Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.
Chapter 30: Hosea
Asuka and Kaworu spent the remainder of the day in relative quiet, as he was not in possession of a television set. With anyone else, Asuka would have been going out of her mind from boredom, but it didn't really bother her for some reason. She felt almost peaceful in his presence, and as someone who hadn't really known a sense of contentment in her life, it came as a blessing. Around 5:30, Kaworu tapped Asuka's shoulder, waking her up from her nap on the couch.
"...Are you hungry?" Asuka rubbed her eyes and groaned tiredly, then put a hand to her complaining stomach.
"...Yeah, I guess so..." He went to the closet and found a light windbreaker, then carefully handed it to the yawning girl.
"Would you like to eat out, Asuka?" The redhead instantly snapped to attention and looked at Kaworu like she had seen a ghost.
"W-what?"
Is this a date? Oh geez, I don't have anything to wea--Goddamnit, Asuka, snap out of it! There you go, thinking that stuff again!
Kaworu merely regarded the half-German girl with a curious expression. "...Is that not acceptable?"
"N-no..." she swallowed hard as she tried to convince herself that she wouldn't be tremendously happy with the idea of spending the evening with her host like that. "...It's fine-- let's go." She grabbed the surprised boy's hand and ran out the door, afraid that if she gave the subject more thought she would turn him down.
"Asuka," Kaworu said, derailing her train of thought. She turned to him inquisitively.
"Yeah?" He only smiled as heturned his eyes downward, indicating that she should do the same. She was still holding Kaworu's hand. Embarrassed beyond words, she gave a yelp and let it go as if it was burning hot.
Oh God, I can't believe I just did that...
Kaworu did nothing but chuckle lightly to himself, smiling at how red she was getting.
"This looks like a good one," Shinji said, tossing the pear into a plastic grocery bag after thuroughly inspecting it. Rei came over with from across the produce section carrying a colorful array of vegetables, to the point that they were bulging from her arms and threatening to fall to the smooth tile floor. Shinji smiled uncomfortably at the odd spectacle, then met her halfway to the cart so he could take some from her.
"...Thank you," Rei said gratefully as she put her half of the vegetables into the cart. Shinji gave the pale girl an overwhelmed look.
"Rei, do you think you may have gone...just a little too far?" He indicated the cornucopia of vegetables now in the cart, ranging from tomato, cauliflower and lettuce to some that Shinji hadn't even heard of. Rei blushed slightly as she guiltily looked at the floor.
"...I apologize. I merely wanted to aquire the best possible variety of flavors." Shinji allowed himself a grin as he shook his head.
"Don't, Rei. It's not a big deal." In fact, it made him rather glad to see her so enthused about something so menial.
She's getting a wider range of tastes. That's definitely a good thing, he thought happily.
After gathering a few more essentials, they pushed the now-full cart to the checkout, where they were lucky enough to find a free cashier. As Shinji grabbed food and placed it on the conveyor, he noticed something outside the grocery store's massive glass windows.
Is that...?
He shifted his position so that he could see past the glare of the florescent lighting. Sure enough, it was Asuka. But she was walking with...
...Kaworu?
Even more peculiar was Asuka's demeanor-- if it wasn't for the bright red hair, he wouldn't have thought it was her at all. She was walking quietly with the silver haired boy, her eyes slightly downcast but looking happy nontheless. Shinji watched them continue to walk until they disappeared beyond his line of sight.
What's Asuka doing with him? I thought she was at Hikari's...
"...Shinji?" Rei's voice and a gentle tug on his shoulder brought him back to reality. He turned his head back in her direction, away from the anxiety that was gnawing at him.
"What is it, Rei?" The pale girl indicated the bags full of groceries sitting beside the register. "Oh, sorry!" He said to the disgruntled-looking cashier as he scrambled to pick up the food and get out of the way of the other patrons, Rei grabbing what he couldn't carry.
"...Is there something wrong?" she asked when she noticed that Shinji kept looking at the street behind them.
"Oh, I just saw Asuka and Kaworu a while ago..." Rei narrowed her eyes slightly as she considered what Shinji had said.
That does seem a bit...strange.
She didn't know why, but she too became aware of an odd sense of foreboding at the thought of the silver-haired boy who had once told her that they were 'the same.'
Kaworu opened the front door, yawning as he slipped off his shoes at the front step, full and satisfied after a good meal and a leisurely walk. Asuka slowly followed him, not really paying attention to what she was doing. Her host looked at the clock on the wall and sighed.
"Hmm...nearly 9:30."
The redhead was only half-listening to him as she nodded.
"...Asuka?"
"Huh?" She finally came back to reality as she faced the boy whosenose was now only a few feet from hers. She was aware that her heart was pounding as his calm crimson irises continued to stare into her azure ones. "Wh...what is it?"
