** Disclaimer: I do not own Disney's Frozen, I do not own any of their art, songs or characters. What I do own is all of my OC's, any couplings, situations, or plot points that I create in My story. Cool? Cool! Let's do this. **
(P.S. Thank you for reading.)
Flurries of varying sizes and colors danced lazily across the wooden surface of the Queen's desk, their origin being the slender pale fingers of the sorceress herself. Elsa smiled, a small secretive smile simply for her own benefit, the freedom of releasing the pent-up magic that she had hidden for such a long agonizing time was liberating. A sigh escaped her lips, steeping her fingers she released her magic in a forceful burst creating a sort of diamond of condensed ice, it floated above her hands suspended as if by a wire. Using her significant focus, Elsa imagined the shape of the ice shifting becoming more and more fine, she allowed the density of the object to increase, increasing therefore its opaqueness until it became reflective.
A single icy blue eye came into view on the slowly spinning reflective surface, Elsa moved a bit farther back allowing her reflection to enhance, now revealing one eye, an eyebrow, and the bridge of her nose. Suddenly there was a bright flash of color and Elsa could feel the blood drain from her face, in a spontaneous burst of movement she flicked her right hand up in the direction of the prism; magic swirled into being in the space between, shattering the prism on impact. Now only shards of Ice shattering and the panting of a bewildered Queen interrupted the silence that previously filled the large, dark study. Slowly, carefully, Elsa allowed her still trembling hands to rest on top of the desk, like skittish birds alighting on a branch. Upon contact with the ice coating the surface, it as well as any snow adorning the room, melted away.
Ever since she was a child, as far back as Elsa could clearly remember, she had always had sway over the powers of winter, an innate ability to control snow and ice. Surprisingly enough, though her power itself created something so cold, she herself had never considered it as such. In fact, when casting the magic, she had always felt warm and comforted. Unfortunately, that was not the case at the moment, tendrils of ice were crawling through her blood stream, an unbearable wave of frost that seemed to be building within her was spilling outward. Harsh pants exited the Queen's open mouth in sporadic bursts of icy air, clearly visible in the humid study. Soon enough strong wracking shivers began to shake Elsa, bundling her clothes tighter around her and even using the throw blanket laid across the back of her chair made no difference.
Panic finally began to settle in, the chair made a loud screech followed by an accompanying thump as Elsa stood abruptly and began to make her way around the left side of her desk. "If I can just make it to the hall, if I can use the lever to ring the service quarters someone is sure to come assist me," Elsa continued to hobble out from behind her desk and around the corner, slowly moving one foot after the other, until suddenly she felt a tug on her left heel. Frowning she attempted to step again, only to feel the same annoying tug, looking down Elsa felt her heart nearly stop beating in her chest, frost had accumulated from her shoe and stuck her foot to the floor. In a frenzy, Elsa leaned over and unbuckled her heels, slipping them off in a haggard fashion as she began walking quickly now, making sure to never let her feet stay for too long in one place.
As if her body was aware of her struggle, a patch of ice shot from the sole of her foot in front of Elsa, causing her to slip and knock her head roughly against the corner of the desk. Collapsed on the floor in the shadow of her desk in her darkening study, Elsa finally allowed herself to cry, dull thumps could be heard against the aged hardwood as frozen salty water cascaded down her cheeks and onto the floor.
"Don't give in Elsa." The words came to her unbidden, clear and solid, as if they were spoken out loud.
Determined, Elsa screamed, "Help!" She took another deep breath, preparing to yell again, suddenly the frost within her reared its ugly head again, it surged up her esophagus like bile. Sapping the strength from her throats muscles and wrapping its icy grip around her vocal cords, shortening them and taking away their power. "Help . . . Please . . . Someone . . . anyone." Elsa's voice was now a croak, breathy and warbling, it was painful to breathe, as though she had swallowed a thousand pins and needles. Fixing her dimming vision on the unlit fireplace, the downtrodden Queen began a desperate struggle towards it.
