Ok...in all truth I'm writing these just because anyway, but now I'm really starting to get curious...I haven't gotten any feedback, positive or negative, on this story since chapter 2...is anyone actually reading this? I'll keep writing just because this one gets me to reflect on the character relationships a lot...I just want to know if I have an audience.
Sasuke: Unrequited
At first, it was the idea I was in love with. Admittingly, I met him and liked him before anything else became a factor, but crushing on Sasuke wasn't just about him. I had been friends with Ino for a while, and I was just starting to get comfortable with the other girls around me. Everyone else told of their crushes; I'd look even weirder if I didn't feel the same way. Peer pressure has away of making us do things we normally wouldn't.
And of course, there was the motivation of what success would mean. Everyone knows that being the one and only of the most popular guy in the academy would mean a lot…it might even mean becoming the most popular girl! And considering that was a big thing to us, it made Sasuke all the more desirable.
But somewhere along the way, those things got lost in the past. Two separate things continued to motivate me to want him.
The first was my past with Ino. For as long as I'd known the blond-haired, smiling, flower-lover, I felt like I'd lived in her shadow. I was just "that other girl with Ino"—if even that. No one recognized me for who I was at all, and I was too shy to do anything about it. So in most things, I adopted her opinion, and her life.
Even with Sasuke. Once she told me about him for the first time, I was convinced that I liked him too. Admittingly, I'd never met him, but if he was the way Ino described him…unfortunately that created a rivalry between me and Ino that continues to this day.
A part of me is glad, because that finally pulled me out of her shadow…another part of me is hurt because it pulled me away from my best friend completely. Especially after I got on Sasuke's team.
Once that happened, the other part of me took control…my motivation wasn't about just beating Ino anymore. Once I met him face-to-face, and talked with him a bit, I knew. There's a part of me that really thinks he's awesome. He's the most talented boy I've ever met…able to face off with Kakashi-sensei one-on-one. He learns things so quickly, and his potential as a ninja is limitless.
Yet at the same time he's also the coldest boy I've ever met. Every step of the way, he's always been willing to leave us behind if he needed to in order to get ahead…and he calls himself an Avenger. It's almost as if he doesn't care about other people at all…like he's relied on his own strength for everything.
I wish I could do that…my strength just isn't strong though. I'm the smartest of our entire class, but my body doesn't match my brain…when I watch him or Naruto fight I wish it could be me doing so well. But instead, I'm barely able to hold a candle to either of them. It's so depressing…even Ino has her own special attack to use…I'm just your average shinobi wannabe…
Whenever I see him in danger I feel the strength within me rise…I won't let anyone hurt him while I'm around. And yet, at the same time, when I see him at his best, it just reminds me of how worthless I am.
Something within me yearns to know him better…but another part yells that it's hopeless. That he doesn't want to know me…I'm not his type…and no matter what I do I'll never be his type. I try to be nice, yet his coldness brushes me away time and time again. Sasuke…why do you try so hard to push me away? Can't you see what you put me through?
God…my heart beats faster whenever I look at him…I admire everything about him…I feel empty when he's not around…that's why I'm not willing to give up on him. Because if I did, it would be like letting go of a part of myself. Is this love?
One part of me is convinced it is…another part isn't sure what to think…why is it that my mind always seems to be divided in parts? Either way, I just hope that Sasuke can accept what I have to give...love or otherwise, I hope it's not always unrequited.
-------------------------------------------------Such an interesting couple…
A boy whose heart is set on bringing death
And the girl that wishes to share his life
A boy whose eyes reflect the hate for everything—
His somewhat-peaceful life, his brother, his weakness…
And the girl whose life is a reflection of her love for him…
She is the image of everything
He wants and cannot have…
Family…peace…love…
Yet he must ignore her…
Ignore his other desires…
Until the goal is complete.
A giver of death can't cling
To the rest of his life.
Even if he does care… She can never know…
That would only make her cling more.
And what good is a grim reaper
Who lives in a field of cherry blossoms?