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Rating: PG-13 for now, may change later. Will be slash later in the story: HP/?, JP/LE
Spoilers: Books 1-5. Do not read unless you have FINISHED The Order of the Phoenix.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. All Harry Potter™ characters and settings are the sole intellectual property of JK Rowling, Warner Bros. and various others who all aren't connected to me in any way. No money is being made with this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 5: Decisions (Part 1)
James padded across the room and began to shake the sleeping boy awake. After a few moments, a small groan was heard and James saw sleepy blue eyes peer back at him. "Padfoot!" he whispered. "Shush. Hurry up and get up, we need to have a talk. Come on!" James waited for his best friend to get out of his bed before the two of them walked back to James' bed, where Remus and Peter were already waiting. Both boys, who had also just been woken up, were rubbing the remnants of sleep from their eyes.
"James!" moaned Sirius. "Why did you have to get us up this early? It should be made illegal!"
James gave him an absent wave of the hand and sat down at the head of the bed, looking at his friends. Quietly he started to speak, "It's about Harry. And Remus". Seeing the confused look on Peter's face, he further explained, "What are we going to do during the full moon? We certainly can't tell Harry about Remus' condition. Firstly, it's Remus' secret to tell and secondly, we don't know how he'll react. It's too much of a risk. Then on top of that, Harry can't find out that we are animagi. Illegal ones at that".
Remus agreed with James. "I know Harry seems like a nice person, what we know about him that is, but it's just that not everybody will react like you guys did. What if he thinks I'm a dangerous beast? If Harry knew, he could easily get me thrown out of Hogwarts. Besides, he could report you to the Ministry. You could even be sent to Azkaban for becoming illegal animagi!" he said. "I don't think Harry would though, he seems too nice for that, but I think it's safer not to take the risk".
Sirius, who had an uncharacteristic pensive look on his face, just shrugged his shoulders in agreement. James privately thought that he should have tried to find some tea for his best friend to wake him up properly. Peter on the other hand was trembling, most likely at the thought of being discovered to being an illegal animagus.
James agreed with Remus, Harry did seem like a likeable person, but he couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that there was much more to him than he had revealed. He hadn't yet confronted Harry about that first night when James had seen him lying unconscious in the Hospital Wing. Sirius, Remus, and himself had agreed to keep silent about it, but James knew that all of them were curious as to why the Headmaster did not seem to know who Harry had been at the time. Then there was the fact that there was a strange similarity between the two of them. At dinner last night Sirius and several other students at the Gryffindor table had commented on how alike they were in appearance. James had the feeling that life had just got a lot more interesting now that Harry had arrived, before he was brought out of his musing by Peter.
"Umm guys?" he asked, fingers fiddling with his robe. "Should we be talking here, I mean he's in his bed. Won't he be able to hear us talking?"
"No Wormtail" began Remus. "Last night, before he fell asleep I heard him cast silencing spells around his bed area. I doubt that he could hear a thing until he takes them down" he explained.
"Why does he need a silencing spell?" asked Peter.
"No idea. Maybe he talks in his sleep about the embarrassing things that have happened to him, and he doesn't want us to know about it?" replied Sirius sarcastically. "Why do you think people use silencing spells? Especially when they're about to go to sleep? He probably has nightmares or something and doesn't want us to hear or even know about them".
"Good point" agreed James, "Nevertheless it's fortunate for us, since he won't hear us talking. So, we're agreed that we don't tell him anything. If he does find out, well … we'll cross that bridge when or if we come to it".
"Besides, there's always Professor Dumbledore" Remus pointed out.
"True. However, what do we tell Harry? The full moon is next week. We'll need to distract him somehow", Peter asked.
"I think we should wait and see, if there's an opportunity we'll use it. Otherwise, we could use one of Remus' old excuses? I doubt Harry would become suspicious so soon" James mused.
"Okay. Anyway, we'd better start getting ready soon. It's almost time for breakfast and we'll be getting our new timetables as well. Come on!" exclaimed Remus, as he caught sight of the time.
Sirius agreed. "We definitely want to make breakfast today" he said, a mischievous look in his eyes. "Don't we Prongs?"
Remus walked back to his area shaking his head. "I don't want to know. Really I don't" he muttered under his breath. Sighing he turned around and looked at the two grinning boys. "It's Snape isn't it?" Receiving no reply, Remus shook his head at their behaviour while successfully hiding his smile at the same time. Instead, he approached Harry's bed intending on waking the sleeping boy.
**********
Harry felt as if he was still in a dream as he followed Sirius and Remus down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The previous night had been anything but restful for him. Memories and dreams, from his parents' final words to reliving that day at the Department of Mysteries had plagued Harry all night. He had received several odd looks this morning after he had opened the curtains surrounding his bed. When he had looked in the mirror, Harry realised why the four boys had looked so shocked. He looked terrible. There were light purple bruises under his eyes, which were empathised by the paleness of his skin, and his eyes were red, due to the fact that he had cried several times due to his dreams. Luckily, Harry had remembered to erect silencing spells around his bed, which had stopped his new dorm-mates from hearing his screams, but he was betrayed by the hoarseness of his voice.