Elsa could feel her nails as they scratched against the floor, her body slowly and painfully inching its way past the arm chair at the edge of the carpet and closer to the fireplace at the far wall. Finally, her muscles gave out, Elsa had no idea how long she had been laying trapped in this stifling room or for how long she had dragged herself across the floor, but she could no longer move. The ice spilling from her pores had completely ensconced her and trapped her, her nails were broken, chipped, and bleeding. Her breaths came short and few between as she lay there, helpless . . . hopeless. Elsa's tears had long ago become frozen to her face, icicles dangling from her damp cheek.
The cold inside was like a raging ocean in a storm, violent and sickening and cold. Burning her insides and keeping her awake even as she felt her life force draining. A film had begun to slowly form over her eyes, clouding her vision, Elsa could numbly feel the pinch of skin on her lips chipping before sloshing off in chunks as she continued to breathe. Her exhales were harsh bursts and her inhales were rattling gasps. "No, please, I'm scared. Help me please, Kai . . . Gerda . . . . . . Anna."
"Your Sister is dead." Suddenly he was there, barely visible at the corner of her vision. Sitting plainly in sight on one of the couches to her right, his bright hair a splash of blood in the darkening room, bright and painful to look at. Elsa couldn't see the hideous man very well, but she could see enough to recognize that the Hans in front of her now was not the one that they had stand on trial yesterday afternoon. That man was pale and bedraggled and unshaven. He was as filthy and unappealing on the outside as he was inside, meanwhile this Hans was bright and shiny and new, dressed in royal finery and wearing his sickening smile. The Frost inside of her was now an ocean frozen over, crackling, shattering, refreezing and expanding. Elsa felt as though she was about to explode, her heart hammered as though it had a new life and her breath was coming stronger now as she grit her teeth and grunted.
"Get out of my sight!" Her voice croaked, shifting and changing volume and pitch indiscriminately, it sounded like stepping on broken glass. "How pitiful," Elsa thought to herself angrily, Hans laughed loudly, in fact it was almost a smug chuckle. He rose from his seat with grace and slowly sauntered until he was directly in front of Elsa, crouching in front of the fireplace and then taking a seat on the foot of the mantle. He smiled goadingly and sat back on his hands, allowing his body to appear relaxed, though his shoulders stayed tensed belying the truth.
"You know Elsa, is it ok if I call you Elsa?" For a moment the former Prince looked at the Queen pointedly before smirking and nodding to himself without waiting for an answer,
"This scenario you find yourself in reminds me very strongly of another person, in a situation very similar to the one you find yourself in. Another Oldenburg with strawberry blonde hair and a smile that could melt ice caps, I'm sure you know her." Elsa couldn't breathe, it felt as though her lungs had simply stopped, consciously with great effort she willed them to expand, breathing in a broken and ragged breath that sounded much closer to a sob. Han's snapped his fingers dramatically, as if just remembering an important detail. He laughed again, throwing his body forward in an unnatural motion, placing both hands on his knees and leaning as far forward as he could while still staying seated.
"That's right, oh how could I have forgotten, Anna is your sister, and not only that she is your only sister who loves you dearly. Anna loves her older sister Elsa more than anyone else in the world, there is no point in arguing that fact. Yet for some strange reason, you cursed her, you froze her heart with your hateful, disgusting magic. You turned all your anger and all your hate and all of your fear against the one person who didn't deserve it, and you killed her."
"No." Elsa was shaking again now but not with cold; her body had become numbed long ago. It was with fear, it was with sorrow, tears anew broke through the dam of ice on her eyes and leaked down her frosted cheeks before thumping frozen on the carpet. "No, God no, please no it's not true," "Anna's not dead."
"Oh, but she is Snow Queen, in fact I think it happened in this very room," A crooked smile worked it's way on to Hans's face, he pointed eagerly at the couch he was previously sitting on, "In fact, she was lying right on that couch. I laid her there after helping her make her way to here from the castle entry hall. She laid there so pitifully; frozen to the bone, her hair white as ice, her skin beginning to turn blue." Hans tilted his head as he turned back to face Elsa, eyes narrowing before he smiled again and returned to his tale, pitching his voice up into a falsetto.
