Chapter 11

"Well, that's strange."

Lois relaxed against the chair she had been sitting in after spending hours upon hours in front of the computer screen. She'd been researching any kind of weather-related phenomena all night.

"What is?"

Clark stepped into his room dressed in sweat pants and a white crew-neck t-shirt with a towel draped around his neck. He slid it off and placed the towel atop his bed. Lois turned to give him a pointed look.

"Don't put it there."

"Sorry," he replied sheepishly.

Isn't this his bed?

Clark spent the last couple of days with Lois researching the strange events that led him and Kent to travel between dimensions. He made a conscious effort to avoid, or at least, spend as little time with his parents as much as possible because he knew that it'll be harder for him to leave if he allowed himself to get too close.

He also noticed how very comfortable Lois is around the house, not that it was that big of a surprise, but since she and Kent were involved, he noticed other things.

Like his drawers for example.

Two of them were filled with her clothing. Even his closet was filled with her clothes and he wondered just how far their relationship has gone in this world.

Clark sat at the edge of the bed as he watched Lois hard at work.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm…" she responded.

"I said, can I ask you a question?"

Lois stopped and turned to him.

"What is it?"

"It's kind of personal."

Lois grinned. "I didn't expect it not to be."

Clark sighed, growing more uncomfortable by the minute. The question has plagued his mind longer than he wanted it too. Even before this whole alternate dimension dilemma happened.

Finding the courage to ask it, he opened his mouth to say it.

"It's – it's about you and Kent."

Lois blinked a couple of times. Getting used to the name change, but in order to keep them apart, she had to go along with it.

"What about me and Kent?"

"I noticed that – " his voice trailed to complete silence.

Lois raised her eyebrows. Amused. She got an idea of what it was he wanted to ask and she was having a hell of a time letting him drown in his thoughts and nervousness because of it.

"I don't – I don't really know how to say it," he added apprehensively.

Lois smiled, holding in her laughter as she did so.

"Just say it."

"You and Kent – "

"Uh huh," she waited.

"You know what. Nevermind," he said backing out.

Clark stood up and moved to stand by her side, looking at the screen and checking out what she found. Lois turned her attention to the screen as well, hiding the smirk in her face.

After a moment…

"Yes."

Clark turned to her, startled.

"What?"

"The question you wanted to ask. The answer is yes."

Clark didn't know what else to say. A part of him is relieved that he was capable of going there but then another part of him ached at the possibility that he won't be able to find the kind of 'love' that Kent obviously found with her.

"And my parents are okay with that?" he asked a little too boldly.

Clark should've kept his mouth shut.

Lois chuckled and then stopped, looking guilty.

"They don't really know."

Clark's eyes widened.

Lois rolled her eyes. "We spend a lot of time together. And while I'm all for good Midwestern values, there are just some things that can't be waited on."

She laughed as Clark's mouth literally dropped and his eyes glancing to the left and back very quickly.

"Relax, Clark," she added with a pat to his back. "Nothing other than sleeping happens in this room. Your parents have an uncanny ability to appear when we least expect them to."

Clark remained speechless and Lois took pity on him.

"All right. My turn. I've been meaning to ask you, what am I like in your world?"

He's caught off guard by the question.

"My world?"

"Yeah," she nodded. Anxious to know what he thought of her alternate self. She was curious to know what differences and similarities they had.

Clark shrugged. "She's kind of hard to describe," he reveals disappointedly.

She nodded, but she was still very curious.

"I don't care. Just say what you think," she insisted.

"We're friends, but, I don't know. She doesn't really talk about herself. There's her dad and sister. Her mom died when she was six."

Lois looked at him sadly. "I was hoping that was one similarity we didn't share."

Clark winced. Feeling guilty although he was unsure as to why. And then he realized what it was. While he felt jealousy for all the things that Kent had, Lois selflessly hoped that her other self was just as happy, if not more, than she was. It was at that moment that Clark felt like a complete and total jerk.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"I know, it's just – " he sighed. "I can't help it," he said, continuously amazed at how understanding she is.

