Like each morning in Ferelden, it dawned bright, early, and miserable in Alistair's discerning opinion. Several days had passed since his and Shepards little chat by the creek. Days of walking, darkspawn, and ugh, more walking. Squinting dejectedly at the sun he adjusted his pack with a faint grunt. Another side effect of his chat with Shepard? He'd lost all ability to sleep. Tiredly he rubbed his eyes, willing them to stay open with nothing but the force of his own will.

As if the endless dreams of the archdemon hadn't been bad enough but now the idea of an entire universe beyond his comprehension had sent him into an existential spiral. He and Shepard had started a sort of nightly ritual, if three days could really be called a ritual? Maybe just a friendly routine? " Annoyed at his own thoughts he huffed. In either case, each evening they would go for a walk after dinner and she would tell him more and more about her strange, and frankly utterly terrifying world. His brain would always keep buzzing for hours after. If aliens existed, did the Maker make them too? If He didn't, what did that mean? Did the Fade exist for everyone or just on Thedas? What was beyond the edge of the universe? Who created it? Feeling the familiar dread kreep up his belly he closed his eyes desperately.

"Hey, Alistair! You okay?" Startled, he turned to meet Shepards concerned gaze. Some of his panic must have displayed on his face as she quickly reached out to touch his pauldron. "Seemed pretty lost in thought there."

Immediately he looked away, his cheeks heating. Why was he freaking out about all this anyway?! How embarrassing! "Yup! All fine here! This walk is so lovely this morning, isn't it? Very…." he paused, glancing around the dirt road and endless mud. "brown…"

Shepard quirked a brow in silent reply.

Mentallly he slapped himself, rolling his shoulders beneath the weight of his armor and shield. Andraste save him, he was sweating through his padded tunic, could this get any worse? "Just thinking about Grey Warden stuff! You know how it is." Painfully, he affected a smile, discreetly wiping the sweat from his brow as best he could.

Oblivious to his inner turmoil Shepard relented, patting his arm between his armored plates lightly with a nod. At the contact he nearly jumped out of his skin, butterflies erupting in his belly. What in the Makers name was that? Wide eyed he met Shephard's gaze in alarm. Suddenly sweating even more and acutely aware that his cheeks were turning an awful shade of red, Alistair cleared his throat. Desperately, he searched for something to say, anything to distract himself and hopefully her from his odd behavior, but Shepard had already pushed on ahead, striding to catch Zevrans attention and strike up a conversation.

Oddly put out at how little she had pushed, he closed his mouth with a faint snap. Suppose that's what I get for always deflecting.he thought, morose. Raising a hand to his racing heart, he watched her stride in front of him and allowed a soft huff of air to hiss past his teeth. One girl was nice to him and suddenly he was tripping over his feet? Maker's breath but maybe he was as pathetic as Aiden said.

Existential crisis now traded for a personal one he briefly scrubbed his hands across his face. He needed a distraction, and he needed one now. Catching the mabari's eye, he was more than grateful when the massive hound immediately trotted into petting distance. Relaxing under the repetitive gesture he turned his gaze outward. Dogs really did make everything better, didn't they? "Aiden doesn't deserve you, Ham."

The mabari simply let his tongue loll in a doggy smile, nudging his head more firmly under Alistair's palm.

Ahead, Zevran and Leliana flitted around Shepard like a pair of brightly colored birds, all suave charm and oozing good looks. Why couldn't Alistair ooze like that? Or at all, in a way that wasn't like the damp currently creeping into his boots? He narrowed his eyes at the both of them, watching grumpily as the assassin brushed his hands across her shoulder guards and Leliana touched her waist. Why was she talking with them anyway? It's not as if the rogues had anything important to say. The two had apparently made it their mission to figure out if Shepard was either a charlatan, or, in the case of Leliana, the Makers bride. And hadn't that persistent, niggling idea made camp so awkward at night?

Ignoring his own brain Alistair turned to watch the approaching crossroads, stomach knotting with nerves as the sign for Redcliffe slid into view. All thoughts of Shepard and sneaky rogues were shoved to the side. Alistair girded his courage, shifting the weight of his armor and moved to pull abreast of Aiden. Come on he cajoled mentally, just ask him. Sucking in a deep breath he tapped his fellow warden's arm gently. "Aiden, can we pause for a moment?"

"Tired Alistair?"

He fought a scowl and dragged his feet, forcing the other warden to stop with him. The dismissive tone grated on his nerves in a way that made his teeth clench. "No but I have a… concern."

Aiden glowered, finally deigning to meet the warrior's gaze before turning disinterestedly back to the road. "We're not stopping at Redcliffe."