"'Han's please, only true loves kiss can break this curse and save me.' I smiled softly at her, got on one knee, took her face softly in my hands and leaned in slowly . . . slowly, then pulled away. I told her how her dying was the best thing that could happened for me, after which I strolled from the room locking it as I left, leaving poor Anna to die alone and betrayed. Betrayed by a man she met a day ago at a ball. . . and by her sister who she's known all of her life, quite sad don't you think?" By the end of Hans's tale Elsa's chest was heaving, attempting to drag in as many uneven breaths as possible to abate the crushing pain inside of her. She shook her head violently, shards and chunks of ice broke off from the casing around her neck and skittered off in all directions, bouncing off the carpet and pinging off the walls. "Fuck you Hans!" Elsa desperately opened her mouth and attempted to say something biting in response to Hans's disturbing tale, when the unhinged man began to speak again, and Elsa could feel the remaining life force drain out of her at his words.
"Of course, we both know you don't blame yourself for what happened to you and your sister . . . no, of course not. You blame your parents'; you think it's all Mama and Papa's fault." A growl ripped itself unnaturally from Elsa's throat, she groaned in pain as she turned her head to face Hans and leveled a glare at him.
"Shut up, leave my sight Hans, you don't know what you're talking about!" He smirked glibly, though a momentary expression of grudging respect flashed across his face at her words. Standing, he walked closer and then sat on the floor, maybe a foot or two away.
"I'm surprised you still have enough energy to talk Queen Elsa, you should try and save your energy, you don't have a lot of time left. Besides, let's drop the façade Elsa, we both know about your parental issues. They instilled a fear of yourself and other people within you, they abused you, they locked you away from any other people besides them. With all of the measures they took and all of the trials they put you through, you would think there would be some measure of progress. A comparative benchmark that they could look at and see your improvement, but there wasn't, and you didn't improve. In fact, they couldn't even follow through and finish what they started."
"Stop," Elsa felt her fist clench violently, reflexively, and she could hear the ice in her hand shattering.
"They left both of you, they abandoned the both of you when you were still vulnerable and unlearned about the world, at the tender ages of sixteen and thirteen. They depart on a trip in the fall of one year, set to return next fall season. Instead, they decide to leave and return early during the summer storms, and on your seventeenth birthday you finally receive the report that your parents have died at sea, leaving both of you all alone."
"Shut up!"
"All alone to run a kingdom, all alone to comfort a sister who is grieving, all alone to confront a world that you feel separated from. They abandoned you socially and emotionally crippled, so of course you failed. You couldn't comfort your sister; you couldn't face your kingdom or your staff. So, you stayed ensnared in the web that your parents had spun around you and decayed even more. Putting it all off until the coronation,"
"Please Hans just stop, leave me alone!"
"Three years spent all alone, completely alone this time without your overbearing parental figures breathing down your neck, abusing a sister with your continued silence like your parents abused you with their words. The coronation arrives, everything seems just fine, maybe you can hide your secret still, maybe you'll escape this day alive. Of course not, you're a failure, you broke your kingdom with an endless winter and broke your sister's heart with a magical curse. Then when everything comes to a head and you have a chance to stand up and make a change, what do you do, you give in Elsa, you always give in. You decided you wanted to give up and commit assisted suicide at my blade. You're disgusting, you're weak. . . but, it's not your fault, remember. All of this can be traced back to two people that molded your life. Your Parents . . ." Silence finally overtook the room once more, silence bar the soft and broken cries of the Queen of Arendelle, frozen solid, lying on the floor like a toppled chess piece.
"Are they to blame? Have I been blaming them for what has gone wrong since their deaths? Do I truly believe my parents abused me? Do I want to believe they did what they did with no love for me . . . or for Anna? Can I forgive them?" Suddenly he was there, barely visible at the corner of her vision, kneeling beside her to her right, his hair a splash of blood in the darkening room, he reached out his hand and placed it heavily on her shoulder, it was painful to the touch. Elsa ground her teeth together, building her resolve to attempt to fight off this human vulture with the last of her strength. She clenched her eyes shut and wrenched herself away from his touch, rolling as far as she could to her left before striking out at him weakly with her right leg.
Elsa felt her foot connect with something, followed by a sharp pain and a grunt, a moment passed and the only sounds she could hear anymore was the thundering of her heart in her ears. As her heart rate and breathing began to calm and the sound of blood rushing in her ears subsided, a hand once again made its way to Elsa's shoulder, but this time the touch was light and kind, yet firm. Most importantly it wasn't painful, if anything it was rather soothing, comforting.