The more logical part of his brain, which sounded suspiciously like the older Remus, was telling him that the dreams were a direct result of being confronted with his dead mother, father and godfather, as well as their traitor. The irrational part of him instead insisted that their deaths were his fault and that he deserved the dreams. 'After all, being able to meet and talk to Lily and James surely was too much of a good thing?' Harry sighed. He wished he could take some dreamless sleep potion before going to sleep, but then he would have to explain why he needed the potion, which would only lead to more questions and he was supposed to be keeping a low profile while he was in the past.
Harry sat next to Remus while James, Sirius, and Peter sat down on the opposite side, facing the Slytherin table. Harry had noticed that James and Sirius were both sporting mischievous grins as they had dressed that morning. Harry wondered whom their victims were this time but knew that whatever they were upto, it was most likely not on the same level as what he had witnessed in Snape's pensive. At least he hoped that was the case. It had taken many conversations with Remus over the summer before he could forget the sheer maliciousness of what his father and Sirius had done to Snape.
Harry grabbed a single piece of toast and placed a small amount of scrambled eggs on his plate. He began to nibble on the toast, content to sort out his thoughts, letting the conversations around the table pass over him. He thought back to dinner the previous night. He had received many curious looks as he entered the Great Hall, especially after he sat down at the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore had then stood up and introduced Harry as a transfer student who would be entering the Sixth year.
Harry knew he had turned as red as the Weasleys' hair as everyone in the Hall had turned around to look at him. Slouching slightly he tried to hide his blush, much to the amusement of James and Sirius. Remus had taken pity on him, and instead engaged him in conversation, pointing out certain Professors and students of note. James and Sirius added their comments and regaled stories of pranks they had played against such persons.
It was at dinner that Harry had got his first look at Lily Evans, his mother. She had been seated further down the table, sitting with a small group of girls. Harry had discretely managed a look or two, but had been unable to talk to her. He had also noticed several looks aimed at both himself and James. Unsurprisingly several faces at the Slytherin table openly showed their disgust at the new Gryffindor, but then Harry had not expected anything less from them.
The shaking of his arm jerked Harry from his thoughts. Looking up, Harry blushed as he saw Sirius looking at him with a slightly concerned look on his face. Harry apologised. "Sorry Sirius, I was lost in thought. You know, what with being in a new school, lots of strangers and new teachers" he explained with a small shrug.
A corner of Sirius' mouth curled up in amusement, before the concerned look returned. "Harry? Are you ill?" he asked, looking pointedly at Harry's small breakfast. "It's just that you didn't eat all that much last night either, and well you are rather thin".
James nodded in agreement. "There is thin, and then there is thin. If you're not feeling well, we'll take you to see Madam Pomfrey and she can give you something to help" he offered.
Harry felt a warm feeling at the concern the teenagers were displaying, but at the same time was embarrassed that they had noticed his lack of appetite. He recalled that at Grimmauld Place, everyone had become used to Harry's lack of appetite and although Mrs Weasley had continually tried to make him eat more, she had rarely succeeded.
Realising he need to reassure James and Sirius, Harry smiled. "No, it's okay. It's probably due to the travelling. I'll be back to normal soon enough", he explained. Realising that his voice still sounded hoarse, Harry took a sip of pumpkin juice to soothe his throat before adding "Really, don't worry about me".
Although the concern remained evident in their eyes, luckily for Harry, they did not force the issue. Harry decided to change the subject. "Has the post come yet?" he asked.
"Yes, about 10 minutes ago, while you were still in la la land" Remus teased with a smile, having heard the question as he returned to the table. Harry felt a spark of disappointment, he had hoped to see Hedwig and check that she had arrived safely. Deciding to visit her later in the Owlery, he looked back up to see Remus handing out their timetables. Grabbing his, Harry scanned the parchment quickly, noting his subjects for the day.
Leaving the remainder of his breakfast, he rose from the table intending to return to the Tower and grab his books for the day. Remus rose to accompany him and they had almost reached the large wooden doors when they heard a shout. Looking in the direction the sound had come from, Harry could not help himself. He laughed. The centre of the commotion was no other than a 16-year-old version of the Potions Master, Snape. Harry and Remus joined the many students in filling the Great Hall with laughter, accompanied by several noises of disgust from others.
It seemed that Snape had ingested a hair-growth potion in his breakfast. He currently sported knee length black hair as well as a substantial beard. The truly disturbing thing was that not only was his hair greasy, but so was his beard! Harry, along with many others students were caught between laughing at Snape or grimacing at the sight. Snape on the other hand, looked truly mortified. Although most of his face was covered in facial hair, a bright red blush was evident on the usually sallow face. However, from anger or embarrassment, Harry could not tell.
'Most likely both', Harry mused. 'I wonder how my dad and Sirius managed to get it into his food?' Harry definitely did not consider himself big enough to actually feel any sympathy for Snape at that particular moment, especially considering their last encounter at Order Headquarters.
Harry turned his eyes to the Gryffindor table and saw the satisfied looks on both James and Sirius' face, thus confirming Harry's suspicions. From Harry's vantage point, he could see McGonagall approach the two troublemakers, but before he could warn them Remus had taken hold of his elbow and was pulling him out of the Great Hall.
"Remus!" cried Harry, resisting the movement. "Shouldn't we try to help James and Sirius? It looks like McGonagall is about to give them detention or something?"
Remus kept tugging the black-haired boy forward. "No need" he explained as he made his way to Gryffindor Tower. "I doubt Professor McGonagall will do anything serious to them just yet, it is the start of term after all. She'll probably only tell them off, that is if those two don't charm their way out completely" he said with a chuckle.
