So, I was looking up stuff to do in Las Vegas when you're under 21 (or when you're a 27-year-old who couldn't care less about drinking or gambling), and it turns out that Vegas is way more fun looking than I gave it credit for, and now I really want to go there some day. Oh, also you'll be seeing some of that stuff happen when we get there. It's gonna be a fun time. And things are gonna get awkward and stuff! Fun!
"And there's just one thing that you see…"
Chapter Six – They Split the Group Because the Dads want to do Boring Dad Things
After a few minutes of walking through cramped, narrow tunnels, Cartman was kind of wishing that they hadn't brought Tweek or Butters along. Butters had decided to switch his death grip over to Cartman, and he was having a hard time getting the blood to flow back to his arm. Tweek wasn't much better, questioning everything about the dam, thoroughly convinced that it was going to crumble and they were all going to die.
"What if the water becomes too much and the dam bursts while we're inside?" Tweek fretted. "What if someone sabotages it or blows it up? We're going to die in here!"
"Calm down, Tweek," Craig said gently, taking his hand. "Nothing bad is going to happen to us. They've put plenty of measures to make sure that the dam never bursts." He cringed slightly as Tweek squeezed his hand so tightly that he could no longer feel it in his raging paranoia.
"Will you let go already, Butters?" Cartman snapped at him. "I can't feel my arm!" Butters shook his head stubbornly, pressing himself closer to his larger friend.
"Not until we're finally out of these death tunnels!" he sputtered, looking around with wide, fearful eyes. Tweek's eyes also widened at the words "death tunnels" and his grip on Craig's hand tightened and Craig was slowly crumbling to the ground in pain.
"I hope this tour doesn't last too much longer," Stan muttered to Wendy. "This is all super boring." Wendy blinked at him.
"Well, some of this stuff is kind of interesting," she replied. "I certainly didn't know that the Hoover Dam had a huge controversy over what its name was going to be. And I never knew that it was so big!"
Stan smiled at her, appreciating her efforts to try and make the tour slightly less boring. It wasn't exactly working, but still, it was a nice thought. The tour continued with the guide continuing to talk about boring stuff. They eventually got to a much larger room, and Butters and Tweek relaxed enough to release Craig and Cartman. Cartman let out a sigh of relief and started rubbing his sore arm.
"I hope there's no more tunnels like that," he growled to Kenny, who simply nodded.
"I hope there's like somewhere to get postcards," the blond stated after a moment. "I forgot to ask if there were postcards at the Grand Canyon, but I need to get one from here." Cartman gave him a confused glance.
"What are you going to use a postcard for?" he wondered.
"Well, honestly, I was just going to press it to my face and rub it all over my body," Kenny said sarcastically. "What do you think I'm going to use it for?"
"There's no need for the sarcasm, you know," Cartman replied, looking slightly hurt before quickening his step to walk next to Kyle.
Stan also thought of walking faster as well so he could join his friends' conversation, but it was at that moment that Craig had decided that he was tired of walking. Without any warning what so ever, Craig silently and randomly climbed onto Stan's back, wrapping his arms around his neck as Stan, taken completely off guard, crumbled to the ground instantly. Tweek and Wendy stopped to turn and look at them with wide eyes as Stan struggled to shove Craig off of him.
"Craig, what are you doing?" Stan growled. "Get off of me!"
"I'm tired of walking," Craig replied in a monotone voice. "Carry me."
"Make Tweek carry you if you're so lazy, then!" Stan snapped. Craig looked down at him with the biggest look of indifference.
"Stop being a wimp," he replied simply. Stan growled at him and struggled to his feet with Craig still clinging to his back. Wendy smiled sweetly at them.
"I ship it," she muttered to Tweek.
"Seriously, Wendy?" Stan snapped, shoving past them before Tweek could respond. She continued to smile sweetly at her boyfriend, but didn't say anything more as they hurried to catch up with the others. Stan pointedly refused to look at any of his friends, who were snickering at him, and instead kept his eyes in front of him, growling under his breath.
Eventually, they emerged out of the tunnels and they found themselves standing at the bottom of the Hoover Dam. Everyone's breaths caught in their throats as they looked up at the gargantuan wall they had just come out of.
"The Hoover Dam looks way more impressive from down here," Kenny said when he could finally find his voice. "It somehow looks bigger from down here."
"Pretty amazing for just being a big wall," Kyle stated, glancing smugly at Cartman, who just gave him a look and didn't respond.
"Can we go back up now?" Tweek asked. "Being down here is making me nervous."
"It's ok, babe," Craig said, still clinging to Stan's back. "Just turn your back to it and look at the river below us. Look how at how tiny it seems compared to everything else!"
