminded her vaguely of photos she had once seen of Gothic cathedrals, the kind with the tall towers and sharp curves that had been destroyed in many countries by the effects of Second Impact. She could somewhat identify the blurry shapes of the 'building's' construction, but it shifted constantly, as did her state of being: she'd fade into this state of consciousness and feel like she was drifting aimlessly, then fade out for a period, then gradually drift in again, but have her feet planted firmly on the 'ground.'
She was in one such state when she came across a figure about her height and age. Rei walked up to the person, who didn't turn around despite the echoing of her own footsteps.
"Excuse me."
The figure slowly turned its head...and Rei found herself looking at what had to be a mirror image. It looked exactly like her.
"...Who are you?"
The mirror image smiled coldly at Rei, who suddenly recalled what she had seen while the 11th Angel had invaded her.
"Are you..."
...The Angel? The mirror-Rei finally spoke, its voice and tone mimicking the real Ayanami with precision.
...No. I am not something as strong as that.
"What are you doing here?..." the crimson-eyed girl asked her twin curiously.
The mirror-Rei suddenly pouted, as though greatly offended by something she had been asked.
Rei, dear...don't you recognize me?
Her words were met with a confused silence.
...After being together for fourteen years, you insist on feigning ignorance. The doppelganger sighed exasperatedly, then the grin returned.
I am the darkness that has resided within the pit of your soul for your entire life. And...
...I am the reason that you are not dead.
"...Within my soul?"
Yes. You are aware, of course that your...conception...was not the result of 'natural human reproduction,' correct?
Rei nodded. She remembered every single day she had spent in the space deep below NERV that could only generously be called 'livable,' how the Commander had never let her forget for a second that she was not human, and barely deserved to be treated as such...
Oh, I'm sorry... have I reminded you of something painful? A memory of the past, perhaps?...
Rei looked up at her twin in surprise. How could this thing have...
...known what you were thinking?
The doppelganger allowed itself a contented grin as it stared coldly at the confused Rei.
We are in your consciousness now, Rei. It may be your mind, but not a one of your thoughts is able to escape my scrutiny. We are bound together-- a symbiotic relationship, as it were.
Rei's eyes narrowed. If this was a mutually beneficial connection, she had yet to see the benefits.
...In any case... the doppelganger continued, ignoring it's host's current train of thought,
There were two sets of very different genetic data employed in your birth. I am the subconscious amalgamation of the stronger, more numerous threads employed.
Rei took a moment to absorb what she had been told.
"...So you are an Angel, then."
...Not quite. Until the previous made contact with you, I was unable to attain sentience. Thanks to that though, I became strong enough to become self-aware...and as a sign of my gratitude, I allowed you to live. Did you truly think that all the times your life was in danger before, that you survived on your own?
"...How can that be, though?" Rei asked her twin accusingly. "You yourself asserted that you only became self-aware as a result of the 11th Angel's attack."
Dire circumstances breed necessity, Rei. I was not able to establish an AT Field, as I had recently, but you must be aware that Angels are naturally far stronger than humans. Over time, my ability to heal rapidly, so as to prevent death, became more pronounced as you continued to place yourself in danger.
Rei didn't want to believe it, but upon serious consideration, she had no choice but to admit the being was correct.
She remembered the first Unit-00 activation. Not only had she been hurt when the Eva broke free of its moorings, but the Entry Plug had ejected in that small room, her body being tossed around as the Plug collided with the walls and ceiling. Not to mention the long fall to the ground when the emergency jets ran out of fuel. She should have been dead, or close to it at least.
Yet she managed to walk away from the accident alive, her only visible injuries being a broken arm and a damaged eye, and even that had healed. Most of the doctors had said that it was a 'miracle.'
As though God would protect one as replaceable as me, she remembered thinking.
The fight with the 8th Angel also faded into view. Her Eva's arm had been remotely cut by the Commander to prevent infection from the possessed Unit-03. Though there was no physical damage, the nerve feedback was at full capacity, meaning she should have spent a few days in the hospital recovering from shock. Yet upon recovery, she was found to be completely undisturbed mentally.
The 9th Angel had split her Eva's head in twoand severed the arm that was still intact-- the only sign she had even been in battle was a bandage over the eye she had injured before, and within days she had perfect eyesight again.
Yes, Rei. I've been watching over you all this time, making sure you didn't die. Your 'father' wouldn't have allowed it.
"...The Commander?..."
Don't get the wrong idea. I had my own survival to consider. He isn't even aware of my presence.
Rei stared angrily at her twin for a moment. Then she turned on her heel and prepared to walk away.
...Where are you going?
"I have stayed here long enough. It is time for me to return."
Return to where? You don't know how to get back to the waking world from here, Rei.
"Perhaps. But I must find it. There is still much I am required for."
The doppelganger uttered a laugh, one that lacked mirth and reeked of twisted satisfaction.
You continue, even now, to assume that your 'purpose' is the reason you desire to return? You yourself said that you could be replaced if you died.
"But I am not dead. At least not yet."
...Or do you wish to see him again?
Rei stopped in her tracks. It was the truth and she knew it. But... at the same time... she didn't want to face Shinji again. She'd been so certain that she would die...
Suddenly Rei felt the embrace of frigid, slender arms around her body, the proximity making her aware of her own coldness.
It's all right, Rei... You don't have to face the possibility of pain...of having emotions...that's what scares you... isn't it?
Rei didn't answer. The doppelganger knew that it had hit the proper mark as its host slowly dropped to her knees, uncertainty clutching at her so swiftly she could barely react. She felt numb-- as numb and dead as she had felt for her whole life, until...
Don't think about him. It'll only bring you pain. But if you go down that path-- Rei's twin pointed to an even darker hallway that had materialized out of nowhere-- You'll never have to feel anything again. That's what you want... correct?
Rei's only response was to stand up. The light that had been there moments earlier had faded, giving her a distinct resemblance to a prisoner on death row.
Just as she had felt before.
It seemed fitting as she slowly let her feet move toward the indicated hallway, into the heart of darkness.
A/N: Don't worry-- Rei's coming back next chapter! How, I'm not going to say... Well, that's my longest chapter yet-- I was planning to make this and the next chapter a single one, but I needed some time to collect myself, plus this one was getting too damn long : ) Please look forward to it!