This chapter is dedicated to Fall Out Boy because they are one of the best bands ever! If you've never heard them I suggest you listen to "Sugar, We're Going Down." It's my favorite song at the moment. I'd like it noted that I'm going to marry Fall Out Boy…yes, the whole band.

-Hugs all of you fabulous reviewers, except for Fiyren-Valkyrie and KarlaBob because they requested to not be hugged-

Meditation6- -Gasp- Oh em gee! I have missed you so much! You need to get on AIM so we can talk! I haven't heard from you in so long! I hope you've been doing good! Thank you for my cookie! –Takes it- I'm so glad you brought up the possessed donut because I'd completely forgot about it! And now I can put it in the story again! -Hug- IM me, girl, so we can catch up!

Chickens-of-Doom- LOL. Yeah, I like the little endnotes too. Unfortunately, I forget to put them sometimes because in the original fic I didn't do that. I'll try to remember to put them from now on. Glad you like the story!

Cassandra Lee- Oh, no. This is a Ron/Hermione story. I am a passionate Ron/Hermione shipper. I love to read and write Draco/Hermione fics though. But no, this is definitely a Ron/Hermione story; though it's mostly just nonsense.

Ariel- I'm glad you like the story! Yes, yes "friggle fraggle" is silly. I like silliness!

Millsie- I'm so glad you liked it! Yes, there is much much more! There will be thirty chapters in all and then a sequel.

Brooke!- LOL. Yes, your exclamation mark makes me very happy. I don't know if that's entirely healthy or not…but oh well! Oh, please don't forget about this fic! If you have to, put it on your alert list. I won't mind at all. LOL.

Jules- LMAO, your review made me giggle. I shall think about your suggestions. Thanks for…suggesting them. Since they are suggestions I guess there's not much more you can do but suggest them. I hope you like the fic.

Silver Ice- You throw Q-tips in your mop bucket too? -Gasp- LOL. DUDE! Can I use that book title in the fic? Please? I shall credit you if I do. LOL. Kick ball is crazy. I've always hated it. Especially since Travis Conner kicked it and it hit me hard in the stomach in the fourth grade. –Growls- But I'm not still bitter over it. Oh, no. Of course you can have a pet lizard. –Hands you a lizard- Well, I hope you continue to enjoy this fic.

Hiba- Well, dear me I don't want you to die! So here's an update. Glad you like the fic! –Smile-

Fiyren-Valkyrie- Okay, you shan't receive a hug. Instead I'll give you…uh…a…lighter. Yes, an orange lighter. Here you go. –Hands you an orange see-through lighter-

ash vault rose garden- I'm so glad you like the fic. You do get the award for shortest reviews. But at least you reviewed. Thank you much!

HBP- Well! LOL. You only reviewed for the hug, huh? Okay, works for me.

chococoveredblaise- LOL. Yay for the pork poem! Keep those poems coming. I enjoy them immensely.

KarlaBob- I thought you weren't reading anymore. Well, I'm glad you're back. You shall have a…envelope instead of a hug then.

N.C. PsyChick- I absolutely LOVE your reviews. They make me giggle madly and force my mother to stare at me like I'm a baboon in a bikini. Please keep reading and PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD keep reviewing because I love them.

Jessibelle- LOL. I don't really have all that much to say. I love your organized reviews. But not as much as I love you. You rock. Talk to you later.

Donna Nonna- So you are Briana's friend? Hello! LOL. I'm glad you like the fic. Please continue to read and review.

Like A Thousand Miles Of Fire- Perhaps you did not review for the last chapter…because I go through the recent reviews and answer them. That's the only reason I can think that I would have skipped you. I'm terribly sorry about it though. –Gives you an extra hug-

SummerRain- I'm glad you like it! Please keep reading and reviewing.

Goodybad- I'm glad you liked it!

CSIGregSandersFan- LOL. Well of course it was Draco! Who else would it be?

Silver Dragon Princess- My spatula is in the trash can. The handle broke.

AngelonIce30- Well, I'm glad you like it. There will be a bit more of Draco in the future. Love ya lots.

Heartless-Ice-Princess-Lucille- Oh, well I don't know what happened to your review. It makes me sad, but oh well. I'm glad you like the fic. Of course I care about your boyfriend, and your problems with you boyfriend, and your boyfriends socks! Well, please keep reviewing!

QueEnfullofDraMa- Yes, Hermione is a very naughty girl. LOL. Your last sentence in your review made me giggle. Glad you like!

ShortLeggedGiraffe- Glad you like!

Chapter 12: Altoids and THE WORLD

Hermione wandered down the hall doing her Prefect duties. She walked down the hall and came to the opening of the Entrance Hall. There she saw Draco Malfoy cowering in the middle of the room. He was lying on the floor in the fetal position. He was shaking like rattlesnake that's been put on a Tilt-A-Whirl for three hours and then locked in a freezer.

Hermione ran to him and stood over him. "Malfoy!" she yelped. "Are you okay!" Draco looked up at her and whimpered. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"It—it was horrible!" he shivered.

"What was?"

"I went over to that corner over there because I thought I'd heard a Bop-It®. So I went over and looked and it wasn't a Bop-It®, Granger. It wasn't a Bop-It® at all!"

"What was it?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Nothing but a bit of dust," he answered with a sniffle. "It seems that I imagined the Bop-It noises."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him. Then she cleared her throat and said, "Uh…then why are you curled up like a sissy and sucking your thumb?"

