Hello hello. This chapter is extra long as it is the confrontation with Ed! I won't say no more here, there'll be a note at the bottom instead.
Thank you very much for the reviews! - they're wonderful:D
Enjoy!
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His curtains were open. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.
Ed stared up out the window from where he sat on the floor leaning against the wall. He could only see the brilliant clear blue sky.
It had been a long time he'd seen a sky like that, it stirred something in his memory, memories of him and Al playing on summer's days under such a sky.
The stir of happiness in his heart almost wasn't recognised by Ed. He hadn't had anything to be happy about in a long time.
Looking down at his left arm he felt the small wavering flame of happiness snuffed out.
His left arm lay resting on his legs before him, bleeding.
In self disgust Ed threw the knife as hard as he could with his right arm at the door into his room. It was left quivering in the wood from the impact.
Cradling his arm to his chest Ed got up and walked over to one of his draws, pulling out a length of bandaging.
He had to make sure he bandaged him arm after cutting himself now. One time he'd stupidly left his room whilst his arm still bled, it had soaked through his sleeve and was dripping before he'd noticed.
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Arm bandaged, dressed and washed, Ed was standing in front of his mirror braiding his hair when there was a knock on the door.
Putting in the hair band Ed checked once again that his arm wasn't bleeding visibly and that the bandaging was hidden by his sleeve and glove.
Eyes widening when he saw the blood covered knife sticking out of the door, he hoped the person did want to come in as he pulled open the door.
"Ohio Ed!" Hughes said cheerfully as he raised a hand in greeting.
"Morning." Ed replied as he pretended to yawn as though he'd only just got up.
"This isn't a social call I'm afraid. The Colonel needs to see you. It's very important." Hughes sighed.
"Fine, fine." Ed said as he stepped into the corridor shutting his door hastily behind him, his thoughts still on the knife sticking out of his bedroom door.
"What does that bastard want this time?"
"I don't know, he didn't say anything other then it was urgent." Hughes said.
He watched the boy as he locked his room.
Was this really the same Ed he'd seen sitting in the rain a few nights ago? He seemed the same as ever. He just couldn't comprehend that Ed could do something that opposed everything he seemed to stand for.
"Alright, let's go." Ed sighed unhappily as he turned, walking alongside Hughes.
Hughes was strangely quiet today. Without the man noticing Ed watched him from the corner of his eye. By now he would usually already be chatting happily about his daughter whilst trying to force pictures of her new hair cut onto him.
Observing the corridors as they drew closer to the colonel's office it struck him that they were all empty.
Had something happened? Was this why the colonel wanted to see him?
"Hey Hughes, where is everyone?" Ed asked as they stopped outside Roy's office.
For a second there was a strange unreadable look on his face. "The colonel will fill you in." he said emotionlessly.
This strange new behaviour was unnerving him slightly. What was going on?
"The colonel is waiting."
Throwing Hughes a curious look Ed stepped forward opening the door.Itdoor swung shut after him.
Roy was sitting behind his desk watching Ed with an almost frightening intensity. His desk was devoid of paperwork for once.
Walking forward uncertainly he was startled to realise that there was someone else in the room.
The person had been sitting on the colonel's black sofa but they now stood as Ed moved forward.
"Al! Wha-why are you here? Is everything ok?" Ed said rushing forward to his younger brother.
It was the colonel that answered the question, not Al.
"No. not really Ed. Please sit down." Roy said.
His eyes flicked uncertainly between Al and Roy. The way Roy spoke had been as though he were ordering Ed. And what was with him using his first name? What happened to Fullmetal?
Obediently Ed sat on the end of the sofa nearest Roy as Al sat next to him fidgeting.
He may not know what was going on but he could read his brother like a book. It was something bad.
He turned expectantly to the colonel.
Still holding Ed with his knowing stare he spoke.
"I know what's been going on Ed. So do Al and Hughes."
Ed stared.