"We should get to sleep, since we do have to be at NERV early tomorrow."
"...Yeah..." She slowly walked to her duffel bag and grabbed some clothes to change into, then headed to the bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, uncertain of what to think anymore.
...Why can't I remember why I felt so afraid of him? All I feel now is happy. I...I like being around him.
As she changed, she could still hear the voice in her head telling her not to trust Kaworu, that she had just met him and that there was something very suspicious about someone who takes in complete strangers and bears no grudges against anyone, but she ignored it in favor of the warmth that was making a smile spread across her face.
Asuka walked out of the bathroom dressed in an oversized shirt and baggy gray sleep pants. Kaworu had changed while she had, and now stood in the bedroom unrolling his spare futon.
"...Kaworu?"
The silver-haired boy turned at the sound of his friend's voice and smiled.
"Yes?"
Asuka tried to make eye contact with him, but she found it near impossible, and chose instead to look at the ground as she wrung her hands together nervously.
"Um...Well, it's not really important or anything, but...I..." her voice trailed off into a mumble, which made Kaworu gently ask her to raise her voice a bit. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, then asked her question again.
"...I was wondering...um...did you mean it when you said...that...that you l-loved me..."
Kaworu looked at her curiously. Why was she so concerned about that? His smile widened.
"Of course I did, Asuka." To his surprise, she lifted her head to reveal that her sad, uncertain face had melted into a smile that rivaled his own. Asuka got on her knees so she was level with him.
"...Thank you. You have no idea... how much I needed to hear that from someone. And I..." She blushed as she looked down at the floor again, "...I'm glad I heard it from you."
He was about to give Asuka another of his assurances of her worth as a human being when she suddenly threw her arms around him, burying her face into his shoulder. Now it was his turn to feel uncomfortable--possibly the first time he had ever been uncomfortable in the course of his existence. For a while all was silent as she sat there clinging to him almost like a child to its mother, then Kaworu heard muffled whimpering accompanied by something wet on his shirt where Asuka's face was.
Is she...
"I...I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." the redhead whispered into his shoulder as she desperately held him tighter, not sure what she wasapologizing about. Kaworu stared at her silently for a moment, his face blank and confused. Then, on the bidding of something deep inside himself, he gently put a hand on her head, assuring her that he was still there.
Kaworu stared at Asuka from his place on the floor. She was sleeping peacefully, and it almost seemed like her actions from an hour ago had never occured. He looked back up at the ceiling, feeling as confused as Asuka had when she had been awake like this the previous evening.
He had never expected her to do that. Well, it had been his intention from the beginning that she would befriend him, thus making her easier to manipulate. She was acting exactly as he had anticipated she would, but now he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he thought about what lay in store for her along the path he was leading her to.
This feeling...is it 'guilt'?
He was aware of emotions, but had little to no knowledge of what they actually meant. It had surprised him when he met Shinji how easily humans allowed their feelings to control their behaviors and actions. It was easy enough to imitate emotions for him, yet Asuka had actually made him feel something.
...Can I really still just let this happen now?
His thoughts were interrupted by a cold voice inside his head.
...Are you having second thoughts, Kaworu?
The boy's neutral face turned into a slight frown.
No. I have no reservations about my task.
You're lying. Are you planning to betray me?
Kaworu didn't answer.
...Do you truly think that even one of the lilim is worth abandoning our destiny? Have you forgotten our brethren, killed in cold blood by those Children?
I have not forgotten. Yet I fail to see why the entirety of the lilim must suffer for the sake of a few.
It is not in your place to consider such things.
You sound like the old men, Kaworu smiled to himself.
DoNOT compare me to those fools at SEELE. They continue to play God, assuming for themselves a duty intended only for the Divine. ...But it will be I who ensures the Rapture is fulfilled.
This is what you were created for, Kaworu. Abandon any dreams of humanity that you may have-- for that is all they will ever be.
With that, the voice left Kaworu alone again. For a long time he stared at the ceiling, trying to forget the ultimate truth of his existence. He quietly got up and walked over to Asuka's bed, then leaned over and gently kissed her on the forehead. She smiled in her sleep, shifting a little under the covers contentedly. Kaworu only continued to look at her with a sad expression on his face.
...Forgive me, Asuka. But this is how it must be.
A/N: Well, I hope the length of this one makes up for the last two :) Peace, and see you next chapter!
Shinji: Hey Rei, this jerk's been cheating us on appearance time!
Rei: Yes. I was under the impression this story was about us-- this is unacceptable.
Shinji: So what do we do?
Rei:...Let's beat him up.
Shinji: (grabs bat as Rei pulls out aboard with a nail in it) Sweet.
(Both proceed to wail on author)