Harry followed the werewolf through the corridors of Hogwarts, accepting that Remus knew James and Sirius better than he did. The two boys quickly hurried to their room and grabbed their bags, as well as those of the others before hurrying to their first lesson - Transfiguration. Harry, trying to keep up the pretence of not knowing his way around Hogwarts, followed Remus and only paid the minimum amount of attention to what he was saying. Instead, Harry was thinking about what he had heard about his parents.
He remembered when he got his wand, how he had been told his father's strength lay with Transfiguration, while his mother had been gifted in Charms. He could feel butterflies in his stomach as he realised that he would be able to see James and Lily practice in their fields first hand. Immediately following this thought was the worry that Harry would be unable to compete on the same level and thus would embarrass himself in front of the others. 'No!' he promised himself. 'I won't. If I can't do the magic in the lesson, I'll practice and practice until I can. I will not embarrass myself in front of James or Lily, or even Sirius or Remus'.
Luckily, Harry and Remus arrived at the Transfiguration classroom before the bell had rung for the beginning of class. After they had handed the other bags they had been carrying to their respective owners, James and Sirius quickly informed them that McGonagall had only given them a warning this time, but they felt it had been worth it just to see the look on Snape's face.
The five teenagers walked into the classroom. Peter had scurried around to take the seat next to James. Sirius, after giving Peter a dirty look, sat down next to Remus, behind Peter and James, while Harry took a seat at the table next to Sirius. Harry was hunched under his table, looking for his quill, when he felt someone sit down next to him. Straightening up to greet the student, Harry's words were suddenly caught in his throat. Lily Evans, his mum, had sat down next to him!
Lily, who decided to say hello, saved Harry the embarrassment of imitating a fish out of water. "I'm Lily Evans. I saw you last night but that lot surrounded you. I doubt you would have noticed me. I'm a Sixth year Gryffindor as well".
Harry smiled. "Hi Lily" he said, "I'm Harry Granger as I'm sure you already know. Pleased to meet you".
"Same here. I thought I'd be late for my first lesson. I had to take a package back to my room you see. My sister hid some of my things and so my mother had to send it by owl post" she explained. "Then one of the stairs changed on me and it took me ages to get back here. I really thought I'd get into trouble, but luckily I got here with a little time to spare. Anyway enough about my troubles, what subjects are you taking Harry?"
Feeling slightly sorry for his mother when he heard what Aunt Petunia had done he smiled sympathetically at her. "Lucky I'm an only child I suppose" he said. "I'm taking DADA, Potions, Charms, Magical Creatures and Healing as well as this. What about you?"
"Mostly the same as you actually" she replied. "Instead of Magical Creatures I'm taking Runes. I don't really have a large affinity for animals unfortunately. It's interesting enough with just my owl".
Harry chuckled at the forlorn look on her face, which caused Lily to smile, but the entrance of Professor McGonagall stopped any further conversation between the two. The Professor, after glaring at James and Sirius, told the class that they were going to do a quick review of their OWL studies. After handing out several items, she told them to transform the white mouse into a cat, the quill into a vase and to make the goblet disappear. Reminding them that points would be awarded for creativity, she set the students to work.
Harry looked at the three objects and decided to tackle the goblet first. Taking a few moments to compose himself, Harry held his wand and searched his memory for the correct spell. Miraculously, or perhaps due to the extensive reading Harry had done over the summer, he managed to perform the Vanishing spell successfully on his goblet, causing it to disappear on his first attempt.
Harry then decided to tackle the mouse. It was halfway through the lesson when he had finally managed to transform the mouse into a similarly snow white kitten. The only thing that disturbed Harry was that the kitten had red eyes. He had tried several times to change the colour but had not succeeded. Harry unconsciously shivered as he looked at the cat, remembering Voldemort's blood red eyes.
Harry pushed the feeling aside and focused on turning his quill into a vase. His first attempt was rather poor he thought. Admittedly, he had created a basic cylindrical shape, but the vase was covered with small feathers. Harry grimaced. He tried to reverse the transfiguration, but in his haste, he managed to only further stabilise the transformation, thus unable to transfigure it back into its original shape. Harry sighed and decided to see how the rest of the class was doing with the tasks.
He noticed that Professor McGonagall was standing in front of James, a disapproving look on her face. James it seemed had finished his transfigurations and had been chatting to Sirius when McGonagall had caught him. Before he could lose any points, he said "But Professor, I've finished! You didn't assign us to do anything else so I was merely discussing with Sirius here, what would be an appropriate item to conjure. After all, it is still Transfiguration. Surely you wouldn't penalise us for that?" he asked, hazel eyes wide in an attempt to convince the Professor that he was sincere.
"And pray Mr Potter, what did you decide upon?" she asked, her tone clearly saying she didn't believe a word.
Rather than tell McGonagall, Harry saw James flick his wand he conjured a bunch of yellow roses and placed them in the Vase. With a smirk, James presented the vase, complete with roses, to his shocked Professor. Harry was impressed that James had managed to conjure up the roses, especially when McGonagall had told him Conjuring was NEWT level work. It seemed he was not the only one, for the attention of the entire class was now on James and McGonagall. After a few seconds of silence, she managed to regain her senses and awarded Gryffindor 10 points before moving onto a Ravenclaw student. Harry's attention was still on his father who had turned round to help Peter, who was also struggling with his quill transfiguration and still had to Vanish his goblet.
