Chapter 26

Two hours later Harry lay in bed with wide eyes and tried to calm down his troubled thoughts but failed miserably. Sighing he turned around and remembered the events of the day and wondered why he had told Ginny their real names so willingly. He didn't even know if he could trust her. Had it been because he secretly wished that his real identity came to light? Did he want that everyone knew that he was Harry Potter? Quietly he whispered his name. It sounded so strange and somehow not right as well. Harry Potter, Harry Riddle, Harry Black. Who of this three was he? Pushing aside the blanket, he tugged at the curtains of the four-poster bed, climbed out and went to the window where he sat down on the window seat.

Ginny had surely related Hermione everything what he had told her by the lake and Hermione? Would everyone in the castle know their names soon? Why it had had to be Caro's father of all people who had murdered Hermione's father? Hardly had he asked himself this question, his thoughts wandered back to Caro. Though it wasn't any question for him whether he would help her or not, for him it was self-explaining, he nevertheless felt uneasy if he thought of the possible consequences. What would Caro do should she really find out who it had been and what he would do then?

He didn't even know how Caro wanted to discover the truth. Their branch had led them to a dead end but Draco's way led him to a small library and excitedly he had immediately called for them. One part of the books they found there, were even written in Parsel as Harry had awestruck realized. Fascinated he had looked around. Though his adoptive father also possessed books in Parsel, he hadn't nearly as many as in this little library in the Chamber of Secrets stood. Harry decided to return to the books as soon as possible.

They were now two weeks in Hogwarts and Harry knew that this place as well wasn't a right home for them. He hadn't missed the glances at all which some of the teachers and above all members of the Order of the Phoenix had given him if they had met him in the hallways, in the Great Hall or on the rambling grounds. Not all had

been happy over their arrival and Harry didn't doubt that the Order was in the picture about their real identities.

Yawning he slid off the window seat. He was feeling cold. Trembling he tiptoed to his bed, stumbled over a obstacle lying on the ground and bumped painfully against a hard object while something was loudly broken. Cursing he whispered a word and his magic flared up and he saw that he had fallen against the table and the water bottle had fallen down.

"It's all right. Sorry, for waking you up," he said while looking at Nell who stared sleepily at him with wide eyes.

Harry repaired the broken bottle and saw over to Draco, wondering why he hadn't also woken up by such a noise. The curtains were open and approaching, he realized that Draco wasn't in his bed at all. Blinking he stood there clueless for a moment. Had he been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed how Draco had left the room? Then he slipped into his shoes, put on his cloak and set off to search for Draco. Without exactly knowing where he should look for, he roamed through the deserted castle. In the great Hall Draco came towards him finally, surrounded by the gentle shining of his magical light.

"Where on earth were you?" Harry wanted to know.

"You said that the only thing we could do were to intercept the letters, didn't you?" Draco answered and waved a letter in front of his face.

As they were walking back, Harry asked,

"How did you do it?"

In the glow of their lights Draco gave him an impish smile.

"Well, in the rare moments where it was possible I continued to try becoming an Animagus. And yesterday I finally did it."

"That's so great! Why haven't you told us? Into which animal do you change?" Harry asked excited.

"I turn….into, well, a squirrel. But my form is actually pretty useful as I've realized. I jumped from tree to tree and after some experience it was really fun. The point is however that I thus came through the wards and all the other charms which Dumbledore surely has surrounded the castle to protect it. Outside of the castle I've waited then and then finally our owl came. She recognized me as well, came straight flying to me."

"Of course I've changed back before." Darco added quickly while Harry had to suppress a fit of laughter as he imagined Draco as a squirrel that jumped from tree to tree and sighed.

„ So they know definitely, where we are."

"Yes,"

"What is Dumbledore trying to achieve by intercepting our letters? He can't read them anyway, they're charmed after all. So what's the point of that?"

"No idea, Draco."

For a while they were silent. Going down the stairs which led to their dormitory Harry said,

"Caro asked me to help her finding the murderer of her father."

"Will you help her?"

„You don't seem to be surprised," Harry remarked.