"About what?" Ed said confused. He still didn't understand why Al was there, something must be wrong.
"We know about you Ed. We know you've been cutting yourself."
Ed stared.
Roy stared.
Al stared.
Mind completely blank Ed said simply: "Huh?"
"You have been cutting your left wrist." Roy said bluntly without breaking Ed's gaze.
Once again Ed stared but this time it was from barely concealed horror as Roy words sunk into him like chunks of ice surrounding his heart.
Roy knows! What the fuck! Shit, this is bad. SSSHHHIIIIIITTTTT! REALLY BAD! How does he know? Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! WAIT. Al knows!
Then he froze. Al was sitting right next to him.
In a mixture of fear, dread and disbelief Ed turned slowly to look at him.
There were unshed tears glistening in his younger brothers eyes.
Suddenly Al reached out, grabbing Ed's left arm yanking it towards him as he pushed up the red coat sleeve revealing the bandage.
Blood had started to soak though from the cut he had done before Hughes had come for him.
Reflexively he pulled back his arm yanking down his coat sleeve over his wrist.
Ed's mind was completely blank of all thought, fear and panic burned in his veins like acid.
His heart pumped furiously in his chest, his heart beat erratic as his breathing became shallow and rapid.
He didn't know what to do. His mind was completely blank. The instinct to run had him by the throat.
Silence stretched on as the sound of his heart thumping in his ears grew louder.
Adrenalin ran as rivers through his blood, his muscles twitching from the need to move.
Clap
Ed slammed his hands on the ground as a concrete wall shot upwards across the room making a physical barrier between him and Roy.
Run! His mind screamed frantically at him. Run!Run!Run!
Ed leapt up, dashing for the door.
SLAM
Al tackled him to the ground crushing the air out of him.
They rolled furiously across the floor, Ed barely touching his brother afraid of hurting him whilst trying to hurriedly detangle himself.
Al fought against his brother as he clutched Ed's wrists, pushing them apart to prevent him from doing anymore alchemy.
Ed cried out in pain as Al's grip tightened over his cut wrist, weakening his resistance against his brother.
For a second they froze, Ed pinned beneath Al with his hands pressed to the floor either side of him.
Each was shocked by what they saw in the others face.
Silent tears were running down Al's face as he held Ed firmly looking down at him.
Ed's eyes were wide and afraid, filled with pain and panic, like a wild animals.
In a flash of scorching heat and light the concrete wall Ed created blew apart, chunks of it flying in every direction as a choking dust filled the air.
Al had released his brother from shock and Ed moved immediately, slipping away as he stumbled upright.
Dazed and struggling to breathe Ed slumped against the wall.
Why am I so weak?
Looking down he saw the bandage on his wrist was soaked crimson, blood dripping on to the floor.
Ah Ed thought dully in understanding.
Hands gripped his shoulders roughly, slamming his back firmly against the wall.
A pair of onyx eyes glared down at him.
Panicking Ed struggled against the man, his left arm shaking weakly as he tried to push Roy away, leaving a bloody handprint on his pristine blue uniform.
"Let go of me!" Ed demanded angrily as he struggled and twisted but Roy was immoveable, as solid as the wall behind him whilst his arms were already growing tired.
"Stop niichan!" Al cried as he pushed himself upright, walking on unsteadily legs towards them.
Ed froze, no longer struggling.
Al watched him sadly with silent tears. Roy held him firmly as he stared angrily down at him.
"I'm going to let go of you now. You will do no more alchemy, that is an order. If you do you will be toasted." Roy said slowly, his voice shaking out of forced calm.
Ed nodded silently as he dropped his gaze.
Roy took a step back, holding one hand up ready to snap his fingers at the first sign of Ed clapping his hands.
"Are those cuts where you were trying to kill yourself Ed?" Roy asked.
Ed didn't respond for a long moment. No one moved. Roy and Al watched him as Ed stared down at the dust covered carpet unable to meet their gaze.