Tweek gave him a doubtful look, but did as he was told, going over to the edge of the platform to look at the river that stretched before them. Butters stood next to him, practically on his back, taking pictures of the Hoover Dam, trying to capture the entire thing in his camera.
"Butters, you don't need to take so many pictures of the same thing at one angle, you know," Cartman growled, glancing at him with annoyance. Butters lowered his camera to give him a confused look.
"Yes, I do," he replied. "What if the first picture doesn't come out right? I have to take multiples just in case! Better safe than sorry, you know!"
"Well, that's what you get for using an old man camera instead of your phone," Cartman grumbled. Randy and Gerald both gave him an angry look as Butters went back to taking pictures of uninteresting stuff.
The group stood there, gaping up at the big, majestic wall for a long moment. Then Craig poked Stan in the back of the head, despite still clinging to his back.
"I'm bored again," he announced. Stan glared over his shoulder at him but didn't dignify his statement with a response.
"Can we go soon?" Kenny asked. "I think we've seen all there is to see at the Hoover Dam. And that tour guide isn't really helping with anything."
"Sure," Randy said after a moment of thinking it over. "I think I saw a sign that said there's a gift shop up top. We can go there for a bit and be back on the road in no time."
They made their way back to the top of the Hoover Dam, making a lot faster time since they didn't have to actually wander through the tunnels and stuff, and they were on the road again about an hour later after hitting the gift shop. Tweek had bought another souvenir mug, this time with a disappearing and reappearing picture on the side, depending on the temperature of the mug. Kyle had bought Ike a snow globe with the Hoover Dam in the middle, while Kenny had made sure to buy a post card.
The moment they got back into the RV, Tweek excitedly rushed over to the coffee maker to start making coffee for his new mug. Then he forced his friends to watch the picture on the mug change from the dam being built, to being fully completed. Craig just sat on the couch and watched his boyfriend with fondness in his eyes.
The sun had already set by the time they got back on the road. Randy called back to the teens that they would reach Las Vegas in under an hour, and they all settled in to do their own thing. Kenny sat on his own bed, writing on the post card, while the others sat at the table, muttering occasionally to each other.
"We're not going to be staying in the RV while in Vegas, are we?" Stan wondered after a while, turning towards the front. "I mean, Vegas is famous for its hotels, and it would suck if we didn't get to stay in one."
"Don't worry about it," Randy said. "I already booked one of the hotels for two nights. The rooms are huge and there's an amazing pool and everything."
"And we'll be close to the strip too," Gerald added excitedly, turning around to look at them. Kyle gave him a look but didn't respond to his statement. The others looked at each other excitedly.
"What is there to do in Vegas when you're under twenty-one and couldn't give a crap about drinking and gambling?" Wendy wondered, leaning casually against her boyfriend.
"I looked it up," Stan said. "There's actually a lot. There's the world's largest Ferris Wheel," he glanced at Cartman to see if he would react, but he got decidedly nothing from him, "and different kinds of shows, and lots of places to eat, and just so much to look at."
"Neato!" Butters said, smiling. Cartman rolled his eyes.
"Butters, no one says 'Neato' anymore," he growled.
"Anyway," Stan continued, glaring at him. "What I'm saying is that I think we're going to have an awesome time in Vegas."
"Good," Cartman replied. "Because the Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon were boring."
"To you, maybe," Kyle muttered, looking down at his phone with a bored expression. Cartman glanced at him, but didn't say anything to defend himself.
"I just hope there aren't too many people where we're staying," Tweek stated, twitching slightly. "I don't think I could handle the pressure."
"Tweek, it's Vegas," Stan pointed out. "There's probably going to be a lot of people there."
"Gah!"
Craig angrily got up from the couch and whacked Stan in the back of the head. "Stop freaking out my boyfriend," he growled at him. Stan glared at him, rubbing the back of his head, but he wisely did not reply.
In what seemed like no time at all, the van was crossing city limits and they were surrounded by the sights and sounds of Las Vegas. The teens all crowded around the windows to get a better look at the city. Neon signs lit the streets as far as they could see, and amazing looking buildings surrounded them. They all "ooh!"ed and "ahh!"ed at everything they saw.
Finally, Randy pulled into a parking lot next to one of the large hotels. The author couldn't decide which of the famous Las Vegas hotels they were staying at, so she decided to leave it up to the reader's imagination instead.
The rooms were just as amazing as Randy had said. It was more of a penthouse than a hotel room, but nobody was really complaining. There was a fancy main area, three or four large bedrooms, two bathrooms that had glass walk-in showers and a Jacuzzi tub in both rooms. There was a small bar and a mini fridge as well. The main area had one wall entirely made of glass, where they could see the famous strip.
The moment they entered the room, everyone's jaws dropped open. It was a long while before anyone could find their voice.