"No, Caro already hinted such a thing while you were unconsciousness."

Harry nodded gloomily. They hurried the dark corridor along and for the first time Harry was asking himself why his friends had fled with him to Hogwarts so willingly.

As they entered their common room, they both stopped surprised.

"Caro? What are you doing here?"

Caro who was sitting, snuggled up in a blanket, near the fire, flinched.

"I couldn't sleep. It seems to me that you could neither, could you?

Harry and Draco went to the armchairs and sat down. Caro was holding something silvery in her hand and Harry just wanted to ask her what it was as Draco leaned back and looked at Caro,

"So, you've asked Harry to help you with searching for the murderer of your father?"

"Draco, don't be insulted, now. I'm asking you as well, of course. I've only asked Harry first because I wasn't sure if he would help me." Caro said with an expression on her face which asked for forgiveness.

Harry skidded uncomfortably backwards.

„What're you holding in your hand by the way?" he asked.

The dark-grey eyes looked down and Caro laid the item on the table. Only now Harry saw that it was a tiny sword. While Caro was speaking, Harry's feeling of resignation more and more increased.

The chance that he could bring Caro to forego her revenge was extremely small, he desperate realized. Her hate ran to deep. But what should he do, he couldn't just say to her that he wouldn't help her. Not after she had given Nell her freedom, not after she had freed Nell from the control of his adoptive father and had taken care that she escaped with them, not after she had always been there for him and had never ever let him down.

But for the time being Harry hadn't time to occupy himself further with the question, what he would do then. Though the school caused him no difficulties, homework still wanted to be done. Furthermore he had problems with his Animagus form. Although he could change into a phoenix he couldn't maintain the transformation for a longer period of time so far. This annoyed Harry greatly and that Draco hadn't such problems with his squirrel form, made his mood worse additionally. Caro on the other hand seemed to have not the slightest talent and Peter was desperate whenever they practiced in the Chamber of Secrets. But Caro still didn't manage to turn herself into an animal although Harry had tried to help her.

With his wand-less magic he had also not make any progress. It was always the same. Easy charms which didn't demand much power caused him no problems but such which counted to the more advanced, he wasn't able to perform. He didn't succeed in brining himself into the condition where he had broken the curses on their window either. He still remembered how he had felt his magic in that moment. Probably this only worked in emergencies, Harry thought angrily.

On top of that word had got out that they were real Quidditch talents and so they hadn't had a choice as to accept the offer to join the Slytherin team. The training sessions made more fun then Harry would ever admit and were a welcomed change but Marcus Flint, the captain of the team, had set his mind on winning the Quidditch cup by all means and set training session after training session so that they had even less time in the end. Harry didn't mind it however.

Caro had asked Peter if he knew where the Order was keeping their papers. But Peter had only shaken his head and said that it was much too long ago for him belonging to the Order. From him they had only discovered where Dumbledore's office was located but since Harry had already known since his conversation with the headmaster and should it really turn out that all documents were there, then it would be certainly impossible to get a hold of them. Caro however had been far apart from giving up and so Diamond now tried to find out something.

For one moment Harry had considered to not ask Diamond for this. But he understood Caro only too well. He had also wanted to find out by all means then who his mother was after all. Peter had strictly refused to go searching as well and Harry had only just barely been able to detain his friends from cursing Peter with the Imperius-Curse as the argument had escalated. Since the quarrel Peter hid mostly somewhere in the Chamber of Secrets and as the situation weren't complicated enough, Harry feared a catastrophe each time Caro and Hermione accidentally met, although this fortunately wasn't the case very often since Caro was in the third class and thus had different lessons than they.

The hate which raged between Caro and Hermione, frightened Harry. Draco also didn't speak anymore with Hermione, Ginny and their friends. To Harry's surprise their identities were still a secret. Neither Hermione nor Ginny had revealed their secret although Harry suspected that the Order had something to do with this. And so only Harry and Ginny greeted each other if they met in the corridors. Occasionally they also talked to each other if they met in the library or outside by the lake. One time she asked him why Caro hated her as well. Harry looked up from him book which he had fetched a few minutes ago and said,

"Caro's father was murdered by some members of the Order of the Phoenix. She never got over it."