"Darling . . . Snowdrop, open your eyes Elsa," Obeying hesitantly, Elsa allowed her eyes to ease open, and what she saw before her temporarily glued her tongue to the top of her mouth. Crouched down before her was her mother, Queen Iduna, as beautiful as the day she left five years ago, and behind her tending a growing fire which was beginning to light the room again was her father, she could recognize him just by his figure lit by firelight. Elsa could imagine wrapping a strand of his graying hair around her finger to make it curl, or staring into his hazel eyes that were always smiling, even when he was stern.
"Mama . . . Pappa . . . Am I dead as well?" Agnarr shifted another log in the fireplace roughly before bending down and depositing another on top of the growing pile, as he stood straight again, she could see the tense line of his shoulders and the grim set of his jaw, his profile marred by the dancing shadows cascading along the roof from the fire. Her mother on the other hand only squeezed Elsa's shoulder lightly and smiled a sad smile.
Her eye had appeared for a moment in the prism. The prism Elsa had formed and molded from ice, one moment she was staring at her own Icy blue eyes, arched blonde brow and pert upturned nose, and the next it was replaced by darker blue eyes with crows' feet, a furrowed russet brow and a longer thinner nose. What she had seen that had made Elsa shatter the prism earlier, were the same things she was witnessing now on her mother's face, expressions as easy to read as any of her favorite novels. Sadness, concern, disappointment, it made Elsa want to crawl away and hide, it made her want to screw her eyes shut tight and never open them again, it was a different kind of hurt, a different pain.
"Elsa," Immediately her attention was drawn to her father's commanding visage at the fireplace, he had turned slightly allowing Elsa to see his side profile, including his hazel eyes which because of the fire were burning bright orange. "A Queen does not falter, and she does not doubt her decisions. When a Royal makes a decision it is made, and it is made for the good of all, never let them see you doubt. Never let them see you bleed, is that understood?" Elsa strained her neck, trying to get a better look at her father's face, "Just one more time . . ." Abruptly he turned to face the fire again, tending it once more with the poker, his back to the room. Elsa sighed shakily and nodded to herself before answering,
"Yes Papa, understood, I will try to be the Ruler you demand of me." At the end of her sentence his head perked up for a moment and his shoulders sagged,
"Be the Ruler you were meant to be Snowdrop . . . I love you, understood?" Elsa felt tears once again prick the corner of her eyes.
"I love you too Papa, I'll work harder, I promise." Elsa felt a scratching sensation on her scalp, she had been so distracted that she hadn't realized her mother had been gently scratching her head while carding her fingers through her hair. Her mother smiled at her bemusedly before gently placing her finger against her daughter's lips.
"Silence now lamb, save your strength, you will need it. Your rescuer will be here soon I am sure." Her mother sniffled wiping her eyes, Elsa felt her own face would be wet as well if she wasn't encased in ice. "I love you too lamb, so dearly, let me sing you a song to pass the time. Close your eyes and just relax, you're safe here I promise." Hesitantly Elsa began to close her eyes, but not before looking at her mom and saying,
"I love you too Mama, and I'm sorry." Her mother looked at her for a moment with a confusing emotion, before shaking her head, she then motioned with her hand again to be quiet.
"Close your eyes." Eyes closed at last, Elsa's senses flooded with sounds and smells, the soothing smell of the wood burning fire, her father humming and huffing to himself under his breath, the feeling of her mother's fingers carding through her hair as her nails lightly scraped her scalp.
"Where the north wind meets the sea,
there's a river full of memory.
Sleep my darling, safe and sound,
for in this river all is found."
Elsa could feel something stir within her in response to this song. It was familiar, like a long-forgotten lullaby, she allowed a smile to curl her lips as warmth spread across her body.
"In her waters, deep and true,
lay the answers and a path for you.
Dive down deep into her sound,
but not too far or you'll be drowned."
"Yes, she will sing to those who'll hear,
and in her song, all magic flows.
Can you brave what you most fear?
Can you face what the river knows?"
