Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
Chapter 24: Judith
Rei and Shinji ate breakfast together silently, both too satisfied with the other's presence to ruin the peace of the morning by speaking. After a little while, the sound of bare feet on tile took Shinji's attention away from his food and he looked up to see Asuka walking into the kitchen.
"Oh, good morning Asuka."
"...Good morning."
Something about the girl's tone took him by surprise-- he took a proper look at her and saw a very different Asuka than he was used to. Her face was passive and her eyes had a strangely glazed look about them...it was almost like she was sleepwalking. She slowly walked past them, not even bothering to acknowledge her roommate's presence as she headed straight to the ready coffee pot.
"Uh...we left you some eggs and there's a few slices of toast by the stove... Asuka?" The redhead suddenly looked at her mug and realized that she had filled it to near-overflowing. She managed to stop herself and took a few seconds to register what Shinji had said.
"Oh...thanks."
Now Shinji knew he must be dreaming. Not only was she speaking in something below a yell, but she had actually thanked him for something. He looked over at Rei while Asuka had her back to them, only to see that her brow was furrowed slightly in equal confusion. Shinji was a little worried by Asuka's sudden change in demeanor, but didn't say anything when she sat down opposite them and quietly began to eat her meal.
I guess it's just a slow morning for her...
But Asuka's reserved behavior continued for the rest of the day. She spoke little or not at all to both him and Rei, not being rude so much as being detached from the rest of the world. Combined with her equally uncharacteristic lack of appetite, Shinji couldn't help shake the feeling that something was wrong. But he knew better than to approach Asuka about her problems; the truth was that she was almost as introverted as he was, maybe more so. Dinner that night was refreshingly quiet but neither Shinji or Rei could fully appreciate it, as the half-German was occupying both of their thoughts.
"...Good night." Asuka pushed her self up from the table, a half-finished plate in front of her.
"W-wait, Asuka...It's only half-past 6:00..." The girl turned her indigo-colored eyes to the boy still eating, her vision slightly unfocused.
"...That's fine. I need to get some sleep for the sync test tomorrow anyway."
Once the sounds of Asuka's footsteps had disappeared, Shinji leaned across the table to the pale girl who was drinking from her glass of water.
"...Do you think Asuka's sick?" he asked in a concerned tone. Rei set her glass down and stared at it, watching the liquid contents swirl from the impact of the cup on the table.
"...I don't know. But..." She allowed herself a sigh as she considered the most likely possibility. "...She may have seen us last night." Shinji stared at Rei for a moment turning back to his food.
"...I don't know about that... she doesn't seem like the type to let something like that bother her. Besides, why would she care if we're together or not?"
Rei didn't say the answer out loud, but she considered it as she finished her meal.
Asuka flopped onto her bed face down, greeted with the soft comfort of the mattress. Anyone else would have been able to sleep on a bed like this, but it somehow evaded her. She thought that being away from them would give her a chance to forget about what she had seen on her way to the bathroom the previous evening, but all she had done was end up alone with her thoughts. It wasn't so much that they were together that was bothering her. It was that content look on their faces-- like... she tried to shake the thought away, but an old memory crept into her mind's eye. Mother sitting on that hospital bed, holding that old ragdoll... And now she had been abandoned again, for another lifeless, soulless...
Stop. Don't think about it. Just forget it. I'm not going to let this get the best of me. All I need is my Eva. I can live without friends or my parents or being loved by anyone...
Yet despite the constant mental repetition she was forcing on herself, the pain in her chest had dulled but not disappeared entirely.
"All right-- you three are done for the day. Get cleaned up and you can go home." The sync test was over, but Asuka continued to sit in her Plug, passively watching the LCL drain out into the larger pool that surrounded them. After she had waited a few minutes she opened the hatch and climbed out onto the catwalk, looking around uncertainly.
Well, at least they've already left.
With this in mind, Asuka walked across the metal pathway and to the doorway nearby, only to be stopped by Misato just before she entered the shower area.
"Asuka."
The girl turned to her superior officer to acknowledge that she was listening. "...Your sync ratio's gone down a bit... Is everything okay?"
My...? Oh damn... Asuka only barely managed to hide the paleness that had spread across her face, and forced a feeble smile in place.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Misato...I just...I'm a little tired today." The violet-haired woman briefly gave Asuka a motherly, tell-me-the-truth look, but decided to think better of it.
"...All right. Go get cleaned up."The redheadsilently walked past the Major, who lifted the results printout to her face again once Asuka had passed.
Down nearly a third from last time... She grimaced to herself as she thought of Unit-02's current 'official' pilot. If this happens again...I guess I'll have to tell her the truth.
As the hot water washed over her, Asuka's mind continued to wander, now further burdened with the knowledge Misato had laid upon her.In a fit of anger, she slammed her fist against thetile wall, only to retract it in pain.
Damnit...
As much as she had tried to push the memory of Shinji and Rei kissing away, it simply wouldn't leave her. Even in the Plug, the place where she had felt most confident and secure for such a large part of her life. She had been told so often that she was gifted and special, but...
...Am I really that special...if I can't even get an idiot like him to look at me?
She took a deep breath as she turned the shower off and stepped out of the stall, grabbing a towel as she went.
Fine. I don't need him. I don't need anyone.
...I can live on my own.
A/N: This chapter was another difficult one for me to write...I kind of feel like I didn't quite get Asuka's character down right. Or maybe I did. I dunno. Anyway, let me know what you guys think.