Startled, Alistair stepped into his fellow warden's space. "What? Why not? Aiden, it's right down the road here! We already passed one of the turns before! We could rent a boat here." He gestured to the sign up ahead, ignoring the nervous look Leliana shot at him. "We just pop in, see the Arl, secure aid and poof! We're off again to the Circle tower, none the worse for wear."

"No."

"No?"

"No." The other warden intoned, icy eyes assessing Alistair's evenly. "We know the Circle tower is experiencing complications…"

Cutting across Aiden he gestured fruitlessly at the sign. "But so is Redcliffe! You heard the knight at the chantry in Lothering!" Around him the rest of the group drew to a halt, watching the two wardens with mounting concern.

"The life of one nobleman and his army is not equal to the support of the mages."

"That would be different though if it was your brother, right? Then suddenly it would matter?" Immediately Alistair felt

Rage flickered briefly across the other man's face before he responded with gritted teeth. "No, it wouldn't." Reaching out Aiden pointed to the crossroads. "The Arl is sick, and unless you are secretly a healer they will have no use for us there, whereas the Circle seems like something we can actually solve. Unlike you, I actually want to do my duty to the Blight. We continue." He pushed past Alistair angrily, back rigid and tense.

Feeling small and chastised, Alistair stood before the sign, guilt settling high in his chest. Aiden had been frantic about the location of his brother since Ostagar and bringing him up now had been incredibly petty. Pressing his hands to his face he breathed deeply.

"He really is just doing his best, Alistair." This from Leliana as she hurried to match the other warden's stride. Ashamed he dropped his head at her kind words. Around him the rest of the party started walking again, shooting him various looks of disapproval.

"What was that about?"

Alistair jerked from his reverie, glancing down to find Shepard quietly standing beside him. He hadn't even heard her approach. "Nothing. Just a little warden spat." Viciously he swallowed back his embarrassment, forcing a smile for the woman standing next to him. Who was he to complain right? Alistair, who hadn't wanted to lead. Alistair, who had never been good for anything except for the blood running through his veins. Alistair, who hadn't been a good Templar and hadn't seemed to have made a better Grey Warden. Duncan would be so disappointed in him. Turning, he focused on Shepard. "Come to regale me with more of your strange stories? The others too boring for you?" Please don't ask me about it, he mentally begged. He felt like one more word and he would shatter into a million pieces.

She assessed him for a moment before quirking her lips into a smirk. "Zevran and Leliana?" She shrugged. "Elves don't exist except in books where I come from. Besides, you're the only person who seems willing to actually talk to me without some weird ulterior motive." Leaning towards him she whispered, "I could practically feel Leliana writing some ballad, and Zevran? Definitely wants to see what's under this armor." She leaned back, holding her chin in mock contemplation. "Though I'm pretty sure it's because he wants to figure out how it works."

Alistair coughed, blushing at her blunt statement. "On to them both are you? Should I have a chat with him specifically?"

Shepard laughed walking forward, gently coaxing him to follow with her smile. "I can take care of myself, don't worry." As he followed, she watched him closely, eyes serious. "But you know, if you ever want to have a chat…" Her eyes flicked to Aiden far ahead on the road. "I won't judge."

Something in his chest eased at her words, worries and half formed thoughts rushing to clog his throat. Maybe she would understand? Maybe she could help convince Aiden? A new image popped into his head, Shepard, disappointed and patting him pityingly on the head. Immediately choking down his words, he smiled at her instead. "I'll keep that in mind."

Nodding she reached up, flicking her hair back behind her ear. They silently strode along the highway together, catching up with the others at the next bend in the road. When his armored hand accidentally brushed against hers he nearly jumped out of his skin, flushing at the contact. Next to him she laughed before turning to face him fully. "Did I ever tell you about the time I had to go undercover to seduce a murderer?"

Alistair blinked. "Um, no. Can't say that you did."

Shepard grinned. "Well you see, one of my crew members named Samara had a daughter…"

It wasn't until much later in the night, as they stopped to set up camp that Shepard drew her wild story to a close. "And that's how I almost died."

Alistair gaped at her, the arguments of earlier completely forgotten in favor of parsing out the story Shepard had presented him. "So wait, are you telling me she tried t- to mind, do you?" At her nod he rocked back on his heels, blowing out an incredulous breath. "That sounds crazy."

"And marvelous." Zevran said, appearing from behind them with a grin. "This asari sounds like a woman I should very much like to meet."

Shepard snorted. "I'm not sure if you'd still be walking around if you had, Zevran."

"I do like to live dangerously."