Suddenly, Elsa could feel her body getting very warm, hot as though she was being boiled alive. Her mothers' hands no longer stayed on her shoulder but rubbed along her arms, her stomach, her legs. The motion was furious and frantic, as was the voice singing the lullaby.
"Where the north wind meets the sea,
there's a mother full of memory.
Come, my darling, homeward bound,
When. . . Dammit, Elsa please wake up."
Abruptly the singing stopped, and just as sudden as the singing ended so did the over whelming warmth. Elsa began to shiver again, quaking like a leaf. Desperately she reached with her hands and began rubbing her arms and her chest for warmth and blowing into her hands to warm her finger tips. Elsa's eyes flew open wide, looking down the first thing she noticed was that she had been moved to a different spot much closer to the fireplace then she remembered. Her hands and body seemed to be free of the ice that had suffused them. Also, it seems somebody had changed her out of her dress and into some cotton pajamas and a warm bathrobe, "Which smells very nice," Elsa noted as she lifted the material to her nose. A Loud noise startled her from her thoughts, causing Elsa to cast her gaze across the room and be met by a very confusing sight at first glance.
Anna stood a few feet from Elsa next to the fireplace, frantically she was poking at the fire and muttering expletives to herself, while shifting the logs to make room for another on top.
"Oh trolls, it is hot in here, the things you do for family," Anna suddenly exclaimed, her voice was rough, and as Elsa arched her neck to catch a glimpse of Anna's face, she noticed that her sister's lower lip was captured between her teeth, her brow was furrowed and there were the beginnings of circles under her eyes. Elsa watched as Anna jerkily set the poker back leaning against the mantle, which caused it to fall and land on the stone with a clang, then with a vicious grunt she ripped the long dirty tunic she was wearing over her head and tossed it onto the couch which was pushed against the wall, assumedly to make room for the armchair which had been moved closer to the fire place.
Elsa felt her cheeks flush with a sudden infuse of heat as she watched her baby sister, now half naked except for the rather dirty trousers she had on hitched up by a gilded belt, turn and flop unceremoniously and rather un lady like into the armchair.
"Oh Elsa," Anna sighed, turning the chair to face the believed to be sleeping platinum blonde. Trying to be polite, Elsa quickly shut her eyes to try and afford Anna some of her modesty in lieu of her apparent nakedness. "If you were awake right now, I'm sure you would know exactly what to do and wouldn't be this frantic if I were in your position, you could have probably chopped and transported the wood using your powers and never even had to leave this room. Unlike me, I had to steal Kristoff's dirty pair of clothes and run outside and chop wood. All of the pieces of wood are different thicknesses and their uneven, I don't even know how many splinters I've found and pulled out by now, gosh I'm such a klutz."
Elsa allowed a roller coaster of emotions to roll through her, a sickening sadness at the way Anna described her actions, Elsa was positive she didn't even know how an axe worked. An unnatural surge of joy at the amazing lengths Anna had gone through to help her and make sure she's safe and alive. Then there was a rush of guilt as she thought of all the pain and worry, she has put Anna through today, and finally there was a gushing unrivaled love for her sister and how wonderful and caring she was. "How could I ever deserve you."
Anna suddenly shifted, leaning forward and placing her head in her hands, her strawberry blonde hair with the single white streak was pulled up into a messy high ponytail, "How undignified." Elsa thought before shaking her own head and berating herself, "Obviously it was rushed and she was working, it wouldn't be good if her hair was caught in anything." Anna groaned to herself, and rubbed her temples, and then to Elsa's shock she began to sing. Not only sing, Anna was singing the same song her mother was singing to her before she awoke.
"Where the north wind meets the sea,
there's a mother full of memory.
Come, my darling, homeward bound,
When. . . When . . ."
"Goddammit I can't remember, I don't know what comes next in the lullaby, gosh and who even cares about the lullaby Anna, your sister is in a coma! I care, because even though I may sound crazy; especially because I'm talking to myself right now, I feel like the lullaby was helping, like if I can finish it maybe Elsa would wake up." A sob burst from Anna, and Elsa knew she couldn't let this go on, with no shame she pushed herself to her hands and knees and crawled over to Anna's chair, she then stood on her knees and reached out, touching Anna's shoulder. Gasping Anna turned with neck breaking speed to look at Elsa, her expression changing to one of surprise, her mouth agape, her eyes wide, her hands which had just been holding her head in distress now fell limply into her lap. Elsa smiled as sweetly as she could muster with how sore she was feeling and reached out her hands to cup Anna's face. Without a moments delay, once Elsa's hand made contact Anna leaned into Elsa's touch, clasping the back of her right hand with her own and turning her face into it, placing a kiss on Elsa's palm.
