Title: A Sin In Girls Clothing

Author: Diana A. Falcon

Type: Full Metal Alchemist; Romance, Yaoi

Rating: M

Pairings: EdxEnvy, RoyxOC

Betas: Gracy-Pride, Rima-Wrath, Hoshi-Envy. Thank you all!

Summary: Envy loves Ed, but the alchemist doesn't return his feelings. So Envy decides to go with a different approach. A female approach.

Disclaimer:

Diana:comes out from behind large rock PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I do realize it has been an extremely long time since I last updated and I apologize to all of you!

Hoshi-Envy: I say we kill her anyway, even if she did apologize.

Gracy-Pride: I concur.

Diana: 0.0 I thought you guys were my friends!

Hoshi-Envy & Gracy-Pride: Your point is?

Diana: Rima! SAVE ME! runs behind Rima-Wrath

Rima-Wrath: sweat drops Diana does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 3: Boxers and Mini-skirts

Alphonse Elric had always been a morning person. He got up every morning, fixed breakfast for Ed, and planned out the shopping list for the rest of the week. Al had become a very good cook during the time that he and Ed had lived on their own. Cooking was something he had always enjoyed doing with his mom but it was also in that way, a daily reminder of how much he missed her. Even so, he got up every morning and made a large breakfast for Ed. How such a little guy could eat so much still bewildered Al. Not that he would ever mention it to his short fused brother. This was the reason he was awake at 6:40 when a knock sounded on the door of their living quarters.

Al turned down the flames on the stove to a bare minimum, so that the water could continue to boil for the tea.

"Coming," he called as he removed the apron from around his neck and laid it over the back of a chair. He opened the door expecting to see either the 2nd Lt. or some other military official, but instead he found himself looking down at a girl. He guessed she was about Ed's age and she might actually have been shorter than him. Al thought the only person in the world who was shorter than Ed was Granny Pinakko. Obviously there were other short people in the world. You learn something new every day.

"Is this where Edward Elric lives?" she asked. Al nodded.

"Yes, I'm his brother." He said.

"You must be Alphonse Elric. My names Ashlyn, pleased to meet you."

She extended her hand to shake his. Al was a little surprised that she didn't stare at him like most teenagers and other children did when he walked down the street.

He shook her hand and said, "Are you here to get him?"

The girl nodded. "My mom sent me to escort him. I'm not exactly sure why. She mumbled something about a perverted Colonel and mini-skirts." Ashlyn said. Al gave a small laugh before comprehension settled in.

"Oh, you must be Lt. Hawkeye's daughter!" he said. Ashlyn nodded.

"Yeah, I am. Hang on, how did you know?" she asked, looking quizzically up at him.

"My brother told me about you." Al explained. Ashlyn's eyes glinted and she smiled sheepishly.

"He did? Oh wow… that was nice of him to mention me." Al would have smiled at the slight blush line that appeared on Ashlyn's face. He stepped aside so that he was no longer blocking the doorway.

"Ni-san is still asleep, but until he wakes up would you like to come in? I was in the process of making breakfast if you'd like some." Al said. Ashlyn's smile broadened as she nodded.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble. I skipped breakfast this morning." Al guided her into the kitchen.

"No problem at all." He said. Al busied himself with the kettle, pulling down another cup from the counter for Ashlyn. He nodded towards the bacon, toast, eggs, and orange juice that were spread out on the table.

" Help yourself," he said. Ashlyn nodded shyly and started putting food on the plate she had picked up.

"Umm…do you have any milk?"

Al turned around to face Ashlyn.

"I think we have some. I have to check. Ni-san doesn't like milk so I normally don't pick it up. I think I might have recently though," he said as he walked over to the fridge.

"Really? I love milk. I've always thought myself a bit of a cat." Ashlyn said.

"I like cats," Al said as he rummaged through the contents of the fridge.

"Aha!" He pulled out a carton of milk and turned to Ashlyn.

"Found it." Ashlyn beamed at him.

"Thanks," she said taking the carton from him. She poured herself a glass then offered the carton to him. Al just shook his head and she shrugged. She sat, placing the carton next to her. She had just raised the cup to her lips when the elder Elric entered the kitchen, his arms raised above his head as he stretched.

Al watched Ashlyn gulp the milk she had taken into her mouth ((0.o Okay if you are as corrupted as I am, you just had a mental image that wasn't supposed to be there. That comes later my friends. All I meant by that sentence was that she swallowed really hard…ok that didn't help matters)) as Ed opened his eyes from yawning. His eyes locked with Ashlyn's and then fell to the streak of white liquid on her lips. (( . that wasn't supposed to come out like that…oh well who cares. Bring on the innuendoes!)) Both teens then blushed bright red. The reason was due to the fact that Ed always rolled out of bed first thing in the morning, meaning he came to the breakfast table in what he slept in. This meant that Ashlyn was now looking at Edward Elric in nothing but his boxers. ((THERE! For all of you with disturbed minds, such as myself, that mental image is for you!)) This morning Ed was resplendent in black silk boxers.