"Because…because…I don't remember actually…" He stopped weeping and stood up. Hermione noticed that he wasn't wearing anything under his robes but a pair of tighty-whities. Hermione giggled. She turned and walked back down the hall. She felt someone following her so she turned around and saw Draco was right behind her.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Draco said nothing. He moved closer and closer to Hermione. She looked at him. He stared into her eyes BURNING A HOLE THROUGH HER SOUL WITH HIS GLEAMING ICY EYES…HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? HOW CAN HE BURN A HOLE THROUGH HER SOUL IF HIS EYES ARE ICY? I SHALL STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS now.

He leaned in so close to Hermione's face she could count the number of eyebrows he had. She could feel his breath on her face. It smelled strongly of Almond Joy®. She blinked and looked at then whispered, "Draco, what are you doing? This is a Ron/Hermione fic."

Draco snapped back and said, "Oh…right…" he turned on his heel and skipped away in his skimpy underwear. Hermione shook her head and walked down the now completely dark corridor. When she shook her head she'd extinguished all the lanterns that hung in the hallway with her giant hair.

She entered the Common Room to find Ron slung over the back of the couch on his stomach. She stomped over to him and shook him vigorously. He awoke with a jerk. Hermione stared at him crossly.

"Why weren't you doing your prefect duties, Mr. Lazy Pants?" she asked.

"I…fell asleep," he answered.

"Holy Corey Feldman!" Harry exclaimed as he sucked on the end of his joint. He was crouched in the corner of the Common Room, his bloodshot eyes darting from side to side rapidly.

Hermione started to say something when someone crawled through the window. They all looked up. Harry threw his blunt across the room and yelped. The person crawling through the window stood up and looked around the room. She appeared to be a young girl. She had straight brown hair with a giant name tag on her shirt that said, "LISA."

She glanced around at the people in the room. Apparently, she'd been expecting it to be empty.

She reached inside her bra and pulled out a box of Green Apple Altoids®. "Have an Altoid®," she said in a Californian accent. Can I actually say that? Because it actually seems that people from California don't have accents. I'm the one with the accent as I am from North Carolina. But the Harry Potter characters are from Europe…so I guess that people from California would have an accent to them. Problem solved.

Harry swallowed five of the tiny mints and Ron took one. Hermione declined.

"Come on," Lisa urged, stepping over the SAT pamphlets in the middle of the room. "You know you want to!"

"No, I don't," Hermione said. Her left eye began to twitch.

"Yesssss you do!" Lisa urged.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Is this turning anybody else on?" Ron asked as he vigorously popped the bubble wrap that he was holding.

"FINE!" Hermione yelled. She took an Altoid® and popped it in her mouth. "Happy?" She said this so loud and angrily that the Altoid® flew out of her mouth and hit Lisa in the head.

"Now take off your clothes," Ron said. "You know you want to."

"No," she said.

Lisa looked around the room again.

"Why are you here?" Hermione questioned as she threw her birth control pills out the window.

"I'm here to take over the world," Lisa answered. She fell onto the floor and started searching underneath the couch.

"Holy Fall Out Boy lyrics!" Harry exclaimed as he watched Lisa roll like a secret agent across the room on the floor. "Umm…if you're trying to take over the world why are you penetrating our common room?"

Lisa looked up. "Penetrating? I'm not having sex with your common room. And even if I was I couldn't penetrate anything. As I don't have a penis."

"That's what the author's thesaurus on her computer told her to put. It insisted, so she did. Anyway, why are you?" Harry asked.

"Because I know it's here somewhere!" Lisa answered. She was now probing through the inflatable kiddy swimming pool in the middle of the room.

"What do you know is here?" Ron asked as he taped a tiny mirror to his shoe.

Hermione put her hands on her hips and stared skeptically at Lisa. Ron walked up to Hermione and positioned his foot under her so he could easily see up her skirt.

"The world," Lisa answered, now looking under the hearthrug. "I told you that already."

"Holy Uno® cards!" Harry exclaimed.

"What?" Hermione asked beating Ron in the head with her wand. "That doesn't make any sense at all."

"Yes it does," Lisa said irritably. "There's a box with the word "world" written in very large, black, capital letters and I'm going to take it over…if I can find it."

She walked over to Harry and began to unbutton his pants.

"Holy fan blade!" Harry exclaimed.

Ginny jerked Harry away from Lisa by the waist band of his pants, forcing him to sit on her lap.

"The world is definitely not in there," she snarled. "Believe me, I should know."

Lisa shrugged. She then opened the broom closet in the corner of the common room. They all glanced back over to her as they heard her shriek with delight. She entered the closet and came back out holding a giant cardboard box with "THE WORLD" written in giant, black, capital letters across it.

She placed it down on the floor and tore her clothes off. Underneath she was wearing a red spandex body suit quite like the one Brittney Spears wore in her horrid "Oops, I Did It Again" video. It too had a name tag on it that said, "Lisa" but underneath it said, "The ruler of THE WORLD." She put her hands on her hips and grinned.

"Muahahahahahaha," she said. "Ha."

"Holy toe rings!" Harry exclaimed.

Lisa climbed into the box sank down so she sitting cross-legged at the bottom. Only the top of her head was visible. She reached up, took the edges of flaps and pulled the box closed. It disappeared with a poof. They all graped…I mean gaped at the place where the box had been.

"Can we have sex now?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Soon," she answered. "I'm going to bed."

Ron fainted.

Harry and Ginny made out on the couch.

Okay, I don't really like this chapter either. I have the feeling I'm losing my touch which really sucks. It makes me sad. Oh, well…Please review even though it's not so good. If you review I'll give you some pizza. I love all of my reviewers. You rock my insert article of my clothing that you would like to rock here .

I'd like it noted that I do not like Brittney Spears. I hate her with a passion.