A nudge in his side drew his attention to Lily, who cast a disdainful look towards James before turning her attention onto Harry. "That Potter! I don't know", she said, shaking her head. "He's incredibly gifted at Transfiguration, Black too, but all they seem to do is show off in lessons, eventually distracting everyone from their work" she complained.
"I doubt they're really that bad. Perhaps you just need to get to know them better" suggested Harry, feeling pained at the dislike that coloured Lily's tone.
"Just you wait and see. I'm sure you'll find out for yourself", she warned.
Harry decided there and then that he would do everything he could to at least make Lily like James. 'After all' he rationalised, 'I'm not actually going to change anything that hasn't already happened, so it doesn't matter all that much. I'm just going to make Lily see James' better characteristics while at the same time make James more likeable, I guess. No problem … none at all'.
"How are you doing with the review?" he asked after deciding to take the conversation back to safer grounds.
"Not bad, but not well either. Transfiguration isn't really my strongest subject" confessed Lily in an undertone. "I managed to vanish the goblet and I have a vase … well it could pass as a vase I guess" she said, motioning to an object on the desk. To Harry's surprise and amusement, he realised that Lily had attempted to transfigure the quill into a ceramic vase. It was a perfectly fine vase, as long as you didn't intend to put anything larger than a single flower in it. Harry snickered before remembering his own half-finished attempt.
"At least yours doesn't have feathers sticking out of it!" assured Harry. "Mine's stuck at the moment and I don't have a clue what to do" he moaned.
Lily looked over and at once recognised what he had been talking about. Harry closed his eyes in shame as Lily began to giggle. "Oh Harry! Sorry, I don't mean to, but look at it. It looks so cute!" she said between her giggles. Harry blushed, but nevertheless smiled back at his teenage mother.
"Humph! At least my kitten is in a better state than yours!" he gloated.
Lily looked down at her kitten, well mouse-kitten hybrid. The kitten still had the ears and tail of a mouse. The poor thing looked rather pitiable. "That's true I suppose" she conceded.
Harry turned back to his sorry excuse for a vase. He cast another spell that increased the length of the vase, but did not manage to get rid of the feathers. Harry let out a silent groan. 'Where was Hermione when you need her!' Harry poked at the feathers with his wand several times but he was disappointed when nothing happened. Harry stared at his vase, wondering 'if I stared at it long enough would the feathers suddenly disappear' when he felt a tingling at the base of his neck. Glancing around the room, he noticed that Sirius was staring at him.
"Hey" he said softy, so not to distract Lily or anyone else from their work. "I guess you've finished the review as well?"
"Yeah" replied Sirius just as quietly. "Just after James. I like what you've done" he commented with a small grin.
"Ah yes, the feather thing. I can't seem to get rid of them!" Harry complained. "Transfiguration isn't really my strongest subject as you can probably tell".
"I wouldn't say you're bad at it though" reassured Sirius. "After all you managed to do the other two haven't you?"
"I suppose" Harry admitted.
"Well then!" admonished Sirius. "Don't worry too much about it. Besides, if you're stuck or don't understand something you can come and ask me, I won't bite!" he offered with a wicked smile. Sirius moved his gaze to the vase for a moment before catching Harry's emerald eyes again. "Perhaps you should try a sticking charm on the sides?" he suggested. "Make it look as if you intended to decorate the vase with feathers".
Harry looked at the vase, wondering if the idea would work. Flicking his wand while muttering the incantation for a sticking charm, he saw to his astonishment, the feathers had been glued to the side of his vase. Although not considered pretty by any means, Harry now had a usable vase. With a grateful smile, he thanked Sirius for his help before attempting to get Professor McGonagall's attention so he could inform her he had completed the review work.
**********
"Now in these dark times, I see that all of you have decided to continue with NEWT level Defence Against the Dark Arts. This subject will not only prepare you for the exams in two years time, but may in fact save your life" began Professor Steelfield in a clear strong voice. "I will not tolerate any misbehaviour in this class as we will be working with spells and creatures that could kill you! Now the way that I have planned most lessons will be using the double period lessons for practical work, spells, defences and perhaps even duels, while the single period lessons will be more inclined towards theory" she explained to the silent Sixth Years. Then she quickly went through several key areas they would be covering that year.
As Harry walked with Remus to the Defence classroom, the amber-eyed boy explained that Steelfield was the Head of House for Slytherin. Immediately Harry had voiced his fear that the Professor would favour the Slytherin students above the others in the class, but had been reassured that Steelfield was a fair teacher. As Harry had sat down between James and Remus, he discretely examined his latest in a long line of DADA teachers. According to Remus Steelfield had been teaching at Hogwarts for almost a decade. She was a stern looking lady, whose light brown hair was streaked with grey. Her stone-grey eyes were sharp and Harry suspected they missed very little.
"Today, we'll be looking at Dementors. As you should all know these creatures have recently joined You-Know-Who. We'll be discussing what these creatures are today and then later this term you will attempt to learn how to protect yourselves from their effects" lectured Steelfield.
Harry shivered in his seat. The Dementors had joined Voldemort. Harry was glad that Sirius was not in his direct line of sight as he brooded. He listened as Steelfield questioned several students about their knowledge regarding the Dementors.