Ashlyn turned away from the short alchemist and Al heard her let out a shuddering breath before saying, "Hi Ed… umm… my mom told me to come get you…"

Ed seemed to pull himself out of a trance and he looked at Al in panic. Al read his brothers expression and grabbed a pair of freshly folded pants that lay in the laundry basket. Ed pulled on the pants as he said, laughing slightly to hide his embarrassment, "Well, I'm sorry that you had to see me like this. Al can testify that I'm not too pleasant or presentable in the morning."

"I don't know about personality wise but you're pleasant enough to the eyes." Ashlyn mumbled. Al stared at the girl, who had regained her blush. Ed on the other hand hadn't heard the comment.

"So… umm... would you like some breakfast?"

Envy had trouble restraining himself from jumping Ed on the spot when the little alchemist walked into the kitchen. Damn, his chibi was sexy! Envy had kept a mental image of Ed in the front of his mind after the teen had left him, but looking at him now in the flesh he decided that he hadn't given his chibi enough credit.

He tore his eyes away from Ed, stopping them from stripping the blond in his mind. He drew a slow breath trying to regain his control.

The whole plan was to seduce Ed first as a girl, and then get him into bed. Of course the whole bed idea would be with him back in his normal form. He couldn't very well be dominate if he was a girl now could he? Well there was always the tempting possibility at bondage…but that wasn't the point.

"Hi Ed… umm… my mom told me to come get you…" Envy said, trying to make himself sound flustered. Act innocent! You're supposed to be a teenage girl remember; not some brilliant, sexy, to die for male homunculus hell bent on getting back his chibi! ((Diana: Oh no, he doesn't have an ego at all. Envy: If there's anything more important than my ego in this room, I want it caught and killed. Diana: My point is proven. Envy: Don't make me kill you. Diana: You can't kill me. I'm the authoress! Envy: pulls out dagger So? Diana: 0.0))

Envy had to will himself not to jump when Ed said, "Well, I'm sorry that you had to see me like this. Al can testify that I'm not too pleasant or presentable in the morning."

Envy was still trying to get used to hearing Ed address him. It had seemed like forever since his chibi had last spoken to him.

"I don't know about personality wise but you're pleasant enough to the eyes," he mumbled. The comment was almost followed by a curse. Envy resisted the urge to ram his head into the table in front of him. Holy crap! Could you have been any less subtle you idiot! You should have just put up a big sign with neon lights; that would have been less obvious!

He noticed that the younger Elric was looking at him, shocked. Oh shit he heard that? Crap, crap, crap! Umm think of something so you blush…umm…Edward and umm… trains and ice cream and fireworks and bananas…((Diana: These are just a few of the words you can no longer say around my friends and me. Hoshi-Envy: Strawberry kiwi… Gracy-Pride, Hoshi-Envy, and Diana: giggle fit)) By this time Envy had worked up a substantial blush. Luck would have it though that Ed had apparently not heard the comment.

"So… um… would you like some breakfast?" he said. Envy was glad to have an escape from the awkward situation. He gestured at the plate beside him.

"Your brother offered me something while you were asleep." He said, taking the risk of turning back around. He addressed Alphonse.

"It's all delicious thank you." He caught Ed's face reddening again out of the corner of his eye. The young alchemist was staring at Envy's face or more accurately, his lips. Ed realized that Envy was watching him, watching him, ((wow, had fun with that)) and looked away hastily.

"You've got something…" He pointed to his own lips. Envy put his finger on his lips to find he still had milk resting there. Resisting the urge to smirk, Envy slowly drew his tongue over his lips. He couldn't hide the perverted gleam in his eyes as hard as he tried. He was positive that the chibi was getting the subliminal message. Sure enough, as Envy's eyes flickered down to Ed's crotch, the slight bulge was unmistakable in the young alchemists pants. This was going to be way too easy.

Ed walked out of the Lieutenant Colonel's office, feeling that someone could have fried and egg on his face, quite literally. As if the whole incident that morning hadn't been enough, hell had seemingly broken open and swallowed them when they walked into the military headquarters. The walk there had been pleasant and Ashlyn had chattered happily with the two brothers as if nothing had happened. Then they walked into Mustang's office.

