YO YO HOME PEOPLE! LOL. Well, I'm glad a lot of you know what a quark is. I'm proud. I think a couple of you thought that I didn't know but I do. LOL. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't know. The reason I brought it up was because we're studying chemicals and atoms and stuff in physical science and we learned about quarks and I thought that that was an AWESOME name for something scientific because it sounds so…un-scientific. Well, all I was really looking for was the simple definition of (or something like) the broken up particles of a proton or the subunits of an atom. I have the suspicion that some of you looked up the definition which would really be cheating but since I didn't specify not to do that I really can't punish you. Everyone who reviewed gets 500 Skittles® but those of you who knew what a quark is get 1000.

Goodybad- Well, I'm glad I make you laugh! That makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! LOL. Things will get more interesting. You just wait.

Senora- Ah, no a quark is not a mix of a quack and a bark. That's a good guess! Not even close to right but it's good! LOL. Thanks for permission to use your Group Therapy thong. I have NO idea why Hermione was holding a waffle after going to pee. I suppose peeing can make you crave waffles sometimes. Glad you're enjoying the fic.

HBP- LOL. I think you were one of the ones who thought I didn't know what a quark is. Yes I knew, and you were right. So I give you 500 extra green Skittles®. LOL. By the way it's spelled "proton." I'm not badgering. LOL. Well, I guess the one cookie left ate himself. I love you too.

xXxRO- LOL. You were correct. So here are your 500 extra Skittles®. –Hands them to you- I think you may have been one of the ones who thought I didn't know what a quark is, too. Yes I knew, and you were right. LOL. I do not, however want to know more because I hate science and I get enough of it in second period at school. But thank you for offering. Glad you like the story. Please continue reading and reviewing!

ZadieCrowe- You may have 500 Skittles® but it would not be fair to give you 1000. Glad you liked chapter 6. It's one of my favorites as well. I am glad you like my story and it makes you laugh but I do hope your chair gets a grip on itself. LOL.

Jessibelle- You deserve for a chapter to be dedicated to you. You're a great friend. DUDE! I can't believe you've seen "The Incredible Shrinking Woman"! I love that movie! LOL. I didn't remember that the dog was named Quark! Cool! You get 250 extra Skittles® because you did know that it was something to do with science and for your excellent use of context clues! Thank you dearly for yelling at clouded hopes for me. Also, thank you for the compliment. Love ya!

DemetersChild- LOL. You're review for chapter 5 made me giggle. I love sad movies. But it's not hard to make me cry though. "Badder Santa" made me cry! So did "Office Space." Those movies aren't supposed to make you cry! "Troy" made me cry worse than "Titanic" did! LOL. Glad you like the story. I hope to see "The Notebook" soon. Oh, I did not know that a quark was also a type of cheese. So yes, you get 500 extra Skittles® because it was correct even though it wasn't the one I was looking for. –Eyes get big at the sight of the lolly pop…grabs it and runs away frolicking- Thank you dearly for adding to my reviews. It means a lot.

Kathleen- "Hay" seems to work it's way into a lot of words. It's just nosy like that. Nic is my friend, as you of course didn't know. But now you do because I told you on AIM. So now you know twice. You get 490 extra Skittles® because you were ever so close to the definition.

Like A Thousand Miles Of Fire- Man that was an elaborate explanation of a quark! LOL. Well, since you gave both definitions (I was looking for the scientific one) you get 550 extra Skittles®. I have read and reviewed your story. Glad you like mine. Thank you for thanking me for thanking you. I feel it's important to thank my reviewers.

Miss Hogwarts- LOL. I can definitely tell you looked it up, but you get your 500 extra Skittles® nevertheless. Do you like my story as well as Skittles®? You didn't say anything about it.

This chapter is dedicated to the gay penguins of the world. I commend them for resisting the penguin seductresses. Although it wasn't too hard for them to resist because they are gay after all.

Chapter 7: Antidisestablishmentarianism and Dog Biscuits

"'Round and 'round the Whomping Willow, the monkey chases the weasel. The monkey thought it was all in fun, but squish goes the weasel!" Ron sang happily.

"Ron!" Hermione snapped. "Ron, focus! This is serious, Ron!"

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Ron asked. "Is it the weasel?"

"No, it's not the weasel, Ron," Hermione sighed. "Do you not understand what this poem means?"

"Umm…" Ron thought. "Well, Hermione, it's about a peacock. So, this means that Ginny knows an exuberant, florescent peacock personally."

Hermione slapped Ron across the face. "No, Ron. It's a metaphor. She's talking about Harry in this poem."

"Harry's a peacock, Hermione?" Ron exclaimed.

"No, dumbass! Ginny's in love with Harry!"

"Oh my God!" Ron gasped. Gasp! "No way. But they may be fucking! I'll kill him!"

"No, I bet you a whole watermelon they are just in love," Hermione said.

"It's a deal." They shook hands.

"Now we've got to confront them about this," Hermione said. "Do you realize how hard that is going to be?"

"As hard as fitting 'antidisestablishmentarianism' on a tiny piece of parchment?" Ron offered.

"Exactly, and as we all know it is extremely hard to fit 'antidisestablishmentarianism' on anything, let alone a tiny piece of parchment…I love sticky notes," Hermione answered.

They walked out of the classroom and into the hall. Ron noticed that there was a Playwizard magazine yes, they have those…in my version of the HP world, anyway lying on the ground. He quickly picked it up and began looking at the provocatively naked witches. Of course they're provocative! They're naked! "Oh, dear!" He cried after only one minute.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Um…Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Can you be a friend?"

