DISCLAIMER: I don't own fma or any of the characters.
So Close Yet So Far Away
You're lying there. Eyelids hiding your mesmerizing black orbs from the outside world and me. You lie there unconscious in a hospital bed covered by sky blue cotton sheets that I made sure weren't scratchy because I know how you hate that.
It's funny how I know so much about you yet you know nothing about me. Another thing, the nurse who's taking care of you mistook me as your wife seeing as I knew some much about you. At first I was somewhat appalled at her assumption but then I sat and thought about it. I went over the woman's thought. Just because I know so much about you doesn't mean I'm…. your- uh…. 'significant' other does it? Okay so sure I know that you don't like tea without honey or that you prefer dogs over cats. Or that you can't stand those letters that you receive on Valentine's Day. Even though, to the rest of the unit, you say you love them. I can see through your lie.
You have just moaned out in your sleep. In pain or from a dream I don't know, though, I wish I did. Then, that way I could help. I feel so useless. I'm so used to being here by your side guarding you, now that you're like this I feel as if I can do nothing more. I was so stupid as to not be there when it happened, the accident. Just because I requested the day off to run some errands that just had to be the day that it rained. Furthermore, the day someone was in pursuit of attacking you.
Stop thinking about this! You're literally killing yourself! I repeat this in my head as I try to take even breaths. It then that a miracle happens. I hear your voice. Your masculine heart-melting voice. What's more is you say my name, my first name.
"Riza?" I blink twice. I haven't gotten much sleep so I wonder if I'm just hearing things, but I hear his voice again in that raspy tone.
"Riza?" I nearly choke. He sounds so broken, so vulnerable.
"Yes?" I manage to squeak out.
"I'm never letting you take another day off you hear me?" He whispered. I could tell it was merely a joke for the corners of his lip tugged upward in a smile. I couldn't return it though. My heart was so broken after watching this scene unfold before me. His breathing became irregular and he passed out. I had jumped to my feet leaning my upper body over the hospital bed, fearful he had died. When my eyes saw that his sheet-covered chest was rising and falling, I relaxed somewhat.
Hesitantly, I reseated myself in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed. For what must have been hours I sat patiently, staring at him. A small smile surfaced upon his face.
He must be having a good dream. I thought.
My hand found his and I held on to it for life. It was cold, almost as cold and lifeless as what my heart felt. I let my other hand trail its fingers across Roy's forehead, down his cheek to his jaw. Then I realized something. He's more open with his feelings than I am and ever will be. He's more willing to show his emotions while I, on the other hand, am always distance and keep everyone at arm's length. Whenever someone comes too close, I push them away.
It's funny really, I'm so close yet so far away.
Rizahawkeye21A/N: All right. One more rambling and UNNOTICED ends. Don't worry I won't stop writing anymore ROYAI ramblings. I'm gonna start a second part called USELESS, I think. What do you think? Oh and I will be making revisions to my previous ramblings so don't think I've added another chapter after 21. As usual, please review!