Lois smiled to relieve the awkward tension. "What about school?"

"She dropped out."

Lois laughed.

"That's not funny. She's waiting tables and serving coffee," he explained in simple detail.

Lois ignored him and continued to smile. "Believe me, if we're anything alike, she'll grow out of that."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked, astounded. "You don't even really know her."

"I'm just saying."

A long silence followed, and there has been something that he has wanted to tell her for days now.

"I never apologized to you."

Lois looked at him with confusion.

"Apologize for what?"

"When I first arrived – for however brief it was – I let myself go with you and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have misled you in believing I was him."

Clark looked away, unable to look her in the eye. Being in this world had forced him to look at his life in a way he has never had to before. For almost two weeks he had done nothing but compare his life to Kent's, and what he saw disappointed him.

Above all that has happened in his life, the only thing that kept him from moving forward was fear.

Fear that he'll be alone.

Fear of loss.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the father that gave him life.

Fear.

One word that held so much meaning for him. It shaped every choice he's made since discovering that he wasn't human. And now, he was ashamed to admit…

He was wrong.

With his eyes still away from hers, he says, "I have to get back. I shouldn't even be here in the first place."

Lois's expression softened as she watched his demeanor change. At first, she saw a scared boy afraid to see past the possibilities, apologizing for a need he's craved for his whole life.

And now… she saw the boy desperate to be the man he knows in his heart he can be.

Lois smiled, having been through this before with her boyfriend. She took his hand with hers and held it assuringly.

"Just remember – that whatever happens – you're not alone."

Clark inhaled deeply. "You know. I'm starting to really believe that."

Martha suddenly pokes her head inside Clark's room.

"Hey you two. Dinner's ready."

Lois and Clark exchanged smiles.

"We'll be right there," he replied first.

With his hands stuffed in his pocket, Clark shyly walked out of the house and into the barn where he found his fa – Jonathan – working on a piece of heavy equipment. He cleared his throat nervously to get his attention.

Jonathan looks up.

"Son. Is everything okay?"

"Yes." Then a beat. "No," he said, voice hoarse and barely audible. "There's something I need to tell you."

45 minutes later…

He looked down and stared into the cup, at the fragment of reflected light on the surface of the hot chocolate, and felt his hands start to shake. He wished now that his mother hadn't brought it.

Jonathan remained silent before him as soon as Clark finished his story.

About everything.

Who he is.

Where he came from.

From the second meteor shower that hit Smallville to his own father's death.

Everything.

A quickening sound filled his ears from within his own body and he set the cup on the floor, hands shaking even worse now. He couldn't look at Jonathan. Not without being reminded. He couldn't look at anything. Clark bent his head, pressed his palms against his eyes, and finally wept.

"Son," Jonathan whispered, tears brimming in his eyes.

Clark felt his hand on his shoulder but he refused to look at him.

"I'm not your son."

"Whether in this world or the next, you'll always be my son," he said soothingly, hoping to quell his own burgeoning desire to weep as openly as his son is doing right now.

"You're gone because of me," he cried.

"No." Jonathan shook his head and willed his son's face up with his hands. "No!" he said strongly. "It's not your fault."

Clark's tears were falling freely from his eyes now.

"I should've listened. But I kept running away. I kept making bad choices."

Jonathan pulled him in and held him tight. "I love you, son!" he said in a whisper. "I'll never leave you. Dead or alive. I'll never leave you."

"I'm… I'm… sor… sorry!"

"Shhh…" he rocked them both back and forth. "It's not your fault," he repeated. "Now say it with me, son."

Clark cried harder in his embrace.

"I'd die for you, Clark. There's no doubt in my mind. Now say it."

"It's… not… my… fa… fault…"

Jonathan nodded. "It's not your fault."

It's not his fault.

To be Continued…