One of the students she called upon was Remus, whose answer was vaguely reminiscent of what he had told Harry in his Third Year. "Dementors are one of the most disgusting creatures on this planet. They are likely to be found in dark dirty places and although Muggles can't see them, they can still feel their effects" he answered.
Harry looked down at the notes he had made in the lesson, realising that he knew most of the information already. They had just finished discussing likely places where Dementors could be found when Professor Steelfield asked the students "Can anyone here describe what effects the Dementors can cause?"
Noticing the lack of hands, Harry reluctantly raised his own. "Yes … ah, Mr Granger. Could you enlighten the class?"
Harry sombre green eyes became fixed on a point beyond the blackboard. In a dulled tone of voice, he began to explain. "Dementors … they drain all the good things from you. All the peace, happiness … hope. When they approach, you, you … it's like everything disappears. You're surrounded by darkness, as if anything that gives out light has been leeched away. It's like being in some kind of void, no light, no sound, nothing" Harry said, a shiver running down his spine as he remembered being trapped with Dudley in that alley with two Dementors the summer before last.
"The darkness, it's so thick and cold, like ice. It's not just a change in temperature, it's as if your very heart is being frozen, it's… it's horrible. Everywhere, inside and out. You can't escape. They're foul creatures. They don't have eyes you know" he continued as he became lost in his memories. "Just this disgusting scabbed grey skin that's stretched over where the eyes should be. Their mouths, well, it's more of a hole and the air around them is … putrid. When … if they get too close to you, it's like all your senses are dulled. All your worst memories … you can hear things, the worst things that happened in your life. You relive them again and again, until you collapse that is. You're cut off from the rest of the world. This … this white fog surrounds you, you hear, hear…"
Harry trailed off. He did not see the shocked looks of the students in the class, nor did he notice that he was the sole focus of their attentions. So lost was he in his memories. He could feel his father next to him moving in his seat, but at the same time, Harry was also hearing his last words before his death. Realising that he had lapsed into silence, he refocused his eyes on Professor Steelfield and gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "They are really foul creatures and I'd suggest that if you can help it, you would avoid them at all costs".
Harry watched, still slightly detached, as Steelfield shook off her shock and briskly carried on with the lesson. She explained how to counter and defend against the effects of the Dementors and talking about their final weapon, the Kiss. For the rest of the lesson, Harry ignored the curious looks he received from the Marauders as well as those from several other students, including Lily. When the bell finally rang to signal the end of the lesson, Harry shot out of the room, not wanting to talk about what he had said.
Unfortunately, Harry's luck had run out. He had barely got to the end of the corridor when Remus, Sirius, and James caught up with him, Peter a short distance behind. "Hey Harry!" James called out, his hazel eyes filled with curiosity. "How did you know all that stuff?"
"What you described, it isn't in any of the books I've read" Remus stated as he adjusted his grip on his bag.
"It was like … like you've actually met Dementors" Sirius said thoughtfully, concern marring his handsome face. "That's how you knew everything".
Harry didn't know what to do. He was surrounded and he could feel the first tinges of panic on the edge of his mind. Thoughts about the future, his experiences, and the present swirled around. James, whose voice he heard when the Dementors got too close. Sirius, who had been wrongly imprisoned in Azkaban for 12 years and had nearly been Kissed. There was Remus, who had spent months teaching him how to defend himself against the effects of the Dementors. Finally, there was Peter, the reason why he relived the murder of his parents.
Harry's panicked green eyes met those of Sirius. However, it was at that moment Harry recalled one of his dreams from the previous night, the one where Sirius fell into the Veil at the Department of Mysteries. Tearing his eyes away, he turned to look at Remus. Those steady amber eyes that were currently filled with concern. However, this wasn't his Remus Harry realised, the Remus that he had confided in was 20 years away. Perhaps for the first time since Harry had arrived, he truly realised that he was alone.
He did something that went against everything he was, against everything that was Gryffindor. He ran. He missed the bewildered looks on the four boys' faces, nor the quick intense conversation they had between themselves.
He ran, his feet leading him towards the Quidditch pitch. Harry did not stop running until he reached the stands. He shrugged off his bag and dropped to the ground, drawing his knees up before leaning forwards, his forehead resting in the crook of his arms.
Harry had not been sitting long when he heard footsteps slowly approaching the Quidditch stand. Lifting his head slightly he noticed that it was Remus who had followed him. Harry watched as the werewolf gracefully sat down next to him before returning his gaze to the floor. He could feel those amber eyes burning a hole into him and reluctantly, Harry raised his own sad green eyes to meet them. Attempting to reassure Remus, he forced a small smile and explained, "I'm okay now. It's just got a bit intense back there".
"Are you sure?" asked Remus, a hint of worry lacing his voice.
"I think so" replied Harry in a soft voice. He let out a small bitter laugh, "I bet they're all talking about how the new kid can't cope".
"I doubt it, but so what? I don't, and I know James, Sirius, and Peter don't either. I admit I don't know you at all well, but I get this feeling that you're a lot stronger than you look".
"Still the Slytherins will have a field day with this" groaned Harry.
"Well then, they're idiots. You … it sounded like you knew what you were talking about in Defence. About the Dementors, I mean. I've read about them, but what you described, that's never been documented so I can only presume it's first hand knowledge" Remus mused. "If people think you're weak because of that, just ignore them. You know better. Sometimes its better to grow a thick skin and ignore all the bad things people say about you…"
Harry got the feeling that Remus wasn't referring to him anymore, but about people's opinion regarding werewolves. He remained silent until Remus spoke up again. "I can't expect, after all you barely know me" he said, not realising the irony of the statement "but if you want to talk about what happened just now. It might make you feel better?"