"What!" Hermione cried, outraged. "Again? Ron!"

"I know, I'm sorry!" Ron cried. "Please?"

"Oh, alright," Hermione grunted. "But you realize while we're doing this your best friend may be fucking your little sister, right?"

Ron's erection was suddenly gone. "This can wait…"

Ron was in a furious state by the time they found Seamus and Dean talking in the hallway. Ron stomped up to them with Hermione trailing behind.

"…so anyway, the mongoose got out and they found out the turtle did have ADHD," Seamus said.

"Have you fuckin' seen The-Boy-Who-Ain't-Gonna-Live-'Cause-He-Fucked-My-Innocent-Little-Sister?" Ron yelled.

"I think he's in the Common Room," Dean said. "But if Harry's fucked her I don't think that she's too innocent. It's not fair. She never let me fuck her. Damn whore."

Thankfully, Ron didn't hear him because he'd run into the wall. He got up and ran into…another wall. Then Hermione helped him toward the Gryffindor Common Room.

He trudged through the spilled cake batter chocolate, of course. Wait, no…vanilla. We cannot have any chocolate of any type wasted in the middle of the floor and found Harry prodding the squirrel that was nibbling on the log in the fireplace.

"What the hell is this?" Ron yelled, brandishing Ginny's poem in front of Harry's nose, giving him several paper cuts.

Harry graped…I mean gaped. "Holy lamp shade! Where did you get that?"

"Your bag!" Ron answered. "Now, why are you fucking my sister?"

"I'm not," Harry said. "I've been trying, but she keeps saying that her mum told her if she had sex before she was married that a thousand storks would come to attack her."

"Now, Ron," Hermione said. "Calm down…Like I said, I think that they are just seeing each other."

Ron graped…I mean gaped at her. "Tis not good, my dear wallaby."

"Ron," Hermione said, slapping him with her flip flop. "Let them be happy."

"But the watermelon…" Ron began.

"Ronald," Hermione insisted. "Let-them-be-happy."

"Oh, alright," Ron sulked. "But I'm forgetting about the watermelon."

"Fine," Hermione said.

"Fine," Ron said.

"Fine," Hermione said.

"Bless you," Ron said.

"I didn't sneeze," Hermione said. Then she sneezed.

"Can we have sex now?" Ron asked.

"No," Hermione answered. "But, I will give you a hand job. 'Cause I'm bored."

"Okay," Ron said happy as a clam. How can you know when the clams are happy?

And so, Ron received his second hand job. It was quite enjoyable. Hermione was getting to be as good as a Hufflepuff.

Then…it was November. November 8th to be exact. 'Cause it can be. Ginny and Harry had began to date. It went smoothly at first. Ginny continued to write her poetry to Harry. One morning at breakfast, they were eating breakfast (because they were at breakfast so they obviously weren't eating dinner or lunch, therefore they had to be eating breakfast unless they weren't eating at all, but they were) when Hedwig, Hoo, and Pig flew down to their owners.

Hedwig and Pig handed their letters over gracefully but for some reason Hoo had his letter clamped tightly in his braces. He had braces because his beak was crooked. She finally got the letter opened and gasped. Gasp!

"Holy nocturnal ferrets!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh, dear pig snouts!" Ron muttered.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked, confuzzled.

"My mother choked on a dill pickle and got put into the hospital!" Hermione cried.

"Three-hundred dolphins tipped over a submarine full of girl scouts!" Ron cried.

"This letter is blank!" Harry cried.

"Umm…ok," Ginny replied. "Oh! I have another poem!"

Ginny climbed on top of the Gryffindor table and cleared her throat.

"My friend

You are like a tiny frog

Angelic frog

Hopping across the lily pads of life

Consuming the flies of joy

You ribbit and croak

Not die…croak

One day you will

Die, I mean

And the small frog spawn

Will weep in depression

For the car will have finally hit you

Or you fell off the log

Stupid alligators

Damn you

Poor tadpoles

Thank you."

Ginny took a bow and jumped off the table. "Ginny," Hermione beamed. "I think you have a real talent. Your poems are so deep and meaningful."

"Thank you," Ginny said. "It is because I am in love…"

One Week Later

"Ginny," Harry yelled, walking down the stairs of the boys' dormitory. "I do not want to discuss it at the present time. Good day to you."

"But Harry!" Ginny cried. "I don't know what I did!"

"Holy paprika!" Harry exclaimed. "How dare you criticize my dog biscuits!"

"Harry!" Ginny said. "You don't have a dog!"

"It's a metaphor, Ginny!" Harry said, tears filling his eyes. "It-is-a-metaphor."

Ginny turned bright red and stomped away.

"And I'll need my La Cucuracha tape back!" Harry yelled after her.

Suddenly, Professor McGonagall's voice boomed over them all.

"All female students are to report to the Great Hall, immediately. I repeat, all female students are to report to the Great Hall, immediately!"

Will there be a Marshmellow Peep® in the cupboard? Can you feel the love tonight? Is Roy really the man? Will the mailman remember to pick up the videos? Did the video really kill the radio star? Find out next on Harry Potter and the Half Blood…I mean…Unacceptable Title.

Please review. I have a new system, if you review I'm now giving you Whose Line is it Anyway points. I however, will keep score and whoever has the most points will win a prize at the end of the fic. Points will be distributed by content of the review and length. I love me some long reviews! LOL. So review today not tomorrow!

Also, if you leave a comment or something on my Xanga I'll give you 200 bonus points!