"No." Ed muttered.
"But they are self inflicted?" Roy said again.
Emotionlessly Ed raised his eyes, looking into Roy's.
"Yes."
Without warning Al leapt at Ed where he still stood leaning against the wall. Drawing his fist back Al punched his brother in the face, the blow landing hard on his cheek bone.
"How could you niichan!" Al cried as fresh tears rolled down his face whilst Ed slid a little further down the wall from the punch before his muscles collapsed completely causing him to slide into a sitting position against the wall, Al and Roy towering above him.
Silently Al knelt down next to his brother; their eyes meeting for a long moment until Al leant forward pulling his brother into a hug.
Unshed tears sparkled in Ed's eyes.
Roy stood silently over the brothers with a pained expression.
"Why did you do it niichan?" Al said pulling away as he stared into his brother's eyes.
Ed made no move to answer as he stared down at the carpet.
Al gently shook his shoulders as a way of demanding an answer.
"I can't say. You wouldn't understand." Ed's voice shook slightly as he spoke.
"How can you say I wouldn't understand? I've known you all my life niichan." Al said sadly.
Once again Ed didn't respond. Tears glistened in his eyes.
"How would you feel niichan if that was me cutting myself, how would you feel!" Al cried.
He snatched up a piece of sharp twisted metal from among the rubble and dust on the ground and stabbed it into the palm of him hand.
"Al!" Ed cried as he snatched the piece of metal away after pulling it carefully from his hand.
The three of them stared and the blood oozing from Al's hand.
The silence between the brothers spoke volumes of understanding.
"Why brother? If things were getting too much for you why didn't you speak to me? Why didn't you speak to the colonel?" Al said quietly.
Ed shook his head, the barriers holding back the tears finally breaking as they slid down his face.
Al leant forward and hugged his brother again.
Resting his face on his Al's shoulder Ed felt the tears flow forward, feeling anger in the back of his mind that Roy hadn't looked away.
With every tear shed Ed felt his pain and sadness leave him as he realised how stupid he'd been.
Why had he kept his suffering secret? Making it a secret had only given it more power over him. Dam his stupid pride.
Once all his tears were gone Ed had recovered emotionally but he still felt a little light headed.
Gently he pushed his bother away casting a quick look at the colonel and back to Al.
With a look of understanding Al let go of his brother before standing up and moving back a step.
Roy watched with a hint of curiosity at the brothers strange movements.
Using the wall to support himself Ed stood before taking a step forward so he was in front of Roy.
Roywaited silently watching Ed, his eyes as hard as diamonds, glittering darkly.
From the clenching of his jaw and fierceness of his eyes Ed could tell he still wanted to have his say and this show of calmness was stretching his self control.
"Why couldn't you talk to anyone, even though Al wasn't here you could have spoken to me." Roy said through his teeth. His anger was frightening to behold.
Ed didn't say anything. He was shocked by the strength of the colonel's anger.
"I don't think I can talk about it. All I can say is this. I am truly sorry. I can't believe what I did." Ed paused. The words sounded stupid and hollow to own ears.
As Roy watched Ed had broken down and put himself back together again. Now as the boy stood before him there was a shadow of his fighting spirit.
Ed opened his mouth as though about to speak but seeing Roy's expression he closed it again. There were no words he could say to make it up to his brother or Roy. He finally realised what he'd done had effects on the people closest to him.
Lifting his eyes back up to Roy's he said quietly: "Sorry."
Suddenly there was a gentle hand gripping his shoulder.
"I think that's the first time I've heard you apologise." Roy said with the tiniest of smiles. "But don't think you're off the hook."
Applying a little pressure on Ed's shoulder Roy steered him back round to sit on the once black sofa which was now covered in rubble and dust.
"There's a first aid kit on the wall by the door Al, could you get it for me?" Roy asked as he took a seat next to Ed on the sofa, removing his gloves and rolling up his sleeves.
