3.Intentions

Hermione felt numb. She sat and watched Snape disappear into his own darkness before her, but felt nothing. Had Snape really betrayed Dumbledore? Had he really committed cold-blooded murder against the only living soul who believed in him? Harry had been right; Snape's heroism was for his own sake and no one else's. Hermione cursed herself for being so bloody stupid, for trusting that there was some good in her teacher.

Hermione stood up to leave and began to head for the door.

Snape was oblivious to her actions. He did not take notice of or care what was happening around him. Lord Voldemort himself could have entered his company at this moment and he would not have flinched. What had become of his life? He swore to himself that when he left Hogwarts, he would leave 'Snivelous' behind, the cowardly, socially awkward, lonesome, incapable slither of a boy who was nothing but a source of entertainment to his fellow pupils. The friends that he had made in his final years at Hogwarts were going to take him places; they were from rich, pureblood families and closely following the rise of a certain Tom Riddle, a direct descendent of Salazar Slytherin. He would soon be part of the most powerful sect of wizards in the world, and he would show everyone exactly what Severus Snape was capable of. Snape shuddered at the memory, how young and ignorant he had been.

Now here he was, thirty-something years later and as he could see it, very little had changed. He was still so very lonesome, and so socially awkward that he could not even ask this caring young girl before him for the help that he so desperately needed. The only thing that Snape could hope for now was death, yet he was too cowardly to end his own existence. This is where his teenage aspirations of power had brought him, to the darkest place that he had ever been. Oh how he wished that Dumbledore were still here.

As Hermione reached for the door, she turned around to look at Snape and remembered the conversation that she had with Professor Lupin before she had left.

"Professor Snape is in a pretty bad way, but I think that if I had kept he and Harry together any longer, well you understand my point." Lupin pointed out.

"Yes Professor, but are you sure that he will make it through the night? More than anything we must be able to ask him what happened, what information he may have for us. Its vitally important that he remain healthy at least until he has told us all that he can." Hermione said, her inquisitive mind as sharp as usual.

Lupin sighed.

"I believe that once again you are correct Hermione. However, I regret to say that my place is here, with Harry and the order. There is too much going on for me to be spending time helping a man who, some would say, neither deserves nor wants to be helped."

"What about taking him to hospital?"

"For one, I very much doubt that he would agree to go. Also, Mrs Weasley was at St Mungos this morning and said that she has never seen it so busy; people have been queuing for hours apparently, thanks to you-know-who's recent attacks. Somehow I don't see them pulling out any stops for an injured Death Eater, not to mention that as soon as he was healed it would be straight to Azkaban, and no good to us. I'm sorry Hermione, there is just no other option…"

"I'll go."

"Hermione, be reasonable…"

"Why not? I'm pretty sure that my healing potion that I have been working on can help counteract the effects of the Cruciatus Curse."

"Hermione, I have no doubt in your capabilities, but Severus is a different situation all together. Yes he saved Harry, but we are still very unsure of his intentions. He could be dangerous."

"From the way that you describe his condition professor, I doubt that he would pose much of a threat. As you said he saved Harry, and was attacked by the Death Eaters, he could have been killed."

"And we do vitally need whatever information he may have. Yes Hermione, I regret to admit that you are once again correct; there is no other way. Despite his shortcomings, Severus does deserve some compassion for his sacrifice and I can see no other here more capable than you of administering it. However, please do be careful, I beg of you."

"As I said, I doubt that Professor Snape is in any position to…"

"No Hermione I'm not talking about Severus, I do not need to tell you that we are living in dangerous times. Do what you can, but no more."

As Hermione recalled this conversation, she became slightly disgusted with herself. She had not come here to satisfy her own curiosity concerning Snape's loyalty. She had come here to make sure that he was well enough to provide information for the order, and also to show him some compassion for his actions earlier in the night. If she were to return now and say that she didn't help Professor Snape because he had betrayed Dumbledore, everyone would think that she had gone mad! She had always been the only one to question the motives behind Dumbledore's murder, and she daren't speak her thoughts to anyone. Perhaps she should have in order to have had this ridiculous idea removed from her head earlier and therefore avoided the disappointment that she was feeling now. Hermione Granger: the brightest witch of her age, the thought almost made her laugh.

Hermione marched back up the hall and into the kitchen, it would seem that Snape had not noticed her coming or going. He seemed to be in some sort of trance. She pulled a piece of cotton from the ball that she had made earlier and dipped it into the bowl of water.

"Let me see your face." She demanded.

Snape either did not hear her or chose to ignore her.

"Professor Snape!"

"What?" he croaked quietly. He now seemed truly shattered.

"Let me see your face, I need to clean you up."

Snape seemed slightly confused, as though he had just awoken from a deep sleep. He still held his head in his hand and seemed to have little understanding as to what the girl wanted him to do. Hermione realised this, gently moved his hands from his face, held his mucky hair back and gently began to wipe the blood and grime from his hollow face. She took her time and was very careful not to hurt him, not that he would have noticed if she did. The pain coming from the cuts and burns on his skin was incomparable to the pain that was searing through his body from the Cruciatus Curse. This feeling of being looked after was very alien to Snape, and he was quite unsure how he felt about it. His mother had never really cared for him like this as a child, not that he could remember anyway. Snape had always looked after himself, and that was how he liked it.

After a while, Hermione finally finished up.

"I think that you should go and take a bath now, I will begin brewing the healing potion. Where may I do that?"

"Not that I wish to upset you again Miss Granger," Snape said with a slight sneer, "but are you sure that you know what you are doing with this healing potion of yours?"

"Yes Professor", Hermione began rather excitedly. She had wanted to discuss her new potion with someone who knew, and who was interested in what she was talking about. Momentarily forgetting the situation she began to elaborate, "Actually I got the idea from Penn's book of 'Pick me up Potions', but I thought that his ideas were rather basic so I…"

"Please spare me the details Granger, and in return I will tell you where you may brew your potion."

Hermione felt rather foolish, "Yes, sir?"

"Go through to the lounge, and there is a door hidden in the wood paneling, upon close inspection you should be able to see it. Open it and it will lead you downstairs to the cellar where all of my equipment is kept. I own most ingredients, and those which I don't I would not wish to ingest anyway. I assume that I do not need to tell you to be careful, and I trust that you will not be snooping around."

Snape pulled himself up from his chair, slowly and painfully. Hermione offered a helping hand, but Snape ignored it. He slowly made his way through the hall, and as he reached the bottom of the stairs, he sighed at the effort it was going to require ascending them.

"Do you require any help, sir?"

Snape simply looked at her blankly, closed his eyes and disappeared. Hermione gasped, ran to the bottom of the stairs and watched him appear at the top. He stood still for a second, as though regaining whatever miniscule of strength still existing within him, and walked out of Hermione's sight.