Harry sighed. He wanted to talk about what had happened, to share the burden with someone. However, his common sense told him that he couldn't, that he had to keep the events of the future secret. Nor did he like having to lie to Remus. Eventually Harry compromised. "If I'm too close to Dementors, I hear my parent's being murdered. It's my only memory of them as well, so as you can tell, it's not really a pleasant experience for me" he explained.
Remus could not say anything in response for several moments, but instead placed his hand on Harry's shoulder as a sign of support. Finally, he managed to say, "I'm so sorry Harry. That must be terrible. I can't imagine what you must feel".
"I just hope that no one will have to go through what happened to me, but unfortunately I doubt my wish will come true. Not with everything as it is", said Harry with closed eyes.
"I guess so" Remus sighed, his light brown hair falling into his eyes as he tilted his head back to look at the blue sky. "To a certain extent we're shielded here at Hogwarts. The killing, disappearances, it's out there", he said waving his hand absently. "The only times we know what's going on is if it's in the paper or someone gets a letter … well you can guess. After all, everyone says that the Dark Lord won't come here. That he's too afraid of Dumbledore. We're safe here, but the problem with that is you can forget about the people who aren't here…"
"Merlin! Remus, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to inflict my depressed mood on you" Harry apologised.
"Don't worry. Sometimes we all need a bit of help"
**********
Remus sat down with his friends at the Gryffindor table for dinner. Normally, dinner was a noisy affair, but this time the four friends were quieter than normal. Harry had not come down to dinner. At some point in-between Charms and walking into the Great Hall, the Marauders had lost the quiet green-eyed teenager. A question hung in Remus' mind. 'Just how did Harry manage to give us the slip, especially since he can't possibly know his way around Hogwarts yet' but it was pushed aside when James asked him about Harry's behaviour after their DADA lesson.
After their little talk, Harry and Remus had hurried back into the castle to their Charms lesson. Luckily, Sirius had grabbed a couple of sandwiches for the two teenagers so they did not have to suffer the double lesson in hunger. Remus had noticed James sending him several curious glances but he had shaken his head, indicating that he would explain later. Instead, the Sixth Year class settled down into a review of the previous years' work with Professor Flitwick. As usual, Lily Evans had breezed through the class surpassing all the other students in the class, much to the dismay of several Slytherins also in the class.
Remus had kept an eye on Harry though out Charms but did not notice any unusual behaviour, not that he knew what Harry's usual behaviour would be like, Remus reminded himself. Instead, Harry had kept quiet, concentrating on the work assigned and not talking to anyone in the class. Absentmindedly Remus had noticed that Harry's charm work, while not on the same level as Lily, was by no means unimpressive either. All in all, Harry was proving to be a very interesting young man.
Over the course of the dinner, Remus explained to his three friends what Harry and Remus had discussed earlier that day. The three boys had been shocked at the revelation that Harry heard the murder of his parents when he was confronted by Dementors. The three friends were prepared to offer their sympathy to Harry, but Remus told them that perhaps it would be better not to mention the fact they knew what had happened, but instead allow him to confide in them. After all, they did not know how Harry would react to everyone knowing what he suffers from when under the Dementor's effects.
It was several minutes later when their Head of House, Professor McGonagall, approached the Gryffindor table. She questioned Remus regarding the whereabouts of Harry, to which the four boys recounted an abbreviated version of their DADA lesson, leaving out the talk Remus and Harry had during lunch. Much to the Marauders surprise, after listening to their explanation, McGonagall asked them to take some food for Harry. She also asked them to remind Harry that he was more than welcome to talk to the Headmaster if he was having any troubles.
Four extremely curious boys made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. As they navigated the many staircases and corridors, they discussed the possible reasons why McGonagall and in particular Dumbledore were so interested in the new student. They found Harry in their dorm and upon questioning him, found out that he had been out flying to clear his head. Remus, distracting James from his musings, informed the green-eyed boy regarding the conversation they had with their Transfiguration teacher at dinner.
Remus noted that Harry seemed embarrassed by the attention he received, most likely due to his recent behaviour, and so Remus told the others that perhaps they should get on with doing their assigned homework. It seemed to divert the attention away from Harry, which had been Remus' intention. James and Sirius had moaned a great deal, making several jokes regarding 'Perfect Prefect Remus' which he brushed aside, but eventually the five boys settled down either doing their homework or in James and Sirius' case, planning some joke or another on an unsuspecting target.
**********
Harry sat in the little niche, looking out of the window at the empty Hogwarts grounds. He sighed as he remembered that he should be sleeping, like the rest of his dorm, but that was the problem. It felt so weird; his dad and mom … Sirius … they were alive. 'Alive and sixteen' he reminded himself. 'Why does it always happen to me?' he asked himself. 'Do I have perpetual victim tattooed on my head? Oh yeah, I forgot, I do!'
The silver light from the moon filtered in through the large open window. Luckily, the night was warm therefore, the temperature in the circular room did not drop significantly. Harry's keen eyes picked out something approaching … Hedwig! 'She must have been out hunting'. In all the confusion and excitement of the day, Harry had completely forgotten about his owl. He waited as she approached the open window and sat herself down on his knee. He stroked her white feathers as he thought about the situation he had literally dropped into.