"Now we're going to see what sort of a state you're in." Roy said seriously.
"What?" Ed said his eyes opening wider.
"Your wrist. I need to see it." Roy said firmly, his eyes still promising his earlier threat.
Looking down at his blood soaked bandage he felt a stab of worry. He'd never bled that much before…
Hesitantly Ed held out his arm.
With surprising gentleness Roy untied Ed's sloppy bandaging he'd done one handed earlier that day.
The bandage was completely blood coated; it'd started clotting in places.
Watching Roy's eyes nervously Ed saw them widen in shock as the last of the bandage fell away.
From his wrist to the joint of his elbow was covered in gashes, some merely scratches, some half healed and scabbed but the one half way up his arm that he'd done that morning was still open though no longer bleeding.
Al stopped next to Roy handing him the first aid kit before he saw his brother's arm, promptly turning a chalky white.
Ashamed Ed tried to pull his arm back but Roy tightened his grip on his hand.
"There's no point in getting shy now." Roy said meeting Ed's eyes before opening the first aid kit.
Al sat down on Ed's other side watching on silently.
From the first aid kit Roy pulled out a packet of antiseptic cleaning wipes. Pulling one out Roy carefully began to wipe away the smeared clotting blood on Ed's arm, carefully skirting the still open cut.
Once the blood had been cleared up the damage seemed a lot less and Al regained some colour in his face.
Throwing the wipe into the bin sitting by his desk Roy turned back to Ed.
Turning his arm he studied the cuts for a moment before looking back up at the blond.
"So how long has this been going on?" he said indicating Ed's arm.
There was no point in lying now…
"Shortly after I returned to the military…it just slowly built up…"
"Stupid boy." Roy said as he pulled out a length of bandaging from the kit.
Dropping his gaze he knew Roy was right. How stupid could he have been?
Methodically Roy began to wind the dressing around Ed's arm, tight but not uncomfortable.
"How much trouble am I in?" Ed asked uncertainly as Roy tied the bandage.
"With the military officially? None. With me? A lot." Roy said simply.
Ed hung his head in understanding and dread.
"I'm staying with you niichan." Al said suddenly breaking his silence.
"No. You don't have to leave Resembool just because I was being stupid." Ed said attempting to pull a smile to his face.
"You need someone to look after you niichan and keep you out of trouble. Being with Winry and auntie Pinako is nice but I'm done staying there. Now that I've got a body I've got to go out into the world and make good use of it!"
"But Al-"
"I'm staying and that's final." Al said firmly as he folded his arms.
Sighing, a slight smile curved his lips but only for a second.
"You can't go in my room until I've tidied up though." Ed said darkly. This earned him a glare from both of them.
"You're all patched up Ed." Roy said putting away the first aid kit.
Grateful, Ed pulled his bloodied sleeve back over his arm swaying suddenly.
Looking around at what was left of Roy's office it would be easy to believe that a murder or fight had taken place from all the rubble and dust in the room, as well as the three of them covered being covered in Ed's blood which was also smeared over the walls in places.
"You'd be in less trouble if my office weren't trashed." Roy said as he used a wipe to clean his hands of Ed's blood.
Standing up Ed walked into the centre of the room.
"You're not going to toast me are you?" Ed asked uncertainly.
"Not if you're fixing my office I won't." he said leaning up against his desk.
Silently Ed obeyed.
Clapping his hands together the chunks and dust returned into the floor where Ed had made his concrete wall restoring the room to a relatively clean state. Except for the blood.
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Well, I hope you enjoyed! I said I'd put a note at the bottom here as I was having a dilemma with the ending of this story. I didn't know if it would be good to end it here or to do another chapter maybe of Ed recovering with Al and Roy and just generally sorting out the mess Ed caused for himself. So let me know what you thought of this chapter and whether I should add another chapter just to wrap things up nicely. Thanks for reading!