"Oh the horror." Alistair rebutted lightly, rolling his eyes at the assassin. "Don't you have some other Grey Warden to go bug?" With a shooing motion he ushered him away. "Go talk to Morrigan if you like danger so much. I'm sure she would appreciate your… charm."

"How you wound me. Sending me right into the arms of our dark enchantress with nary a thought to my survival?" He tsked mockingly before bowing to the two of them. "I shall leave you alone, yes? I can see when I am not wanted." Winking, he strolled away, making a beeline for Morrigan hovering next to the campfire.

In the silence following the Antivans departure Alistair fidgeted. All day he had felt off balance and unsure. Especially concerning Shepard. He flicked his eyes over to her dejectedly as she patted his arm, walking over to Bohdan to retrieve both their tents.

Watching her chat with the dwarves, he let out a soft breath. She was beautiful, wasn't she? The thought was idle but it struck him like a slap, burrowing firmly into his brain to loop in dizzying circles. Panicked he physically reared back, jerking his head away. He hadn't meant to think that! Had he? She just had a sort of… quiet about her. His breath caught in his throat, panic seizing his gut. What in the Makers name was wrong with him?

"Alistair?" He blinked, face heating as Leliana paused next to him. "Are you okay? You've been so flushed all day. Not to mention what happened with Aiden."

"I'm fine! R-really! Just, you know… all the armor." Mentally cursing himself he coughed into his hand covering his embarrassment with a rough exhale.

Leliana's smile suddenly turned sly. "Are you sure it's just the heat?" She flicked her gaze to Shepard who was now making her way back to them. "You two have become quite good friends, no? And in such a short amount of time."

Caught out he spluttered in denial, frantically slipping through hundreds of different responses. Finally, he simply turned his head away from the bard in embarrassment. "Is it so wrong to have a friend?"

Leliana shook her head, lips turning down sadly. "No Alistair, a friend is not such a bad thing, but you should be careful." Catching his gaze steadily, she tilted her head towards the other woman. "We don't know a thing about her, not really, and people with stories like that? Well… you can't be too cautious, yes? I can tell when someone is running from something."

"You think Shepard is running?" he asked, a new dread creeping along his stomach.

The bard shot him an incredulous look. "And you don't? You cannot tell me you haven't seen how she avoids certain topics? Her stories always have holes in them."

Alistair's mouth compressed faintly in annoyance. "Because you're an open book, right?"

"As open as you are."

He flinched at the subtle reprimand and nodded. "Right, of course. But she is the only one we have to be worried about, right? Not you, or Zevran or Sten?" Stepping back he turned to meet Shepard as she approached, tent in hand.

"Just be careful who you place your trust in Alistair." Leliana told him. "You have a kind heart, it would be too easy for someone to take advantage of it."

At his scowl Leliana simply sighed, striding quickly away with a brief wave at the approaching commander.

What was today? Yell at Alistair day? Feeling off balance and thoroughly put out, he met Shepards curious expression with a forced smile. Gesturing to her hands he asked, "Care for some help setting up your tent?"

Shepard frowned and instead gestured to the retreating bard. "Want to tell me what was up with Leliana first? You look like you ate more of Stens stew."

Crossing his arms he affected an indifferent air. "Nope."

"Really?"

At his nod she blew out a breath. "Right. In that case, yes." She glanced down at the mangled fabric with a faint sigh. "If you can call these flimsy things tents." Lightly she bumped him with her elbow and gestured for him to walk ahead. "You should see the ones we had for the Alliance. Hard to take down as that shield on your back. How about we set this up and you tell me a bit about this Circle tower of yours instead, since the gossip is off the table? I'd like more intel if you have it."

"Ah yes, that. The Circle is quite the battlefield in terms of topics as you well know now. " She let out a faint huff and a nod in response as they walked towards the treeline. He hesitated and then cleared his throat. "Your star friends, do you think they're looking for you? Do you think they'll come?"

She shot him a faint frown before turning her gaze skyward. "It's possible they might think I died, though it wouldn't be the first time." At his confused expression she simply shook her head. "A story for another time. Anyway, it won't be Garrus or Miranda coming for me, it'll be the Alliance proper. My ship, Normandy, was on her way to get impounded."

"What for?"

His spine stiffened as Shepard's face carefully blanked. "Yet another story for another time."

"Of course." He agreed amicably, reaching out to pull her tent from her hands. Why couldn't anything ever be simple? Why did everyone have to have so many secrets? Was she really lying to them all? He coughed to hide his sudden onset of melancholy at the thought. "Well, let's see. The Circle, right? How to explain." Shifting to grab the rolled up fabric on the ground he smiled at her, forcing thoughts of her leaving and Leliana's warnings away. "It all started with the Tevinter Imperium more than a thousand years ago…"