Harry wondered what everyone would be thinking back in his own time, or would they actually miss him. 'Time travel seemed to be extremely complicated' thought Harry. He vaguely remembered something about cause and effect from one of Dudley's TV shows. 'The Grandfather Paradox, or in his case the Father Paradox. If he did something, would it change the future? Would it be a big change or something small? What if he didn't mean to do anything, but an accident meant that he inadvertently changed time. Would he be in trouble if he did? Merlin! How would anyone know he changed time? This is ridiculous!'
Harry's thoughts drifted as he petted Hedwig, his green eyes unfocused. 'Poor Remus, he's lost all the Marauders, after all Wormtail doesn't count anymore. That's another thing. Not that I've been spending any time with him, or that I really want to, but Peter isn't like Wormtail. Admittedly, I don't know him that well yet and honestly I don't think I want to, especially considering that he betrayed everyone, but I can't see Wormtail in him yet. I wonder what happened to make him so evil
'I wonder how Ron and Hermione are doing. Do they know what happened, how I got here? I wonder if they'll miss me, after all, ever since Sirius died I haven't really been that good a friend. I hope they don't worry too much, I'll make it up to them when I get back, I promise. I bet the Dursleys will be happy enough to hear that I've disappeared, but then so will Voldemort. Merlin! That's not going to be fun. If he hears about me disappearing, which he will because Malfoy was there … but he doesn't know about the Prophesy though. He might step up the attacks and killings, if he wasn't going to do so anyway. Then again, would he know, would Dumbledore and the Order? Maybe they won't realise that I'm missing because I get sent back to almost the same time as when I disappeared or … oh this is stupid!
'Come on Harry, get a grip! You can't worry about what's going on in your own time since you're not there and you definitely don't understand time travel well enough to figure it out. What happens will happen and you've got to accept it and face it when it does. If they know, they know. I'm sure the Order and now the Ministry will try to stop the Death Eaters, at least until I get back. It can't be that bad, right? Hermione and Ron will be busy with school and Quidditch. Remus isn't totally alone. After all, my big Sis is there! Tonks promised me she'd look after Remus and I know she will. As for me? Stop all this moping around! You're here now and you can't do a damn thing about it, just take advantage of the opportunity you've been given. Get to know James and Lily, Sirius and Remus and well Peter … let's hope I don't hex him something bad. That could be interesting to explain!'
"It'll be all right won't it Hedwig?" he asked in a soft whisper.
The snowy owl looked back at him for several seconds before hooting quietly and nipping the finger that was petting her, as if to reassure him. Harry smiled at the owl, glad that he had a friend, someone familiar, with him in this time.
In his occupied state, he did not notice the light footsteps approaching him as he sat in front of the window. Nor did he hear the quiet gasp from the approaching person. Harry was oblivious to the fact that the silver light that shone through the window highlighted his pale skin and glinted off his unruly black hair, making it seem to the outside observer as if he had silver highlights. The moonlight reflected off his emerald eyes and the snowy owl just added to the glow emanating from the silent teenager.
Harry was brought out of his musings by a soft touch on his arm. He looked up with wide eyes at Sirius, who was in turn looking at him with a concerned expression on his handsome face. Harry took a few seconds to compose himself since the urge to warn Sirius about the future had reared up when he had seen Sirius standing before him. With an apologetic smile, Harry apologised to the taller boy, "I'm sorry I woke you up, I didn't mean to. I just thought some fresh air would help me get back to sleep".
Sirius smiled down at him, an indecipherable look in his sapphire eyes. "It's okay, I got up to go to the bathroom and saw you sitting here. Thought I'd check to see if you were okay? Not too homesick or anything?"
"I was just thinking about some people I left behind, wondering if they'd miss me. They're some pretty special people you see, helped me through some really bad times, especially this past summer" replied Harry in a soft voice.
"I understand. My summer wasn't the greatest either. Luckily, I've got some great friends, especially James. I'm sure your friends miss you too", said Sirius. He paused for a moment in which both boys privately recalled their individual summers before changing the subject, "Is that your owl?"
Harry's face lit up. "Yes, this is Hedwig. I've had ever since I was eleven, when I first found out that I was a wizard. She was my first present and she's been with me through thick and thin". Hedwig hooted in agreement and preened as Sirius stroked her feathers.
"You know, I can't actually believe I'm saying this, but we should try and get some sleep. We have classes tomorrow or later today, I should say. Don't tell Remus though. He'll send me off to see Pomfrey!" murmured Sirius with a small chuckle. "Luckily we can sleep in a bit longer than usual this morning".
Harry agreed and with a few whispered words to Hedwig he stepped down from the window ledge and made his way back to his bed. He heard a whispered "Good night" and returned the courtesy before climbing into bed. It was not until he was at the threshold of sleep when he realised that Sirius had gone straight to bed.
**********
When Harry finally woke up the next morning, he found that Pettigrew had already left for his Herbology lesson. He spent the morning in the library researching several potions and the variations in their effectiveness when substituting particular ingredients. The afternoon lesson was Care of Magical Creatures. Although Harry had known not to expect Hagrid to be conducting the lesson, he was still surprised to see Professor Kettleburn. Therefore, Tuesday's lessons passed by quite quickly and with relatively less trouble than the day before.
