Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
Chapter 25: Job
"...Well?"
Maya turned to look at Misato, who had broken the silence that had fallen over the observation deck. The Major was holding a cup of coffee she had filched from the break room, but wasn't drinking it; it seemed to merely be a prop to occupy her hands while she nervously awaited the results of Asuka's latest sync test.
"Major...According to this, she's dropped another 5 points." Misato rubbed her forehead in frustration.
"Nearly a 20-point drop in less than a week-- It wasn't eventhis bad when her ratio was falling from before her coma." Maya's eyes fell on the video feed showing Asuka sitting in the Entry Plug with a stoic expression, as though trying to concentrate.
"...Is there anything that could be causing it, Major?" Misato took a swig of her coffee before answering, barely noticing that it was cold.
"Not that I could think of. Well, actually..." The woman's thoughts trailed to the couple now living under her roof. She'd caught them kissing (or rather, Rei pecking Shinji gently on the cheek) the other day at breakfast, so it stood to reason that Asuka had seen them too...
"...Yes?" The young technician's word's snapped her superior out of her reverie.
"...Oh, sorry...Nevermind, it's nothing," Misato said absentmindedly as she tossed her inedible drink into the trashcan sitting nearby. "...She hasn't told me that anything's wrong."
But then again, she never tells anyone things like that, the Major pondered as Maya clicked on the intercom and told Asuka she was finished.
Nothing.
Asuka repeated this to herself as she slowly made her way back to the apartment, her copper-colored hair swaying lightly in the breeze. She had not been told anything about her sync ratio since Misato had talked to her nearly a week ago, but she had been coming in for tests alone and more frequently. Her genius-level IQ wasn't necessary to determine what this could mean for her.
I'm losing my control. If this keeps happening...I won't be a pilot anymore.
The thought horrified her--being an Eva pilot was all she had in the world. She had kept trying to concentrate when she was in the tests, but somehow it all felt wrong. Asuka's skill hadn't come from actuallythinking about what she was doing--she just felt it, like it was as natural as breathing or walking.
I can't do it like I did before, so I try to concentrate harder. But when I concentrate harder, I just start thinking about how I'm going to mess up, which screws me up even more...
She pressed a hand to her forehead in an effort to massage away the sharp pain that had come from her brain being overworked.
...And now I'm getting a migrane. Goddamnit.
"So...How was your sync test, Asuka?" Shinji asked innocently at dinner. In response Asuka heavily put down her chopsticks and glared at him. He got the message loud and clear, dropping the subject immediately and allowing silence to settle over the table.
Misato had finally managed to get a night off, so she had decided to spend the evening at home. The gloom that surrounded her made her regret her decision rather quickly.
Well, we're all together for once, the violet-haired woman thought as she took a sip of beer. ...But now everything feels so awkward.
The three children were eating slowly, occasionally taking glances at each other, like card players waiting to cheat as soon as no one was looking.
"Hey Misato," Shinji once again made a feeble attempt to break the ice, this time with a slightly less volatile individual. "...How come Rei and I haven't been called in for tests--"
"I'm finished," Asuka declared as she stood up from her seat, making it clear that this was also undesired conversational territory. The three other residents stared at her in mild surprise, then turned back to their food. The redhead cleaned her dishes carelessly, then set them still wet on the counter before stomping around the corner and out of sight. Shinji's cleaning instincts kicked in immediately, and he got up to finish Asuka's job.
"Shinji...You and Rei haven't told Asuka about...her coma, have you?" The boy turned away from the sink to stare at his guardian, while Rei merely shifted her eyes in the Major's direction.
"O-of course not!" Misato sighed gratefully, then focused her eyes on the beer in her hand.
"...Good. It's bad enough to lose a month of your life without having to relive it."
"Misato..." Rei's voice, though calm and monotone, still managed to surprise both of her roommates merely because they had not expected to hear her speak. "...Will Asuka be all right?" Misato's eyes widened at Rei's uncharacteristic display of concern, but she gave the girl a sad smile.
"...I don't know, Rei. It's hard to say how that girl will react to anything. I hate to lie to her, but... if she found out that she's already been replaced..." She trailed off listlessly, leaving an ominous silence in her wake.
Asuka, listening from around the corner, nearly collapsed from the weight of the knowledge that had accidentally been bestowed upone her. Instead, she pushed it to the back of her mind and walked as quietly as she could to her room.
