Grissom just sat in his chair and mulled over what had happened today. Ecklie got himself a hair transplant and in the process made himself look worse than when he was bald if that were even possible. Spork had, as Doc Robbins proved in record autopsy time, had a heart attack at such a young age and no one would miss her and now Brass was leaving to go back to Jersey so Ellie could get an education. He was just about to start thinking about what he was going to say to Sara to confess his undying love for her when he saw Nick and Warrick holding hands walking slowly down the corridor to the break room. Things couldn't get much crazier around the lab today he decided and followed them. He got to the break room and saw that Catherine was reading Maxim, Greg looked totally absorbed in doing whatever it was he was doing, Sara was making coffee, while Nick and Warrick stood in the center of the room. Grissom took a seat expecting to hear something of interest but before he could do that Spork walked back in as if nothing had happened. "I thought I killed you?" Sara said.
"Well you did but to make this story more interesting it's been decided that I come in every chapter only to die a painful death in this orange hoodie."
"Okay then," said Sara and once again took it upon herself to destroy the evil Spork. She calmly pulled her gun out of its holster and fired a shot at Spork's stomach as we all know that stomach wounds are quite painful. Spork once again died in slow agony never to be missed again.
"Now that Sara has killed the evil Spork we have an announcement to make so listen up. Today while Warrick and I were getting changed and I was admiring that six-pack he has we began talking. We came to the decision that we both love each other and are going to Canada to get married. By the way, everyone here is invited." Nick said.
Catherine looked up from the magazine she was reading to ask, "Warrick what about Tina? You married her over me and now you're marrying Nick. When will things ever go my way?"
"Tina died or something. I believe it was mentioned before but really don't care. All I really care about is my little Nicky… Catherine, I do have something to ask you though. I was wondering if you would let Nick and me to adopt Lindsey."
"Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. The name isn't ringing any bells for me Warrick. Who is she?" Catherine asked.
"Lindsey, you know your daughter?" Warrick said now hoping that Catherine would say yes because at this point she was really starting to seem like an unfit parent.
"Oh," Catherine exclaimed, now realizing who Lindsey was. "Her. I knew her name started with L or maybe I thought it was S. Who knows really? I certainly don't. Of course you guys can adopt her. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. Just let me phone her and ask." Catherine pulled out her phone, punched in the number, and pressed SEND.
"Hey, Linda,"
"Lindsey!" Everyone except Greg shouted out. Greg still seemed to be off in his own little world.
"Sorry about that, my friends seem to be on something that makes them shout out weird things. How do you feel about letting Warrick and Nicky adopt you? You would have to live with them of course and I no longer would legally be your mom but the decision is yours. I want you to take you time in deciding, it's a pretty big decision for someone like you to make."
"Of course Mom. I would love to have two dads instead of one absent Mom. Wait till I tell my friends, they are going to be sooo jealous. Bye for now, talk to you later."
Catherine looked Nick and Warrick in the eyes and thought about how she would have paid to know what was going on in their minds. Nick was thinking about how good Warrick would look in a Speedo on their honeymoon in Mexico and Warrick was thinking the same thing. Nick was also thinking about on the second part of their honeymoon and wondering if he could convince Warrick to wear assless chaps because for a surprise they were going off to be cowboys for a week after a week in Mexico. Warrick didn't know so don't tell him. Nick was inspired after seeing Brokeback Mountain. As you can see they were actually very shallow people. "Lindsey would love to have you too has her Dads. I sure hope you can do a better job than I did." Warrick was so happy he cried and Nick was trying to be a man but it didn't work and he too cried like a little baby.
With that over and done with Grissom decided it was time to say what he had to say. He looked over at Sara meeting her eyes for just a second and thought how beautiful she was. She had now killed the evil Spork not once but twice. He thought of all the things he would like to do to her at that one moment in time but most of them were inappropriate for the lab environment. (Get your mind out of the gutters, he would have liked to have a picnic with her but unfortunately the lab was not a place to have a picnic). "Today has been an interesting day my friends. A lot has happened and now I have an announcement to make of my own."