That evening found Harry and Lily sat at one of the table in the Gryffindor Common room. Lily had approached Harry earlier that day, suggesting that they might do their Transfiguration homework together.
"So what about the Switching spell? I can do it some of the time, but I don't think I quite understand the formula behind it" asked Lily frowning at her notes.
Harry smiled as he remembered Neville's attempts at that type of spell. "I'm not sure, have you copied the formula down correctly?" he replied.
"Of course I did!" Lily said in an indignant tone.
"Let's have a look then … ah! You've mixed up Steps 2 and 3. That might be why" replied Harry somewhat smugly. Harry was glad of the little pep-talk that he had with himself in the early hours of the morning and was determined to enjoy what time he had with his parents and their friends.
Lily raised an eyebrow at Harry. "What! Hey, you never know. You might have written it down wrong!" she said challengingly.
"No I didn't Lily", said Harry, a small smirk teasing his lips. "Got it straight out of the book. Wait here … there it is", he said, showing her the relevant section in his coursebook. "You probably remember it as one thing and wrote it down as another, which is why you only manage it successfully some of the time" he explained.
"Okay, I admit it. Sorry Harry" apologised Lily.
"No problem" Harry answered. "It's not like I'm any better at this than you are. James and Sirius, well they're another matter. I can't describe how good they are at this sort of stuff".
"Oh no! Please tell me you're not joining the Potter and Black bandwagon!" cried Lily. "I'll never be able to speak to you again, not civilly at least!"
"They seem like alright people so far. What's so wrong with them?" asked Harry, curious as to what Lily thought of her future husband. He remembered that scene from Snape's pensive and how Lily had hated James. 'Maybe if I can find out why she doesn't like him, I can change it so she does'
"Those two are … I don't think there are words to describe them. Arrogant jerks I suppose, pig-headed enough to think that they can do what they like to whomever they like" she replied, her face turning a light pink from anger. "They think they're so great and those so called pranks. Urghh! I can't stand them!"
"Isn't that being a little bit harsh?" murmured Harry, not wanting to anger Lily but still curious.
"I feel incredibly sorry for you, having to share a dorm with them. Merlin knows that I'd kill Potter if I had to spend longer than an hour in his company" retorted Lily.
Harry had to duck under the table, pretending he had dropped his quill, in order to hide the amused look on his face. With a more composed expression, he returned to his seat. "Maybe you just haven't got to know him that well? He could actually be a really nice person?"
"You keep your illusions Harry and I'll stick to the facts" stated Lily before returning their attention back to the Switching Spells they had been discussing.
It was not long after that conversation when Lily left the Common room after completing their homework for the next day. Harry was gathering his books when he noticed that Pettigrew looked to be approaching the table where he had been sat. Stilling his movements, he waited for the smaller boy to arrive and he was not disappointed. He resisted the sudden urge to curse Pettigrew, instead waiting for the boy to speak through slightly narrowed green eyes.
"Y- You should know, Lily Evans there … she's not available" he stuttered.
"So what" sneered Harry. "I don't care, but it's not as if she's going out with anyone at the moment anyway".
"James won't be happy at all if you try to move in on her", he said in reply.
"Look Pettigrew. I'm not, and never will be, interested in going out with Lily. I don't like her in that way" stated Harry. 'Not to mention that it would be wrong on so many levels!' he privately thought. 'For goodness sakes', she's my mother. Oh yeah, I can't tell the rat that. By the way, I'm from the future and you're suggesting that I'm interested in dating my mother! Definitely … not!'
"Lo- look Harry" started Pettigrew, his watery eyes darting around the room, looking for someone. "I'm just warning you. James can get a bit … jealous. You don't want to annoy him, and Evans is one way to do that".
"Well you can stop worrying about that then can't you" snarled Harry, rapidly losing his patience with Pettigrew. "I already told you I'm not interesting in dating her". With a quick look to check that he had not left anything behind, he grabbed his homework and stalked off towards the staircase that led upto the dorms before he lost his temper and said something that he shouldn't.
Pettigrew watched Harry storm out of the Common Room. He wondered about the strange new boy. 'There's something strange about him' he thought. 'I don't know what but I don't like it. He says he doesn't like Evans but I just don't believe him. I better not tell James though, at least not yet, not without proof. I'll keep an eye on that Harry Granger. If he comes onto Evans or does anything strange then I'll tell James. He'll be really pleased with me I bet'. It was with a strange smile gracing his lips that Pettigrew returned to the shadowy corner where he had been watching Harry and Lily earlier as he made up his Divination homework.
**********
Notes:
Sorry guys for making you wait an absolute age but real life intruded and then I wrote a one-off (I hope but ping*pong5 gave me an idea) piece of fiction called Expelled. Please, pretty please, with a strawberry on top, read it and leave a review.
This is only the first part of this chapter, but the file was huge and quite bulky and it was just not happening. I will finish editing the second part in the next day or so and post it before Sunday, so not so long to wait! I feel so bad not updating sooner but Chapter 5 in total is over 1500 words! Forgive me? Responses to reviews for the last chapter will be posted at the end of Part 2.
I apologise in advance for any mistakes, spelling, grammatical or otherwise. It is all my fault since this is unbeta'd. Please review (long is good!) and send any helpful comments, all will be appreciated. Any flames, however, will be, in all honesty, read then disregarded. Thank you for reading!
SStar