Ginny sustained his gaze, as she nodded,

"It's madness. This whole war. My grandparents were killed by Death Eaters. Actually I should hate you, shouldn't I? If I would think like Caro and Hermione but I don't hate. I know that it wasn't you who murdered my grandparents. I've never did anything to Caro and yet she looks at me full of hatred each time I see her."

The red-haired girl lowered her gaze and stacked some books on top of each other. Her voice was soft as she asked,

"Hermione has told me who you really are. Do you hate the Dark Lord? Was that the reason for your escape?"

Harry was silent while he thought how strange it was that no one else had ever asked him this question, apart from his adoptive father. Even Dumbledore had not asked him this question although he surely would have loved to know the answer and Sirius, Charlotte and the other adults seemed to treat everything what had to do with his past very carefully after he had refused to answer Sirius' questions. It was almost as they believed the less they spoke about the past years the more possible it was that he forget about it.

Although only Dumbledore had given him that impression Harry was sure that they expected from him that he would one day fight against the Dark Side whereas Caro and Draco believed that, though he wouldn't join the Dark Side, he would certainly not fight against the Dark Side either.

"No, I don't hate him. I didn't want to torture and to kill. That's why I escaped. But I don't hate him," he said finally. Looking up he was saw to his bewilderment that Ginny was smiling,

"I'm glad that you…"

"Ginny! Come here immediately!"

Harry turned around and realized that it had been Ginny's brother who had shouted so loudly. By his side Neville and Hermione were standing, who regarded him anything but friendly. Ginny cast him a glance, collected her book and went over to her friends. Nevertheless Harry heard how Ron Weasley hissed at his sister in a voice with overtones of uncomprehending speechlessness,

"He is a Death Eater! How can you talk with him?"

For one moment Harry considered to interfere but he believed that Ginny could handle this situation alone just fine. Shaking his head he looked at Ginny's empty place. It was strange, somehow he had this scaring feeling more and more often that this red-haired girl who was nearly one year younger than him seemed to understand him best. Harry who thought that this was almost a betrayal of Caro and Draco stood up and set off to the Chamber of Secrets while it crossed his mind that it was actually senseless to hate someone only because he belonged to one group with which you associated something particular.

Caro hated because her father had been murdered; Draco hated, well the reason for Draco's behaviour was incomprehensible for Harry, though his parents had ram into him to hate all those who didn't stand on the Dark Side, but he had been raised in such a way as well; Hermione hated because she had lost her parents and only spoke with him for the sake of Sirius, if it was inevitable and if Sirius was present, otherwise Hermione never addressed him; Sirius and Remus hated Peter because he had betrayed his parents and his adoptive father hated nearly everyone. The reason for that was as well a complete mystery for Harry. Deeply lost in thoughts Harry sauntered the corridor along. Actually Caro and Hermione should have to understand each other, he thought. They had both lost their fathers after all. Why, Harry asked himself, was he not filled with such a hate?

Was it that why because the one who had his parents on his conscience was his adoptive father and he had never known his real parents? Harry tried to remember when he had begun to question the beliefs of his adoptive father. Had it been as he had found out that he was a Potter? Harry shook his head. No, he had already earlier thought about this. Nell, he thought, he had never seen Nell as a slave and thus the first doubt had risen in him if what his adoptive father told him was right. Harry went through the portrait and turned into a phoenix. He had not the slightest desire to walk downstairs.

In the meanwhile he had finally managed it and could now change into a phoenix for as long as he wanted. Arriving in the library he searched for books which had wand- less magic as their content. Reaching for a little book, something fell out as he opened the book. Curiously Harry bent down. It was a photo. Harry gasped for breath. In the first moment he thought that it was his mother but then he saw that the young woman, who winked at him, had amber eyes and also her features were different. Harry turned the photo around and read what stood there in faded handwriting.

Meet me today in the library. 10 pm.

Cathy

Harry didn't know why but he put the photo back in the book and let it disappear in one of his pockets. While he continued to search, his thoughts lingered still on the photo and he wondered who that girl had been.