"You're finally going to admit that you're in love with Sara and announce that we're going to have a double wedding in Canada," said Nick. Sara turned bright red at this comment and Grissom gave Nick one of his infamous looks.
"No. I was going to say that Brass told me that he is moving back to Jersey as Ellie got into Princeton."
"Now Ellie would be his prostitute daughter wouldn't it?" asked Sara.
"You know," said Grissom. "That is exactly what I said. The answer to that question is yes by the way."
"Great minds think alike as that old saying goes," said Sara, fully aware that it made her sound stupid.
"Indeed they do," said Grissom.
Greg now appeared to be out of his world and said, "Oh, look at Grissom and Sara, they're having a moment."
"Shut up Greg," said Sara and Grissom was provided with another opportunity to give his infamous look.
Greg continued as if Sara had never spoken. "Nick and Warrick, for your honeymoon you should go off and be gay cowboys. I only just got back from watching Brokeback Mountain and think it would be a good idea. I mean come on Nick your from Texas so it should be quite easy for you to set something up." Nick turned bright red from this statement, how could Greg know what he was planning. He figured it must be an eerie coincidence and left it at that.
"I have one more announcement," said Grissom. "Brass reported before he left that there is a crime scene in the desert. The victims appear to be George Bush and Osama Bin Laden. They had a gun battle and in the crossfire killed all the neo-Nazis and child molesters. As we all seem to be so busy I sent out our new intern Nancy McGrillows out as she seems eager to please. Look, here she comes now."
"Hello, Dr. Grissom. I finished up the crime scene and the bodies are with the coroner. Unfortunately Osama Bin Laden was taken by the CIA before I could photographs and get the body to the coroner and a wild dog ran off with the leg of George Bush. Now I'll just go and supervise the autopsy as you all seem busy and then I'll go get my results from Trace, Ballistics, DNA, QD, and wherever else I may have evidence in." Nancy McGrillows with this one speech had made an impression on them all. They all placed her for a workaholic who had no life.
Greg thought that this Nancy McGrillows was worse than Sara and Grissom in terms of having no life. At least Sara was completely in love with Grissom and Grissom had his love of bugs (and secret love of Sara although we all know just how secret it was).
Nancy went of skipping down the hall in the direction of the coroners but turned around and came skipping down the hall again. She looked at Grissom and Catherine and pointed at them. "I may be completely out of line here bit I think that you two would make a good couple. You should get together at some point in time in an environment that isn't the lab." Grissom and Catherine just looked at each other and smiled. If only young Nancy knew the truth.
"Thanks for the advice Nancy," said Catherine. "I'm sure we can think of something to do about 'this'." With those 16 words Catherine made Nancy the happiest women in the world. She skipped like she never skipped before down the hallway to visit the coroner.
Once she got there she began thinking that Doc Robbins was the strangest man alive. Not only did he make allusions to his life including various drug and sexual references he also seemed to be completely unaware of who lay before him on the table.
"I've done all I can with his body. The only thing left to do is remove the skull and get a look at his brain. David my saw please." David ran over quite excited to see what Doc Robbins would do. He actually realized who the deceased was, if only Doc Robbins could do the same.
"Thanks." He made the first incision right above a fancy medical word beyond your comprehension.
The blade of the sword didn't go through though. It got stuck. Doc Robbins removed the saw and tried again. He went towards the head like a mad man again but the blade got stuck. "This is one thick head," Doc Robbins said.
David snorted at the remark and gave Doc Robbins a smile, "You do know who this is sir don't you?" asked David.
"Should I?" Robbins asked.
"It's President George W. Bush. Do you not recognize him?"
"Well now you've said that David I do. It certainly explains a lot. Since we're out of places to put bodies just throw him in with any old thing. I'm getting quite good at lying on autopsies, I'm sure the bullet in his chest was COD so let's just leave it at that." David put the body away and Robbins washed up. This left Nancy McGrillows alone, completely forgotten about. She walked out humming a tune to herself. So far it had been a good day.