I don't own CSI, that one show, or really anything mentioned in the story below.

Once upon a time there were some CSIs by the name of Grissom, Sara, Warrick, Catherine, Nick, and Greg. They were sitting around the table in the break room accompanied by a coroner called Doc Robbins, or just Doc, and a detective who went by the name Jim Brass. They were all talking about nothing in particular. Warrick couldn't help but notice that Nick kept staring at him and Sara noticed the same thing only Grissom kept looking at her (not Nick. That would just be scary). All of a sudden Ecklie walked into the room, his head held up high looking like he was trying to show something off.

"New pants Ecklie?" asked Catherine because she could tell that he was wearing new pants.

"Yeah, how did you guess?" he said and even though this was not what he wanted everyone to notice he was quite pleased that Catherine of all people had noticed he got new pants. It must mean that she truly loved him.

"Well, you've left the size sticker on them. Wow, that's a pretty big pair of pants to wear, are you sure that they fit you? I would never have picked you to wear pants that size," said Catherine.

"When one wears the right clothes it can take pounds off their overall look. I learnt that watching 'What Not To Wear'," replied Ecklie.

"Oh, oh, I know what's happened!" said Brass. "You've gotten contacts. You know, you look so different without you glasses I can't believe we didn't notice it before."

"I have never had glasses Jim and can say that I'm quite hurt that you would believe that I had glasses. Can you guys not tell what has happened?" Ecklie pointed to his head and hoped that some of the brightest and smartest CSIs in the country could at least figure out this rather simple puzzle.

Grissom now knew what had happened and said so himself. "You've gotten yourself a toupee Conrad. You can never really tell with the lights in the lab. Here I was thinking you were still bald. Glad you now realize that it isn't a bad thing to cover up your baldness with a hair piece. Who knows, it may become the look for next season."

"Gil, I did not get a toupee. I got myself a hair transplant. But yes, I still decided to cover up my baldness."

"It still looks fake from here," said Sara who was circling around the break room trying to figure out if it was indeed real hair.

"You Miss. Sidle are out of line. I would ask send you to my office so I could suspend you without pay for a week but Grissom would only get you out of it. Plus, I want to go admire myself in the mirror so I'm off for now. Toddles."

Ecklie walked down the corridor in the general direction of his office. Throughout the entire exchange Greg had been unusually quite. You see Ecklie had given him an idea (no it was not to get a hair transplant before you ask). It was an idea that he would keep to himself for a while until the moment was just right and then surprise everyone. At the same moment that Greg began pondering just exactly how he would go about implementing his plan Sofia walked in wearing a large orange hoodie that made her look fat.

"Hey guys. You'll never guess what I found. It's this orange hoodie, like that one guy on that one show always wears. It's a rather funny show and I suggest you watch it. Hey, someone kill me." Sofia said.

At the same moment that Sofia said that a crossbow appeared in Sara's hands. Not wanting to waste an opportunity to destroy the evil Spork she fired it. It pierced right through Sofia's heart, killing her. The death was quite painful.

"Oh my god, you killed Sofia! You bastard!" Was all Doc Robbins could say.

"What, like anyone is really going to miss her. Hey, isn't that what those guys say in that one show that Spork was talking about just before her death," Sara said

"Yeah, it only seemed appropriate at this moment. I'm sure no one is going to miss her. Hell, I'm going to be doing the autopsy so I'm going to say that it was a heart attack. No one will know." Doc Robbins replied.

"When we process the scene we just won't collect any evidence and no one is going to know the difference," said Sara catching on to what Doc Robbins was saying.

Grissom was overcome with admiration with Sara at this one moment for her skill at bring about the demise of the evil Spork. He now realized that he loved her more than ever but didn't exactly know what to do about it so he went to his office to figure out what he would do.

The departure of Grissom from the table meant that there interesting conversation about nothing came to an end. Warrick and Nick went to the locker room to get changed and go home for the day, Brass went out cause his phone just rang and everybody know you couldn't get reception in the lab. Sara went to process the scene at which Spork was killed and although knew she would find nothing, decided to make it look like she was doing something. Robbins went to do the autopsy but already knew cause of death so decided not even really to bother and like Sara, make it look like he was doing something. Catherine remained seated and began flipping through Maxim, although how it got to be on the table is a mystery to this day and Greg continued to stare off into space thinking of his rather grand plan and how and when he would put it into action.

"So Warrick, got any plans when you get home today?" asked Nick once they finally arrived in the locker room.

"No, not really. Thought I would try to overcome the urge to gamble as Tina has just been horribly killed in a car accident."

"Oh, hey man, I'm really sorry about Tina. I know you two were close. I was going to try and overcome my fear of all bugs. They honestly just get to me you know?"

"Nah, I never really liked Tina anyway. It was a marriage of convince more than anything else. You see Nicky my boy; it's you I really love."

"I love you too Warrick. Pin me down."

"Excuse me? I've just completely opened up about my true feelings about you and you want me to pin you down?" Warrick was in shock that Nick wanted him to do that.

"Well, it seemed to work for Grissom and Sara and as long as one of us doesn't ruin it by talking who knows where it will lead."

"Yeah, although I wasn't there to see Grissom pin Sara down I heard about it. How about I save the pinning you down for later and right now we go tell everyone our news?"

"Sounds good to me," said Nick and they walked out of the locker room holding hands and discussing what they would do next.

At the exact same moment that Nick and Warrick had just opened up to each other and shared their true feelings, Grissom was sitting in his office deciding how best to express his true feeling for Sara. Brass walked in and said, "Grissom, I've got two things to tell you. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Start with the good Jim, I know the bad news can wait."

"The good news I have is that there is a crime scene in the desert."

"That's good news how exactly?" Grissom asked. Sometimes Brass didn't really think out what he said.

"I'm getting to that. The victims appear to be George Bush and Osama Bin Laden. It appears that in the crossfire they killed all the neo-Nazis and child molesters. Now the US is run by Muppets. Kermit appears to be in charge but I hear that Miss. Piggy really wants that job. I also hear that the Muppets are really pushing for world peace. My contacts at CNN will keep me up to date with what will happen in that news story."

"When did you get contacts at CNN?" Grissom asked completely forgetting about the crime scene in the desert.

"I've known some of these people for ages. We go back along time. The bad news I have will come as a shock for you but I think you need to hear it. I got a call from Ellie yesterday and she got into Princeton. I'm moving back to Jersey so she can go."

"Wait a minute," Grissom said. "Ellie's your daughter right?"

"Yes."

"The last time we saw her I believe that she was a prostitute in Los Angeles."

"Look Gil, I know where you're going with this," said Brass.

"Let me finish Jim. I think you owe me at least that much. All I want to know is how did Ellie end up being accepted into Princeton? It's not like becoming the head of the crime lab. They don't let just anyone in."

"How the hell should I know Grissom? For all I know she slept with everyone she had to in order to get in. At least now she'll get an education and it will certainly be better than the one I got."

Grissom stared at Brass for a moment to collect his thoughts then said, "I've known you for a long time Jim, longer than either of us might like to admit. I'm going to miss you around here. Now that Spork has, as Al proved in record autopsy time, had a heart attack, the city is going to need two new detectives. I suppose you'll want to tell everyone you're leaving.

"Well actually," began Brass. "I was rather hoping you could do that for me. I've never been good at goodbyes and always end up crying like a baby. So do you mind covering it for me? Thanks. I'll send you an email sometime to let you know how we get on. Bye Grissom." With that Brass walked out the door and headed for the parking lot.