"Holy shit, dad!" Stan said in a hushed voice. "How did you manage to pay for all of this?"
"I found this great deal online," Randy explained, raising his head proudly. "I may have also taken some money out of our retirement fund. But, what Sharon doesn't know won't hurt me."
Immediately, the teens took off running towards the different bedrooms, shouting out "I call this room!" or "Dibs on this bed!" Randy and Gerald stared in surprise after them before slowly collecting everyone's stuff and hauling it into the room. Each bedroom had two large beds in them, totaling up to eight beds, but since Tweek and Craig were most definitely sharing a bed while Wendy was planning on sharing a bed with Stan, they all thankfully didn't have a problem with the bedding arrangements.
Kyle followed Stan and Wendy over to one of the rooms, where Wendy immediately threw herself face first onto one of the beds. A loud snore erupted from her a moment later, and Stan smiled and rolled his eyes.
"Are the beds really that comfy, Wendy?" he asked, walking over to her.
"Don't ruin this moment for me," came her muffled reply.
Kyle walked over to the other bed and sat down on it, throwing his bag to the side and pulling out his laptop. As Stan sat down on the bed next to Wendy, Gerald suddenly poked his head into the room.
"Randy and I are gonna go down to the lobby and check out some of the casinos," he told his son. "Will you kids be alright up here by yourselves?"
"I think so, dad," Kyle replied. "Have fun." Gerald nodded and left the room. By now, Wendy had pulled herself into a sitting position and was smiling at Stan and Kyle.
"So," she said mischievously, "Did you guys want to talk about bitches?" She giggled slightly. "I'm just kidding! They're called women!"
Stan gave her a confused look before turning to glance at Kyle, who had not looked up from his laptop. The ginger was typing furiously about something, but from the angle, Stan couldn't see what it was.
"What are you doing?" he asked his friend. Kyle didn't look up.
"I'm just checking something," he muttered. "I heard the Devil's in the Details was going to be doing a cross country tour this summer, and I was seeing if they're going to any of the cities we might be stopping at."
"That's a great idea!" Wendy said. "I love that band! Aren't you friends with the lead singer or something?"
Kyle looked up, looking slightly embarrassed. "I wouldn't say that," he replied. "I know someone who's friends with her, and she gave us her number a few years ago."
"Oh yeah," Stan remembered. "I remember that now! She said she loved South Park and told us to give her a call if we ever wanted to go to one of her band's concerts."
Before Kyle could reply, there was a knock on the door and Gerald was poking his head in once more, looking slightly concerned.
"Hey Kyle," he greeted. "Have you seen my wallet anywhere? I can't find it, and I could have sworn it was in my pockets, but it's not there."
"Yeah," Kyle replied, reaching into his coat pocket. "That's because I have it."
Gerald blinked in surprise as Kyle pulled his wallet out, then gave him a smile. "Oh, well thank you, Kyle," he said, holding out his hand. Kyle made no move to hand it over. "Well? Aren't you going to give it back to me?"
"No," his son answered, shoving the wallet back into his coat pocket.
"Why not?" Gerald asked, frowning at him. Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Because the last time you went to a casino, you lost our house and almost got all of South Park taken over by Native Americans," he sighed. "And besides, mom told me right before we left not to let you spend any money on gambling."
"I promise I won't spend all of my money," his dad growled. "Besides, I might win the big time!"
"Sorry pops," Kyle said, going back to his laptop. "Mom's orders."
"Just give me fifty bucks," Gerald pleaded.
"Nope."
"But I'm your father!"
"I'm still not giving you back your wallet."
"Fine!" Gerald snapped. "I'll just go and watch Randy win it all and do absolutely nothing. I won't lose anything, but I also won't get to win anything. At all. Happy now?"
"Yup," was all his son said.
Gerald let out a huff and left the room once more. They heard him stomp away, but Kyle still refused to look up or move. Stan gave his friend a confused look, while Wendy had an amused grin on her face.
"You did the right thing, Kyle," she told him.
"Thanks, Wendy," Kyle sighed. "I just hope he doesn't try to pawn any money off of Stan's dad." He looked over at his two friends. "It looks like Reeah and her band will be playing near Yellowstone," he told them. "And a couple other places I know our dads will want to go to." Stan grinned at him.
"Perfect," he replied. "This really is going to be the best summer ever! Make the call!"
I'm going to end this chapter here, because I don't have anything else to add at the moment, and I think I've taken too long to not update. So, next time, I'm going to have them going around and doing stuff in Vegas, I'll be introducing one of my running plot points, and we'll really get to have some fun! Sorry that this chapter took so long to come out, but I am terrible about balancing life and writing. Besides, I've been busy making a man. With blonde hair and a tan. And he's good for relieving my…tension.