A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you guys! I'm updating because the school's musical is coming up, and I'm in it so therefor I shall have no time in the next 5/6 days to update. So I'm going to update now, while I'm at school, during free time, while I'm still able. Hope you guys like it!

Chapter 5

It wasn't desperate, but I guess you could say it was... I don't know. Meaningful, passionate... The thing that struck me odd was that when she was kissing me, it felt as if she was telling me I could do anything I wanted. I could fight Krad, I could restrain him, I could keep her safe even she was with me. As stupid as it sounds, it was... reassuring. Very, very, very reassuring.

As her lips pressed againt mine, I closed my eyes, overcoming the shock that was electricuting my body. Unconciously, I wrapped my arms around her torso, wanting to be closer to her. If that was even possible by then. My hand slowly moved up to cup her cheek, and I fidled with her hair a bit.

Just as I thought my heart would jump out of my throat, she softened and pulled back. My pulse had gone up considerably, but I was unaware of the water that had conjugated in her eyes. That is, until they fell down her cheeks.

"You shouldn't have done that," I said, my voice a whisper. My lips were begining to tingle.

"I don't care," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't care if Krad comes out, I don't care if I get molested or hit by him. The only way you, Satoshi, could ever hurt me is by running away again." Some of her tears hit my hand, and I brushed them away with my thumb. "And I know it sounds stupid, and I know I sound weak or like some really cheesy girl in a romance movie, but it's true!"

Honestly, I had no idea what to do. I had never seen Risa, nor any other girl, cry right in front of me. I had also never experienced a confession of deep feelings, so I was a bit lost there as well. All I could do was pullher in and let her cry into my chest. I shushed her softly, rocking back and forth. We stayed like that for a long time until her sobs began to subside. She choked and took deep breaths.

"You don't think I sound cheesy, do you?" she asked, her voice muffled.

I was tempted to throw back my head and laugh. Can you imagine that? Me, actually laugh. But, I merely smiled and buried my face in her hair.

"No... I don't," I said, a tear sliding down my own cheek.

"Really?" her voice squeaked.

For a moment, a familiar feeling churned my stomach. There was a flash of pain in my head, and the vague sensation of being dragged into a dark, moldy chamber. I heard laughter from afar, and I shivered. As if everything were in slow motion, I saw bars in front of me, and was horrified when I saw his body taking a step toward Risa. The sun, however, was shining, and I realized that Krad was showing me what had happened the day I had transformed. It seemed as if every limb in my body was shaking, and I gulped.

But, despite all of that, I was ok. I could hear Krad threatening me, but it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. It was as if, for the first time, I was the one in charge. I almost laughed as Krad hissed at me, but instead just rolled my eyes and pushed him to the back of my mind.

I mean, I know it sounds anticlimaxic, but it's true. There was a small part of me that wanted Krad to come out so we could fight to the death in a raging battle of brain and will power, just so I would emerge victorious in a heap of sweat, tears, and ragged breathing, and the fair maiden we were fighting for would rush to my side and tell me how brave I was. But... the more I think of it, the more I think I'm not that person. I'm not like those traumatized, used-to-be-strong-until-this-happened guys that needs to redeem his strength in order to prove himself worthy (to both his demon half, and to himself). And I'm not like those revengeful guys that fight just to see the blood of the one who made their life a living hell spill. I'm just Satoshi Hiwatari. Sure, there's a lot of stuff to my past that I am still angry about, and yes, there are things in the present time that still upset me... but other than that, there's not much. I'm simply quiet, studious, remote Satoshi Hiwatari.

My father used to tell me, "Satoshi, you must succeed in everything you do. Everything in life is only for now, so you'd better make the best damn impression on these people you've ever made in your life." This he would tell me everytime before I was to meet his co-workers. I never really thought about anything but obeying him. Yet, ever since I began living alone, I've discovered part of that 'speech' that is much more important than anything my father has ever taught me.

"I love you," I told Risa softly. I felt her shiver under my embrace, but her arms found their way around my body.

A few long minutes went by. We didn't bother to speak, we just breathed. As memories came floating back with the smell of her hair, I heard Krad mumble a few things. I waved him away, much to his appaled reaction. My lips gave way to a small smile when Krad's voice turned into a memory of science class. Risa and I were in the same class, weren't we? And she would always pass me notes in the middle of Sensei's boring lessons.

"I just have one last question," Risa said, her voice a bit scratchy after not talking for a long time. She cleared her throat, and I waited. "... Did you really ever think that you were better off by yourself?"

I took a long, painful pause. In my mind, I appologized for anything and anyone I had hurt, and I appologized for ever saying anything like that. At last, I took a deep breath and said, "... No."

You'd think that something romantic or expected would happen after that, right? Well, as I have said before, Risa never failed to amaze me.

"Damnit!" I was thrown back, and I almost ran into the wall. I stared after Risa as she dashed down the hall and back into the kitchen. Then I could smell the steam in the air.

"I think I may have burned your counter top, Satoshi-kun..." came her feeble, embarassed voice.

This time, I really did laugh. I walked into the kitchen to see her cleaning up the area around the coffee pot with a sponge. Hiding my smile, I walked over, and took the sponge from her hands. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. She was confused.

"Uhh... what about your counter?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh."

She paused. "I don't understand you, Satoshi." There was a small vibrating feeling in my stomach when she said my name.

I nodded against her. "I don't understand you either."

"So we're even," she pointed out. I shrugged again as a response. She giggled, causing her shoulders to jump up and down. It was a little painful, so I lifted my head and set it upon hers.

I didn't have to fight Krad. Nor did I have to sacrifice everything to make sure he didn't kill anyone. All I had to do was live. As Father had said: "Everything in life is only for now." Right there, right at that moment in time, I really didn't give a damn about Krad. I had more important things to worry about.

A/N: What did you guys think of this chapter? The Epilogue should follow this soon enough (AKA: in a few days. hopefully), but still. I'd like to know what y'all think of my philosiphy :)