The weeks passed and in November they had their first Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. Thanks to Harry, who played as Seeker and to Caro and Draco who played as Chasers, they won with a lead of 150 points and over night they rose considerably in the Slytherin's esteem. While being busy with Quidditch and homework, Harry continuously feared that Diamond or Caro and Draco who had tried recently to spy after some Order members could find out where the archives were and before Harry noticed it, it was Christmas.

Unlike Jamie, Lizzie and Remus' children who were happy and excited, Harry felt rather uneasy. Alison, who had joined them with her daughter, stared with gloomy face at the festively decorated Christmas tree and each time Harry's eyes fell on her, he felt feelings of guilt rising in him. It wasn't your fault that Snape went back, he told himself sternly.

Caro and Draco seemed to feel uncomfortably as well and Charlotte who noticed the tension spared no effort but she didn't succeed very well in lightening the mood. Harry caught himself wishing that Ginny would celebrate with them instead of her family. As Sirius fetched a few photo albums, Harry was glad about the distraction.

Harry listened also devoutly to the stories which Sirius with some support of Remus told and suddenly he felt fierce affection for his godfather and Remus as they spoke full of warmth of James and Lily Potter, his parents.

Looking at a picture Harry frowned. It showed the wedding of his parents, his mother in a bright white dress stood arm in arm with his father. But Harry's gaze was riveted on the portal in front of which his parents were standing. The coat of arms that was attached to the gate he recognized immediately. It was the picture which was showed on his little box he had found in Godric's Hollow; an ocean of flames which surrounded a golden 'P'.

„ Where is this?" he asked and pointed towards the picture.

"That was in Terley; the castle of the Potters, for centuries in their possession. Lily and James bought Godric's Hollow after their wedding. They wanted to have a small house and Lilly fell immediately in love with Godric's Hollow. So they moved there."

Harry nodded and while slowly leaving through the pages, his thoughts still lingered on the just discovered information. Thanks to the little children it still became a nice feast for Harry and he had to smile as he saw how Lizzie fell asleep in Draco's arms. The little one had twisted his friend round her little finger quite a lot.

Caro talked in the meanwhile with Charlotte and Harry was relieved that Caro didn't seem to feel any dislike to Charlotte at least. Emily fed her son while Hermione fooled around with Jamie and little Meggie.

Sirius played chess with Remus and suddenly Harry felt sad and excluded what was absurd but without wanting it he had to think of his adoptive father who was sitting now in his dark castle. Harry knew that he wouldn't celebrate. They had never celebrated Christmas and Harry felt a strange mixture of pity and longing and realized that he missed him. He murdered my parents, he tortured Nell and he wanted to force me to torture and to kill and he only wanted to use me, Harry said to himself so why didn't he hate him? That would simplify everything so much. He should hate him and yet, there he was missing him! Harry cast a glance at the others, stood up then and went out of the room. He climbed up one of the towers and sauntered along the battlements and noticed that it had begun to snow,

Inhaling the cold air, he sighed. How peaceful the night was. He leaned against the battlements and stared up into the dark, black sky.

"Merry Christmas, Harry."

Harry turned happily around. Ginny's voice he would have recognized everywhere. She wore a hood, yet in the moonlight he could see that she smiled at him.

"Isn't the snow beautiful?" she whispered and Harry looked down on her palm. In the dim moonlight the snowflakes were glistering and an idea occurred to Harry. Taking his wand he began to whisper and while Ginny was looking at him astonished, the snowflakes fit together and glistering in a blinding white they curled themselves around Ginny's wrist.

„Oh, Harry, that is beautiful!" Ginny said and looked down at her bracelet.

"Thank you so much but I've nothing for you."

Harry shook his head.

„Never mind."

He had just said this as Rainbow landed gracefully on the castle wall. Harry lifted one hand and stroked over the black feathers.

"So, you're finally back again."

Ginny who startled had stepped back as his phoenix had unexpectedly appeared, came again closer and reached out as well while Rainbow was softly trilling.