The tiasa was sitting at his desk, well lounging back in his chair, hands linked behind his head. He probably would have fallen asleep in that position had it not been for a short blond alchemist who proceeded to chuck a pineapple shaped paperweight at him. This particular paperweight had a small bite taken out of the corner of it, making the edges quite pointy. The colliding of the pineapple paperweight with the direct center of a certain Asian-eyed colonel's forehead resulted in the same Asian-eyed colonel cursing like a sailor on the floor.

"Damn it Fullmetal! What the hell was that for?" Mustang yelled. Ed scowled back.

"Some commanding officer you are. You're lazier than a cow." He retorted. Ashlyn pulled off the black floor length coat she was wearing and laid it on the back of a chair.

"So this is Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, is it?" she asked looking at Ed for an answer.

"Unfortunately." Mustang picked himself off the floor, glaring daggers at the small alchemist.

"I swear Fullmetal I will court martial yo-…" He stopped talking abruptly. Ed followed Mustang's open-mouthed stare that was focused on Ashlyn. The girl obviously hadn't been pre-warned about the Lieutenant Colonels borderline obsession with mini-skirts. The low cut red blouse and white tennis skirt would have caused the colonel to develop a nosebleed, if he hadn't been hit once again in the face. Luckily, Ed had the decency to opt for variety, and had lobbed a stapler at his commanding officer. During the fight that followed; Lt. Hawkeye had entered the office, given her daughter a pair of jeans, directed her toward a bathroom to change, handed Alphonse a piece of paper, and pointed a loaded gun to Roy Mustang's temple. The fight stopped immediately to say the least. Al wrapped a metal arm around his brothers' waist and managed to pull the small alchemist out of the office.

So the two brothers were now walking the streets of East City, supposedly looking for any disturbances. Unfortunately, Ed seemed to be causing more of a disturbance than any of the people on the street.

"That bastard Colonel! How did he get to be a Lieutenant Colonel anyway? All Mustang is is a perverted lecherous old man!"

"Brother, you're frightening everyone." Ed looked around and noticed the amount of people staring at him thanks to his out burst. He settled for stuffing his hands in his pockets and muttering,

"Well he is…"

"I have to agree with you on that." Ed spun around to face the person, who had commented, hands ready to transmute his arm if need be. A woman was resting against a wall close to the brothers. She looked very travel worn and her clothes, covered in dirt, were a testament to that assumption. Her breathing was slightly shallow and her face was pained as she smirked.

"I take it you're talking about Roy Mustang right?" she said. Ed lowered his arm, nodding slowly, still wary of the newcomer. The woman laughed, and then clutched her stomach in pain, dropping to her knees.

"Are you okay?" Ed asked as he moved over to her, placing an arm on her back.

"Take me…to the military…headquarters…" she managed to rasp out. Ed was about to object when Al interjected.

"Brother, look at her back!" As she had fallen forward, the brown traveling cloak she had around her shoulders had slipped, revealing the open back of the white dress she was wearing. As Ed pulled his hand away, he found it covered in blood. Scars and re-opened gashes ran up and down the woman's back. Ed could now see that the traveling cloak had been covered in dry blood, making it look brown.

"Al, give me a hand!" Ed helped the woman to her feet and wrapped one of her arms around his neck to keep her standing.

"It's alright ma'am. We'll get you to headquarters." Ed tried to reassure himself that the woman wouldn't die of blood loss before they reached their destination.

"Go figure…" Ed looked at the woman who had a half smile on her face.

"They sent me away because they couldn't whip me into submission… and now I'm back… whipped almost to death." Her voice was getting softer. Al picked up the woman bridal-style, careful not to touch her back.

"A little too ironic for my taste…" she said. She shifted, pushing her hand into her pocket.

"Try not to move, you'll loose more blood." Al said. She pulled something from her pocket the glittered in the light. Ed recognized the hexagram on the front.

"Well… I guess disobedient dogs… deserve… to be… punished…" Ed looked at the woman as she passed out.

"Come on Al. We definitely can't let her die now!" Ed yelled over his shoulder as he took off running.

"Brother slow down. I don't want to hurt her." But Ed didn't slow his pace. His mind was racing faster than his legs as he sprinted towards the military building.

'Who was this woman? How had she been so severely injured? And most importantly, why would someone do that to a state alchemist?'

Diana: Yay! Thank you so much for reading this. I will try my absolute hardest to get the next chapter up in a timely fashion!

Gracy-Pride: If you ever get off your lazy arse. Hoshi-Envy: That could take a while.

Rima-Wrath: nods

Diana: ;-;

Rima-Wrath: hugs Diana We only kid because we care.

Gracy-Pride & Hoshi-Envy: We don't.

Diana: sniffle

Rima-Wrath: Please review.