Elsa blushed, turning her eyes away due to the overwhelming intimacy of the moment, she felt uncomfortable seeing Anna this raw. She turned back, and found Anna staring back at her, her own cheeks were rather flushed, and it seemed she was realizing her state of undress and also what she had just done.
"Elsa . . . I," Suddenly the door flung inward, Anna in a frenzy let go of Elsa's hand and dropped to the floor behind the couch, scooping up the tunic she had discarded on the piece of furniture and roughly forcing it over her head. Luckily who had burst into the room was not paying attention to Anna,
"Your Majesty, I have a message for you, it is urgent, from the head of staff." Elsa felt her brow furrow, a sudden feeling of uneasiness began to settle in her stomach, the feeling of consternation must have been apparent on her face because the messenger was very quick to bow and back pedal. "I am so sorry if I have bothered her Majesty at an inopportune time, I was not trying to –"
"No, its alright," Elsa gathering her self as best she could, she pulled herself into the armchair, turning the chair to give the messenger her full attention. "Go ahead and relay the message." Nodding the young man took a deep breath and prepared to relay the message.
"From Kai, head of staff for the Royal family of Arendelle. Addressed to Her Majesty, Queen Elsa Oldenburg of Arendelle. Today in the evening when overseeing food deliveries to inmates in the castle dungeons, which consists of hard bread and water, I was accosted by none other than that 'Ginger Prince.'"
"Hans!" Anna popped up from her hiding position, now fully dressed, her hair loose and free from her ponytail due to her earlier acrobatics. She startled the messenger badly, making him squeak rather loudly in surprise. Elsa covered her mouth politely, trying to avoid outright laughing, but also covering a grimace. A rather horrible headache was setting in and she was still rather exhausted. "Why would that scab on the bottom of my foot accost Kai, what does he have to say that would require an urgent message? In fact, why did Kai even send you over here to deliver this in the –"
"Anna," Her Sister shut her mouth almost immediately, clearing her throat and scratching the back of her head, she gazed over her shoulder back at Elsa sheepishly.
"My apologies, it was rude to interrupt her Majesty, please continue young sir." With that Anna stepped back a few steps, coming to stand at attention one step back and to the left of Elsa. "Where she would usually stand while in court, very amusing Anna," Elsa thought with a small smirk, uncovering her mouth she smiled genially at the messenger and gestured with a wave of her right hand to continue. The messenger nodded in thanks, and promptly continued reading,
"I was reluctant to give that blood-soaked spit shine even a moment of my day, forgive my language Majesty, that was until he mentioned your parents." Elsa, raised her hand, hoping to ask her own questions and signal to Anna to back down, Elsa could almost feel the raw energy coiling within her Sister at the contents of this message.
"What could former Prince Hans Vestergaard of the Southern Isles, thirteenth in line and a bastard, know about my parents?" Elsa waited patiently as the messenger respectfully bowed and read the message thoroughly, she noticed as sweat began to bead on the man's brow and as his face became pale. He cleared throat loudly and looked to Elsa with reverence.
"It seems your Majesty, that this Prince, former Prince Hans has claimed that he knows the location of your parents crashed ship, apparently he claims it did not sink in the ocean. Not only that he also claims. . . he also . . ."
"Yes? What does he also claim, speak up!" The messenger flinched, his face paler than before, he looked rather frightened, and something primal within Elsa felt glad at that sentiment.
"He claims, that your parents may be alive." Elsa allowed her body to become numb from the shock that statement brought her. Never would she have thought that this could happen, never had she thought that someone would step forward and claim to know these things and so confidently at that. Most importantly, she never in a hundred years would have believed that person could be Hans Vestergaard. Elsa opened her mouth, about to speak, but was interrupted.
"WHAT?!"