A whole month...?
No matter how much she tried, Asuka still couldn't wrap her mind around that large an amount of time as she lay in her bed, sleep once again eluding her.
How could I end up in a coma for a month? The doctors told me I was only out for a few days...
But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like there was something suspicious going on around her. Not being told her test results, the evasive way Shinji had acted when she occasionally asked about what had happened while she was asleep, and the feeling that she was forgetting something important...
Why do I feel this...blankness? I know that the last thing I remember is fighting the 9th, and then I woke up...why does it seem like... something else happened before I was in the hospital? And those injuries I got weren't that serious, so...
Asuka sighed, too tired to think, and shifted in bed to try and go to sleep. When she finally did manage to drift off, her mind was addled with nightmares. Something about a blinding light coming through the clouds, a light that pierced through to her very soul...
Asuka awoke fitfully, her hair matted around her face by sweat and her clothes damp. The sun was already high in the gray sky, but its light was filtered by dark rainclouds. Asuka turned and looked through her window at the weather that seemed to match her state of mind. She snorted and gave a slight grin, dully amused by Nature's twisted sense of irony. She flopped back onto the bed as the memories of yesterday hit her like a truck.
God...I wish I could just stay in bed all day. She sighed hopefully, as though a divine being would grant her wish, but after a few minutes spent staring at the ceiling, she shook the idle thought from her mind.
Come on, Asuka. You can't be this weak. Just keep working hard on your own and things'll get better.
The cynical part of the half-German smirked sarcastically at this ridiculous notion, but she forced herself to get up anyway.
From now on, don't give any of this a second thought. Just push everything away like before. You're still the same Asuka you used to be.
She slid open her door with a spirited attempt at her normal behavior ("Shinji, you'd better have some food ready for me!"), but was greeted with silence. She looked around curiously, but didn't see him anywhere.
Hmph. I'll bet that idiot's oversleeping. Not likely, but...
Instead of heading into the kitchen, where Shinji had left some breakfast and a note explaining that he and Rei had gone to the market to get food, Asuka walked next door to Shinji's room. She smiled to herself mischeviously at the thought of giving Shinji one of her abrupt wake-up calls.
I haven't done this since I've been back... poor little bastard'll probably have a heart attack.
She slid the door open with a bang...only to find that he wasn't here either. Asuka vaguely wondered where he had run off to when she noticed a book in his room that she hadn't seen there before. Her curiousity got the better of her and she walked into the boy's room, picking up the small tome now sitting on his bedside counter.
"Weird...What's this doing here? 'Psychology?' He never read stuff like this before..."
As she flipped through the complicated text, she noticed small handwriting on the inside back cover that read "Ayanami Rei." Her thoughts turned venomous as she set the book back, barely suppressing the urge to tear the thing to pieces and burn it. Suddenly Asuka realized what she was thinking about the pale girl and felt a small pang of shame.
There's no point in being jealous anymore. Besides, I promised myself I'd try to be nice to her...
But her train of thought came to a complete stop as her eyes fell on the bed. The light had hit something on the pillow that she wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Asuka didn't even notice her trembling hand reaching over to grab the thing, as she was busy praying that she hadn't really seen it.
Come on Asuka. You're just imagining things.
Her finger and thumb tightened around something so slim that it could barely be seen, and she slowly raised it to her face.
Don't jump to conclusions. It's probably not what you think it is...
It was a single strand of light blue hair.
Once her mind acknowledged it as belonging to her other female roommate, all attempts at rational thought disappeared. She slowly clenched her fist around the hair, as if to crush it and the seemingly only logical possibility it presented to dust.
No...He wouldn't... not with her...not with that... that...
Asuka wouldn't even allow herself to finish that thought, some part of her afraid to concede that what she suspicioned could be true. Instead, she let the hair drop to the floor, walked as calmly as she could to her room, threw a few sets of clothes into a duffel bag and ran out the front door.
A/N: Sorry for centering so much on Asuka these last few chapters-- to be honest, she's not one of my favorite characters. But I do acknowledge that she is a multifaceted character, so I'm trying to develop her in that way for this story. It wouldn't be impossible that she didn't know Rei was using Shinji's room... Remember, she's always been waking up after them and going to bed relatively early.( SEE? SEE? IT'S NOT RANDOM! I REALLY DID PLAN THIS OUT! lol) Anyway, this leads up to a meeting between her and Kaworu later on...