Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
Chapter 28: Peter I
Asuka lay in bed, quietly staring at the ceiling. The moonlight filtered into the room through half-closed blinds, throwing strips of light onto the sheets and floor. Her fever had gone down quite a bit, but so much was going through her head that she couldn't fall asleep. The half-German shifted her head a bit on her pillow to look at the silver-haired boy in the futon on the ground, his hands linked behind his head. She opened her mouth slightly in an attempt to speak, but chose not to on the chance that he was no longer awake.
I'm already making him sleep on the floor. I don't want to bother him anymore than I am...
"...Yes?" Asuka nearly screamed when Kaworu suddenly broke the silence, only just managing to stifle her exclamation with her hand.
"D-don't do that!" she whispered harshly, but her words were meant only with quiet as the red-eyed boy continued to look upward.
"There is something bothering you, Asuka."
"What do you mean?" she said evasively.
"...The fact that you are still awake is proof enough that your mind is troubled." Asuka was speechless, unable to deny the truth of Kaworu's statement.
"Well...I..." She sighed, unable to put her thoughts into words, and turned her attention back to the ceiling above her.
"Tell me, Asuka...Why did you leave your home?"
Silence.
"...Did it have something to do with Shinji and R--"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY HER NAME!" Asuka shouted furiously, which silenced Kaworu within an instant. After a few awkward moments, the redhead calmed down. "...Sorry...I-I shouldn't have overreacted..." Kaworu nodded his head, indicating that her apology was unnecessary.
"...Do you hate her, Asuka?" The girl didn't speak as she turned the idea over in her head.
"...I do. I hate her more than anyone. But I..." Asuka sighed again, frustrated with herself more than anything else. "I don't know why. Just something about her that...that just rubs me the wrong way. But...I kind of wish that..."
"...That what?" Asuka quietly thought about when she and Rei had gone shopping together. It wasn't really the best memory, but it was the only one she had of them together and doing something normal. It had almost felt like they were...
"...Nothing." Kaworu had assumed that Asuka was finished talking, so he was surprised when she continued. "To be honest...I'm not even sure if I ever reallyliked Shinji to begin with. I mean sure, he's a nice guy and everything, but..."
"...So them being together doesn't bother you?"
Asuka couldn't deny that it did bother her, though.
Am I just jealous?...No, it can't just be that.
What Asuka didn't want to admit to herself was that she just wanted Shinji because she knew she couldn't have him. In her whole life, he was one of the only people who hadn't treated her like she was special or 'different'-- she was just another Eva pilot like him, albeit more naturally talented. Yet now she was losing even that... When Asuka didn't answer, Kaworu knew that he had struck a nerve, and decided to press a different issue.
"...Do you hate me, Asuka?" he asked with a bit of a smile. At this, she shifted her head a bit to look at Kaworu's profile with a flabbergasted expression.
"What?...Why would I hate you?" she said a bit sadly, completely forgetting that she had, in fact, been wishing him a painful death merely twelve hours ago. Even Kaworu raised a surprised eyebrow.
"...Well, considering that I am the current pilot of Unit-02, not to mention that you tried to kill me..."
Asuka cringed at the memory, hating herself for behaving so childishly. "Look, about that...I'm really sorry! I just..." The boy turned his head to look her in the eye, a warm smile on his face, and Asuka suddenly stopped, her throat instantly dry, her blue irises fixed on his red ones.
"There's no need for an apology, Asuka. I understand that your actions were impulsive and that in your right mind, you would not have hurt me."
Don't know about that, Asuka thought wryly to herself, remembering all the pain she had inflicted on Shinji during the time they'd been living together. Now it seemed so childish for her to have been acting so horribly to him.
"To tell you the truth..." She said with a smirk, "I don't even know what my 'right mind' would be. I just feel so lost right now. I used to be able to synch without even thinking about it, but now..." She sighed yet again, almost laughing at how much she felt like Shinji."...I just feel so pathetic." She looked over to see Kaworu's back turned to her, seemingly in an effort to get back to sleep.
I guess I'm not even worth paying attention to anymore, Asuka thought sadly to herself as she tried to fall asleep. Suddenly Kaworu spoke again.
"...There is no human being on this planet that is unworthy of existence, Asuka. Despite what you may feel about yourself at this moment, these negative emotions will come to pass. Because in the end, you are still yourself, and the fact that you are a individual has earned my empathy." Asuka frowned slightly, confused by the young boy's words.
"'Empathy? W-what are you talking about?" Kaworu didn't turn around to face her when he answered her question, but if he had he would have seen a blush that made her face match her flaming hair.
"...I'm saying 'I love you.'"
A/N: Yes, that's a deliberate recollection of Kaworu's words to Shinji in episode 24 :) Sorry this one's late (and that it's so short!)--This was supposed to be yesterday's updatebut I had a bunch of homework to work on :(
I'll have another update ready by tonight for today, so look forward to it!